Sweetie Belle asks Rarity about love.
So Rarity tries to explain it in way that won't be confusing.
But could this sly little filly have another reason for this question?
My own take on the story published by Evictus.
This story is a gift for Evictus. Not done with any mean spirit in mind, I give 100% of this to him to do with as he pleases.
I found his idea really interesting and cute i just wanted to pick out the mistakes and place out in the spotlight what I thought was a good story.
Rated T for very mild use of the term sex.
Chapters (1)
Ah, a story rewrite, I see. I've done that before for Evictus, and it nearly ended up getting featured.
Still a couple minor errors, but by far it's a pretty big jump from the original.
A much improved story, with a sweet ending.
(And wow, you must have written that fast!) I also appreciate your twist on Rarity's previous blatant homophobia :3
8122592 Lol.
I'm going to rewrite his stories if I see promise of a story in it. Maybe that will help show him he can improve what is hidden there in plain sight.
you should do these for more of Evictus's fics, god knows there's a lot of these that deserve the "upgraded" treatment
inb4 Evictus gets pissy about this
8122607 THE REWRITING DUO! BRINGING LIGHT TO THE BLANDNESS OF THE LAND!
8122603 I can push out a 1,000 easy. I just tend to sit on my ideas for days before posting.
I'm what is known as a Do Over writer lol.
I just did this for fun, the story is here he just needs help finding it.
8122610 I'm going to update his fics, if I see a story in them.
He has decent ideas, just I get a small feeling he doesn't like the work of making them shine.
He's more focused on rushing them out.
I hope he can see that the story is there, maybe he can improve my example.
8122617 Lol he is a decent writer.
Some people you can talk about things to teach them, Others do better if the example is shown to them.
I know he can do better and I so want to see him do so.
8122630 Aye, but first; he needs to listen to the flamin' advice we are giving him. Still, this is a good story.
8122640 Lol I know.
But maybe being told doesn't help, maybe he needs to be shown?
Okay. Fuck it. I'm going to do a rewrite of an Evictus story too.
*edit*
Wow. I can't even spell Evictus.... I put Ectivus. That's not a word.
I'd like to do a rewrite, if I could get permission & find a suitable story.
8122607 Good luck with that. For what it's worth, this is a pretty good remake of the original.
8122645 Maybe. He's got potential to improve yes but for the love of god after giving him a three paragraph comment to help him improve and then he said he would and then for him to release that travesty that was 'Crime'... I'm not kidding when I say it gives me the shudders of how angry it made me.
Hopefully, this will finally drive the nail home. Or, he proves me right when I came to the conclusion that he is a troll.
8122670 What if we all did a collab rewrite combining like, five or so of Evictus' stories???
8122670 Lol just do a re-write that is your own take on his story.
The original of this own was so bland it wasn't filled out at all, I looked through it and picked out what coud be made into a story.
8122691 Interesting idea. Time permitting, I may be up for that. How about we pick three each or something, and go for it? (Again, with permission of course)
Wow, this story is doing pretty well! Maybe we've found Evictus's true calling... as an ideas man!
8122708 Yup. I already rewrote his "Thief" story a few weeks back.
Why?
8122850 At this point, it's pretty much just a for-fun challenge to rewrite stories.
Rewriting an Evictus story....WHY HAVEN'T I THOUGHT OF DOING THAT???
Very good for a rush job. There's a few minor errors, and this glorious Freudian slip:
You know, I've been thinking of rewriting some of Evictus's stories too. Definitely more productive and healthier than a drinking game.
Instead, I simply tried to recreate a story in his inimitable style only with more self-awareness. It got a fair amount of love.
I hope he doesn't get too upset at people improving his work and cry to the admins.
8122865
He thrives on the attention, most likely.
8122865 Lol. I'm not putting him down or anything, just showing under all the mistakes a story was there.
8122872 - That's definitely true. I only know one writer here who thrives on hate, but that guy (DKM)'s a massive jerk while Evictus is oddly civil… except for that meltdown a few weeks ago that got him banned and made him change his handle.
The thing that drives me up the wall about him is that, more often than not, he'll have a good story idea but the total lack of talent or care or whatever to make it work. And since he refuses to improve, you want to take the idea yourself and fix it.
8122890 - No, I agree with you. See my above paragraph.
