Rest for the Wicked

by Lost In A Vacuum

Setting Course

Coursel Boutique Inn

Mordecai was balencing himself on his stool. He had a large pile on shot glasses in front of him. Twilight gazed upon the human in an unimpressed look.

"I-I dunt git it. Howda drink sa much an' not be all... yaknow, drunk." Mordecai asked, almost falling off his chair.

"I don't know actually. I guess that us ponies have 'livers o' steel'." Mordecai laughed crazily.

"Yar reel funay, yaknow that? Hay, Roland! Shes funay!" Roland had already passed out hours ago. Lilth checked into bed long before the 'drink off' began, and Brick never showed up to the Inn.

"So, what brings you guys here in the first place?" Twilight asked.

"Uh... hol'on. Letma think. Ohya, dat's right! Wer broke! Yup! Needed sum cash and come to find out that ther was sum here. We just needed to pull sum favers and get a ride here and then we could pull some odd jobs. Mainly merc stuff though, that's wat we'r good at an' the pay's good."

"So why are you so interested with this element 8 stuff?"

"I dunno, reely. I guess that I like the 'adventure'. It is pretty cool when lil' kiddies look up to ya an' say dat dey wanna be just like ya' when dey grow up. Hell, after a while of 'adventuring' some punks at this place called 'Gearshed' er sumthing wannid ta make a game in stuff about us!"

"What'd ya' say?"

"I dunno, maybe. Shoulda probably said yes, now that we need the cash. But that ships passed. So, my turn, what did ya' do that made ya get all captured by dat pony thing back ther? Wat's so special about you?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time." Twilight said with a bad poker face, Mordecai couldn't read it, though. Twilight had wondered why she of all travelers in the woods SHE was the one that was taken.

"Oh, okay. I think it's time to check in fer da night. See ya in da mornin' Twi."

"It is morning."

"Oh..." He continued to his room to sleep away the day.

================

Ponyville Market

Rainbow Dash walked up to her old friend.

"Hi, Rainbow Dash." Twilight said in a cheerful manner. Rainbow Dash looked at her friends goods. She had a serious price drop on everything. Rainbow Dash cocked an eyebrow.

"Going somewhere?" Twilight looked at her friend.

"Uh, yeah, actually. I'm going north for something."

"What something?" She said, picking up a rusty pistol off the table.

"Oh, nothing, really."

"Oh... okay." There was an awkward silence for a few moments.

Twilight then broke the silence, "Yeah, I'm was originally going with a group of about four, but then two of them decided that they wanted to head south. You know, towards that old Jakobs milling town."

Rainbow Dash looked up at her friend. "The milling town?"

"Yeah, they were going to be-"

"You mean the one that's just north of Hoofington?"

"Yeah, that's the one. Anyways-"

"Where can I find these two?"

"Oh, they're at Rarity's Inn. They're sleeping off one hell of a night. One's really buff and tall, the others got some old Crimson Lance armor. It's really hard to miss 'em." Rainbow Dash then walked to the Inn at a fast pace. Just her luck, it just so happens that she's heading south too. Any amount of help traversing the Everfree was always needed. After the Great Escape, the forest became much worse than before and the only way to cross it was with others. Seeing as nobody went south anymore, this was a once in a life time deal. She hoped that they haven't left yet.

=================

The group of men loaded their weapons for another round. The announcer said it was going to be the 'Natural Selection' round. Basically one species verses another, it was the most loved of all round mutators. The crowd used it as a way of proving who was the best on the planet. For five games now the ponies were crowned the winners. Even though there was no official score on which species won, the fans were more than willing to come up with ways to keep track themselves.

Today was the day that the ponies were going to be knocked off their throne. Carlton's Raiders had a nice upgrade streak going. They got the 'SMG amplifier' and 'Meatbag' going for them, unfortunately they didn't know what the ponies had and they also had the 'Sticky Fingers' which made reloading a bitch.

The flood gates had just begun to open. The roar of the crowds greeted the Raiders. They ran out in groups of two. Making sure nobody died by Hail Maries, or any other type of mortar fire. A steady flow of sniper fire flew by the humans. One raised his head above cover to see if the ponies were advancing yet. Nothing. Magnum saw a pony sniper lock onto the newbie. He jumped to pull the man down, but he was too late.

"GET ME SOME HAIL MARIES GOIN' RIGHT NOW!" He screamed on his communicator. He saw across the field the human mortar team moving into range of the pony home base. He began towards them to cover them. Before he moved out of cover he took out a piece of mirror and lifed it above his head. He saw three ponies moving on the mortar team just before a bullet took the mirror out of his hand. Definately Corkscrew. I'm gonna hate killing him.

He ran from car to car. Making sure not to stick any part of his head out in the open. He decided to take a quick look at the crowd. They were going crazy, but thanks to the sound proof dome he could hardly hear any of it. All this sacrifice and he couldn't even hear his own fans scream his name.

Suddenly a large mortar round came flying over head. It landed a few meters away from Magnum. He screamed for a medic just before he blacked out. He looked up to see the fans still screaming.

=================

Rainbow Dash had to get some buisness in order.

"You needed to see me Sherif?" Carmel asked.

"Yes, Deputy. You have served Ponyville well these past few years. You've kept the streets clean and you yourself have a clean record. I'm gonna be going away for a bit and we need someone to keep the order while I'm off. There's no real way to say it so, congrats Sherif."

