Rest for the Wicked

by Lost In A Vacuum

Decisions, decisions...

Montgomry took a deep sigh. He held this job for two decades, and the entire time he hadn't gotten a single promotion. He pushed the large door open and was greeted by a pale, nude Eight Toes, covered in many bodies, some females, others... Montgomry made a digusted groan. "Could you please cloth yourself, sir? My eyes are not conditioned to such... sights." Eight Toes stood up from the pile.

"Yeah, yeah, old man. Did ya put the tea on?" He said in a boston acent while pulling up some pants to cover his manhood.

"Yes, sir. The tea is ready. Would you like the normal mixture?"

"Nah, spice it up a little. Try that Applelousa stuff, ya'know the stuff that makes ya real hyper."

"I'm not sure that's safe, sir."

"Who cares! I sure don't. Anyways, how's ya wife?"

"I'm not married sir."

"Oh, get married so that question makes sense, k?"

"I'll try my best, sir." Montgomry then walked over to the giant screen in the room and began to upload a map of the local area. It was slightly cracked from the night before.

"Whata we got, Monty?"

"The Spartans are moving on The Flock here and here, sir." He pointed to the screen.

"What about the Dwellers?" He put on a shirt to cover his scrawny, hairless chest.

"They, too, are attacking The Flock, sir. It seems that they are cooperating. I suggest that we sign that treaty Mr. Adolph presented the other day."

"Nah, I'm stayin' with Gil for now. I still gotta pay off that favor."

"Sir?"

"Oh... you were on leave that week. Don't ask." He walked over to make a drink out of various beverages on a counter.

"Sir, this reminds me. We are running low on funds. I suggest that we cut back on this... partying. Either that or find ways to more revenue."

"Cut back on partying! Woah, woah, woah! Slow down and listen to yourself! We'll find ways to more cash. Just don't. Touch. My. Partying funds!"

"Sorry to bring up such a 'tradgic' thought, sir. How do you suspect we gain more revenue, sir?"

Eight Toes looked at the screen and pointed towards a town on the map. "That town! Did we hit it yet?"

"Ponyville, sir? I'm afraid not, sir."

"Then raid it! Raid the fuck outta it! Take everything to the cornbeef and hash! Then... I dunno, put it under our control and tax 'em like usual." He took a sip of his concoction and looked over to Montgumry. "See? This 'ruling' stuff ain't so hard. Just like pops use to do. Right?"

"Not at all, sir. Not at all."

"Cheer up, old man. Ten more years and you'll get that pension."

"I'll be dead first, sir."

"At least you died doin' what you loved." Montgumry sighed once again.

=================

Mordecai kicked the buggy. "Money well spent, Lilth! Money well fuckin' spent!" The engine died after about a day's worth of travel.

"Calm down, Mort! It got us far enough!" Twilight crawled out from the buggy's underbelly.

"It got us far enough to WHERE, Exactly?" Lilth bit her lip and thought for a moment. "Point proven! You know, we could've stocked up on more ammo or ,god forbid, BUY A SHIELD! But no, we NEEDED a damn car!"

"Shut up, Mort! You whining wont get us closer to anywhere!" Mordecai rubbed his face and thought for a minute.

"Okay, plan B. Find the closest town and rest for a couple of days. Then we can decide what to do from there."

"We already know what to do, Mort. We're so close to finding that damn pony and possibly element 8! We can't rest just yet."

"How do you know we're so close?"

Twilight buded in, "Well, she was injured. She most likely left to regain strength. That leaves us with a small window of opportunity to find her weakened. And we ARE close."

"How do you know?"

"Just trust me. I got a REALLY good gut feeling on this."

Mordecai sighed and sat against the buggy. He put his face into his hand and sighed, "I'm on a planet I've never been on before. I'm following a pony, who I don't even know, who has a GUT FEELING about finding an object I don't even know is a gas, solid, or liquid. Where did I go so wrong." Lilth walked over to Mordecai. She kneeled beside him.

"Mordecai. You're whining again." He stood up and brushed himself off.

"Alright, let's get walking. We got serious ground to cover."

================

The town was desolate. The only people that Rainbow Dash saw were patrol men wearing the same purple and white Crimson gear as the ones in the buggies. And there was plenty of patrol men.

That name. Brusierville. Could it really be him?...No couldn't be. He's locked up in the tightest of prisons. But if it is...

"What do we do now?" Rainbow Dash decided to ask.

"Well, first we gotta get our shit back. There's no way we are going anywhere without our guns."

"Wait! Our WEAPONS were in there?! Why did you throw them away!?"

"We were surrounded! Better to lose our guns for a few hours then be DEAD."

"Okay, what's the plan then? Seeing as you obviously have a plan... right?"

"Yeah," He began as he pulled out his PDA, "Trackers. Don't leave home without 'em. We just find where they're holdin' our stuff, take it, and get the hell outta dodge."

"Seems too simple. They got Crimson gear and we got... Brick."

"Just trust me on this one," He PDA beeped, "There we go! Let's go." They slowly walked to the town armory. They walked into a nearby general store for cover. Roland looked out the window. "Okay, we got two heavily armed buggies, roughly three seperate patrols, and possibly a combo-lock we're gonna need to break under heavy pressure. All with our bare hands. Yup, we're boned."

"Looking to get your hands on the armory, eh?" A scratchy voice said behind them. Roland and Rainbow Dash turned around to view the man. Brick just stared at the building across the street.

