My first submission, and a warm-up tale after over a year without writing. You might call this an epilogue to a longer story I have in mind (but may never get to!).
After Discord's 3rd defeat, the evil draconequus is locked in stone once more, and lusts for revenge. However, a certain brown Earth pony stallion decided it's about time somepony put an end to that on a more permanent basis.
The Discord in my ideas tends to be more to the sadistic side when he's a total villain, more like what you'd expect from a being that enjoys the abject misery of his victims. So, yeah, he REALLY deserves this. ;3
Chapters (1)
Really awesome. I had never imagined using the Vorpal Blade as a tool to fight Discord, only Underland could make such a chaotic creature, I really love this. Being a fan of the Doctor I loved how you handled his emotions of being the Last Time Lord and having him break his rule in order to prevent more lives being lost. I love this story. It is awesome.
928100 Aw, thank you much! I just noticed that Discord was similar in basic structure to the Jabberwocky, and realized how similar his chaotic actions were to the nonsense of Wonderland, it thus made sense that he was one in thsi story. And given that the Vorpal dagger seemed to be a rather unusually potent weapon against the Jabberwocky if indeed those creatures did have Discord's powers, I simply rationalized that to destroy a being of chaos, the weapon had to be composed of the most ordered subtance imaginable.
And who better to weild it than the Doctor? I mean, seriously!
Good idea, nice execution. A shame the Doctor had to go... Nice
928665 That's rather been the theme of "Doctor Who", that the Doctor can never stay in one place. He's always running from himself. The longer story I had in mind would have as one of its undercurrents that the Doctor would finally be at peace in Equestria. The villains that do show up are defeated by the ponies without him having to act.
He has a concern about Discord when he's released the first time in the show, but as Discord's antics prove mainly playful and he's re-sealed in a matter of hours, it amounts to little. The changelings are also stopped quickly, in fact, since the Doctor had remained in Ponyville initially, he only knew about the invasion near its end. And again, the ponies saved the day on their own.
It's the meat-and-potatoes of what happens when my main tale takes place which begins to force his hand... er, hoof... The Doctor at some point will go back in time to Discord's first reign, something he hadn't done before as he was concerned about interfering with the timeline which had worked out so smoothly... or so it seemed. Things start to go wonky in the present. Discord in the past is tearing time. Basically, Doctor helps in the past, goes back into present, where past-Discord's efforts were to free his future self again. Doctor ends up arriving weeks later than he wanted thanks to present Discord breaking free and wreaking havoc with reality. Doctor by now has learned how horrible past Discord becomes once he's free for a while. Discord's chaos and sadism intensify the longer he's free, until he starts doing some REALLY awful things to ponies... and pretty much screws up reality for that matter. Melting ponies, puzzle-piece ponies, ponies endlessly burning, inside-out ponies, ponies trapped in mirrors... only the beginnings of what he has done. And yet, he doesn't kill any of them initially. Only when Celestia makes an ill-conceived request for mercy for one pony being tormented. As he does with everything, his responses to ponies are as twisted as possible.
I have so much to put together for this story! But basically, Discord proves so terrible that the Doctor must intervene. And something clues him in as to what Discord is, besides his somewhat familiar appearance.
And thus Discord's defeat and the Doctor heads off to find what he brings back in this little epilogue.
Like I said in the description, the longer story is VERY complicated, far beyond anything I've attempted to write before. And with my limited time I may never have the chance to write it.
937010
I forgot that this was the epilogue of an untold story, it makes it even more terrible then. What I like of the Doctor in Equestria mythos is that this is the first time that he allowed himself to rest, to become attached. That Equestria has given him the chance to be happy for once.
And this story becomes even harder on him now.
Again, excellent job.
937042 You're very welcome.
This epilogue will be bittersweet if I do ever get the time to really put in the effort needed for the long story, everypony will be very VERY glad Discord is dead for good. i understand what's possible for a being that controls chaos. The only thing really that will save them is that Discord' thoughts also become more jumbled as he descends deeper into his chaotic side. He can't think clearly anymore, his mind becomes as jumbled as any Wonderland inhabitant. His cleverness wanes as madness takes hold and thus he can be tricked.
The Elements work on Discord by forcing him into a semi-ordered state, which appears to the eye as solid, uniform grey stone. In actually, it's similar to the quantum lock the Weeping Angels are in when someone is looking at them.
It's so much fun finding all the little ways to tie the Doctor's mythos to Equestria's! I've found so much works perfectly together!
