Shining Armor is afraid Cadence might be upset that he unknowingly had sex with Chrysalis for several weeks. Instead, she wants to hear all about it. She even has a few other ideas, or mares, she'd like to see him pursue. A lot of impregnation ensues
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hmm wasn't Shining in her mouth?
one
Welp, I was really enjoying this, but the treatment of Twilight is such a turnoff--in fact, so rage-inducing--that I guess I'm out.
8506175
What exactly was rage inducing about her treatment? I appreciate feedback but that's a bit too vague to act on. It sounds like it might just be something poorly worded causing a misconception, but can't make corrections without more details.
My thought line during this was that people often complain that characters change their mind too fast, so Twilight should be very reluctant to accept Chrysalis. I also know there are a lot of episodes with a similar concept: character x has a misconception that they cling to until they're forced to face that they're wrong. So I gave Twilight a chance to learn that Chrysalis was playfully antagonizing and not outright evil, and then have 6.9 where she fully accepts things after learning how the whole ponynapping idea came about, That way I could do the becoming an alicorn shenanigans next chapter without having the question of why Twilight doesn't freak out when Chrysalis shows up during it. I couldn't think of a way of depicting that as a pleasant thing for Twilight otherwise.
If you liked the chapters before this, I do hope you read chapter seven which comes soon. Don't let one bad episode ruin the series for you![:rainbowkiss:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/rainbowkiss.png)
8506165
I didn't catch the Shining/Night dick position (thanks for that), but I caught the "little one" in the GDrive...hmm, that's weird. Thanks though.
8506175
What exactly do you not like about her treatment? I'll tell you now, the next three chapters should take less time to come out, so maybe her situation gets fixed? I dunno, it depends on what you don't like.
8506165
That swallowing was by her head end. I reworded it to make that more clear.
Thanks for catching things as always!
I think this would be not wanting freedom or something like that?
are means that multiple are male, but I thought there was only one?
I don't think by is supposed to be there.
8506252
I guess in a way is has this uncomfortable sense of "Twilight is emotionally distressed about the situation, and everyone who should care is basically invalidating her." It's kind of a weird place in humour that doesn't always work for everyone I suppose.
This entire chapter was hilarious, from the nerf bat to the parents. Still not a fan of incest, but I can overlook it for this many lulz.
8506165
8506868
Thanks for catching so much all the time
Snrk, nice. And kinky.
A nerf bat, the most dangerous weapon.
'You guys have fun just… have fun efficiency' - efficiently
'The ground their bodies' - They ground
8531028
Chrysalis' nerf-fu is strong.
I was kinda expecting Twilight to get some sort of "reward" for knowing the right answer. I also think maybe a little bit less sex and more plot could actually make it hotter.
8847892
What kind of reward?
Not sure what kind of plot to include in this either. Some people got the impression that there was a plot that was going somewhere, so I am considering making an additional chapter to hammer something in, just not yet sure what to do or how.