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deadpansnarker


"Be good to yourself, because nobody else has the power to make you happy."

E

We know what happened at the end of 'A Flurry Of Emotions'. Twilight apologised for not spending enough fun time with her niece, and learned a valuable lesson. But, what if...she felt certain other ponies needed to be taught a thing or too as well?

We're about to find out.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 58 )

I thought Twilight was acting a bit off character, but it was still great. Especially that last paragraph...:rainbowlaugh:

Wait a minute. Twilight gave Flurry all those gifts, and she acted like she did something wrong when she scolded Flurry; if anyone is spoiling her it's Twilight Sparkle.

8114191 That was possibly before she knew the full extent of how much Flurry Heart was being spoiled at home thus leading to her current misbehaviour... :pinkiesmile:


8114174 I think I was just trying to depict somepony at the end of their tether. This was always unlikely to happen in the show itself, hence the 'Alternate Universe' bit. Still, I had to write it down. :raritywink:

The last spec got a chuckle out of me. And, I actually could see twilight doing this. It would not be a stretch out of her character, if prompted it the right way.

As someone who's mom has had an at home daycare over ten years, I've dealt with a lot of babies. Flurry Heart is presented as a baby under one year old (actual time passed is irrelevant, especially since time makes no sense in FiM), and she's rather well behaved for a baby that age. She's much more well behaved than the Cake twins were and she didn't even cry. The only issue is her immense power, which in this episode wasn't too much worse than the Cakes, so that seems rather normal for pony babies. The worst she did was try to entertain herself or find her toy, never even really crying. Plus, she's way too young to actually discipline. If Flurry was a toddler, then this would make sense, but she's still at the point where she can't form words and hasn't gotten over her magic surge, so Twilight was completely in the wrong here.

8114258 Actually, I think time does sometimes make a difference in MLP, as both Pound and Pumpkin Cake are now larger and out of diapers. Also, seeing as Flurry Heart has a basic understanding of what's going on around her, I'm sure she can be taught basic principles of discipline which could curb some of her more destructive behavioral traits, so comparing her development to a human child is somewhat of a misnomer. Besides, I'm not saying who's 'wrong' or 'right' in this story, I just thought this would be a kind of amusing footnote to the episode. As long as people enjoy it, that's the main thing... :pinkiesmile:

8114253 Thanks. I tried not to make her go too over the top, but everypony has a breaking point. She soon calmed down, anyway. Thanks for reading! :pinkiehappy:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! This did give me a few chuckles, just like your last one. Though unlike the last one, it isn't really something I see happening. I wasn't sure what to make of a lot of this. I get that it's something that needed to be said but I really don't think Twilight would be the one to say it like this. Especially not to Cadance and Shining. This seemed more like a rant than a moment where Twilight is breaking down. Maybe it's just because this is fairly similar to your last story and I'm a little oversaturated already but this felt too much.

Yes, Cadance and Shining dropping in on Twilight like that was a huge mistake and something that shouldn't happen again. It was silly and illogical of them. However, I'm not sure Twilight can really give them baby caring advice so literally, even out of a book. If she did she'd probably do it academically, sitting them down like a doctor or therapist, glasses and everything. Which would be amusing but most of this scenario just melt like a different character. I don't go so far as to call it a straight mouthpiece but... it just didn't feel like Twilight. At all. Not dialled up to 11, like in the last fic, which was funny, but too far beyond that.

Honestly, switching characters would have helped this a LOT I feel. Instead of Twilight blowing up at the door, Spike could have done so afterwards. Maybe a day later since he's still at the hospital at the end. It just feels a lot more like something he would say. Perhaps he'd be slightly less academic but this ranting calling you out style mixed with genuine supportiveness is more his style. He's not afraid to speak his mind and be a little snarky about it. Spinning it so that he was only doing so because of how badly Twilight dealt with the situation and because he feels Shining Armour and Cadance were taking advantage of her (I agree with you on that but it isn't something Twilight would call out herself. She's too humble, even when breaking. Also she has a really bad oblivious streak.) Spike doing the talking here would give you all the points you were trying to hit and make the whole story seem a lot more in line with the show. I get what you mean with the show never really tackling things like this so it will always be a bit jarring but as it is now it's too jarring. Spike and his personality would carry it a lot more into the realms of believability.

