I am a nice brony who likes ponies, animals, bed sheet ghosts, stories about comforting friends/family, humor, tragedy, some horror, clop fics, being silly or adorable. Have a good day.
After learning about mating in Health class, Apple Bloom is nervous about bring up the subject. But after talking to Applejack though and asking many questions, she gets a bit more than she expected. The results are both concerning and confusing
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This was nice.
Okay, not gonna lie - that was amazing. Some spelling and mild punctuation issues peppered through it, but that was... pretty damn good.
... Why is a fan fiction about ponies talking about sex education so cathartic for me right now?
Edit: I would drop the Fetish tag from this. There isn't really any kind of fetish going on as they don't really discuss that topic nor is there anything particularly explicit happening. Same goes for the Romance tag.
8686834
Thanks for commenting on my story. Additionally, thank you for the corrections. I went back and corrected everything. If I missed something, please let me know.
I was thinking of maybe doing a sequel to this, but I don't know. What do you think?
Please message me back if you can
8686953
It looks like virtually all typos were handled, and most of the punctuation stuff, though you gave yourself a new set of "punctuation" issues. I mostly skimmed it though since I already read it in it's entirety before. As far as a sequel goes, I dunno. It seems pretty solid as it stands currently. I don't think it'd hurt if you wanted to do a sequel, writing is always fun when you've got the inspiration and energy to do it and every bit of writing is practice.
The errors I found are as follows:
Ellipses don't need spaces before and after unless you're quoting something directly.
Example:
Ellipses don't need spaces [. . . ] unless you're quoting something directly.
If you're doing it as a spacer, you can just... leave it normally.
Little sister. Also "commented". And a comma after "go".
I think that last sentence could be safely tucked into the one before it also.
"A-Applejack? .... Do you promise not to be angry at me? ..." Apple Bloom asked as she wiped the tears from her eyes. Applejack's face softened as she saw how upset her sister was
Ending period is needed; don't need the ellipses after the question mark.
reprodictive = reproductive.
strocking = stroking.
8687027
Thank you for telling me what to fix. I took your suggestions and fixed the mistakes