Epilogue - Doubly Mared
“...at the prospect of being doubly mared.”
The words were her own; she had uttered them, but in the time it took for them to escape her lips and reach her ears, she found herself in another place. There was light - constantly churning light, and a warm wetness around her. As if still coated in embryonic fluid, she thrashed one leg, and then another.
Two...three...four. They were all there.
Her heart had stopped, but she hadn’t noticed until the beat began again, rhythmically throbbing in her plugged ears. The experience was jarring beyond description - a moment in one place, and the next in another, with a sensation as though she was just about to be birthed upon the world.
She gazed at the breaking of the water’s surface. From heaven above came a single hoof; purple, like color of the sky at the time of day she was named for. It beckoned to her, and she knew instinctively to take it. Her hind hooves found purchase upon a submerged crag, and she kicked off of it, using the momentum to assist her rescuer’s kindness. The pregnant water that held her broke, and she drank deeply of the still, yet succulent cavern air her lungs required. Before her, at the water’s edge, stood a mare that was herself.
“Are you okay?” The other asked.
She shook herself off in the manner of dogs, spraying water in all directions around her, and slapped her tail wetly against her rump to free the follicles. “I...think so? Aside from being all wet I feel fine, but, this is…”
She scanned the room. Eleven ponies looked on, and in an instant she understood how at least five of them felt. She tried again to put her feelings into words.
“This is just...well...one moment I was standing there-” she pointed at her doppleganger, dry save for the hoof she had used to pull her from the water, “-and now I’m here.” She glanced out at the warm stillness of the Mirror Pool, feeling very much a child in her ignorance. “All this time I thought I would be creating another me. But now I am that me. The perspective is...hard to get used to.”
Nods were traded around the chamber by the others who had been plucked one-by-one from the water before her. They were each wrapped in a warm towel that matched their mane colors.
“It’s because you’re Twilight Sparkle,” the dry alicorn said to the soaked one, whilst levitating another towel over to wrap about her. “And so am I. A few seconds ago we were just one being. It’s amazing really - how perfect the copying process is.”
“I know, right?” the copied Twilight grinned. “I knew what the Mirror Pool could do, but I didn’t know it was that good at it, until now! Can you imagine the research paper we could write?”
“Are you kidding? With both of us working together,” the dry Twilight replied giddily, “we could redefine the entire concept of a research paper!”
“Spike! Write this down please!” Both Twilights called in unison, the pitch of their voices matching in perfect stereo.
Spike, the only one of his friends bereft of a copy of himself, sat swinging his legs from a rock formation. “Ohhhh no, uh-uh. I can barely keep up with one Twilight Sparkle when she gets the urge to science everything to death. Two is just not happening, nope!”
“Besides, Sugarcube,” the Applejack wrapped in a yellow towel added, “y’all know we can’t stay here.” She glanced at her twin, who glanced back in exactly the same posture. “We all agreed to this already, though I gotta say that it’s a lot stranger-feelin’ then I thought it’d be.”
The dry Applejack, who was without a hat, smiled wanly at her double. “Y’all just take care of that hat, y’hear? It came from our pappy and it’s a family heirloom.”
Copy-Applejack smirked. “No sense tryin’ t’fool me, me. You know as well as I do that Rarity bought this here hat for us in Manehattan after we went an’ tore up the old one fixin’ the park. And that one just ended up in the garbage can.”
Dry Rarity touched a hoof to her lips. “Oh my, I hadn’t thought of that...did I throw away your father’s hat, dear? I-I’m so sorry!”
The original Applejack scratched the back of her neck sheepishly. “Naw, guess my double’s got me there. It ain’t no heirloom. Just my hat, and I sure do like wearing ‘em.”
The other Applejack glanced up at the brim of the hat. “Yeah but...I know better’n anypony what this hat means to you, even if you can replace it anywheres. So...thank you.”
“O-oh! I almost forgot!” Fluttershy, the one without a pink towel wrapped cozily around her, perked up. She retrieved a small bag and rummaged through it, but her copy beat her to the punch.
“You don’t have to give me your winter boots, Fluttershy. It’s very sweet, but your hooves will get cold without them!” She shivered in spite of her towel. “Believe me, I know!”
“Huh?” The Fluttershy with her head in the bag tried in vain to lift it, and ended up speaking from the inside. “How did you know I was going to give you my boots?”
“O-oh, well...because we had the idea when we were still just one pony, I guess?”
Fluttershy the dry pulled her head out of the bag, two boots dangling in her teeth. She set them down and retrieved the others. “Well, then you know that I want you to have them, because Twilight said time is moving a little faster where you’re going. It must be very cold there, and I just couldn’t live with myself if I sent, uh...myself...off...to get her hooves cold!”
The original Rarity intruded into the conversation: “And I couldn’t possibly live with myself if I didn’t ensure that my counterpart had all the trimmings to make a fabulous splash upon the world!” She glanced at the five gilded steamer trunks that unicorn magic had been required to transport, and then at her copy. “This should be enough to get you started at least, don’t you think?”
“Dear me,” the damp Rarity replied, “I should say it will have to do! Thank you so much darling. You really are the spirit of generosity!”
“As are you, dear!”
The Rarities giggled, but dry Twilight shook her head.