Okay, with all that aside, what did I like? The laughs. The gags and small one-liners were really funny. Cadance's little blow out at Shining at the end, the bill and Starlight getting hoofed in it. She was probably in Trixie's wagon, making fireworks and practising magic. Hail the innuendos! Hehehe. This was a really amusing piece to read and the jokes you did try to tell hit home, I just feel like the premise needed a new character or a different approach. Again, I could be jaded because your last story toed the line much better but this just went a little too far for me. Sorry. Still! I look forward to reading your next piece! Good luck and have a nice day!

Very amusing, I liked it, also it had a more satisfying ending than the actual episode.
I personally was more bothered by Twilight apologizing to Flurry Heart at the end rather than, say, the sick kids at the hospital or even Spike. Her bringing a baby really screwed up their afternoon. On the other hand, parents have to juggle taking care of their kids while doing other things all the time. She doesn't need to apologize to a baby for looking away for two seconds.
Just my 2 cents.

8114302 Wow, you certainly put a lot of effort into your reviews, don't you? Let me attempt to offer some rebuttals:

1. I don't think Spike would've been the one to make this speech, as he didn't have as much at stake in this whole farrago. Why would Cadence and Shining Armour hang around for another day anyway, just to be chewed out by Spike?

2. Twilight has been known to lose her temper on occasion, and I think a day like this would've pushed her to the very limit. I don't think for one minute she's incapable of getting cross at her brother and sister-in-law, especially after all she's experienced like restacking toys to cleaning up an entire hospital.

3. Again, this is an 'Alternate Universe', so while I may at times have taken liberties with some of the characters, I don't think they're outrageously not themselves, just a little exaggerated for comic effect. Glad some of it made you laugh, anyway.

That's it. You have a nice day, too. :raritywink:

8114304 That did kinda irk me a bit, too. The foals were already ill before being levitated... they could've been seriously injured, if Twilight hadn't stepped in! Still, they weren't the main focus of the episode, so it's understandable. Glad you enjoyed it! :twilightsmile:

8114311 I try, Gives me a better perspective as I'm writing them so it helps me too.

1. I didn't mean they'd stay an extra day. I think Spike would seek them out. To prevent this from happening again. He wasn't there when they promised it wouldn't after all. He would do it if he thought it would help Twilight. At least I think he would. Maybe you have another opinion or I could just be blatantly wrong.

2. This one, yeah I agree that she does get angry. It's not so much that she got angry, it's just how she did it. This sort of thing just isn't her style. Again, I could be wrong but I just can't help but reading this in Spike's voice instead of Twilight's. Twilight just isn't quite so, cutting when she's angry, not as knowingly ruthless is what I would put it like. I dunno, this isn't helping explain is it. Heh, sorry.

3. Yeah, I get that and in an alternate universe, it would be rather amusing. Cadance and Shining Armour do need it after all. You don't just drop a foal on someone... especially a foal like Flurry Heart who can cause armageddon. Though I do wonder why this happened despite Sunburst's spell. Hey! Sunburst, wanna explain why this happened? Huh, no signal... His phone must be off... Wonder what's he's doing? I also wonder if it involves a certain absent lilac unicorn? Okay, maybe I should stop with the shipping. Hehehe.

8114323 1 and 2. Who knows? Either of us could be right or wrong. I just couldn't imagine writing this fic from Spike's perspective... him getting seeking out Shining and Cadence to get mad at them on Twilight's behalf doesn't seem likely to me, and I wouldn't even know what he'd say. With Twilight though, you get that more personal touch, so I think the talk would have a lot more impact. Maybe you've just been spoiled by the 'snarky Spike' we've seen so far this season... :moustache:

3. Yep, the alternate universe tag was there for a reason. Like I said, I think this is extremely unlikely to occur in the show proper, so I was just making that clear. Still, it's good to think like everyone Twilight has a more abrasive side that occasionally emerges, even to the extent of telling ponies close to her what they don't want to hear, like Fluttershy did to the Breezies. 'Sometimes, you have to be 'cruel' to be kind...' :raritywink:

