Awesome job, dude! I really liked this!

8473664
thank you. I apologize for the wait.

8473674
It's all good, bro!

as a certain maniac that is, to this day making us wait for one single game, would say "it's worth the wait."
I loved this and by god, if I wasn't so tired right now I would have plans for this.

I have to say i really like this 3 chapter format your useing for these, the 1st shows them coming together, the 2nd explores their relationship, and 3rd is the payoff. I think this is a good format to use.
Now for a few cons: Theres no need to keep mentioning exactly how big the boobs are, once is enough and from than just refer to them as "big","large","firm" etc. Just leave it to the imagination.
And i dont think useing IRL things as Video Game or real Movie titles really fits into these, kinda breaks the immesion, maybe change them around a little bit. Anyway this a great read, hope to see more.

8651681
Awesome

Rarity is my 2nd favorite in the mane 6 after Fluttershy

Nice pun at the end lol

8880659
which one? The "making a man out of me" part?

Chapter 1: My first thoughts after reading this was why is the Gary Stu a typical bully? Why are people making fun of a guy who's literally only four inches under the average height of a man in the US? Why didn't you just do a crossover or make things more realistic?

Meh, it could barely work as decent (Puts in the decent section) it's not like it could get worst

Chapter 2: OMG! It got worst! The action scene is boring and predictable, the continuity is shattered, the gary stu is strong with this one no matter how hard you try, and the story is basically cutesy wutesy garbage. At least there's the sex scene to looking forward to.

Chapter 3: Okay, ignore the old fashsioned look on womanhood and sex and... I hope this person is not one of those virgins who thinks that one could pop the hymen... And... The sex scene is good so far... And it's anatomically incorrect e's one of those virgins who don't know better, isn't he?

derpicdn.net/img/2012/1/22/1308/full.gif

RAHHH!!!

*Throws the laptop at the window, only for the plexiglass to bounce it off and hit my nose*

"The pain of that is nothing compared to the disappointment in my heart!"

*Reads the rest of it on a cracked screen*

Overall, good bowchickwowow scene

F for plot
D for character development
C-- for sex scene

FYI, here's my biggest bone to pick. See that tag there on your fic? It says: "Slice of life" I'm not the expert on the topic, but I've seen and done Slice of Life before, and this isn't REMOTELY Slice of Life. There's just way too many unbelievable things that aren't even trying to adhere to reality that I even question that you even done any research on the topic whatsoever Not even the family scene can be considered Slice of Life since it's heavily Drama centered

My second biggest bone to pick is simple actually. SHOW BUT NOT TELL!! For a person who reads comics, your on text representation of visual gag is severely lack if that's what you were going for.

Overall, I felt like I have to suffer to read this fic far more than I could enjoy it, 1.5/10

I would just like to point out something.. well two things.

1. Why are the guys blind? Not blind-blind but blind that the first time the woman hints a bit of fucking, they all get shy and embarrassed about it. I kinda wanna see them a bit hungry for sex. And with Fluttershy as your last, I'd like to see how you'll drive this.

2. The entire franchise of 'EQG and You' has all the women horny for their boyfriends. That kinda throws me out, for a bit. Make one of the guys at least horny (i.e use this idea for Fluttershy) or better yet, if they're horny then make the guys hornier!

Hope you find this comment a bit useful.

8954478
I see your point. Thank you, I'll be sure to use this advice when I work on my Applejack story

"Do you know why I let you be my first?"

"Uh...umm... no, not really."

"It's because during our time as friends before made me get to know the real you, not the short-tempered little man who would brutalize anyone who called you short, but the kinder and more gentler side of you who's got more heart than any other guy out there

I'd be more willing to believe this if we got to see that kinder side ourselves. All I saw was a violent man who beat people up for making fun of his height unless someone else was around to put them in their place.

You know, I read A Night With Your Favourite Bookworm before this and thought it was decent. Maybe not my favourite fic or anthing particluarly special, but I thought you had potential. But this fic isn't good. I hope the next one -The Love Of A Rockstar Athlete - is better.

9107387
I'm not perfect. No one is. I messed up a few times, but I'm doing what I can to make better content

9107440
That's why I will read the sequel about Rainbow Dash, and that's why I pointed out my problems with this fic. I want you to improve, so I'm letting you know why I didn't like this one. Maybe I didn't put it across well, but I do think you have potential.

9107584
thanks.

9108239
You're welcome.

Woof! This was an awesome read! I wish Rarity would do half this stuff to me ;)

Good work Israel

Wait, last chapter said that rarity's breasts were G cup, now they're D cup?

9601570
fixed

9601605
Much better

Uh... I think the text reversed the change you made to it, you did change it to say rarity's cup size was G but it says D-cup

9633936
Now both say G-cup

9634006
there we go