I have some trouble with the hyper-sadistic version of Discord, but if that's what you want to run with, I'm not gonna chew your beef over it. Just that while he can revel in the misery of other ponies, it's more of a different portfolio than the destruction and torment thing.
(Actually, I've more a complaint about the Doctor who ONLY uses death and similar final fates as a last resort, and I don't believe the mood at all he has when slaying Discord. Even when the Doctor doomed the most vile, reprehensible, irredeemable of creatures and beings he did so with a heavy heart. I can't find myself believing that all other options are explored...)
And the issue I guess is that this is sort of a 'after-story' to a story. You've got a good sense of voice and description, and emotional weight and decent scene structure. . . I would stick to a whole idea, short or long, and develop it wholesale. You have a lot of potential. Right now I'd suggest just finding something you REALLY want to write and have fun with it.
But I would avoid stuff like, uhm,
Two issues here, one being the meta 'force' thing being a tangential universe's canon thrusting in. Breaks immersion. The other is the 'no, seriously' bit. You should restrain narrative commentary unless that's a part of the entire story structure. It's basically an interruption without merit, unless you use it fully.
Hope that helps. :) Keep on writing, and it'll do you well.
1084650 I couldn't resist the force joke. It made me giggle. I'm a super troll and couldn't even stop myself from trolling my own story. Every time I re-read and hit that line I imagine every reader groaning and head-desking and I cackle like a mad-man.
As for the Doctor, well, I wrote this somewhat in the vein of a prediction for a change in the way he deals with irredeemably evil creatures as time goes on. He's already shown some of that change previously, especially in the first Tennant episode: and I quote, "No second chances." And have you seen the trailer for the new season of Doctor Who? I was squeeing because it seems he's finally had it with the Daleks.
I too mainly dislike super-evil Discord, and I also dislike super-clever Discord! Discord is supposed to be an arbiter of chaos, and too many stories having him concocting and acting out elaborate long-term plans. I find that utterly at odds with a nature based on chaos. Yet, he did have plans in the show, though they were thought up on the spot. And for all his early cleverness, he was defeated due to ignoring the obvious. It seemed to me that as time went on, he simply quit planning and became only interested in how much insanity he could spread. I took that idea of him gradually losing his wits and ran with it.
This was a sort of compromise between all the oddities of Discord's self-conflicting canon character, the need for a more evil villain styled toward the Doctor Who universe, and an origin story twist I rather like, and one which I thought of the instant I saw "Return of Harmony". If I ever write out the full story for which this will be an epilogue, the Discord we saw in the show will be 'stage 1' in his behavior after release from his 'quantum locked' stone prison (he's trapped in a prison which is analogous to the Weeping Angels, forced into an ordered state). After his initial release, Discord gradually sheds the side effects of having been subjected to long-term exposure to order; those being that he can think and plan clearly and lucidly, he can exhibit self-control, and he can decide what he wishes to toy with. He grows more insane and psychotic as time passes and chaos totally rules his nature. His behavior becomes thoroughly random and highly destructive, while his mind devolves into gleeful mania at what he's doing.
Interesting, making Discord a Jabberwock... although why a Vorpal Dagger, instead of a sword, like (it seems to me) was used in Carroll's original poem?
Will you write any more of your own here?
1688079 The Doctor already got to use a sword the first time he used his 'fightin' arm', so I decided on a dagger. Just because. I had a whole silly 'Et tu, Doctor?' notion going on that was making me giggle.
Deserve a thumbs up and a fav. Any chance of writing more in the future?
1929469 This is meant to be an epilogue to a very long story idea I have partially outlined. Currently I'm stuck on some crucial plot points in the story that I wish to resolve without resorting to a deux ex. I believe I may have to go back and rethink the entire build up to those points so I can avoid the trap.
1929582>>1929582>>1929582Ah I see then. Yeah the deus ex trope is something everyone wants to avoid but always ends up being a tool for new writers. I do wish to read more of your stuff though if you ever do, got some powerful writing skills. I'm envious.
1929646 Well, deux ex's are hard to avoid when one main character is a god of chaos and the other has an uncanny knack for defeating evil gods and repairing the universe every few weeks.
1929793 yeah i see your point on Discord.
1929805 It's a matter of thinking ahead and giving the villain a believable weakness that the hero can exploit somehow. My idea has been that Discord grows more irrational and chaotic the longer he's free. This is then the key to his defeat.
