I write for fun xX and rememger to smile :)
Sweatie Bell has to choose between of life or death. She can choose to follow God or follow the Satan. When Sweetiy's friends are against her believes, what will she do? How will she choose the right choice? What is the true meaning of Easter Sundae?
Page generated in 0.073 seconds
Total duration
941 users online
1,246,602 hits today, 2,167,270 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I ebjoyed thiss mosterful wrok of proase =
8101716 i dont understan but thanks you~
8101751 lol thanks right back atcha
Is this a joke?
I couldn't make it very far into this. The spelling is the absolute worst I have ever seen in a story, it is so bad that a kindergartner would probably do a better job. You don't even stay consistent with the spelling of characters' names throughout the part that I did read. Had you been consistent in misspelling Sweetie Belle, Rarity and the other characters it wouldn't have been as bad. The fact that you misspelled names in the description makes matters worse.
Also, have you ever heard of these things called paragraphs? They are a wonderful part of the English language that makes reading works such as this much easier. Without paragraphs, the work is very painful on the eyes and is extremely difficult to follow. I can't help but wonder how you are doing in English in school and if you are still in grade school or junior high, reading.
Also, I have a feeling this story will bomb because you are bringing human religion into Equestria and that often is not a good idea. What sorts of religion that even exist in Equestria I wouldn't know but it would likely be something you would have to create on your own, such as something like Horsemasterists who worship an Almighty Creator or one where Alicorns are considered living deities....just an idea I got from another writer who focuses heavily on G1.
My advice, get an editor and perhaps change it from Sweetie having the choice of God vs. Satan to maybe Fausticorn vs. Tirek....something that would fit into Equestria.
And one word of advice, I saw you got an editor on a different story. Make sure your editor edits ALL of your story, not just part of it. I decided to try this again and the second half of it is much better on the eyes but still has numerous errors that any editor over the age of 8 would catch.
Ah, the fabled double simile!
Now that's what I call a trollfic.
8101962 its a trollfic.
Heyy guys thanks for all the postitive commants <3
Posting moat soon but gotta ketch up on mlp seasons cause Im behind
So yea
Literary kino
8433727
hat does this mean I ont gt it
An awe sum story, sole sorrow, but it feels incomplete. Why did Sweatie Bell run way when she see Bloomb and Scoots? Did somepony set them up the bomb?