“I’m sorry girls, but she can’t take all of that with her.”
The Rarities both looked crestfallen. The dry one spoke first: “Whyever not, Twilight? These are the very barest essentials!”
“Indeed!” the other Rarity added. “You’ve no idea what a monumental effort it was to dum it down this much. Not to mention the effort of hauling it here all by my--erm--ourselves!”
Twilight looked apologetic. “I know, and I’m sorry, but mass is a universal constant. Because none of the six of you--us--whatever exist in that other world, but we’re supposed to, then adding you and some other cursory items, such as articles of clothing, is no problem. But for every ounce of matter you add--”
The other Twilight took over, “--for every ounce of matter you add, the universe gets heavier by the same amount. It’s like filling a balloon with too much air.”
Both Rarities blinked. One shared the thoughts of both, “Are you saying that my ensembles and accoutrements could make the entire universe explode?”
“Well,” copied Twilight continued, “It’s not that the entire universe would just explode. But over time, the resulting stress could do smaller scale things, like rip planets apart or cause stars to go nova.”
The Rarities shared a gaping stare. One addressed the other.
“D-darling...forgive me, but...do you think perhaps you might be able to survive, erm...without…?”
The copied Rarity cleared her throat. “I think, perhaps...for the sake of the entire universe, I might be agreeable to that suggestion.”
Original Twilight smiled. “Don’t worry. That other universe is just about an exact copy of our own. I’m sure you’ll find everything at the Carousel Boutique just the way you left it.”
Around the ceiling of the cavern, two Rainbow Dashes were flying around in circles, testing one another’s reflexes. The one who still had a green towel draped around her neck let out a breath. “Tch, there’s no way that universe is gonna be the same as this place. Not until I’m there, anyway!”
“You’re totally gonna make it twenty percent cooler there!” toweless Rainbow Dash agreed as she threaded her way through a natural obstacle course of stalactites. “But Twilight’s right. There’s no universe out there that could handle the awesomesauce from two Rainbow Dashes! We’d make all kinds of stuff explode!”
“So we’re all in agreement then,” Original Twilight glanced reassuringly at her double. “We’re all...comfortable with this still?”
Every pony pair glanced at one another. The experience was beyond bizarre, and for a time they each studied one another, contemplating the implications of being in the presence of their exact physical, mental, and emotional double. Finally, the diminutive voice of the Fluttershy who had only just begun to exist broke the silence.
“I-I’m nervous about the whole thing, but...if this other world is just like ours, then it has critters in it.” Her gaze passed around the room to the other ponies wearing towels. “I won’t abandon them, and with all of you at my side, well...I-I can do anything. I know I can.”
Copy-Rarity went to Fluttershy’s side and affectionately touched her withers. “We’re going to be safeguarding the lives of thousands of ponies in a brand new universe. It’s going to be fabulous, you’ll see. And I certainly can’t let that world go on without my couture touch!”
Copy-Applejack stood by the pair, laughing gently. “I can’t very well let Big McIntosh and Apple Bloom handle the farm all by themselves! Y’all better believe I’m in.”
Both Rainbow Dashes came in for a landing. The newer one of the pair fell in with her fellows in a true show of solidarity. “And I can’t let somepony take my spot in the Wonderbolts! Every Equestria needs a Rainbow Dash!”
Copied Twilight glanced at the mouth of the cave that hung above them all. “It’s kind of ironic. We all swore we’d make sure nopony ever came down here again, because of all the trouble this place could potentially cause. And yet here we are, turning to this place for help.”
“It was a brilliant idea Twi, makin’ copies of ourselves in the Mirror Pool to send over to that other dimension,” one of the Applejacks quipped, “but then, your ideas usually are.”
Original Twilight dug her hoof into the soft silt of the cave floor, watching the rut she was making as it formed. “I guess so, but...sending you all away…”
The new Twilight pulled her towel tighter and came in close, softly nuzzling her progenitor’s cheek. “It’s going to be okay, Twilight. We’ll have lives just as wonderful as yours, and I promise we’ll stay in touch.” She glanced towards the far wall. “We will, won’t we?”
Discord, who was showing his boredom through the transformation of his body to a stone sculpture built into the wall, rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, yes. Interdimensional Pony Express and all that. I suppose it’s the least I can do for my own role in all this. But I expect regular updates from the two princesses of geekery as to when they’ll be finished coming up with some contraption that will allow them to do it all themselves!”
“Um, hey everypony,” a familiar, but uncharacteristically solemn voice cut in. “I...have some things I want to say.”
All eyes turned to the Pinkie Pie pair, who had both been strangely silent. They were the only two without a perfect memory of the other’s experiences up until the last few minutes, and as a result they were the most different from one another. The copied Pinkie, having no need for a towel, instead wore the gray fedora she had been hiding under since the day she had almost been discovered in Manehattan years before. It was this copy who addressed the crowd, and she moved towards the group with words on her lips. Her hair, and her tone, were back to something with which the others were familiar.
“I, uh...I know you probably all forgave me already, because you’re all the most bestest friends a pony could ever have with whipped cream and cherries on top, but...I wanna say how sorry I am again, for all this. I don’t know what I was thinking, I...I was just upset.”