Uggh this story bad, ignoring twilight spoke like flurry 12 instead of a baby when she call her a spoiled brat. seriously she was the first to alert spike about pumpkin and Pound problem and try to fix it (However being a baby, she probably didn't realize why the king solomon was a bad choice. furthermore ignoring one that is still a alicorn could be problematic, she could have at the very least ask spike to play with flurry for a second.

as baby go she quite polite (My sister a babysitter so i had to listen to awful tantrums). and a 1 year old at that. she should have gave whamie during the cart thing. have spike watch her during the cheerilee classroom.

seriously she kinda a douche here. the ending got a chuckle but that about it.

8114413 Well, that thing about the Cake twins, Twilight didn't know that part, did she? Plus, she probably had too much on her mind to ask Spike to watch the babies when he was busy with his list.

This isn't a story to proportionate blame, after all everyone can accuse someone else of anything. Twilight should've been more attentive, but there is also an argument to be said for, because of Flurry Heart's 'unique' ability, she should be handled by her parents with a bit more care than she is at present.

Anyway, I'll let the readers decide for themselves. Glad you got a chuckle out of the ending, anyway! :twilightsmile:

8114204 id admit.....flurry was dawwww this ep

8114258 Yes, she is, my friend. Flurry Heart is only a baby for crying out loud and disciplining her like that was just...wrong.

8114551 She wasn't really 'disciplined' though, was she? All that's being suggested by Twilight is that her parents need to set her a few boundaries. Not that much to ask for I would suggest, and Flurry is clearly a lot more aware than your average human child so the two shouldn't be compared, and of course the consequences for not supervising her properly can potentially be far more deadly...

Of course this is all subjective, and you're free to draw your own conclusions from the episode. :twistnerd:

Flurry was very well behaved in my opinion and her worst misbehavior was actually totally different from the way an average baby would be. Losing a toy wold be reason to cry, not to go panicing looking for it,

I think this is a very poorly done story with no idea how to really treat babies

8114607 I think this perfectly describes Cadance and Shining Armor's parenting skills:

8114653 Well fortunately it is a fanfiction, not a parenting class. Thanks for reading, anyway. :twilightsmile:

Odd, she only erased the blackboard at the school.

And nopony can use magic to get the peas off the walls? :rainbowhuh:

8114714 Chalk is a very rare commodity in Ponyville, I'll have you know... :raritywink:

Eh, I don't really feel Shining and Cadence deserved to get chewed out quite that hard, and especially not by Twilight. Don't get me wrong, I got some good laughs from reading this, but from my perspective, Twilight was just as much at fault for what happened.

Shining and Cadence might have instigated the situation by showing up unannounced and at the last minute, likely knowing that Twilight wouldn't turn them away, thus taking advantage of her. But Twilight also had every opportunity to say "no", or even bring in help from her ever-loyal friends. Heck, she could have even postponed her visit to the hospital (a bit selfish to not visit sick children in favor of spending time with your niece, but those sick kids would still have been there the next day).
Instead, Twilight let her ego dictate her actions, which led to her trying to juggle her Princess duties while also being the "Best Aunt Ever".

If anything the moral of the episode should have involved prioritizing your time and responsibilities, making time for others instead of trying to cram them into your already packed schedule, and learning to not take on more than you can handle, even if it's hard to turn someone away. "If you try to please everyone, you'll just end up disappointing everyone and yourself."... or something.
---
Either way, I enjoyed this short story. I just feel like it missed the mark a bit.

8114743 This fic seems to have inspired a lot of interesting discussion, which in my opinion more than justifies it's existence. I don't claim to be a expert of child/foal-rearing or who was at fault for what in the episode, my primary concern was crafting an entertaining fic. I'm glad some people seem to like it, anyway. Thanks for commenting! :scootangel:

I'm a curious guy, so I want to ask you this: What is the exact amount of the clean-up bill for the various messes Flurry Heart has made?

