Chapter 6
Reporters lined the lawns outside the mansion home of Twilight Sparkle. They have been told today was going to be big and to be prepared for a long night after this press conference was over. After nearly losing two of their own to nerves about what the grand mage could be revealing through her assistant today they made note of the presence of both princesses, the expected dragon, and the up and coming star of enchanting and gem craft, Rarity. Also noticeable to all gathered was the empty space at the podium set up to make an announcement.
“No way.” The first to see what was coming was a particularly eagle eyed pegasus photographer by the name of Polaroid. As his colleagues began to look around for what he had seen they saw the doors to the mansion open. Out into the light of day strode Twilight Sparkle herself for the first time in nearly five years. All about her form were bits of metal, gem, and in some cases bone and all were catching the light as she approached to the podium. A few earrings in either ear, bangles and bracelets about her legs, choker about her neck, a netting of some delicate metal about her horn, and doubtlessly some horse shoes that they could not make out caught attention from the assembled. Here and there on what bits of her bare flesh they could see were tattooed symbols of no doubt arcane significance in a color not unlike those of her friend’s eyes. An interesting meeting indeed.
“It is with a happy heart I am here to share some news with you all. Thanks to the efforts of several friends and allies I can finally set hoof outside my rooms within the mansion. We are happy to tell you that the primary danger has passed and that I will be taking a more active role in the fields once more. The accouterments you see upon me are equalizing my ability to store my magic to that of my ability to generate it. The whole rig represents some of our best advancements in the fields relating to magical containment, restraint, enchanting, and a few more besides.” Twilight smiled for the benefit of the reporters. “Now then, are there any questions?”
A female unicorn waved a hoof for attention and asked her question once Twilight nodded to her. “Ma’am, if we understand everything correctly does this mean we will be seeing more of you in town?”
“Not yet I’m afraid. What we have rigged here is but the initial stage. It works well enough that I can leave my room and enjoy the grounds here but it could fail if I am upset enough. In such cases I have to be near my home so I can get into the sealed room in case something happens. No worries though for our friends, the dragons, have offered to help us get the metals we will need to create something that can withstand the results of my burning raw mana when upset.”
A male unicorn writing for the paper at the Princesses’ School is the next to get Twilight’s attention. “Does this mean we need to be investing in heart medicine for the staff of those over in the research labs at the school?”
Twilight began to laugh before she started to answer him.
The poor stallion was not happy. His boss had sent him here to the section of Canterlot best described as squalid in his mind. He approached a seemingly random ally and waited for something to happen.
A multi-toned voice spoke to the stallion from the shadows of the alley resulting in him turning to see what had snuck upon him. “So you are the one hiring, yes?” The stallion's eyes could make out green eyes on a tall unicorn. He assumed it was a mare from the voice.
“Yes. There is a thorn that needs to be removed in this city. Have you ever heard of a mare named Rarity?”
The eyes light up in amusement even as the voice from the alley responds. “Oh yes we have. It is understood she is an up and comer in several fields. You do realize the price will be high for such a target, yes?”
“We are prepared to pay any price you ask.”
“Excellent.”
Rarity sighed in exhaustion as she gazed upon her creation. She had to borrow a dress form from a friend in order to plot out all the pieces and their places but she was almost done. As such she was currently in the middle of her shop working since there was not that much room in Twilight’s chambers left. The metal the dragons had provided could stand up not only to Twilight’s occasional temper flare ups but also proved to be some of the best mana guides they had ever acquired. After all this was over arrangements were going to be made to get more and put it to use wiring up the city.
The entire assemblage that Twilight would need was almost ready with most of it being similar to what she had worn merely three months ago at the press conference. A jeweled head dress would sweep before her hair and hanging from it was a net of all sorts of jewels all micro-engraved to alter the flow of energy around the one who wore it. A similar netting was prepared that would drape over Twilight’s tail as well. It was going to be beautiful once it was finished. Rarity just knew it needed one final thing. The great thing was that their studies indicated that not only would this thing protect Twilight from her own power but it would turn her into a veritable walking fortress. Something that Rarity began to worry about as time progressed in the presence of her friend was that she would make quite a few enemies among those who preferred her bound where she could not look into what they were doing. ‘Well this thing just needs to have Twilight charge it up and we can take it for a spin.’