"OH boy! Thank you Sherif, I mean Rainbow Dash! I wont let you down!" She hoped she wouldn't. With her luck no bandits would attack anytime soon. But just for the sake of things she give Gilda a call on a favor. She then headed out for the Inn.

Rainbow Dash walked into the Inn. It was empty. "Rarity!" she yelled. No answer. "Hello!? Anybody?" Sweetie Belle then walked from behind the counter.

"Oh, hey Rainbow Dash."

"Hey, Sweetie Belle, where's Rarity?

"She went to the bank for something. Do you need me to get you anything?"

"I'm fine, thank you."

"Are you sure you're not thirsty?"

"I'm fine, really. Anyways have you seen these two guys, one's really buff and the other's wearin' some old Crimson gear."

"Uh, yeah! Actually. They left a while ago, though."

Shit!

"Did they head south?"

"Yeah."

"How long ago?"

"About an hour or so."

"Good. Thanks for the info. Here," She tossed a coin at the counter. "All yours."

"Thanks!" Rainbow Dash hurried out of the Inn. She ran south. She got tired very quick, she wasn't as conditioned as she once was. Of all the times she could have used her wings...

=================

Mordecai was stocking up at the general store. He blew through a ton of ammo during that firefight at the castle. He had a couple SMG magazines left, about ten rifle bullets, and two clips for his pistol. He used up all the pay he got from the rescue to get more ammo. He was seeing a lot of looting in his near future. Lilth was also short on cash. Instead of ammo, though, she bought a car with her remaining cash.

"You know we're gonna use our guns more than a car, right?"

"I got enough ammo. Besides, we'll come across some cash eventually.

"You're pretty optimistic. What's making you so sure that anything will go right?"

"I just got a gut feeling, and we do need a car. I ain't walkin' across this damn planet."

"Alright, let's go find Twilight." The two left the store. Lilth went around to get the buggy, Mordecai went towards the marketplace.

=================

Roland sat by the fire. He was shocked at how cold it got here. It was supposed to be hotter down south than north, right? He looked over to Brick. He didn't shiver, he hardly even moved. Sometiime he wondered if he was a robot or something like that. While he was pondering whether or not his companion was metalic, Roland heard feet, or maybe hooves, in the distance. He readied his weapon.

A cyan pegasus walked towards the camp. "Easy now, stanger." The pony said. Roland lowered his rifle, she seemed friendly enough. Rainbow got a better look of the strangers. "So, you're the Vault Hunters of Pandora?"

"Yeah, how'd ya know."

"I heard you guys were heading south, into the Everfree."

"Yeah, what's the big fuss? Everybody seems to be going crazy over it."

"Nobody goes south anymore, and there's a reason."

"That being..."

"The Everfree's the deadlist place on possibly ALL of Equestria."

"Equestria?"

"E, this planet."

"Oh, okay. Go on."

"I have some... buisness, to complete down there, and seeing as I couldn't go alone, I could use your help."

Roland took a sigh, "Listen, I'm gonna tell you what I told everybody else who wanted to join us. No free rides. You want our help, you gotta: a, pay us; b, provide your own form of protection; and c, don't get in our way."

"Deal, deal, and deal." She pulled out a bag of bits. "Will this do?" She threw it to Roland, it felt heavy enough.

"Sure. Grab a seat. By the way, what's ya name?"

"Rainbow Dash." Rainbow Dash then found a nice, warm spot by the fire and went to sleep on her stomach. Roland eyed her. He couldn't help but notice those bandages all around the pony's back. If she was handicapped, this could become a problem. In the distance he heard some skaggs howl. Probably wares. Oh well. There goes sleeping for tonight.

Roland saw the sun rise above the side of the hill. It was a nice sight to end his night shift. He looked over to Brick, he just stared at the fire. He looked over the the pony, it was asleep. He walked over to it and quickly nudged it awake. Rainbow Dash quickly rolled over and aimed he gun towards the man. He put his hands up.

"Easy now. I'm the guy you paid to keep you safe, remember?" She lowered he gun.

"Sorry, can't help but be a little jumpy around here."

"I understand, just... calm down a little."

"Okay, let's get going." The put out the fire and packed up what little they had. After an hour or so of walking they saw a town at the end of the road.

"Something doesn't seem right," Roland began, "Look, see? No guards." The town outskirts didn't have anything standing post. Even in Ponyville, there was at least one person keeping watch every now and then. The group then heard an engine turn on. They turned to the sound to see a crudely painted purple and white Crimson Lance buggy with matching purple and white bandits in Crimson Lance gear.

The main bandit cocked his weapon. "There's a tax here, strangers. Everybody's gotta pay it." Roland observed two more buggies roll up beside the original buggy.

"What's the tax?" Roland asked.

"What's in the bag?" The bandit asked back. Roland looked to Rainbow, she nodded her head. Roland threw the bag to the bandits. The main bandit opened the bag and rumaged through it. He nodded his head.

"Alright, let 'em in."

"What if we don't want to go to town? Do we get our stuff back?"

"Nope." The three walked towards the town.

Just before the buggies left the main bandit said with an evil grin on his face, "By the way, welcome to Bruiserville. Enjoy your stay."