8114755 Well, let's just say they won't be eating out for a while. I don't know why they'd be surprised though... kids can be a very expensive business. My sister would testify to that statement completely... :twilightoops:

8114762 So are you in the same boat Shining Armor and Cadence were in for this story?

8114770 Nope, that would be my far more family-orientated sister, not I. Anyway, no boat trips for our royal couple either for a while, I'm afraid... :ajsleepy:

8114774 No dine-outs nor boat trips, eh? Any more setbacks for our royal couple?

8114777 I feel like I'm writing another fanfic here just by describing all this to you. Let's just say, as us Brits would put it, they'll be 'skint' for a while, and leave it at that for now... :raritywink:

Clearly written by someone who's never met a baby lol. Flurry Heart is an infant. You can't spoil an infant, and most certainly should NEVER yell at one the way Twilight did in the episode. Her suggesting Cadence and Shining Armor start doing the same is borderline abusive. That isn't the way infants learn, at all. Flurry only got upset when Twilight chose to ignore her in favor of everything else on her schedule, and I know a lot of childless people are horrified by the idea, but babies actually need CONSTANT ATTENTION at literally all times. What Twilight was doing to her was akin to not feeding her, or not changing her diaper. She was neglecting one of her NEEDS.

8115176 1. Well, the 'yelling' succeeded in getting all the floating people/equipment down, so at least it was good for something...
:raritywink:

And I didn't claim to be a baby expert, I was simply espousing a different point of view. Please don't try to factor in my personal beliefs into this story... it's a fanfiction, not an opinion piece.

Still, thanks for reading & commenting. :scootangel:

8114191

Probably because she DID do something wrong. Flurry is an infant, and Twilight's responsibility. None of her 'mischief' would have even happened had someone been paying attention to her, which at that age is a need rather than a want, and you never ever EVER scream at a baby like that. Also, you can't spoil an infant. Period.

8115333 My point is that Twilight is closer to spoiling her than Shining is like Twilight is claiming in this fic.

And besides, what about all those gifts?

Although maybe they shouldn't rely on that one toy so much either...okay? I loved this episode even though the wording in that one scene felt really off to me. :scootangel:

Felt it was a bit out of character for Twilight to act like this, but that's what Fanfiction is for at times. Also, got a few good laughs just the same, so it was well worth the read.

Cadence had a question. "Hang on. If I might ask, what makes you such an authority on the subject?"
"Well, personal observation for one..." Twilight proudly responded

Spike is really well behaved, I have to agree with Twilight on that one. Her foal is off reading to sick children, not wrecking the place looking for a toy.

This honestly is not that good. I'll give it credit that it did get a few laughs from me, but Twilight was 100% in the wrong in this episode. Sure, Cadence and Shining admitted that they should have given more of a heads up about Flurry, but most of what Flurry did was on Twilight's part. The toy store? Twilight wasn't paying attention to Flurry at all. The schoolhouse? Same deal. At the hospital, Twilight is next to Flurry, and she doesn't even hear her cry or throw a tantrum about how upset she is. And, oh yeah, let's not forget this part; she brings a baby to a hospital full of sick foals without a second thought. I mean, did Twilight really not think how bad of an idea it was at all? Maybe a doctor or nurse should have stopped her too, but for some reason didn't. I don't care if alicorns may have, keywords being may have, a higher immune system, but that's careless on Twilight's part to do something like that.

Flurry isn't even a toddler yet, and can't speak words. So how can Twilight accuse Cadence and Shining of spoiling their baby when she's still technically an infant or at least 6 months old? If anything, Twilight should have been called out by the various ponies such as the toy store clerk, Cheerilee, and Nurse Redheart, for her blatant disregard of watching Flurry and letting things get out of control.

This story seems intent on making Twilight, for some reason, as if she was the one in the right all along, and vilify Shining and Cadence. If anything, this story makes Twilight come across as an irresponsible, petty mare who refuses to take responsibility for her actions and cast the blame on somepony else for stuff she did. Kind of hard for me to side with the princess who admitted her schedule was jam packed and took on the baby sitting job solely to spend time with Flurry and basically did it without much of a second thought.

