A Pain in the Astral
Rain pattered against the ground in small droplets, dousing the grass and dirt with a light covering of moisture. Even without the darkness that had been cast over the sky by the clouds, the light that normally shown brightly over Ponyville in the summer seemed to have dimmed.
Rainbow Dash approached the casket, and placed a hoof over the glass panel that protected Fluttershy's body from the rain. Her friends had all gathered for the funeral as well, dressed in dull blacks and greys that matched the expressions written on their faces. Even Pinkie Pie showed no sign of joy, her usual self seeming both metaphorically and literally deflated.
Rainbow Dash sniffled, unable to tell the tears on her cheeks apart from the rain. "I-it's not fair. I... I never had a chance to say goodbye. I-I never had the chance to tell her how I really felt."
Applejack approached the distraught pegasus, and gently wrapped a hoof around Rainbow's shoulder. "None of us could have seen this coming, sugarcube. You did everything you could."
Rainbow Dash returned the gesture, wrapping both of her forelegs around Applejack in a tight embrace. Several seconds passed as the two held each other silently in the rain.
Rarity approached the two as they released each other from their mutual embrace. Her outfit was easily the fanciest of any pony attending the funeral, but its meager frills were greatly restrained in comparison to her normally extravagant designs. It was little more than black dress and hat, paired with a transparent veil that covered the top of her eyes.
"Twilight is about to give her speech," she said. "Have you seen Discord anywhere? I was told he would be arriving in time for the burial."
Rainbow Dash shook her head, unable to bring herself to answer in words.
"Ah wouldn't worry too much about it, Rarity," Applejack replied. "Fluttershy was the first friend he ever done made. If anything, Ah'm guessing he's still having trouble accepting her loss. It's probably for the best that we give him some space until he comes to terms with it himself."
"I suppose you're right," Rarity admitted. "He must be absolutely distraught, the poor thing. I just hope he'll be okay..."
———————
Fluttershy let out a noise of satisfaction as she sat atop her seat, happily munching on a slice of pie. The walls that surrounded her were of a quaint one-story farmhouse situated atop a seemingly endless expanse of clouds, clouds which extended even within the walls, making up the entirety of the floor. In the center of the cozily-furnished kitchen was a small table with an assortment of apple-related foodstuffs, laid out by both of Fluttershy's hosts.
"Oh, this is amazing!" said Fluttershy. "Your apple pie is the greatest thing I've ever tasted! What kind of recipe did you use?"
Bright Mac smiled. "Sorry, that's a family secret. 'Course, it also helps to add a bit of manna as well."
"Well, it's wonderful!" said Fluttershy. "Thank you both so much for having me over, I really appreciate it."
Bright Mac and Pear Butter both glanced into each others eyes, then turned towards Fluttershy.
"Actually, if you don't mind," said Pear Butter, "there's another reason we invited you over. We wanted to ask you about something that's important to us."
"Oh?" said Fluttershy.
The ends of Pear Butter's lips curved downwards slightly. "It's about our children. We haven't watched over them as much as we wanted to since we, er... left. We've been meaning to head to the Astral Observatory to check on them more often, but between eternal bliss and having no sun or moon, it's easier to lose track of time than we thought it'd be."
"Oh, you don't have to worry about your family, Miss Butter," said Fluttershy. "They're all doing very well for themselves. Applejack is a dear friend of mine, and Big Macintosh has grown into a fine young stallion. Apple Bloom's been doing a wonderful job finding her own way since she earned her cutie mark."
"Oh, goodness!" Pear Butter exclaimed. "She got her cutie mark already? That's wonderful!"
Bright Mac beamed, and wiped a tear from his eye. "Our little filly is growing up so fast. It's a darned shame we can't be there for her while it happens."
Pear Butter placed a reassuring hoof on Bright Mac's shoulder. "Come on, sweetheart, there ain't no use fretting over something that's out of our hooves. It ain't like anypony can just come and go from the Elysium as they please."
"True enough," Bright Mac responded. "Ah'm just glad they're living happily."
Fluttershy's ears suddenly began to twitch. "Um... not to interrupt, but did either of you hear something just now?"
"Like what?" said Pear Butter.
Fluttershy didn't need to answer the question. Rather, it was immediately answered for her when the entire house, save for the table, disappeared in a flash of light. All around the space where the house used to be was an assortment of ponies looking on in shock.
Bright Mac let out a yell. "What in tarnation!?"
Another flash of light, and several dozen miniature copies of Discord appeared, each of them dressed in white robes and carrying a trumpet. Each of them possessed a much larger additional pair of wings above Discord's normal wings, white and feathery like a swan rather than the usual mismatched wings of the draconequus, and each had a conspicuous golden halo above their heads that the ponies of the Elysium lacked.
The mini-Discords shooed away the surrounding ponies as they flew into a synchronized aerial formation just outside of where the house would be otherwise. They each blew on their trumpets simultaneously, but the sound that came out was not the sound of an instrument but the sound of a herd of sheep bleating in chorus.