The original Pinkie Pie came up behind her copy, all smiles and merriment, and stroked the copy’s poofy mane. “Aw, it’s okay. You know we forgive like everypony who tries to boom all over the world, and you also what happens to you and me when our manes get all deflate-y!” She spun a hoof over her temple and stuck out her tongue. “We get craaaaaaay craaaaaaay…! I don’t even know how you could stand not being me for so long, me!”
“And she won’t have to do that, ever again,” Original Twilight smiled. She approached the copied Pinkie Pie, the one who had tormented her, and took in a breath. “That other world is going to need you...all of you. You can be the Pinkie Pie you always wanted to be, there.” She exhaled sharply and her ears sagged. “I...knowing what I know now, Pinkie...how perfect the Mirror Pool’s copying magic is...I’m not sure I can forgive myself for what I did to all the others…i-if I could only just--”
The copied Pinkie touched her hoof to Twilight’s lips, silencing her. She slipped the hoof under the princess’s chin and lifted it up, forcing eye contact, and then reached down to tap Twilight’s chest.
“You didn’t know, Twilight,” Pinkie replied. “I was mad, because I thought you had done it all on purpose, and that you had just moved on without caring about any of it. But it’s over now, and it can’t be changed--”
“Actually,” the copied Twilight interrupted, “we could go back in time and--ow!”
Copied Rainbow Dash nudged copied Twilight in the ribs. “Hush. Wrong time, and baaaaaaad idea.”
Pinkie went on. “--it can’t be changed, so I can choose to either hate you forever, or forgive you. It’s enough for me to know that you’ll always remember them now, in here-” she tapped Twilight’s heart, “-and it’s kinda funny, really. Every time you made one of them go poof, I can’t explain it, but...I felt enriched somehow. Like there was more of me - like I was becoming more real.”
Fluttershy tilted her head in confusion. “What...what does that mean?”
Discord, floating above now, was sporting a mortarboard, horn-rimmed glasses, and a bit of chalk in his paw. “Honestly. Geekhorse is here times two, and yet I really have to explain everything again? Oh very well.”
With that, the draconequus began scribbling on the ceiling. He moved with a speed the ponies could scarce follow, and soon the ceiling of the cavern was absolutely covered in doodles and caricatures of no consequence. Discord went on the entire time, firing off a series of astrophysics, quantum physics, and metaphysical terminology in such a confused jumble that both Twilights were quite certain that Discord was either secretly the most brilliant creature to ever live, or he was just blowing smoke up everypony’s rump.
“So you see,” Discord summed up, “If you make more than one copy of the same pony, you’re still generating a Mirror Pool-infused being of the exact same kind. Destroy one, and its essence will combine with whatever of its ‘siblings’ remain, rather than simply evaporating back into the pool. Unless there’s only one copy left, of course.”
Copied Twilight scrunched her muzzle. “Discord, are you sure that’s how that works? Any scientist worth her salt would want to review your findings before accepting such a...convenient theory.”
Discord gestured to the ceiling. “The evidence is right before you!”
“Those are just a hundred and fifty pictures of all of us looking ridiculous,” Twilight muttered.
“Quite!” Discord agreed. He swooped down upon both Twilights, looming over them with a wink that he made sure only they could see. “Can you prove me wrong? Maybe we’d better leave some theories where they lie, hmm?”
“S-so then,” one of the Applejacks mused, “...they ain’t...really dead? Or, gone, or...whatever happened to ‘em?”
“You heard it right from the horse’s mouth,” Discord replied as he went to loiter around the copied Pinkie. “The goo that makes up the Mirror Pool wants to be whatever you make it. Why go back to being non-sapient protoplasm when you can graft yourself upon, well...yourself?”
Copied Pinkie gaped. “Wait, so I’m like...super duper Pinkie Pie!?”
Discord shrugged. “The world may never know! Well, our world won’t.” He jammed a talon into thin air and tore open a rift, beyond which rested a peaceful image of Ponyville. “This one, however, just might.”
Twilight’s copy brought the conversation to bear. “Girls, we shouldn’t stay here any longer than we have to. Every minute we delay could be a threat to this world, given there are too many Elements of Harmony here now.”
Copied Rarity touched her eye to check for running mascara. “You know...I didn’t realize how difficult this would really be. I feel like I’m saying goodbye to everypony and everything I’ve ever known--” she looked to the other copies, “--but I’m really not saying goodbye to anything, because you’re all coming with me and all of our friends and family will be right there waiting for us.”
“Like you never left,” Discord confirmed.
Spike hopped off his rock and trotted over to the two Twilights. “I...I’m gonna be there, right?”
Copied Twilight smiled warmly. “You’d better be, Spike. I can’t do anything without you by my side.”
“W-wait a sec then--” Spike trotted over to a bag of his own, rummaged around in it, and returned to the princess-pair with a folded periwinkle bundle in his arms. “Your Spike probably already has one of these for you but, uh...back when I made that scarf for you, both of you, I...sorta screwed up once. So I started over.” He unfolded the scarf, which was just about as crude as the one both Twilights were already familiar with. “It seemed like a waste to just throw it away, so...here.”
Copied Twilight shed her towel and dipped her head to allow Spike to drape the garment around her neck. She levitated one end of it and touched the fabric to her muzzle, just to take a whiff of the familiar scent of dragon she knew would be there. “Thank you Spike. I’ll treasure it always.”
