Discord, the lord of chaos, former spirit of disharmony and agent of misery for ponykind. Ageless being with unlimited powers that nopony can hope to match.
When Sombra aimed his spell at Fluttershy, Discord had a split-decision to make. Take the spell head-on or let his dearest friend suffer serious injury if not death.
He didn't know how bad the spell would affect him or how much it would hurt, but he knew there was no choice.
He jumped.
Page generated in 0.193 seconds
Total duration
762 users online
859,227 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Nicely structured, and it does make me squee in remembrance of that whole adorable scene. You unfortunately used lowercase letters when beginning the dialogue sentences and you misspelled pegasus (not pegasi, and the plural is pegasai). Other than that, it shows some promise. Just needs a little work on the sentence structures.
9552006
Fair enough and thanks for the feedback. It is this kind of feedback that helps me improve. I am not editing this chapter immediately, for obvious reasons, but future chapters will be written with your words in mind.
9552010
9552006
Actually, pegasi is the proper word for multiple pegasus ponies per the MLP Wiki, though I'm not sure how it's spelled in the DVD/Netflix closed captioning.
9552303
Oh, weird. I never knew that.
9552349
it's fine. I still appreciate the help.
9552303
and thanks to you for helping correcting the mistake.
The only other thing I would bring up is to be careful about capitalization on character names.
And I do hope that you'll make this a series. I would love to see where it goes!
9565394
But names should be capitalized.
That is one of the rules of capitalization. Nouns, which includes names of specific people, are capitalized.
Still thanks for the thought.
9565454
I only brought it up because twice names weren't capitalized.
9565758
ahh ok.
Sorry, misunderstood your comment and thanks for the help. I will watch out for that in the future.
More PLEASE
Shy: oooh my look at the poor dear. Looks like this is a job for nurse fluttershy~
Discord: fever goes way up
I would like to order a family sized portion from column (A) please.