I've also been trying to figure out when in the story to include the revelation that he's the Jabberwocky. It's tricky because that means interdimensional travel, which then means I need to split the story in two. I'll need some chapters with the Doctor and perhaps Derpy in Wonderland, while still keeping track of what goes on with the ponies' fight against Discord in Equestria.
In fact, it's proving so difficult to make such a split work well that I'm considering leaving the Doctor's epiphany about Discord until near the end, after the evil spirit is already 'stoned'. Perhaps the ponies are musing about how they could destroy him, with some philosophical bits about this being the first time they have actually wanted an enemy dead and the shock of just how much Discord's horror had changed them forever. And that would lead to one asking the question(perhaps Luna), "But what blade could cut such a creature fatally? How can you destroy something so nonsensical that it defies reality?" And then the Doctor would get the little lightbulb and murmur, "Twas brillig in the slithy toves...", setting the stage for the epilogue as he dashes off, leaving Derpy sadly behind, explaining that he wants to leave her as she is: innocent and pure, untainted by things he's seen and done. "Once you've traveled with me, you won't be the same anymore. No one is when they understand what I can do... what I've already done. You keep that smile of yours; just do that for me."
I kinda wonder how many dislikes I have simply because Discord dies.
But no rants about it. I'm disappointed. Lazy critics.
2377481 The number of thumbs down is unjust. I think you have haters. Anti-fans.
2560156
In the words of Pinkie Pie:
2560156 Hee hee, it's likely all the Discord fans. They hate that I killed him.
*trollish grin* Which was kinda-a-little-part-of-my-plan all along.
2560156 Really, this is just a little semi-story snippet I'm not even sure I'll run with regardless.
I have a MUCH better idea in the works for a MASSIVE fanfic.
I'm currently world-building it. Up to 4 pages on notes just on the present-day social/economic/cultural status of the griffons.
Sea serpents cause the tides; the Sun and Moon are approx 100 mile-diameter magical objects; dragons cause volcanoes and plate techtonics (the reason why they can swin in lava).
Basically, I'm going with the idea that all of nature is directly controlled by living beings in their world, save for the small areas of 'wild nature'... which may be part of the plot, I'm not sure yet.
All depends on how I work in the idea of the rationale behind the Seven Princesses of my present-day.
Doctor-wank.
2688607 Kinda playing off the new Doctor Who series, where he's so frigging over-capable and knowledgeable that he can make god-like beings shiver just by speaking his name.
I kinda miss it when he just randomly happened upon problems and fixed them. He was just a traveller back then. An alien with weird regenerations, yes, but still basically an old scientist guy in a blue box.
He's getting too 'BIG' in the scope of things, and it's diminishing his character I think.
And I was getting sick of the super-intelligent hyper-evil Discords slaughtering ponies (while somehow still managing to lose in exactly the same way as in the show canon... which really isn't plausible if you think about it) and decided to write a fic that shows I can god-mode just as effecively on the side of good.
Naming Discord as the Jabberwocky was sheer brilliance.
3005981 That idea features in various ways in a several of my story ideas I'm slowly outlining.
It makes him vary from neutral good to chaotic evil depending on how I apply it within the context and plotting in each narrative.
I felt it was a good fit to his nature, seemingly at odds with all of Equestria, and his 'chaos' looks so very much like some of the land 'through the looking glass' as it were.
Anyway, this was something I hammered out mainly to fiddle with a few ideas for stories floating about. The original idea I had for this will probably never be written! It became too unwieldy and difficult to make sense of from a plotting standpoint. But the various tidbits and details will work in other ideas that are much more logical and internally feasible.
3006232
>I'm currently world-building it. Up to 4 pages on notes just on the present-day social/economic/cultural status of the griffons.
>just on the present-day social/economic/cultural status of the griffons.
>social/economic/cultural status
Well this should be comedy gold. Entertain me, repleblican. I'm sure your not-at-all biased and ignorant views of the world will provide an excellent basis for such a grand undertaking. rustlingintensifies
3435908 Oh yes, and the Holocaust-deniers who almost unanimously hail from the left don't have a rather distorted world view.
If you wish to continue, I can REALLY get mean. Your side has provided me with more than enough ammunition given how many 'facts' they constantly get wrong.
Let me see: "Ancient Aliens" believers... Scientologists... Chairman Mao fans... why look at that! All on the left!
Who'd a thunk it!