“Well, I may look like an oak, but I’m positively bawling on the inside!” Discord declared, whereupon he made himself transparent just long enough to reveal a tiny copy of himself within his own body, crying like a baby. “See? Now then-” he was once again dressed like an aviator, “no sense in long goodbyes when a bunch of realities are at stake!”
The Elements of Harmony and their copies exchanged final words, tips for one another, and tender embraces. The original Applejack approached the progenitor Twilight and nudged her gently in the ribs.
“Maybe Granny ain’t so right about less and less folks bein’ in your life the older you get. Still feel the same way about the reverse of a ripple?”
Twilight recalled the conversation from her dear friend’s birthday party. “No...I don’t think I do. Maybe there won’t be as many ponies that are close to us in our lives the older we get, but that doesn’t mean we stop enriching the lives of others…” she nodded at the portal, “...and it doesn’t mean there won’t be more. It’s best to just imagine where you’ll be tomorrow and move towards that, instead of worrying yourself gray before your time.”
“There’s the ticket,” Applejack smiled. “Got a whole barrel of cider left that ain’t nopony touched, y’know. Granny always sets aside one barrel of the good stuff as her present to me each year. Sure would be honored if all y’all would come and share a nip.”
The other Applejack’s grin was just as merry. “I get the feelin’ that while you’re all doin’ that, the rest of us will be doin’ the exact same thing. Ain’t nothin’ warms you up like a good mug of cider, and granny would never open my special barrel without me, eh heh.”
The copied ponies, ushered by Discord, began to disappear into their new homeland. One by one they offered final words:
“Thank you for the boots Fluttershy,” Fluttershy said softly. “I-I’ll cherish them always. A-and Happy Hearth’s Warming, everypony!”
“Don’t think we’re done picking a winner just because there’s a dimension between us, Rainbow Dash!” Dash grinned. “If we’re gonna be pen pals, you better believe I’ll be comparing speed records!”
“Oh my, I left the makeup case open again!” Rarity quipped. “Don’t let Sweetie Belle get into it, Rarity! Oh, well...of course we were the same pony when we did that so I’m sure you just remembered it too but...so confusing! Au revoir, darling!”
“Dash ain’t the only one that’s gonna keep a pony on their hooves, Applejack!” Applejack called. “I’ll buck twice as many apples as you next harvest season, so you better be ready!”
“Goodbye, Twilight,” Twilight said simply. “This is all so surreal, but...I just know that both our worlds are going to be the better for it. Keep in touch - I bet the two of us are going to need each other from time to time. And I know you know this already, but...don’t forget to always turn to your friends when you need help.”
The two Pinkie Pies stood face to face. They grinned mutually, and in a flourish of Pinkie-impossibility, spun around together in such force that none of the other ponies could figure out what they were doing. When they finished, they were again standing side by side. They shared a little giggle, and one of them bounced merrily through the portal.
“Bye-bye, Everypony! Super duper Pinkie Pie won’t forget your birthdays!”
Discord snapped his fingers, and reality once again harbored but one of each Element of Harmony. Applejack blinked at Pinkie.
“Holllld the farm just a minute. What was all that do-si-doin’ just now? I couldn’t even keep track of y’all.”
“Well,” Rarity mused, “the one that went through the portal was wearing the fedora. A sharp looking accessory it is, I might add…”
Pinkie giggled again. “Aw guys, come on! I wouldn’t do something like that! ….or would I?” Her giggle became a silly cackle, and the assemblage rolled their eyes in unison.
“It...doesn’t really matter, does it?” Fluttershy asked Twilight. “Which one of us is where, I mean.”
Twilight sighed. “I don’t know. And you know what?” She peered around at all her friends. “I don’t want to think about it right now. Let’s go open that barrel of cider and...just be together, today. Okay?”
One by one, the friends filed out into the light of an early winter afternoon. Discord gave no chase, until the pegasus of kindness, who was bringing up the rear, turned to beckon him.
“I’m sure there’s a few mugs with your name on them,” Fluttershy commented. “It would be a shame if they went to waste.”
Like a bridge over two realities, a dozen ponies, one dragon, and one draconequus, spent a brisk afternoon engaged in revelry, song, and the making of memories that would last them all a lifetime. The population of each of their worlds was just as it should have been.
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Nice conclusion, I really enjoyed reading Twilight emerge from the Mirror Pool.
That actually was a very elegant solution to the problem.
Aww, it's already over? It still has the incomplete tag, so I'm hoping for some bonus chapters.
Hm no complete tag?
A great ending to an epic story. I should get to reading whatever else you have up... Sometime... Maybe... Possibly...
...Or I could just disappear into the void... Almost like I've never existed to read this in the first place...
So... The end... Or is it?
On a side note... The clones, or clones in general, when would their birthdays be? Technically it would be the day they were cloned into existence, but biologically, and as their memory tells them, their birthday would be on the day the original was born.
Also... What are the chances of a sequel happening? I'm guessing that one possibility for one would be that the alternate world’s ponies would have no memory of the element bearers, so they (the Mane six clones) would struggle having to find a place in a world of which that nopony knows they are supposed to exist in.
Bravo! That was an absolute joy to read and captivated me the whole way through, one of my favorite reads in weeks!