At least it was Twily and not Rarity. Imagine the chaos if Flurry Heart were in Canterlot Boutique. Oops.

8114270
This might be the best point of all.

After all, like you said, the Cake twins are out of diapers and walking around, and per the show's own internal calendar, they are at most one year old, and while I'm not saying that there is no human child (in a western society) that is out of diapers at that age, there is no human child (in a western society) that is out of diapers at that age.

8114653
Speaking of toys, what happened to the blue bear plushie Flurry got from the beginning of the episode?:rainbowhuh:

She still had it when she was in the toy store, but when she was at the hospital, I noticed that it wasn't there. (And a side note for the hospital scene: Didn't Twilight hear Flurry throwing a fit?! She just kept reading as if nothing was happening! And shouldn't Spike or the other kids given her hints or tell her something was wrong? Also, in what world is it safe to bring an infant to a hospital room filled with sick foals?!:facehoof:)

Nice work. Shinning Armor and Cadence kinda deserve it.

Otherwise, growing up with her extreme power, I dread to think of the consequences..."

She might even become the next Nightmare Moon.

8118788
You took the words right out of my mouth thank you.

8118788
You’re clearly delusional if you honestly think that.

8118788

Though I found this story to be a good read, I do agree with you on the morals aspect; in fact, the ending itself seems to emphasize on that, with Twilight not only dragging Starlight into the fray and viewing her absence as her “dodging responsibility”, but also lying about how she swears that her assistance is a form of a friendship lesson when really she’s just making her clean up a mess.

Sounds a lot like manipulation, doesn’t it? Hm...isn’t that what Twilight accused her BROTHER of doing? :trixieshiftright:

Regardless of its flaws, this WAS a nice read, and I DO get the arguments here as well; Shining and Cadence SHOULD be facing SOME consequences and I do like how this story tries to tackle it. However, there’s a problem with stories that revolve around someone trying to teach someone else a lesson, especially when they’re in the wrong as well - it appears as though Character A (in this case Twilight) is trying to pass of blame to Characters B/C (Shining and Cadence) rather than think more clearly on her own mistakes.

I give this a four in a half out of ten. Don’t take a rating like this to heart, however, as it is merely my opinion. Your story is very well written and I’m sure there are those who love this take on the matter.

8605055
And you're clearly not one to talk, troll-boy. Bottom line is that Twilight could've saved herself and Flurry unneeded aggravation if she had just listened to Spike's suggestions to let him handle at least the bulk of her errands, but being Twilight, she ignored common sense and sought to overcompensate by juggling multiple tasks at once, which you CANNOT do when you're in charge of a baby because they require constant supervision. And people of the "Flurry deserved to be yelled at" faction choose to overlook that Flurry's inevitable tantrum was a building crescendo caused by Twilight frequently ignoring her throughout the day, on top of the stress of losing her toy(which alone would've caused an infant to break down into tears since they are quite OCD about their toys). If you have no idea what is like to raise a child, then you shut up and listen to the people who actually know what it's to be a caretaker of one. Flurry Heart is a SAINT compared to a real infant because they are nowhere near as patient, intelligent and generally well-behaved as she is(especially since she listened to Twilight with little complaint throughout the episode and would even entertain herself when her aunt was busy). If a real baby had Flurry's god-like magic and was in the same situation, something like the hospital incident would've occurred much sooner the very second Twilight stopped paying attention to it.

Of course, I do agree that Shining and Cadence just dumping their kid on Twilight at short notice was inconsiderate of them(and why they didn't think to reach out to Sunburst is either plot stupidity or just their own borne of thoughtless desperation), but aside from Twilight telling them to give her a heads-up next time and keeping in my mind that she has her own business to attend to as royalty, I don't see the dressing down in this fic to be necessary.

10342979
Not a troll and I forgot about that comment and this story due to it being almost three years ago. So I don’t even care about whatever was being talked about.

8368627
yeah remember the holidays episode where she caused the pudding that twilight was making to almost fill the castle. If pinkie hadn't been given the right item to undo the craziness the castle would have been flooded with pudding and all because they let her do whatever she wants.

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