A pillar of golden light appeared from above, and Discord descended from it, arms held out by his sides. As he landed atop the endless cloudscape, his miniature clones flew around him as he approached the table.
Then with a snap of his fingers, another flash of light engulfed the area. The mini-Discords disappeared, and the house was restored to its former existence.
"Welcome to the afterlife, Fluttershy!" Discord announced. "You're dead!"
Fluttershy briefly glanced towards Bright Mac and Pear Butter, who simply gawked at Discord in wide-eyed bewilderment. "Um... yes, I noticed. Discord, what's going on here?"
"I already told you," Discord replied with a grin. "You're dead, this is the afterlife, and I'm God."
Fluttershy's eyes narrowed as she shot Discord a glare. "You are not God!"
Discord waved a hand dismissively. "Blasphemy. You're lucky I don't smite you or cast you out or something. The bottom line is, your life ended about five minutes ago, under the inept ministrations of Doctor Beverly— hold on, something's not right here." A stack of papers appeared in Discord's hands, and he flipped through the large document rapidly. "Oh phooey, I've got the wrong script!"
Fluttershy sighed. "Discord..."
"Oh well," said Discord. He crumpled up the stack of papers and threw it over his shoulder. As it went through the air, the pages separated and folded themselves into a series of origami cranes, which flapped their wings and flew out the window. "Fortunately, as it so happens, I am also a master of improvisation!"
A microphone materialized in Discord's right hand, seemingly unconnected to any speakers or amplifiers. "Hello, is this thing on?" He tapped the microphone with a finger, causing a whine of feedback to sound out of nowhere from a direction that Fluttershy couldn't quite pinpoint. "Yes, there we go! Hello, Elysium! I just flew in from the mortal plane of existence, and boy are my arms tired!"
Discord looked at his self-appointed audience expectantly, but was met only with several seconds of awkward silence. Pear Butter looked over towards Bright Mac, and then back at Discord.
"Beg your pardon, but... don't you have wings?" said Pear Butter. "Why would you use your arms?"
"Ah was just thinking the same thing mahself," said Bright Mac. "Looks like great minds really do think alike!"
Pear Butter let out a giggle. "Oh, stop it! You're such a flatterer!"
"Ugh, why do I always get the tough crowds?" Discord let out a groan, and threw his microphone over his shoulder. Upon hitting the surface of the clouds, it spontaneously sprouted six insectoid legs and skittered into another room.
"Discord, this isn't funny!" Fluttershy blurted out. The entire room went silent as she stared Discord straight in the face. "I... I don't know what's going on with you! I don't know why you're here! I don't know how you could even be here! Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you are, but... I-I don't even think you're actually dead!"
"Dead? Moi?" said Discord. "I am a four-hundred-quintillion-year-old elemental spirit of chaos! The boundaries between life and death are about as meaningless to me as the laws of thermodynamics! I simply wanted to reassure my closest friend that I'm here for her. Is that so wrong?"
"Oh." Fluttershy turned her eyes away. She began to fidget in place, rubbing her hoof against her foreleg. "W-well, that's very nice of you, Discord, but, um... don't you think that's a little bit unfair?"
Discord raised an eyebrow. "Unfair? What do you mean?"
"W-well, it's just... as far as I'm aware, nopony else is capable traveling to the Elysium whenever they want," said Fluttershy. "My friends are probably devastated that I'm gone, and it must be very hurtful for them to think that they won't see me alive again. I'd hate for them to be jealous that you're able to come here and visit me when they can't."
Discord placed a finger to his chin. "Hmm... I hadn't quite thought of it like that. Are you absolutely sure you don't want me to visit you every now and then?"
"Um..." said Fluttershy. "Well, maybe not right now. But I'd love for you to visit once all my friends are here with me, so they wouldn't feel left out. Given how long you've lived, I'm sure it won't be much of a wait for you."
"Well, I'll admit I'll miss getting to see you every week," said Discord. "But I suppose it wouldn't be too much trouble to wait just a little while longer before visiting you again. Oh! And speaking of waiting..." Discord pulled back the skin on his right arm, revealing his bones underneath. Wrapped around his wristbone was a small golden wristwatch, with a picture of himself on the face pointing to the appropriate time. "...It looks like it's almost time for me to attend your funeral. Don't worry, I'll be sure to put on a sad face so I don't offend anyone. Toodles!"
There was one last flash of light, and Discord vanished from the Elysium. Fluttershy looked around, and exchanged a frazzled look with both of her hosts. Finally, she let out a deep sigh.
"...Do you have any cider?"
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... it's too early to have my Feels kicked this hard...
Right in the feels... and the funny bone as well
Dammit discord your supposed to prepare properly, it's the first time seeing fluttershy in the after life and you mess up the script
Also there should be a sequel when the rest of the mane 6 dies and discord goes to see them all. That would be hilarious, I can just imagine the reaction on twilights face
Both funny and tragic. I feel bad for laughing. I really do but I can't stop. *face palm*
I laughed.
Wonderful reference to TNG: Tapestry
Finally -- a positive twist on that whole "outliving" thing, for once!