8653102
It would be interesting to see a world where nopony knows their names at that.
So, Discord doesn't even have to say he's sorry?
For weeks of mental torture?
Where he gleefully watched Twilight almost lose herself to madness out of sheer grief?
Sorry, no. Not buying it.
In a way, it's a problem with the excellent quality of this story. You made Twilight's torture and anguish so vivid that the ending here feels... flippant. It doesn't help that you wrote Discord like an utter *sshole the entire time. Him just getting off without even a hint of anger directed at him makes light of everything that happened before. Even Starlight didn't hurt Twilight to this extent, and that one at least said she was sorry. I want to like this story so much, but it feels like the ending became a punchline to a long, particularly cruel joke. And I know forgiveness is a core of the show, but so is understanding and admitting you did something wrong.
They didn't just do something wrong. They did something terrible. But it's Discord, so it's okay. Apparently.
I'm still giving this a like. It's that good. Just not that detail. That one, giant detail.
8653116
One dragon because other-world Spike isn't there at present, and doesn't know they're all going off to have a barrel of cider together
8652942
8652967
It's over. Remembering to hit that complete tag is tough when you've been releasing for eight weeks, sorry
8653406
Proofreads, my friend, proofreads. Even the pros don't catch everything.
8653102
My assumption would be that they think of their birthdays as the same as Pinkie's, since per this story at least, they all are Pinkie, for all intents and purposes. As for a sequel, I have considered what I would do for something like that. It might be dastardly. But I wouldn't expect it anytime soon, as I've got a bit commission queue that's been sitting for far too long. This was a pleasure to write though
8653290
I'm glad you had a good time, thanks for reading!
8653556
Hmm. Well, I will say that while writing it, I was a bit concerned that Pinkie was going too far - too much reaction for the slight placed against her. I have that issue with Starlight Glimmer and Tempest Shadow, but then, neither of them felt that they were in danger for their lives, so that's what kept me going on here. As to the comment...well I do see what you're saying, but I'm thinking maybe we have different interpretations of the show content. To me, Discord has a proven track record of putting ponies through considerable mental and physical anguish just to either get his point across or satisfy his (sometimes very childish) whims, even after he turned away from blatant evil (and notwithstanding the debacle with Tirek). He also has a lot of trouble knowing when enough is enough - in this case, he knew from the beginning that nopony was actually being harmed, so I could very much see him doing something like this, and not considering just how badly he may have mentally scarred somebody in the process. He thought Twilight was wrong, and we can reasonably assume he would take a chance to 'teach her a lesson' if he otherwise felt, at least in his own perspective, that nobody would be the worse for wear otherwise. He mentions in the story that he wasn't intending for an oscillating universe to be created, and that he had every intention of pulling the plug and getting her out of there before it came to her death. I'll grant that he may have gone too far with his dismissal of Pinkie when she didn't want to come back, but again - he may not be a 'villain' anymore, but he's not necessarily a heart of gold hero, either, in the face of somebody who no longer wants his help. That, or maybe he thought of it as a mercy killing - there would still be a Pinkie Pie, and the copy, he knew, would have had to continue on with an unbearable lifestyle. Discord may be timeless and incredibly powerful, but in terms of empathy, he's not much more than an infant who is only recently learning about the concept of restraint. He almost killed Spike and Big Mac, and banished Tree Hugger to another dimension, just because he was throwing a tantrum, after all. That's my take on the character, anyway.
I would also argue that what Starlight did was indeed worse. She and Pinkie both had intentions to unmake reality, so we can't really differentiate there. They both saw the error of their ways and sued for forgiveness, also. Starlight was at least actually in a position to get away with what she was doing, whilst Pinkie was just lashing out, and being duped into thinking she was accomplishing something the entire time. Granted she didn't know that as she was making it happen, but I'm not sure where else to draw a deviation from what the two intended.
I can see there being some sort of penance for Discord to suffer as a result of all of this. But that wasn't really a focal point of the story, so I didn't include it here. It's more of a 'reader, draw your own conclusion' thing. But then...yes, forgiveness is indeed at the core of the show. Forgiveness for things even more heinous than this.
I appreciate the commentary. I like hearing the reasons behind why somebody did or did not like/agree/etc with something
8653932
My problem is less with him doing it in the first place—though admittedly, it was monstrous—than with nobody reacting.
Hey look, he pushed Twilight into a deep dark pit of hopelessness, despair and grief! She only stopped crying because there were no tears left! She felt like she failed everyone she ever cared for! Hah hah, good old Discord, what a jokester!
You see, when Discord acts like a jerk in the show, even after his redemption, they let him know their displeasure. Every instance you mentioned saw the other characters react to his jerkass behaviour.
So why on God's green Earth is nobody saying anything about how he mentally broke Twilight? And relished doing it? Shouldn't her friends be furious? Shouldn't they be disappointed? Shouldn't at least Fluttershy say something about him torturing her best friend for weeks on end?
Something? Anything?
An excellent take on that Star Trek episode.
No, not the TOS one with the gotees, the TNG one where Westley impressively screwed everything up.
8654030
That's exactly the problem I had! I'm fine with characters being jerks, as long as the show they're in acknowledges that their jerks.
