Lights, Camera...

by Smoking Gun

Chapter 4: All the Weirdos in the World...

Chapter 4: All the Weirdos in the World...

---

"Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner! The hippinest, hoppinest joint in town!" Pinkie had been experimenting with different greetings for customers who had come to Sugar Cube Corner. At the very least, she could consider this one more appropriate than 'Sugar Cube Corner: We're so sweet, you'll walk out with Diabetes.' The shop was now packed to the brim with the film crew and actors. Most of them were ponies from Canterlot who had come with Final Cut, although there were a few locals that had since joined the team. Twilight was sitting in one of the booths, away from the loud crowd. Spike was sitting opposite her, typing away at his laptop.

"Remind me why I agreed to do this." Twilight had nothing against the party atmosphere, unless it was full of ponies she didn't know. She thinks she recognizes the florist, or maybe that was her mail mare.

"I think it was because the Princess called you out."

"Yeah, that's it." When Twilight received a letter from the Princess, it would have something to do her studies or a task she had to complete, but earlier that day, she received the first letter that trolled her into submission. Whether or not that was the Princess intention, remains unknown.

"Come on, Twilight. Loosen up!" Pinkie strapped a party hat on top of Twilight's head, with a celluloid imprinted on it, and then slapped a ribbon her side that labeled her as an actor (actor spelled 'Akter'). "You're in the movie too. You have just right to get crunk just like everypony else." Twilight took the opportunity to absorb the other activities going on at the party. A group of ponies had taken the dice from the board games and were using them to play craps (where the craps table came from remains unknown). One suspicious colt was attempting to sell some of his extra 'sugar pulls'. Pin-the-tail-on-the-pony had been converted to a dart board. The board in question had been tattooed on the back of the key grip. The other ponies were either making out or dancing to the tunes being spun by local DJ; Vinyl Scratch. Twilight didn't recognize the song, only that it's lyrics were questionable at best.

"Pinkie... don't you get the feeling that maybe this party is... not in your wheel house?" Pinkie looked back at the rowdy ponies, not dropping her trademark smile.

"Silly Twilight, this party is for them! Sure they can be a bit-"

"CANNONBALL!" One drunk Pegasus flew up to the ceiling and dived head first into the punch bowl, spilling it everywhere.

"- Rough. But hey, it never hurts to try new things."

"It looks like it hurt him" Spike interjected as Mr Cake stepped out from the back with a broom as he swept up the broken glass... and the Pegasus, pushing them out the back door. Spike returned to typing.

"I don't know Pinkie. Do either of us know any pony would want to hang out with a bunch of rowdy, loudmouths?" Right on cue, Rainbow Dash trotted through the front door, with Soarin by her side.

"Somepony call us?" Everypony who wasn't already caught up in something else ran over to the main stars, dragging them over to a booth on the opposite side of the shop. Loving the attention, Rainbow went a long with it, Soarin on the other hand didn't look quite as thrilled. Twilight didn't look proud of Rainbow, nor did she looked surprised.

"Did we forget any other pony with a fame complex?"

"I have arriiiiiiiiiiiived!" Twilight, Pinkie and Spike turned their attention outside to find a red carpet leading up to the door that wasn't there when they arrived. Walking down the carpet was Rarity in one of her best dresses. She was waving as she stepped into the establishment, her eyes closed the entire time.

"Should somepony go out and tell her that there aren't any photographers?" Asked Pinkie.

"No need my dear." Rarity trotted over to join Twilight and Pinkie, Spike was still typing. "While I am a little underwhelmed by the presses turn out, I consider it good practice for the real red carpet affair."

"So, now that you've practiced your trip down the cat walk, what's your plan for the rest of the evening?"

Without saying a word, Rarity held out her empty hoof towards the party. "3... 2... 1..." Right on cue, several colts ran over, each with a different drink in hoof. "I'll see you later darling." Following Rainbow Dash's example, Rarity allowed herself to be swept up by the crowd as she was taken over to an empty booth (or one that had the least amount of ponies making out in it).