"Uh, yeah. Why? You got a way to get to it?" The man motioned for the three to follow him.

"Come, there are others like you." The four then went into a small back room of the general store. In the room there was a small assortment of humans and ponies. At the end of the room stood a tall, silent man. "Sir, I have found more initiates for the cause." The man nodded.

A small boy walked beside the taller man at the end of the room. He seemed similar to the taller one, quite possibly relations to him. "Good work, Iron Cloak. Gordon is pleased" The boy said, he then turned to the three wanderers. "It seems you have arrived at 'Bruiserville' at quite a perfect time. We were in need of a few more initiates to begin the attacks on these bandits. If you would be so kind to join our cause, you shall be repaid handsomely."

"Handsomely, you say? And how much IS handsomely, exactly?" Roland asked.

"You shall recieve the utmost respect of your fellow peers, you shall recieve glory of no kind for your coragous acts of selflessness, and you will recieve the hornor of becoming of knight of The Order of Free Men and Ponies"

"Respect, glory, and becoming a knight? Fuck it, I just want my gear that they took. You can keep that 'knight' bullshit."

"Whatever your motives be, helping us shall aid you in reaching them."

"Alright, deal."

"Glorious! Meet us at the outskirts of the town. To begin our attack, we must first destroy their cavalry."

"Their what?"

"Oh, sorry. The buggies."

"Why?"

"They gain most of their power from the buggies. It was what made the town surrender in the first place. With their main attacking force out of the question we can procede to decomission the inner town patrols and eventually eject the occupying force out of the town hall and mark our first victory."

"Wow, you guys really put your heart and souls into killing off a couple of wannabe bandits in a no-name town." Rainbow Dash said.

"Gordon has seen the horrors of this land. He has also witnessed the beauty of it's once thriving empire. He takes pity for the ponies and only wishes for them to have back their rightful homes. Though it may seem that we are only attacking mere thugs, others will hear our call. And when they do, they shall join us in freeing Equestria. When all is said and done, we shall leave Equestria and return to our rightful homes, and maybe purge the evil there as well."

"That's pretty preachy. Did you practice that speech or somethin'?" Roland interupted.

"Yes, a little. It was good, right?"

"Eh, it was okay."

"Well, back to buisness. I am sure you will meet us at the desiered location."

"Which is...?"

"Oh, the big rock that it on the northern entrance to the town. That is where the buggies fuel up at the end of their shifts. I'm sure you passed it on the way into town."

"Alright, meet you guys there." The three then left the general store. They then bumbed into a scrawny, pale man that resembled a rat in a thin cloak.

"Hello, dear friends." He said

"Who the hell are you?" Roland said, pushing the man backwards.

"My name has no meaning to the likes of you. My motives on the other hand..."

"And those are?"

"This 'Order of Free Men and Ponies', I'm sure you've heard of them. They have aquired a reputaion that only outlaws would appreciate. They are seen by myself and many others as a small problem that would eventually grow into something... undesirable." He pulled out a large bag of bits. Roland couldn't help but stare at it with awe for a few seconds. "I only wish that you tell me when these thorns in my proprietor's side are to make a movement of sorts considered 'unwanted' and you shall recieve this and so much more."

"I don't know about this guy, Roland." Rainbow Dash began, "He's too damn shady. It's making me uncomfortable."

"Hold up! This is MY decision. If I think that I need the cash, I just might give this guy our info. Hell, it could save us a lot of trouble. With that cash, we could easily buy our shit back, and then some!"

"But on the other hand, you will be murdering innocent people who only want to free this town!"

"QUIET, PONY! This is for the man, and the man alone to decide." Rainbow Dash looked at Roland, who was looking back at Rainbow Dash. Brick walked up behind Roland and put his hand on his shoulder. Roland looked back at Brick, Brick shook his head in disagreement. Then Roland finally looked back at the bag of money.

Comments

[Lost In A Vacuum]

373956 Yeah, I relised that this was just a little off. After I was done with my current project I was gonna come back to this and completely redo this and make it much more: 1)Enjoyable 2)Reasonable 3)Overall Better
But anyways, thanks for the feedback.

[Jack Kellar]

375271 You "were"? Aren't you going to do it anymore? I was even going to offer a few pieces of advice...

[Lost In A Vacuum]

375480 Oh, my bad. I meant to say when I was done with my current project I was going to come back to this. I'm still working on something else at the moment, but I will most likely come back to it once this other project is out of the way.
Also, seeing as I'm always trying to improve my writing, I'll gladly take any advice you got for my writing.
Thanks in advance.

[Jack Kellar]

375569 Woo, excellent news! I'll be waiting, and giving feedback as the story goes.

[Lost In A Vacuum]

375621 Okay, just don't hold your breath. I my current story is gonna be a long one. Just sayin'...

[Husqvarnic]

MONEY DON GROW ON TREES! I GOT BILLS TA PAY I GOT MOUTHS TA FEED THERE AINT NOTHIN IN THIS WORLD FOR FREE! NO YA CANT STAND DOWN, YA CANT HOLD BACK THOUGH YA KNOW WE WISH WE COULD! ALTHOUGH THERE AINT NO REST FOR THE WICKED, UNTIL WE CLOSE OUR EYES FOR GOOD!

[Spectro]

3341892
You mean worst pony?

[Oreon]

375672
"Don't hold your breath"
If any of us did, those ones are definitely dead by now from lack of air.

[NotShadowLotus488]

1408878 love dat song