8653398
I just can imagine something where Applejack and Rarity would be forced to sit on the sidelines as their respective little sisters go about, not being able to talk to them as anything more than a stranger, as they (Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle) don't know that the strange pony really is their sister.
Not to mention the chaos that would be caused when a new and strange alicorn (Twilight) would appear, nopony even knowing that a princess of friendship is a thing. Not to mention who or what has caused everypony to forget... and if everypony has forgotten. The more I think about this, the better of an idea this sounds. That said–
8653932
Go ahead and use this if you wish. I'm certain that you could take this further than I ever would. If you won't that is fine, but I must ask of you to give permission to some writer who might.
Nicely done! A grand addaption of the original source.
8654585 This story suffers from one issue common to many fanfics... and even professional works of all sorts: the characters seem to exist only to serve the plot, not make the story come to life. They don't act like people, they act like puppets responding as required to reach the endpoint desired.
It's even more glaring here because this scenario is based off a well-known Star Trek: TNG episode which handled the notion more subtly and with less blame to go around, as it was merely an accident.
8654662
Where I planned to go with this, if there were to be any more, ties into something a bit on the dark side. I can't promise this story will be getting any more attention anytime soon though, as I've got a long trades/commish list that's got a number of folks on it who have been patiently waiting for a long time now, as well as a few other story ideas I want to explore (and some sequels to other things that have been waiting in the wings longer than this story has been around). But I do appreciate the input
8654783
Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for reading
8654250
I have considered messing with 'The TOS one with the goatees', as it is among my favorites from that era. :raritywink
8654030
Ah, I see what you're saying. I think I was of the impression that your comments focused on not believing that Discord would do something like this in the first place (which I believe he would, even after his 'redemption' in the show). I can see your point there and were the story to go on, addressing that would be of value. I didn't really dig into that because I felt that without more story it would have been a hasty thing to address, given that the focus of the story was the interaction between Twilight and Pinkie, with Discord sort of as a means to an end - focusing on him would have been something of a distraction given the length of the tale. But even I had some misgivings while writing it that everybody involved would be let off too easily (particularly Pinkie). I blamed the canon, and their propensity for forgiving everybody...even for things that shouldn't be so easily forgiven. It seems to take nothing more than a simple apology or a moment of clarity for them to do so (forgive and sweep everything under the rug) also, which might be a bit of my mindset here too. If it hadn't been for the way Starlight and Tempest 'got away' with things in the main story, well...
Anywho, I getcha. Thanks for the commentary
Well, I guess that worked out about as well as it could have.
8656612
Fair enough, so... What else is good that you have on here?
8660713
What else is...good? I'm not the right person to ask. If I felt it wasn't good, I wouldn't have published it in the first place
I write in many different genre for all audiences from everyone to mature, so I suppose it depends what you're looking for!
Without the Elements of Harmony, how will the copies beat the villains like Discord?
8660737
Mystery... Adventure... Thriller... Comedy... Anything that isn't strictly cheesey romance, or strictly plotless slice of Life.
I mean, romance being an element, a piece of the story is one thing, but when something is purely romance, it gets... Cheesey for a lack of a better word. Most anything soley romantic, protagonist A loves protagonist B just because. Or even worse– the romantic plot of... *shudders* Twilight.
I may be going a little far here, typing out a reinactment of Twilight just to convey why I don't quite care for romantics, and I am probably just wasting both of our time but... I guess the first paragraph says it all.
Mystery... Adventure... Thriller... Comedy... Anything that isn't strictly cheesey romance, or strictly plotless slice of Life.
8662360
Precisely. Fear that the alternate world Discord inadvertently created will be doomed without the Elements of Harmony is what prompts the decision to make copies of the Mane 6. Discord explains that he can't actually imbue copied ponies he creates with the power of the Elements, but for some reason, the Mirror Pool can. Even he doesn't know why it's able to do that, other than the explanation that since that's all the pool can do, it is better at such things than he is. Some of it is intentionally left for the reader to draw their own conclusions.
8663498
I prefer Twilight Sparkle to Sparkling Twilight myself, yes
I would argue that Slice of Life is not 'plotless' - just the plot is more subtle than it tends to be with other genre, and usually has to do with personal journeys or introspection for the characters involved. As I say, I write just about everything, sooo...I'm sure there's something in there for you. I hope so anyway!
This was pretty dark and quite creepy at places, but excellently written. Nice job.
8665479
I didn't mean plotless slice of Life as in “Slice of life is plotless”. My mistake. I meant “Slice of life without any plot in it.” That said, I will have a look sometime in a couple months. My internet craps out today, and I don't have enough money to buy more anytime soon, so... See you around!
8665479
Anyways, what I said about Romance being an element in a story applies to Slice of Life. I just didn't dislike Slice enough to go into a long detailed description on why... And there is no “Twilight” to use as an example.
...The vampire book/movie, not the pony...
On that note, I wonder what Twilight would think of Twilight? Or what if you inserted Twilight into Twilight? Or had the characters from Twilight meet Twilight?
Does Twilight Sparkle = Sparkling Twilight? Did they do that on purpose?
What is the meaning of all this?
8666838
You'll certainly never find that out from me
Though even if I was interested in the Twilight saga thing, I prefer homages to direct crossovers.