Proponents of eugenics... why that was the progressive movement! You know, the ones who claim to be so advanced and rational? Such as one Princeton bioethicist Peter Singer, who has argued that it is perfectly acceptable to perform 'post-term abortions' if the mother doesn't want the baby up to 2 years of age, since they baby is not really a person as yet, but is an animal rights proponent who believes it wrong to experiment on mice... that don't even live past 2 years of age naturally and have no trace of higher cognitive awareness.
Oh yes, I know your side VERY well. Since I am a biologist, I have wriggled my way into several 'inner circles' of the leftist elites by keeping silent until I'd gathered the truth about the progressive monstrosity. But I also know how to uproot them.
Snowden was part 1. Get ready for parts 2-10. 30 years of my brilliant engineering from behind the scenes is about to be unfolded, and it can no longer be stopped as the fools have taken in the segments of my schemes into themselves! Watch as I single-handedly dismember the progressive movement forever and prove myself the most cunning being to ever live on this world!
And then, the grand finale! My magnum opus, the greatest of my creations... my own body, thousands upon thousands of mutations slowly induced via tri-helicated nucleopeptide insertion vectors of my own design all coming together at last to transform me into a GOD!!!
(So in case it's not clear enough, I've stopped taking you seriously.)
3436160
Leftist? What's that? Sorry, I don't come from that strange continent that runs on a two-party
systemtrainwreck. You'll have to be more clear in your insults. What side am I supposed to be on anyway?All things aside, what I don't understand is your devotion to randomly trashing things. If all you want to do is badmouth people when they don't do/write/think as you want them to, why are you here instead of le reddit or something?
That, and your fanatic teapartyism. But hey, that's murrica for you.
3436339 Randomly trashing things? You mean such as pointing out specific problems with the plots and characterizations? Irrationalities in the set-up, blatant favoritism such that it begins to interfere with the internal continuity and plausibility of the narrative thread?
That's legitimate criticism. It's founded upon an analysis of the story which considers the entirety of the work and is not blinded by fandom devotion or desires.
Trashing things would be just to go, "BLAH IT R TEH suXXXorZ!! 10,000 DISLYKES 4 u!"
But, though I may be speaking to a socialist who still believes in the fantasy of utopia (the book "Utopia" was a satire, by the way. The name means 'nowhere', and the implied meaning of the story was to poke fun at the notion that humans could ever create a paradise... something that was totally lost on the socialists who read the book and thought it serious.)
Tea Party I am, and I have DESTROYED every socialist I've ever encountered who dares to wave their foil swords of phony pseudo-intellectualism in my face. You don't even realize that this two-party system is NOT even legitimate to our country! There is no party requirement at all in the US Constitution! It has become a de facto two-party system via dominance by power brokers on both establishment sides.
We seek to form a third party, and now is the time to move on it. People overwhelmingly support term limits, eliminating the power of lobbyists, reigning in the size and scope of law bills, and simply mandating that Congress read EVERYTHING it votes upon, which would save us so much trouble and lead to smaller bills with much clearer language.
The Tea Party is the only group who would pass all such reforms, since we aren't the 'elite' who all agree to play the game for power and wealth.
We are despised as the only ones who believe in individual liberties anymore, and that the government is far from wise, benevolent, and efficient when given full reign over the people. We believe, as did our country's founders, that government is as best a necessary evil and at worst an intolerable one.
We believe that there is only freedom when the government fears the people, and that there in only tyranny when the people fear the government... as they do now. Terrified to speak out lest they be audited by the IRS, who can drag one through the system relentlessly even if one is innocent; terrified of saying anything against the administration or they'll be put on a watch list and harassed, as has happened to a number of conservative small business owners who were visited by every law enforcement agency of the federal government for no reason at all, other than they'd donated to Tea Party groups.
