One lovely day in Ponyville an unscheduled storm approaches. Despite the best efforts of the weather team, the storm arrived anyway. Upon its arrival it unleashes a deluge of..Cupcakes?
Which leads to Twilight being mightily confused over pastries falling from the sky. But as her friends are happy to point out, this isn't the first storm of it's kind in Ponyville.
In fact it seems unusual things raining from storm clouds is an annual event. Cupcakes being the least worrisome of objects to rain down upon the town.
Chapters (1)
This was mechanically fine, for the most part. There were a few missed commas and strange structuring choices, but that's something that can only really be hammered out with time. Some examples include:
Which, unless I'm mistaken, should read more like:
There's a few ways to structure that sentence that's more visibly pleasing. You also seem to suffer from a mild form or Purple Unicorn Syndrome. For example...
This sentence is wholly unnecessary, rendered doubly moot by your referring to Rainbow by name earlier in the story. You do something similar with Twilight nearer the end. These are but some of your mechanical problems in what is an otherwise functional story.
Conceptionally, I have more pressing issues. For one, this story isn't especially funny. There's not so much a punchline to the joke, or even a joke at all, unless you consider "there are cupcakes falling from the sky for no reason at all" to be a joke. Granted, this is probably the most negligible part of this comment. Humor is subjective, so this might be genuinely amusing to some people that aren't me. What is harder to ignore, however, is the entire premise of this story. This feels very "season 1-ish" so to speak. It feels like you had this idea about four to six years too late. Twilight has been in Ponyville for long enough to realize that it's a weird town, and her reaction is more in-line with what you might expect from her pre-"Feeling Pinkie Keen". Frankly, your most damnable offense in this story is that it's kinda boring. Nothing really happens.
The long and short of this comment is to say: The fic itself was decently written, albeit needing a bit of TLC. At its core, it's a bit boring and you would do better with more creative, focused ideas.
Fun little one shot. Its sort of bizarre that Twilight would have lived in Ponyville so long and never seen this event. I do love how everyone else is just so calm, however.
On a side note, aloe smells pretty pungent if its been freshly cut. I guess Rarity really would do anything for beauty's sake.
8358903
Thank you so much for your comment and review. Especially your notes about where the story falls overall and certain unnecessary wording bits. I did try to edit out most of those before publishing, so I appreciate things I missed being spotted. I'll try to fix those in the morning.
The cupcakes raining from the sky is a part of a weather phenomenon related to the Everfree forest, inspired by actual phenomenon in real life where odd things fall from the sky. In real life frogs tend to be carried by storms to different areas where they fall alongside rain. It is very rare, but it happens.
However this version of it is intended to be related to the old magic of the Everfree. Hence Discord commenting the weather has always done this, and it wasn't him. Wild magic randomly generates unusual storms.
The great Frosting Flood mentioned isn't an actual weather phenomenon. It's actually a reference to the London Beer Flood of 1814.
As for the season one feel, that was intentional. I wanted this story to be a little different from my normal works. So the goal was to have this set in an earlier season. My apologies if I missed the boat six years ago on that.
Plus I haven't caught up past the middle of Season Six yet, and felt nostalgic. Give me a few months and I'll be up to speed on the current season.
As for the humor, comedy is subjective and very hit or miss.
Thank you again for your feedback.
Glen Gorewood
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Well the idea was based off a relatively rare weather phenomenon in real life. Which as I mentioned in my authors note I've actually witnessed, but with earthworms not cupcakes. It's actually a really interesting topic that could be explored easily in the MLPverse.
I'd think that Twilight either wasn't there for prior Ponyville Specials, or off doing something. This story is set a bit earlier in the series as well, pre ascension and shortly after keep calm and flutter on. Considering Twilight does visit Canterlot and travel a bit, it's not impossible to imagine she simply missed prior events since she arrived.
Ponyville as a whole treats this event as normal, so they likely wouldn't think to mention it. Similar to how some towns experience the occasional cow breaking into a store, or that seagull in Britain that steals crisps out of the same convenience store every other day. To Ponyville residents it's just a thing that happens, and not worth mentioning unless asked.
Some towns have yearly land crab migrations, Ponyville has Everfree magic triggered chaotic storms that drop random objects on the town.
Oh yes, Rarity was indeed dancing in the rain during the Aloe Vera Storm. Where else do you think she got so much of it?
Glen Gorewood
This was a really epic and dabby storie
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Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Glen Gorewood
This story was hilarious. A silly little tale about why Ponyville can drive the sane into madness.
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I'm glad you enjoyed it.
No sane person, pony, griffins, ling, and beyond would ever expect freak storms dropping random objects from the sky to be considered "normal" by an entire town. But this is Ponyville.
Glen Gorewood
Its rainin' cupcakes! Hallelujah! Its rainin' cupcakes! Aman!
8359964
You got the reference!
Have a cupcake, it's rainbow berry.
Glen Gorewood
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Yay! Cupcakes!
That was a good story.