In spite of everything there was still a problem Rarity knew needed to be address. This whole thing was just one giant enchantment housing with no intelligence to it. It would always work at its full strength which was not necessarily what was desired as there would need to be times it could adjust to fluctuations in environment or Twilight herself. Another is that there was just something missing in the looks of the whole thing. Perhaps she could finish the whole thing out with a bit of flair.
As Rarity was busy creating a bezel setting for that fragment of tourmaline she had been keeping since the day she got her cutie mark she failed to notice the buzz that accompanied a green magic aura lifting a window in the back of her shop. As she used some filament of mythril to attach it to the head dress piece so that it would dangle from it just below Twilight’s horn she did not register the sound of gossamer wings flying above her. After a moment she stepped back to observe what she had made just in time to hear a spell and see a flash of green. In her next moment the world was agony as something pierced her through her barrel.
She never heard her assassin approach to steal her creation as she fell to the floor bleeding. 'No! So close. I almost had it finished. I can’t let it end here. I have to see my friend finally free.’
“You angered some powerful ponies helping that purple terror. Don’t worry though, I’m sure my boss would love to look over your pretty creation here. Why, we could advance our own magic knowledge by at least a dozen magnitudes just studying what has been done to this.” The hooves of her attacker being all Rarity could make out of them in the dark. They had holes through a dark coat near as she could tell.
‘Not going to let you take it. If I charge it the thing will protect itself from anyone other than Twilight or Spike. No time to waste. I’ll have to do it. I just hope Spike can get it to Twilight tomorrow morning.’ “Not happening.” Rarity with all the will and energy she possessed in her currently dying body attempted to charge the creation. Her eyes turned red and green and her magic began to reach into herself to pluck out what made her unique and then shoved it into the gem she had just attached to the assemblage.
The sudden flash of magic confused the aggressor and made him step back. When his vision cleared the dying unicorn was missing. He knew that was not a teleportation spell as there was no signature such spells left behind. Taking it for a last desperate attempt to stop him that failed, he sent his magic to snatch up as much of the creation as he could in his magic. As soon as his magic touched it he felt it begin to seep away from him. Failing to take it with magic he tried to remove it with his hooves only to find he could get no purchase on it. Realizing that the flash of light would attract attention he finally gave the thing up for a failure and left.
From inside the newly mounted tourmaline gem a small spot of blue could be seen. If one knew how to listen they would hear the voice of a particular unicorn sighing in relief. “Oh dear, I think I might have made a hasty decision.”
The next morning Spike arrived at the shop to find Rarity’s creation for Twilight assembled and looking more alive in the light of the room than it had the last time he had seen it. Figuring that it had something to do with the tricks of artistry the unicorn had applied in the final touches he began to box it up to bring to Twilight. He really hoped Rarity would be here but thankfully she had left him a key to the store in case she was ever out and he needed to get something for her or even a quick snack depending on the situation. Seeing no sign of the mare or struggle, he assumed she had gotten involved in something with a client and had to step out. He would deliver the goods to Twilight and they would wait until the evening when Rarity came home to place it upon their friend.
When Rarity did not show up that evening Twilight was rather distraught. "Someone must have done something to her, Spike."
"Well Twilight, our best choice is to look into this ourselves. I doubt they could hide anything from your magic after all."
"But I can't go running about the city myself."
"You can now." Spike pointed out the box containing the assemblage.
Twilight realized what he was trying to tell her. Nodding her head she began to get dressed up as she had come to think of putting on the odd things Rarity had made for her. Just before she finished she noticed the odd blue spot in the gem that would hang below her horn. "That is kind of odd. I don't think I've ever seen that before." Once everything was in place Twilight noticed something was wrong. "Spike, this thing is already active."
"That can't be possible. Only you or the princesses could charge the thing."