Yes, this is the wonderful government of Obama: the most closed, deceptive, mocking, strong-armed, despotic presidency beyond anything we've ever experienced. A government that gave hundreds of high-powered weapons to drug gangs in a failed tracking program called "Fast and Furious", that still covers up the facts of the terrorist attacks in Benghazi, that would have passed the horrible SOPA bill had mass protests halted it in its tracks (Obama initially supported it, then quickly made an about-face when it was clear there was massive public anger over it), who wishes to create a fully standardized educational system 'Common Core' which is little more than a curriculum of brainwashing (I have seen quite a bit of the coercive language used in the 'approved' curriculum, since my brother is a teacher, and a very heavy focus on communist leaders in the history portions, with little mention at all to their atrocities such as the 100 million dead under Mao's regime in China, while harping endlessly on the 'evils' of America), then we have the NSA scandal, the Solyndra and other failed 'green' company scandals, there is also now the fact that the Canadian company who designed the Healthcare Website had a record of severe cost-overruns and was fired by Canada over a fiasco with Canada's website... yet received the contract to build the federal and many state application sites... one of whose head executives is a personal friend of Michele Obama. We call that 'neoptism', and in New Jersey (where I live) we have experienced for many years under a thoroughly corrupt Democrat rule (especially the horrible previous governor John Corzine, who was so absolutely awful that even his own party started to abandon him in the end), the enormous financial losses and poor workmanship that results from people with 'connections' getting no-bid contracts.
There is the regulatory czar Cass Sunstein, whose book "It's For Your Own Good" attempts (badly) to make the case that those in government are wiser than the common people and that they have the right to control all aspects of people's individual lives, as the 'regular people' aren't ever smart enough to make good decisions. Now, remember, this is coming from a politician... is there any greater example of delusional narcissism?
There was Rahm Emmanuel (now the mayor of Chicago, who has managed to lead that city to the highest murder rate in the nation), who operated in the manner of a typical mafia boss with his bullying tactics and who said, "Never let a good crisis go to waste. You can do things you normally wouldn't be able to do." Essentially, manipulate the situation when people are hurting to get what you want. Is that an idea that I, as a good person, should find admirable and just? Or is it not rather the words of a wicked man who would deceive people into signing over their souls for a bowl of rice when they are starving?
We have the example of Detroit, a once bustling city of manufacture, which then adopted union thuggery and a corrupt Democrat leadership for 50 years... and is now a filthy, crime-ridden, ruined, impoverished disaster gone completely bankrupt.
I've watched socialism destroy Mexico and now Venezuela (where they have toilet paper shortages among other things, from what was once a vibrant free economy before the de facto dictator Chavez took power). I have never seen a single example of a socialist government holding together for even a single century. Even those which have the illusion of stability today are, in fact, decaying rapidly on the inside. I dug beneath their gilded surfaces and found the rot which will lead them all to ruin before I am even an old man. I suspect they will be shocked by the suddenness of their own collapse, so completely have they fooled themselves into believing their own myth of strength.
We find ample evidence that our government has now crossed firmly into intolerable territory; crushing the responsible, honest, moral, and hard-working people while rewarding the slothful, the criminals, and the corrupt power brokers.
Now, would you care to explain why I should kowtow to Obama and his regime of arrogant, elitist snobs who promise to turn our country into the form of government that has brought almost unanimous disaster everywhere it has ever been enacted?
I can count now nearly a dozen serious offenses for which Obama could rightfully be impeached at this point! Need I remind you that Nixon was impeached for a botched robbery from a couple of campaign people trying to spy on the Democratic Party.
Obama's regime has spied upon the entire nation, lied about it, then were caught red-handed. But, of course, Obama never knows anything! Of every single scandal, Obama never knows anything about what his department heads are doing. That is the excuse every.. single... time. And I am supposed to believe this? Would anyone believe this about any other leader? Be reasonable!
I find those claims ridiculous. Either that too is a lie, or he is the most incompetent President in history who has no idea what's going on in his own administration, and thus is merely a buffoon dancing to the tune of the true masterminds engineering all these scandalous affairs... who aren't all that smart either considering they've been caught. But perhaps they don't care since the media will not even call them to task for any of it, not even when the news organizations themselves are being spied upon and their reporters threatened.
Note how I can call all of this to mind directly from memory. (Apparently I know more about what the government is doing than Obama does! I should be President! I can't see how I could possibly do worse. At the very least I wouldn't add $9 trillion in debt in only 5 years.) I would ask if you even know a fraction of what your own government has been up to lately. I have a detailed mental record of mine that stretches back to 1991, when I first realized we were beginning to slip down a very steep slope after I first read about the progressive movement of the early 1900s, what it mutated into during the 1920s, its subtle mechanisms of working evil, and saw its malignant tendrils working their way through society once again.
I have more than a century's worth of evidence in my pocket, so do not think for a moment that my opinions are unfounded. I could write several volumes from just the surface of my mental vault of information, to say nothing of adding all the information from the hundreds of reference sources I know of, and of which I have quite a large personal library.
