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Pinkie is running Sugarcube Corner while the Cake family is off visiting family. Like any other day filled with baked treats, she is up long before sunrise to get everything made for the day. Of course, not everything goes as planned when Discord suddenly pops in to order a special cake. Pinkie is more than happy to make the cake though; after all, how hard can it be?
For a longfic contest from SPark and The Monthly Contest Club
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Awww, poor Pinkie. ((First comment! Yay!)) This was very funny and cute, obvious FlutterCord, but I think Discord would be a little more playful than he acted here. The one other thing I wanted to bring up was this line:
That seems a tad more sensible than Pinkie's usual line of thought. Maybe delete the line about "It probably just tastes like hair".
Other than that, great job! Keep on writing!
8306569
Thank you for your opinions, firstly.
Secondly, I do partially agree that it seems like a bit more sensible than Pinkie can be in her line of thought, which probably rarely makes sense, but at the same time, in my mind at least, I could easily see Pinkie saying something like this with Twilight in the background rolling her eyes. And of course, Pinkie would be giggling the whole way XD But I do understand where you came from and I will give it proper consideration before deciding which course to take, whether to leave it or remove it.
Thirdly, yes Discord could have been more playful, and I originally was going to go with that route as well, but then I realized if I started writing too much about Discord, it would never end. Discord and Maud are my two favorite characters, so I try to not overdo them in my stories for fear of them, for lacking of better words, running rampant. I originally had some juggling and fireworks and a few other things in mind for part of Discords presence, but I subtracted them because it was a bit too over the top, even if it was very Discord. I wanted to make it so he was only concerned about the cake, and the fact it was for Fluttershy. I decided to tone him down a little because he is not the purely chaotic need-to-be-turned-to-stone Discord, but the much more "reformed" Discord lol
Otherwise, thanks for the advice and thanks for reading!
Dear princess
molestiacelestia:Today I learned that when you are sad, you should read happy stories. Today I read a story that was amazingly funny. It was also filled with fluffy fluttercord moments. When you combine those two, especially when they are combined by a high quality writer, it will lead to sudden and painless death. Today I died from fluff and laughter. Please warn others of what happens when they read something as good as this story.
PS: the afterlife really sucks. Now I see why you prefer to stay immortal.
Sincerely, Ponybird21
Oh...my...god Discord
Pfft xD This was hilarious.
And, of course, I always love more tsundecord fluttercord. The voice was great for both Discord and Pinkie (along with his trolling).Love seeing their relationship from a different perspective ;)
Build me a cake worthy of Mordor
Discord is best troll! #Distroll
Hello, I have reviewed your work! I thank you for all the work you put into creating this piece, and I hope you find this review to be helpful.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/211585/reviewers-cafe/thread/308771/reviews?page=4#comment/6105480
Hiyas! The contest results are finally up. Sorry for it taking so long!
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/201746/the-monthly-contest-club/thread/321112/august-longfic-contest-begin-again?page=2#comment/6124544
i love how ominously vague this is.
this story is really cute. i really liked pinkie and discord's interactions. They feel really in character at points, which of course is always appreciated !! at first i thought something bad was going to happen to the cake, but the ending was enjoyably humorous :)