• Member Since 30th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

desertbat


I'm an aspiring cartoonist and writer.

T

What if you had the opportunity to go to Equestria and realized, too late, that it wasn't what you dreamed of? That it was nothing more than an elaborate illusion? I have learned just what Equestria truly is.


The story is being written after season 7, but other characters from future seasons could appear as well.

Coverart is by Ziom05. You can see more of his amazing art here.


Now with its own group. Join here to get all the stories.

Chapters (14)
Comments ( 45 )

in all, it took to make an alternate Equestria by starlight glimmer one-time change of what we know this isn't that hard to see an Equestria we don't know hope he finds happiness eventually even if it be tough to work out...

It seems that things are getting interesting, I'll keep an eye on this.

Sorry m8, I got to the second chapter and I dropped it as soon as I saw that he turned into a pony, no disrespect, but I just don't like them types of stories. But, I will say that the story is coming along great, from just two chapters. Keep it going.

8544911
It's cool. I kind of wrote the first chapter to feel like it could end there just in case people didn't like where the plot was going. I hope the first chapter was at least satisfying for you and thanks for taking the time to read what you did.

If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?

8555840
Well, some of the story was inspired by Final Fantasy 12, so I kind of always imagined my main OC, Desert Bat, would sound like the main character, Vaan; well that or Raiden from MGS2 for some reason. As for Violet, don't really know. She was originally just going to be someone that sold my main character his pendant, but I liked writing her character that I wanted her to play a more prominent role, which she will later on. I would just say she sounds something like Kairi from kingdom hearts or Penelo from FF12. Hope that helps a little, sorry for not giving a direct straight answer; never thought that hard about it before.

Posey the name of Fluttershy's mother, isn't, stillt hsi may be Fluttershy reborned as a earth Pony.

Flap like you've never flapped before!

Comment posted by ferret deleted Nov 30th, 2017

"Also, from now on, only I'm aloud to call him that! Got it?"

You probably mean allowed.

Comment posted by TheRedButcher deleted Nov 28th, 2017

You're writing has improved a lot sense you started keep it up.

Happy ending or the possibility of some fucked up shit?

Hmm.........

Bring on the bloodshed! :flutterrage:

Yes! Emperor's new groove reference! So happy!

8610986<---------YEAH!!!!!! what he said!!!:flutterrage:

Yay! Update! Are you only going to use the canon changeling hive when we get to when the changelings are introduced? I ask because I don't know how you feel about oc hives.

8710888
A while back, when I wrote The Fallen Changeling, I had in mind that there would be two factions. Those that served the Changeling Queen and those that converted to the ways of Thorax. The Canon hive will be there, but I plan on having a separate area that the good ones live in too.

8711172
Ok, well I have an interesting changeling hive that you could use. If Thorax is the side that wants to co-exist with ponies then my hive would be allies with him. If you plan on being in places other then Equestria like the Zebra nation(s) or the Giffon nation(s), my hive could be used to connect them.

8711207
Thank you for the offer, but I don't know enough about this hive of yours and I already know how I'm moving with the project. You can submit some non-canon stories about it here. If I like it enough, and it fits with my vision for the story, I'll consider adding it to the canon of this story.

8711304
Ok, if you want I can PM you information about my hive and we can see what happens from there.

8761546
Thanks. I wanted to use that reference so bad in something, I’m glad it seemed to work well.

Time to adventure into the land of the Deer!

The picture for this story is a real head scratcher, who the bad guy, Sombra or the Zerg(?) ponies?

...You must construct additional chapters...

8889802
Don’t worry. You’ll find out who the other pony is eventually.

"You know, Discord," I said with relief," even though we're stuck like this, I'm just glad I'm not a meal for that creature."

"Same here, Dessie." He said, completely out of breath. ”Don't worry, by the way. We'll find a way out of this." Right when he finished saying that, the log we were tied to came out of the cliff and we fell to the bottom. Lucky for us the bottom was a flowing river, or so I thought. Discord was able to see what was coming up our way. "Oh no."