Now if you don't mind, I'm quite done with this now. I have given you all the hints you need to see the truth of matters if you care to seek it.
If not, if you cling to what you have been told by those who deem ignorance a virtue, you are of no further relevance.
3436612
When I was talking about random trashing, I was more referring to your random hateblogging on fics for no apparent reason. But, of course, you'll dive into your little conspiracy theories again. Sasuga murrika.
Now, I'm not saying either party of murrikan politics is good per se. However, you replebs are by far the most bitchy about it, and that part is what led to this government shutdown. Bitchyness. Especially from you and your teapartyhat comrades.
Yes, by all means, form a third party. Splinter off and watch as zero electors or whatever fall into your hands in the next election, so the civilized world doesn't need to be bothered about your little crazy antics anymore. Murrica may be one dirty rug, but you guys are a fucking radioactive stain on it. At least the two-party system will be good for something.
In summario: you are crazy, your party is crazy, and nobody else in any other reasonably civilized country would even think of implementing policy like the stuff you guys are advocating, or bitch as much as you do about it. Aside, of course, from the nutjobs that are comfortably shut out of the ruling bodies elsewhere. Sasuga murrika.
Good day.
3437259 Oh you truly are a blithering idiot.
The Democrats were the ones who shut it down. Harry Reid, leader of the Democrat Senate majority refused to allow a vote on any bill Congress passed that altered Obamacare in the least, INCLUDING a bill that would have funded the entire government, and only asked for a 1-year delay of the individual mandate (which it turns out was clearly needed since the system was not at all ready!).
No, THEY shut it down, THEY refused any reforms to their precious disaster of a healthcare system. THEY would have defaulted on US debt (it is ILLEGAL for the President to refuse to pay interest on US debt so long as the money is available, which it was since taxes were still being collected and the money for interest and principle payments had already previously been allocated.).
Now, would you care to spout off any more falsehoods I can obliterate with cold, hard FACT?
3436612
Holy fucking God, this is the longest comment I have ever seen.
4702505 Nothing crushes socialists more than explaining ones thought processes and facts.
Since they never bother to think about their own ideas on any rational level.
4703577
But mah socialism! It is best!
4703586 NOTHING IS BETTER THAN MY SUPREME RULE OVER ALL LIFE AND ENERGY!!!
OBEY MY WILL LEST I SMITE THEE WITH TROLLING AND LOLCATS!!
And, I find myself back here once again.
You know, idc how many peeps down voted this fic, or what their problem is. To me, THIS right here, is what finally got me to go check out the actual show, and now it's my number 1 favorite program on tv. So goggles off to you, you psychopath, and thanks.
4715025 I make fun of the bad fics they like.
It makes them angry.
Which amuses me.
You know, I like Doctor Who, though not for the reason most people do... I don't know if you're familiar with him, but recently, a nephew of mine started reading Bruce Coville's my teachers an alien series of books. Out of curiosity, I took a look...
Chatoyance to the nth degree. Seriously, what is with folks assuming technological and "cultural" advancement is somehow equates societal Utopias. Personally, and I've said this before, I have this inkling we're going towards a Mass Effect or Cowboy Bebop\Fifth Element sort of thing... anyway... With Doctor Who, you see the whole shebang, good and bad. Look at the Galafreyans... those sods make the Harvesters look like tinker toys, and look how bad they turned out
5031900 I suspect society will still be what it is, going through the same phases it always has, over and over... just with bigger and badder toys.
Human society as a whole never learns from history and seems to enjoy being stupid. violent, and fearful. "Men in Black" got that part so very very right.
We may still wipe ourselves out if we ever develop FTL ships.
Crash one of those weighing a few hundred tons into Earth at that velocity... bye bye surface life!
Seriously, try calculating the energy of such an impact even at 90% the speed of light. It's horrifyingly devastating!
5033558
Uh.... talking to your polar opposite on the intelligence spectrum here sparky... But let me rub the two brain cells together and take a shot in the dark...I'd imagine it'd be a complete fucking disaster
5033640 The asteroid that killed the dinosaurs would look like a bottle rocket popping by comparison.
5033696
didn't i just say that in my eloquent way
5033710 But it would be really cool...
(The Doctor shows up to stop Alondro from blowing up the world...)
You know, Alondro, I can see you've got yourself some haters. Some folks who show up on your page here just because they don't like you. And I understand that. I don't like you. It's just taken me some time to figure out why I don't like you.