That was a bit... surreal and, honestly, rather existential. Not bad, but I do like how you wove the mystery about it. I was thinking this pony or that, but I was still a bit surprised! Great work!!
8685657
I'm glad you had a good time
This was absolutely great!
8689994
Glad you enjoyed it!
Loved it. TBH I hope this is what the mirror pool is like I'd love to test it my self with my self
This fanfic has been on my read-it-later list ever since it appeared in the new story feed, and now I wish I had read it sooner rather than later. I loved this story up until the epilogue, and then I merely liked it.
But first, the good. The prose is delightfully descriptive and creative. I especially enjoyed some of the lines in the first chapter, such as, "Upon one table was piled a trainwreck of black and purple cupcakes, done up in a montage of fondant and sugar to depict them as a crumbling haunted house filled with spooky imagery."
The characterizations are spot on . . . Except for the last chapter or two, but I'll get to that in a bit. Applejack is warm and has a poignant line or two, even in her brief scene, and Fluttershy is the embodiment of comfort. And faithful Spike is always ready to support his surrogate big sister/mother, even when he doesn't understand what's bothering her. Twilight's isolation and desperation are palpable as she loses her friends at an increasing pace.
The mystery, too, is very well done, and I get the sense that this was your main reason for writing this fanfic. There is foreshadowing from the very first exchange of dialog, and puzzle pieces are set up in each chapter. I had watched the TNG episode that inspired this story, but it's been several years since I've seen it. I should also mention that someone commented to me that he read a story (without mentioning the title) about one of Pinkie's doubles getting revenge on Twilight for destroying her sisters. And even after reading that comment, I didn't realize that this was the story he was talking about until I read the dream sequence with the drying paint and the ponies yelling, "Fun! Fun!" BTW, massive props for that dream sequence. Meaningful dreams usually bore me in literature, but this one managed to be both intriguing and informative - and that's even before Discord appeared.
And now for the not-so-good. Discord here behaved worse than he did in "What About Discord?" which is pretty awful. Hell, even in that episode he got a little bit of a comeuppance. In this story he creates an entire new universe that he's potentially dooming, just to teach Twilight a lesson. Even setting aside the emotional torture Twilight suffered, that's all kinds of wrong. Those ponies (and other individuals) were apparently as real as the ponies on the original Equus, and they would have been doomed to a cycle of mostly miserable existence if Twilight had not found a solution to keep that world in balance. This is not something a reformed former villain who understands friendship should do, and he should at least have to apologize.
Also, here's something I haven't seen anyone else mention: Pinkie is partly to blame for this fiasco. She's the one who copied herself without thinking through the consequences just so she could spend time with all of her friends that day. Granted, she didn't know that her copies would start making copies of themselves, but still, she's the one who started it all for the most frivolous of reasons.
Also also, if the original Equus would have been destroyed if Twilight hadn't gotten rid of the Pinkie duplicates, did she actually do the right thing? Was her real sin not feeling bad about destroying the Pinkie duplicates, as opposed to the act itself? Or should Twilight have tried harder to find an alternate solution, like sending them to alternate universes that contained no Pinkie Pies? Assuming she had time, of course.
Finally, after all of Twilight's anguish and torment, the emotional payoff at the end was . . . lacking. Like The Great Derpsby said, you did such a great job making us feel Twilight's pain and fear that it deserved an equal amount of joy and relief when she was reunited with her friends who had disappeared. I was hoping for a tearful reunion with a very confused Applejack and Spike and their other friends, and a frantic explanation of what Discord did, and the friends struggling to understand. Instead it's like, "Oh, the mystery's solved? Cool, let's save the mirror universe."
It seems like you were either in a rush to finish, or you were concerned that the readers would get bored with Twilight "rehashing" the story, or maybe a bit of both?
8817263
Well, glad you enjoyed it one way or another. If it helps by way of explanation, much of the reason for not going into hard emotional confrontations between the last chapter and the epilogue is that I feel it would have put the story onto a bit too much of a tangent. It was only intended to run for a set number of weeks over the holidays, with the goal of ending in a way an episode of the show might have - those of you who did wrong did indeed do wrong, but you understand the error of your ways and we have a way to solve this problem, so we're going to forgive you. It worked for worse villains doing worse things than this, so I figured it would work here. More could have been said, certainly, but this is just how it ended up playing out as an homage to the TNG episode it was based upon.
You did me the honor of a long and well thought out commentary, so I'll share some of where I was going with this, at least in my head at the time.