8122890
8122900
There are no bad ideas, only bad executions.
--some human, probably
8122900 I can so agree with that.
8122936 It would be funny if I had an alt account by the name of "Evictus 2.0" or something, just for the sake of rewriting every one of their stories and putting them in a place where they won't get mixed.
Why would you be so cruel?? Mocking another creator because they can't write as well as you can?? Pathetic. Outragious. Completely inappropriate. I hope you enjoy that big ego of yours. I hope you enjoy it when someone makes fun of you when you write a bad fic. Have fun sucking your own cock tonight!!!
8123169 I'm not mocking anyone.
Nothing would make me happier than if evictus improved his craft. He has interesting ideas, just a rough time writing them out.
if anything i hope he can use this as a template to help see how he can improve, some learn by reading others can learn by seeing.
Big ego? I think not...I whipped this up in like seven minutes. Basically what I thought I could pick out from the grammar mistakes.
the only thing I might have added is the downplay on sexual negativity.
8123169 - The last time I saw that insult was about 20 years ago when a prep named Brad said it to me for daring to sit at the popular kids' table.
With all due respect, I don't think you understand what's going on here. Many of us like the writer in question – I'll freely admit to enjoying a few of his stories unironically, and I've got very little against him as a person (though he did say some really sketchy things a few weeks ago). However, nearly everyone here has offered to help him and given good-faith constructive criticism which he has to date ignored. It gets frustrating to see zero improvement after over 170 one-shots – leading some to suspect the poor writing may be deliberate.
Like Undyne, nothing would make me happier than to see the original author improve his work like he often promises (yet fails) to do. He has good ideas, especially when he gets off his soapbox - e.g. Rarity's homophobia in the original story.
8122592 witch one?
8123169 I've rewritten a story by Evictus as well, even allowing him to preread it for me. We don't rewrite stories just to pat our own backs, but rather to try to improve. Not only ourselves, however, but others as well.
It's unfortunate that Evictus is a slow learner, but there have been a few signs of improvement recently, and I believe that it may be directly related to everything we as a community do to help each other out.
8123388 This one. I rewrote their story, "Thief".
8123169 m8 I'm sorry I'm trying to take you seriously here but everything about you is edgy: this comment, your profile description, I mean for god's sake man
don't be so damn salty - what got you so triggered that you had to post a comment in "mentally regressive" mode?
your repetitive usage of words a.k.a. synonyms of "bad" reminds me of another certain individual
So, this is a thing now?
Because I love a good bandwagon.
Granted, I'll just turn it into clop, but hey, gal's gotta eat.
Great improvement from the original one. You definitely should do more!
So I'll admit right off the bat to knowing nothing about Evictus save for seeing him pop up in the Recent Stories tab every other day, but I have to ask: is this really necessary? I mean, magnanimous aspirations or no, I get the impression (and please correct me if it's wrong) that this was done without the original author's permission, which would be a little underhanded regardless of intent.
Look, I get wanting to help struggling writers and I can fully sympathize with the teeth-grinding such attempts can provoke, but if this is the point you have to reach to MAYBE get a positive response, it just doesn't seem worth it to me. At some point, you gotta just let go, especially if (as far as I can tell), Evictus really doesn't seem to want the advice.
8124367 Eh, as far as I know, most people who've rewritten Evictus' stories, (myself included) either did it as both a friendly nod and a personal challenge, or just for fun.
In both cases, we still hope that Evictus might be able to pick something up from reading them, even if it's just figuring out where to place a comma.
8124367 I didn't mean for it to be thought of as mean or anything like that.
I just wanted him to have a tempalte if anything else.
I think I have an idea to maybe make this right again.
How about I sign this whole story over to him as a gift?
It must mean something nice if his idea inspired this right?
8125530 Hey!!! I'm sorry, I actually really, really thought your story was good. I got drunk with a friend that day and showed him the two stories and he was the one who commented that...
I know it sounds like I'm speaking out of my ass, but please believe me!! I would never usually get mad over something like this.
8125789 And that children, is why you don't drink and read Fimfiction.
8126139 Lol I learned my lesson!!!
Evictus means conquered, convinced, and dominated. What does that tell us
8122900 wait what happened. Can you tell me?
Damn so much salt on this story I could use it for my fries
Thanks for remaking my story :) Do I have your permission to link this rewrite on the original?