Those were the last words I wanted to hear at that moment. I signed internally and asked the obvious question. "Are we about to go over a waterfall?"

"Yep," he said nonchalantly.

No character in this universe is safe from Murphy’s Law. :trollestia:

By some sort of miracle, we not only made it down the waterfall unscathed, but the sharp rocks at the bottom broke the log we were tied to - freeing us. We managed to swim to the shallows, choking up water from almost drowning. Discord shook himself dry and I soon followed. Both of us were a hot mess, drenched, cold, and I lost my new saddle bag before I could use it, but we couldn't help but laugh about what just happened. "I must say, that was a traumatic experience; even for me." Discord said in a baffled tone.

They may have won this battle against Murphy’s Law, but the war never ends...

I’m curious about how Equestria’s weather is affected by all of this; is it still controlled by pegasi? Is it now entirely naturally occurring and completely uncontrollable, like on Earth? Or is it a combination of both? :unsuresweetie:

8982099
Actually, it is both. Most of Equestria’s weather is wild and uncontrollable like that of Earth but some of the pony colonies have teams to control their own weather. Hope that helped a bit.

8982213
It does help... and it gives me a few additional ideas for a non-canon story I have in the wings*!

*No pun intended regarding Desert’s species :twilightsheepish:

8679569
BRING ON THE BLOODSHED! LET IT BEGIN! LET IT BEGIN!!!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

Looking over this opening chapter again, I really like how it’s done.

The descriptions of appearances are enough to get a general idea of what they look like, but not large, super-detailed blocks of exposition (a lesson that didn’t really register with me until recent brainstorms :twilightblush:).

In later chapters, it looks like the narrator’s on the “from nobody to hero” path, but at the start of the story back on Earth... he’s just a guy.

He doesn’t embellish or even outright lie about himself, he’s simply a regular fellow looking for some positivity in his otherwise glum life*... and when this positivity comes in the form of another person, the encounter, realistically, is a little awkward more than once.

When his wish to go someplace happier does happen, he’s believably devastated when he discovers that the place in question is the opposite of how he imagined it being... but still accepts that it can’t become what he wished for with a snap of two fingers, and despite the risks, is willing to try helping fix the past mistakes that led to this Equestria being what it is.

*Which, admittedly, does strike a personal chord with me... I’ve been feeling like that a lot since earlier this summer.


... I’m surprised I typed all of that, since I normally can’t do an even decent analysis of a story if my life depended on it...


And on a far sillier and mostly unrelated note:

I had a few longer dreams where they went to a more colorful earth at times and an unrelated dream with an evil broken-horned unicorn, but they all came together in some way.

Tempest Shadow is pure unfiltered evil personified.

derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/1/6/1625625__safe_artist-colon-darkest-dash-lunar-dash-flower_fizzlepop+berrytwist_tempest+shadow_oc_oc-colon-fizzy+cream_my+little+pony-colon-+the+movie_s.png

She then began to whisper in Violet's ear, most likely thinking I wouldn’t hear her, but didn’t realize my bat pony ears could hear everything. What she said, I won’t repeat, but I can tell you I learned things bat ponies could do and it made both Violet and me blush immensely.

:rainbowlaugh: Some things are better left to the audience’s imagination.

9141338
I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. When I was writing it, I put my own personal feelings into Angelo at the time. Also, Violet was originally meant to be more of a one-time character that simply gave Angelo the pendant, but I ended up enjoying the character that I wrote her and Angelo to develop a kind of relationship like Kirito and Asuna from SAO.

This story has been really intreaging and I like how you have used the "new" charicters along with the "old" in a creative and effective mannor. Very impressive, and clearly skilled with your words. Looking forward for more.

Comment posted by CosmosGalen deleted Nov 14th, 2018
Comment posted by desertbat deleted Nov 14th, 2018

It's almost impossible not to see a fellow bat pony making Cuzco's "Bring it on" face there at the end... and that's just classic.

When will this be updated?

A peculiar illusion that it's not normal for adults to be sad, confused and afraid to face reality, or that appearing normal or being normal is a good thing

When will there be any new chapters?

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