"I can explain that dears." A voice the two recognized spoke up. After a moment a white figure with purple hair and some markings about its form began to appear before the two.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Thornwing · 120k words · 46 3 · 997 views
Stats
Page generated in 0.25 seconds
Total duration
673 users online
1,397,790 hits today, 2,732,798 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Suprised no one has commented on this story. I liked it. Especially the end which was hinted at much earlier. So nice payoff there. Also nice to see it wasn't overly permanent except for the wearers lifespan.
8225274
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
8225397
I hope you plan on a sequel. Blueblood needs to get a serious case of justice.
8225526
I'm tempted to make it a universe for me to play in with other stories so the chance of a sequel is there. However, that will have to wait. I've already got a backlog of ideas I haven't written yet to work through. A toss up between Twilight Velvet was Chrysalis all along and the consequences there of or Twilight becoming an alicorn had unexpected consequences due to her being a bit more of one of the guys in her youth.
8225650
Oh I say explore it. There is a lot to be done with it! Revenge on Blueblood, Assassins, the other girls and where are they? Shining Armor could become a plot point as he could easily play Sherlock Holmes and try to figure out who 'offed' Rarity. Maud could easily become a significant character as she goes looking herself the killer of a rare friend she would have and I could easily see Twilight trying to resurrect Rarity into a new body. And Celestia and Luna themselves would have entirely different outlooks as it seems as Twilight is now coming out of isolation and there plans for her can finally begin.
I really enjoyed the world you created here. The ideas and story you put forward here are smart and entertaining! My only criticisms would be that the story could use some fleshing out. I understand that you had to keep it under a certain word count for the contest, but maybe once the contest is over, it might be worth it to add more scenes and details, rather that leave it up to the readers imagination to fill in the blanks. Also, there were a few scenes where it would jump from one character to another as far as who was speaking, and was a touch difficult to follow who said what at times.
Otherwise I think you have a great alternate universe set up here with interesting roles for the characters, and I hope to see more of this world if you decide to continue it!
This was chock full of interesting ideas, but I'd say two major things: first, the quality of the writing isn't advanced enough to convey them properly, and second, some of the logic and the ending left me grasping at straws for explanations. I would be very interested in reading more of this and possibly even in helping you edit; there are a lot of different wording and set up options to make the story more immersive. It's a brilliant idea, really, it just needs polish...and to not end on a major cliffhanger, imo.
I really enjoyed this story and I hope that you will continue with more stories set in this universe. There are some very good Alternate Universes here on FIMfiction. And I think that yours will add much to the richness of this site.
Thank you for your excellent work.
I was wondering... since the contest is over do you think you could redo the story and expland it with more detail? Cause it would be EPIC if you did!!! Also you are a monster for not giving a proper ending.-_- Evil I tell you EVIIIIIIILLLLLLLLL!!!! Great story tho!! XP
8588999
Probably not because I already have three new stories in planning and should have already typed one up last week but have been too lazy. However I might eventually get onto a sequel to this. I have ideas concerning the other characters in this setting and future events for those that were in this one.
Wait, that's the end? O.o That's not an end... is the implication that Rarity somehow ascended? Because otherwise, it feels like something more is missing.
8721407
Not quite ascended but is now the spirit in Twilight's little rig here. She can manifest as a bit of a ghostly projection near Twilight. I would have went longer but there was a word limit to the contest and I was afraid I was going to go over it so I cut it off there.
8721420
I'd have rather you rushed to some kind of ending than just stop. :/ I wonder if you'd be willing to come back to this sometime and pick up where it left off. That's an awfully interesting place to take things, after all.
8721603
I do plan to return to this. I've been plotting what has happened in the lives of the other elements and such with the plan of a sequel so they can get pulled into things too. Just haven't managed to muster up the motivation for it yet.
8721713
Let me know if you do. :)
9584802
"imposing" would be read in this context as an adjective meaning "grand and impressive in appearance", not a verb meaning "to impose".
"an imposition" means "a thing that is imposed, in particular an unfair or unwelcome demand or burden"