You're a smart guy (girl? I'm assuming guy, but...) and you don't hesitate to share your opinions on the internet. For some, that might be enough reason to write you off. You also admit to being a troll, which I assume means you enjoy inflaming people and enjoy their reactions. But neither of those things brought me here.
While I can't speak for anyone else, I'd say that my biggest issue is your focus. I've seen you comment on plenty of stories, and it's always the same pattern. You post these long-winded, intellectual comments and you focus them on whatever weak point a story has. You find a flaw and you disparage a whole story for it, while any good qualities are left sitting silently twiddling their thumbs. Meanwhile, it seems that the majority of commenters on other stories are willing to allow a story's merits to connect them, like a bridge, to the writer's intent. Once connected, we can share that experience with them. It's what language exists for us to do. You blast apart the flaws with your intellect, Mr. Alondro, but I've never seen you praise the good in all the comments I've seen you write. Seriously, I'd love to read just one story you've read where you had only positive things to say in your comments.
In any case, moving on... So, clicking on your name, I was expecting to find the very best fiction crafted on this site. Someone with such knowledge and awareness of tropes, and with such a finely-tuned palette for the written word must surely have some great writing under their belt, right? So, I'm kind of disappointed. You don't really have any writing here that qualifies you as a good literary critic.
This story appears to be your best work, so I read it, hoping for a glimpse into the mind of Alondro.
Your overall theme here is an epilogue to a story we don't get to read, and even within this tiny nugget, nothing changes. The evil slain here is helpless, there is but one blow, and its over as soon as it's done. You've got some very clunky descriptions (the second sentence was almost too thick for me to slog through), and your insistence that you 'troll your own fic' feels odd to me. It seems less that you revel in the groans of your readers, and more that you feel anxious about trying to write anything serious for more than a page. As though your own criticisms hammer your words to dust before they even reach the computer.
Which is kind of sad, really. Your stuff has potential. You're smart, that's no secret. You've found a conceptual way to blend three universes together, which isn't easy to do. Then naming Discord a Jaberwoky and ending him with the Vorpal Dagger is really awesome. Your love for the source material shows through your writing, and it carries a lot of weight. I don't think this story deserves all the downvotes it has, and I have to wonder if they're due more to you rubbing folks the wrong way than the actual merits of your writing. My advice is to relax, stop worrying so much, and let yourself write your own story. If it isn't perfect, so what? No story is perfect. If you seriously tackle something along the lines of what you have above (minus the self-induced manic moments of trolololiness), I think I'd really like to read it.
Guh, maybe I don't dislike you at all. Maybe that's the point. Maybe I just wanted to understand you a little better.
5727376 It's a trollfic.
It was my flippant reaction to the grim-dark Discord stories and lazy crossovers. A subtle commentary on why they just don't work.
By pointing these things out about it, you've proven my point!
So, thanks for agreeing with me!
(NOW perhaps you have a better idea of how truly sinister my cleverness is when I choose to employ it.)
5727376
I should point this out: this is a story which is a parody of the self-important, over-wrought melodramas and dismal crossovers where the 'other world' hero is absurdly over-powered compared to the pony world characters, making them irrelevant as the intruders smite everything with impunity, as well as striking a blow at the idea of grimdark Discord as a viable character.
If you wish me to write a SERIOUS story... don't expect that from a world populated by magical rainbow ponies who reform villains most of the time by making them cry. The very idea makes me laugh.
Wow................amazing
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7053057 Oh come now, it's just a pseudo-serious satire of the plethora of 'grimdark Discord' fanfics which popped up around the time I wrote it. I just felt like one-upping them by having the Gary Stu Doctor show up and wipe him out, just as a point of how easily an OP villain can be OP'd.
Had I wished to take it deeper, I could have had the characters in-story point out that adding powers, motives, and capabilities to a character while ignoring how those changes would radically alter their backstory is a terrible type of fanon trope which results in garbage like the ending of "Battlestar Galactica" when a hack writer gets a real job.
Basically, the whole point of the story was to pull the rug out from the readers' feet and demonstrate how easily people can be taken in by cliché bad writing and character wanking.
I like subverting tropes that way. I used to do it a lot in RPs back in the days when I had more free time and motivation. "Deadpool" was glorious in that respect. Especially his getting bored with Colossus' hero speech and shooting the bad guy in the face. Awesome.
7053970 its how well it was portrayed, not the the fact that there are greater things than discord, etc!!