• Member Since 21st Jun, 2017
  • offline last seen Apr 29th, 2023

stephamazin


Just a teen girl with a dark sense of humor and a love of cartoons P.S. Fluttershy is best pony

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When Sombra was born he was lucky not to have simply been left to die by the ponies who took one look at his coat color and thought him nothing but a monster, even his own mother. But his father had taken him to the princesses instead. He pressed his snout against the floor in the lowest bow he could; he begged the princesses to lift the curse on his son and change his fate. Celestia simply turned him away stating that the foals fate was sealed and the disharmonious magic tainting his coat would eat away at his mind till there was nothing left.

Luna, however thought otherwise, she believed that if he were to be raised properly he wouldn't succumb to his darkness; to be powerful enough to change his fate. Although Celestia was loudly against it and pursued her sister to leave the foal Luna wouldn't be bullied. She saw her own darkness mimicked in the colt and wouldn't leave it. She would have someone who understood and could fight the darkness with her.

Luna would change her own dark fate... even if it meant raising a monster.

*I haven't decided on all the characters that will be in the story so it will change accordingly*

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 6 )

Ok this is a interesting concept, but I say i feel a little lost when reading through it. From what I got Sombra is studying under Luna but I feel like you should expand this more and delve deeper, especially the important parts of the story like the restricted part of the library for example.

My suggestion add a bit more meat to your story expand on the characters and a bit more back story, and lessen the jumps so it's easier to follow.

I'll keep this story on watch and see how it plays out tho.

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I have decided to rewrite the beginning. so when the new first chapter comes out please read and give me your opinion on it.

This is a nice origin story for Sombra, and I an see great potential how he is cursed and how he handle it. Also I like how you take Celestia's stance to anything related to dark magic while harsh and very unforgiving it's a interesting take on her character usually I see her character written as forgiving and fair handed but this is a nice take.

And to Luna, from what I take this is Luna growing jealous of her sister a good time before she becomes Nightmare Moon, but she have a polar opposite view on how to deal certain situations, I interested to how you will play this out.

This is a huge improvement and I can't wait to see more chapters from you.

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Thank you very much for your feedback!

I'm glad to see an update to this story I was wondering if you abandon it, but I'm glad I was wrong. :pinkiehappy:

And this is a really good chapter, continuing on Sombra's training with Luna, also I like how you incorporated Celestia's dogmatic attitude to the Solar guard, and when the bully scene happen I hope Luna swooped in and gave them the royal canterlot voice.

And finally the nightmare scene I love it, the fear he felt and hearing all the taunts and harassment he have to endor seeping in his fragile mind, I can see it slow breaking him.

I hope you continue on, and keep updating this story. :twilightsmile:

OMG I love This story can you make more!??

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