"Hi! I'm Nugget, and I'm your friend to the end. Haydeeho! Ha ha ha!"
The Writers' Group56,606 stories ·9,307 members
One-Shots18,949 stories ·2,370 members
Dark8,359 stories ·3,769 members
Slice of Life8,183 stories ·1,466 members
Short Stories5,083 stories ·548 members
Based on the ride "The Tower of Terror" at separate Disney parks.
You are a stallion. You've been running for quite some time, trying to get out of a thunderstorm. Within the outskirts of Canterlot, you happen to find a hotel. However, you notice there's something quite strange about this place.
Co-Written & Edited by tommal
Page generated in 0.449 seconds
Total duration
937 users online
530,012 hits today, 2,921,617 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Maybe I might continue this one later.
8359717
Please do, i'm pretty intrigued by this and think there is a lot of potential here
Oh yeah, i spotted one small mistake :
Shouldn't it be “ it'd “ not “it's“? Or leave out the “be“.
Might be wrong though.
Very interesting... and well developed atmosphere.
Caught the references for the episodes "Where is Everybody?", "Twenty-Two" and "Of Late I Think of Cliffordville" from the original Twilight Zone series.
8359735
Fixed, and thank you. Also, I forgot to add the "mystery" tag as well.
8359749
I love the "Twilight Zone!"
"It's a Good Life" is probably my favorite episode from the series.
It's alright, having been on the Tower of Terror ride I got the references. However it felt short, and though the atmosphere is there it could have been described more in depth.
Also to those who haven't been on the ride itself this story may be confusing. The biggest problem though is the lack of describing the hotel scenery itself. The transition feels too quick, and the lack of descriptiveness is a just something that annoys me personally. The story didn't feel suspenseful or scary to me, there just wasn't enough there to make me feel the slightest bit spooked.
The premise is good, it just felt more Budget B Movie Motel of Screams ripoff than Tower of Terror Feature Film.
I would like to see this idea expanded on in a future story, it shows promise; but it's not quite there yet.
Glen Gorewood
8359805
Nice review.
However, I didn't write it as a suspense fic (So, you're right in that aspect). If you take it a little bit further than the story itself, you might see it a something you really need to think about. I, the writer, am not wanting to spook the reader, but instead, get them thinking. Sure, the elements within this fic could have been explored a little bit more, that wasn't my intention.
In other words, this was written to give you, the reader, a primus for thought.
- Nugget
8359813
Ahh, so it's more of a visualize what could happen or occur from the idea you set up type of story. Interesting premise, and it leaves open the opportunity for others to go different directions off of the scenario you created.
Well I'll go and think on it for a bit, though I do hope you create some possible iterations of Room 22's form in the future. It has potential, quite a lot of potential.
Glen Gorewood
8359833
I will, and thank you for the positive comments as well.
Believe me when I say I've got a lot of ideas spinning around the directions "Room 22" could take.
- Nugget
I think this needs a 2nd person tag.
8359842
If that's the case why don't you make a short story collection about past occupants of Room 22? Maybe show some of the possibilities, or what it has done in the past. That way you can explore multiple possibilities without worry of diverging from the end result of the "original" story itself.
I actually am curious about the other rooms in this hotel, are they similar or are their effects different?
I'm trying to think of this tv series that had a premise like this. It was a mini series about a motel room, reality warping objects, and some insane reality altering experiment with a very special key. I think it was called "The Room" or something like that. Everybody who entered the room without the key encountered something different, but the person with the key saw the real room in its pocket dimension.
My apologies for rambling on, it's just the more I think about this premise of yours, the more my mind spawns possibilities. It's quite exciting.
Glen Gorewood
8359850
You're right. I really undertaged this story by mistake.
8359862
All the rooms are the same for a reason I'm not going to tell anybody.
Let me just say I wouldn't open Room 22. Why?
8359868
I am getting Rose Red vibes from you, with a touch of a few classic haunted hotel and mansion movies added in. This is very exciting, I will follow you if I haven't already just so I can know when you publish another story about Room 22.
Glen Gorewood
The first second-person story I ever read, and I think it is your best mystery. There is just so much mystery in this story! But it simply cannot end like this!
this story reminded me of the twilight zone