Discord's involvement was really intended as more of a means to an end - the vehicle by which Pinkie could hatch her plan. With regards to his behavior, bear in mind that when this all started, he was under the impression that he wasn't really doing any harm - the world he created was nothing but an illusion, and as he mentioned later in the story, his plan all along was simply to let Pinkie have some semblance of revenge in the form of teaching Twilight a lesson, and then he was going to pull the plug on the whole thing and return everybody safely home. As for his sitting idly by for several weeks and allowing Twilight to wallow in her own self-pity, well...I don't think he's above doing something like that. We already know he gets a major kick out of one-upping or otherwise messing with Twilight in particular whenever he can, and so long as he knew the plug would eventually be pulled, I could see him being entertained by all of this. None of the above takes into account the emotional distress he was causing Twilight, but let's be honest - Discord is even less than a neophyte when it comes to understanding friendship and emotions. I think it thus plausible that he would reason something like 'well, she's not going to die or be physically harmed, so it's okay'. Later on of course, his magic had unintended consequences, that of the creation of an alternate reality. He didn't know that would happen when this all started so he can't really be blamed for deliberately putting the denizens of the newly created world in harm's way, but his rather callous decision to abandon them further bespeaks of his poor understanding of the plight of others - in this case, he chose to protect what he felt could be protected, at the expense of what he felt could not be. He simply doesn't have a developed enough sense of empathy to consider these other beings as anything more than accidents, and his 'real' friends and 'real' world meant more to him. I definitely see the points folks are making as to his behavior being over the top in this story, but the above is my reasoning why I feel what he was up to here is still plausible for the type of character he is. He tries to be good, but...we know he's not very good at being good. Not yet anyway, and his understanding of 'goodness' is poor at best, which is going to cause him to make such decisions.
As for whether or not Twilight did the right thing, well...that *is* the question, isn't it? That point is one of the driving factors of the story, that caused copy-Pinkie to become consumed by the idea of teaching Twilight a lesson. That question was never answered, but it can't really be answered in anything more than the theoretical, since what happened already happened. All that could be done was personal decisions on the part of Twilight's friends, whether or not to accept it, or to condemn her. One Pinkie chose to condemn, until she realized what she intended to do was no real solution to the problem. Discord lied to her, yes, but he did so with the best of intentions - to dum her insane idea down into a slap on the fetlock.
Anyway, thanks for the thoughts, glad you had a good time, or so it would seem
8838633
I don't think that the emotional confrontations would have put the story on too much of a tangent, as long as they didn't go on longer than one chapter. However, I do understand the pros and cons of a self-imposed time limit. On one hand, it gives you more motivation to finish your story, but on the other hand, it often causes you to rush through some scenes.
That's a good point. Discord didn't intend to create an actual mirror universe with real creatures, but his magic was a lot stronger than he realized. However, the problem remains that he still didn't seem to feel bad about what happened even after her learned the full ramifications. I wish Twilight or Fluttershy could have made him feel sorry for what he did.
Yeah, I suppose you're right. It's still worse than anything he's done in the show post-reformation, but it's not completely OOC.
8839437
Sorry I kinda dropped off the face of the earth for a bit, heh. I was tied up with other writing ventures. Points made by both of us I think
So I still don't really understand how Discord was able to create perfect replicas of every creature except the Elements of Harmony? Even though at least most of them were there before they gradually disappeard? Unless those ones were just puppets. Puppets or not, will they not be there when the world reforms? And like, he could create the Tree of Harmony itself, but not the ponies who represented each of its elements? I loved the story, but the whole mechanics of the parallel dimension confuse me and I dunno if they make sense.
I do think Discord was completely in character and also maybe kinda justified (unless the poofed Pinkies didn't really die but just went to the final clone, but still). I didn't find myself angry or annoyed with him the way I am most of the time he appears in the show. He wasn't even doing it just as a cry for attention like he normally does. Good Discord writing imo.
So I still don't really understand how Discord was able to create perfect replicas of every creature except the Elements of Harmony? Even though at least most of them were there before they gradually disappeard? Unless those ones were just puppets. Puppets or not, will they not be there when the world reforms? And like, he could create the Tree of Harmony itself, but not the ponies who represented each of its elements? I loved the story, but the whole mechanics of the parallel dimension confuse me and I dunno if they make sense.
I do think Discord was completely in character and also maybe kinda justified (unless the poofed Pinkies didn't really die but just went to the final clone, but still). I didn't find myself angry or annoyed with him the way I am most of the time he appears in the show. He wasn't even doing it just as a cry for attention like he normally does. Good Discord writing imo.
9164190
There's been something of a difference of opinion as to whether or not Discord went too far in this story. I can respect the counterpoint, though I feel that this wasn't too far-fetched for him, given the circumstances. He had no intention of actually following through with the clone's mad plan - he just wanted to teach Twilight a lesson. And considering how many lessons Twilight and her friends have taught him, I could see him jumping at the chance. Plus, he's still not really an A+ 100% 'good guy'. He may think there's nothing wrong with what he did here, as a result of his rather skewed sense of ethics.
As for the mechanics, that's what a lot of the final chapter was about, attempting to tie all the loose ends up. Originally the copies he created weren't 'real', per se. It was a pocket dimension he created to play this little game with Twilight. Highly detailed, yes, but illusory all the same. It ended up getting out of hand unexpectedly for him at some point in the process however. The dimension he created became a reality in its own right - one he was willing to abandon because he cannot actually reproduce the Elements of Harmony, so by his reasoning it was better to leave that other reality to its own devices and bring Twilight home. To cut the losses, as it were. The Mirror Pool, as he explained, is only capable of one thing - but it does that one thing very, very well. Thus the mane 6 were able to save that other world, or at least give it a fighting chance, by copying themselves in the pool (and thus copying the elements) and sending them to be there.
It's...a bit brain hurting, yes
Oh.. oh wow. The therapy Twilight is gonna need...
Great story. Thanks for wrighting this😊
9658075
Always glad to hear when somebody enjoyed something of mine, thank you for reading!