Spike turned back to Twilight. "Hey Twi, what role was Rarity playing?"

"I think it was somepony called... 'Mistress Mayhem' or something like that."

"Thanks." Spike resumed typing.

"What are you doing on the-?"

"Email."

"Oh... aren't you going to enjoy the party?"

"Aren't you?"

Twilight turned back around, just to remind the kind of atmosphere she was in. This time, she noticed a group of ponies with red noses, taking turns 'smelling the sugar'. "I won't lie, it's going to be a challenge."

"Just try talking to somepony. I bet they're not all... rowdy." Pinkie pushed Twilight into the mosh pit. The bouncing ponies engulfed her like Daring Do slipping into quick sand.

"Pinkiiiiieeeeee..." It was too late, she was gone.

---

"Yeah, I'm a total 'S-S' freak. Like hardcore." Rainbow Dash had been droning on for a while now to all the colts who were, all to clearly, not giving 100% of their attention to her words. Soarin on the other hand, hadn't looked this bored since he had to sit through the junior fliers try-outs for the Wonderbolts club.

"So are you two mounting or what?" The colt who shouted that out was lucky he wasn't in Rainbow's field of vision. She blushed as she searched the crowd in front of her. Soarin was just doing his best not to be seen.

"Who said that?! Show yourself!" No one moved forward. The colts just looked at each other and laughed. Meanwhile, the Mares whispered to each other. And judging by the way they were looking at Rainbow at the time, she could tell it was nothing good. Being able to almost smell the awkwardness, Soarin shouted "Look! Somepony's giving away free sugar pills!" Rivaling the speed of Super-Stallion himself, the crowd cleared the booth, running out the door that Soarin was pointing at.

Rainbow chuckled and turned to Soarin. "Does that always work?"

"Never tried it before. I suppose I just had a feeling they'd go for it" said Soarin with a smirk on his face.

Rainbow blushed as she raised her cider mug. "My hero."

Soarin raised his in return. "My damsel."

Rainbow socked Soarin playfully. "I am no damsel, thank you very much."

"Really? 'cause it sure looked like you needed saving?"

"Let's not forget I've saved your plot more then twice. You think getting a couple of freaks away from us makes us even?"

"No. Me saving your pie, on top of this, will make us even."

The two shared a laugh until Rainbow caught site of a pony that looked like somepony she knew. But this pony was covered in bruises and couldn't open her left eye all the way because it was dark and swollen. "Twi?"

Twilight's head was still ringing, making it hard to hear Rainbow. Soarin reached over and pulled her into the booth. "Twilight? What the hay happened to you?"

"Well... Pinkie threw me into a mosh pit... everything went dark... and I'm pretty sure I can't remember where I live. Also, there's three of you now."

Soarin reached into his cider mug, pulled out a few cubes of ice, putting them over Twilight's eye. "Wait here. I'm going go get a first aid kit. Wait here miss Sparkle."

Soarin hopped up from the booth and went back to talk to the Cakes. "Heh, 'Miss Sparkle?' At least one pony here is half-civilized."

"Yeah... I'm gonna admit, this party's kinda lame. Want to bail?"

"Sure, let's just wait for Soarin.

"Yeah... sure."

....

"So... how are things? You know, with you being a big celebrity and all"

Rainbow had to pause and think about her answer. "Meh."

---

"- and I assure you that Photo Finish wouldn't be able to grasp avant garde if it bit her in the haunches. But that's just little old me." On that note, all of the ponies surrounding Rarity had been repelled, leaving her with a table full of untouched drinks.

Pinkie arrived just for the last one to leave. "Umm, Rarity, I think you scared off your new friends."

"Friends? Bah! Just a couple of ruffians who couldn't take a hint. Look at how many drinks they've shoved under my nose. Last time I had that many was in college. I woke up 2 days later in Fluttershy's cottage.