...........I love that this is a thing, I just hate I never got my version out first. XP Congrats on a good job!
No, that can't be, Discord can't be god. The universe is not so badly designed.
Funny fic, too bad Discord didn't give Fluttershy a chance to go back in time and fix her mistakes, such as not making out with Rainbow Dash when she had a chance.
At least there's little chance of Discord going rogue again after their deaths. Unfortunately for them their afterlives probably won't be that peaceful either.
That is definitely a Discordian Demise Demense.
8385709
... Actually, considering how easily he makes reality do tricks and standup comedy for his amusement, Discord being God, or at least the local God, wouldn't really surprise me. He certainly has the power for it.
Either that, or he and the Tree of Harmony are two halves of what was once God, and he got the lion's share of the more physical powers, while Harmony got the conceptual stuff.
Huh, now I have a new headcanon...
This was pure, unfiltered Discord and I love it.
Y'know, i kinda feel sorry for whoever has to keep reality in check in Equestria.
Between discord and Pinkie's antics and Twilight's knack for attracting and/or dealing with ancient eldritch abominations and world altering lunatics with too much raw magic (No offense, Starlight) it's a wonder they haven't run out of replacements for all these broken dimensional walls and natural boundaries.
Also, sheep-trumpet, totally need to get me one of those.
I feel like this needs a sequel. The rest of the Mane 6 trying to comfort Discord, and he's trying to act sad without blurting out the funniest thing Fluttershy said during their tea party last week.
This was the perfect combination of touching and hilarious. Have your 100th like.
Maybe the others would be a little bit jealous of Discord, but I would think that they would feel better knowing that she's doing great and that they now have another chance to say goodbye (maybe have Discord give her a letter from all of them). Hell, he should mention that she's hanging out with Applejack's parents just to throw Applejack for a loop.
That was a great Star Trek episode.
Oh, right in the feels!
Oh wait, right in the funny bone. Eh, go figure.
Great story!
8386611
PUNS NO I CANT HANDLE
*BLEH*
Sequel. Also, Discord's gonna be waiting a long time, you know, like forever before seeing Fluttershy again because of Twilight.
Discord is definitely hard to write, but you pulled it off pretty well! Kudos.
A fantastic balance of solemnity and hilarity, neither cloying nor excessively over the top. Great use of the Apple parents, and the TNG reference was delicious icing on the cake.
Also, I have to admit, you did surprise me. I was expecting the trumpets to sound like kazoos.
Thank you for this.
When you're friends with Discord, you have a friend for
lifeever. :)I see what you did there. ;)
Okay I had to look at the comments a few times to finally realize the tng joke
8387063
Now you've done it! You've given Discord a reason to want Twilight dead! Hijinks ensuing in 3 - 2 -...
I have never experienced a beloved character's death in such a positive way before. Well done.
And then Discord killed them all, such a happy ending
8388071
He can't do that, though, since when Twilight tells Fluttershy who killed her, Fluttershy won't be friends with Discord anymore. 
I guess Discord's lost Fluttershy either way. 
8387063
Discord claims to be more than 28 billion times older than the estimated age of the universe itself. Waiting until the literal end of the world probably won't be too much trouble for him, at least if you were to take his word for it.
8388557
P.S. I'd personally choose the latter, as that's funnier in this situation. 
Well, true, but technically it's possible that the Alicorns will still live after that. They are immortal, after all. Whether that means they can't die by natural causes or that they literally can't die no matter what, is up to you to decide.
8388483
That's why Discord sets up countless Rube-Goldberg machines to try and kill Twilight, only to give up when they all fail and get random other ponies, literally throwing in the towel ... that then hits Twilight and somehow kills her.
Any idea on how Fluttershy died? If it was sudden, maybe a heart attack? Or preferably something quick and painless.
Good old discord. One of the most fun mlp characters of them all.
8389136
This was good.
funny. I like it.
8389957 She was gruesomely devoured alive by Parasprites that Twilight messed up a spell on and turned into tiny versions of Langoliers.
8388557 He's still younger than Stan Lee.
8455285
Twiggles, you inequine monster!
8455292 Oh she only suffered for, like... a minute... two tops.
Button Mash, on the other hoof... what horrible way to go...
8455329
GAME OVER
Continue?
>Yes
No
First I cried. Then I laughed. Then I cried from laughing so hard. Get me off this rollercoaster we call
lifeDiscord Visits the Afterlife!8387892
That freakin' episode aired in 1993 - why the hell does he still have that script?!?
Yeah, sounds about right for the god of chaos. Loved it.
8490009
If you had that script would you have gotten rid of it?
8564408
................... No. No I guess I wouldn't. Fair enough. XD
I seriously thought that after this Discord would simply teleport everypony from the funeral there and cheerfully proclaim that the problem was solved. While everypony gaped and freak-out and Applejack's parents happily went to talk with their children.
That last line. I swear, that last line! Genius!
lol, Great short story! I half expected Discord to just, take Fluttershy back to attend her own funeral LOL!