"That doesn't seem too-"

"I didn't know her at the time."

"Oh... well that would have been fun!"

"Hardly. All of these ponies, this atmosphere... it's just not me. A true lady like myself requires a more..."

Rarity noticed of two mares making out. When one of them stopped for a drink, the other had another mare waiting on the side. "A more refined environment."

Pinkie leaned over so she was close to Rarity. "You'll never hear me say this again; get out of here!"

Rarity was taken aback. "Did you just recommend that I leave a party?"

Pinkie pulled Rarity close so that their eyes were touching. "These are the worst ponies I've ever thrown a party for. They're tearing Sugar Cube Corner apart. I can't leave, but you can. Go. Save yourself!" With that, Rarity took one last cider shot before sneaking out the back.

---

"There you go. Good as new!" Soarin finished applying the last bandage to Twilight, she was covered in ice packs and band aids at that point. Rainbow Dash was still at the booth, watching Soarin tend to the unicorn. She knows he doing the right thing, but there was a strange feeling she had in her gut watching him take care of her. She wasn't sure what it was, but she knew she didn't like it.

"Thanks again hero. I can take it from here."

"At least let me walk you outside." Soarin took Twilight's hoof and escorted her out. Yep, Rainbow Dash was certain she didn't like this feeling.

At the front entrance, Soarin helps Twilight down the steps. "Well, I should probably get back to my cage."

"At least you've got decent company."

"Yeah... well, if you need anything, let me know." The Pegasus brushed a rough spot on Twilight's mane as he walked back in the shop. Twilight turned to the streets, hoping to find a cab.

"He's a real hero, aint he?"

Twilight squeaked a little to find Final Cut, kicking back on a lawn chair, looking up into the night sky. "How long have you been here?

"Long enough to tell I really don't want to be here. Besides, looks like you've enjoyed it enough for both of us."

"Thanks for noticing."

Final Cut sat up as he turned to Twilight, purching himself on the edge of the chair. "Look, Sparkle, I know I've been... easily frustrated by the ponies here. That's because Ponyville really isn't my town."

"I'm sure once this is over you and your crew will be back-"

"Let me finish. Even though I'm not Ponyville material... I don't want you to think I'm like them. When I came to Ponyville, I thought I was going to a place full of nutjobs and weirdos. Turns out I was living with them the whole time."

Did he really say that? Was Final Cut acting... reasonable? "You definitely sound like you don't fit in with them."

"And thank Celestia for that."

...

"If it's any consolation; I think you're going to do a good job."

"What?" She had only known Final Cut for a few weeks now, but she knew she was seeing something other ponies didn't get to see very often.

"You're a good pony. Hard working. You're... alrightish."

Just then, a cab rode past the two ponies, Spike walked out the front door and hailed it for Twilight. She struggled to make her way up onto the cab, but Final Cut was gentlecolt enough to give her a helping hoof. "Thanks. You're alrightish too. Wait a minute, I thought you didn't like any of us."

"I said I hated you. I never said I didn't like you." Final Cut gave the driver a hoof full of bits and sent them off, waiting until the cab disappeared into the darkness.

"You're still crazy."

---

Next: Superhero Shape!

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Yeah, I know this chapter was a bit short, but the next one will be bigger, pinkie promise!

Comments

[Smoking Gun]

Brownie Point to anyone who can guess what the title for this chapter is referencing

[Path_of_cloud]

Spike, the blog king! Or maybe he's researching, hoping to get the part of Rarity's second in command.

Did you just recommend that I leave a part? party*

That's the only one I noticed this time around well done.

P.S.Strangely enough the title reminded me of Wayne's World, but I doubt that's it.

[Smoking Gun]

895840 Thanks brov! The best is yet to come!

[Smoking Gun]

894727 Google the title, but don't post the answer

[Smoking Gun]

899642 Aww shucks