Wigglejigglesquiggle
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Very good job, man. I didn't read it all at once when you had it as a green, but now that you have it all together, it makes for an enjoyable story!
One thing, though. About sixty percent of the way through the second chapter, the text switches over to all italics. I think you have a stray italics tag somewhere.
Quite good, though I'd suggest altering the title some so it doesn't get mistaken for a different FOE acronym.
This chapter has a broken italics bracket roughly 1/2 of the way into it.
This is the sentence.
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Fixed the italics issue and expanded the title. Thanks.
Glad you enjoyed. :)
You know I was hoping it would actually have a little sex in it you know penis and vagina thing otherwise it was okay I'll give it a 5 out of 10 because you tempted me and then let me down and that kind of made me mad but otherwise it was still good story
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Oral sex doesn't count, eh? :p
Noted for next time. Figuring out how to have 'normal' sex with someone several times your size probably counts as an adventure all on its own.
8064304 You know when I first read the description I actually thought you were going to do a super mutant one nut in Alicorn one you might want to change that
This was excellent! All three of your Alicorns are super cute in their own way. Is there a chance we might see more of Boundless in the future?
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Quite possibly. No immediate plans, but I've got a handful of rough ideas. We'll see.
Glad you liked it. :)
Profoundly dim-bulb question regarding this isolated alicorn clan's appearance: should I be visualizing Celestia/Cadance/Luna-style equinoids, as opposed to FO:E's generally gnarlier & toothier post-apocalyptic flappyhorns? That noted, digging this fic's characterization, contention with environmental hazards, and sorta-slow-burn intimacy.
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Doesn't seem utterly impossible. Just find a solid & comfortably-padded surface at about upper-foreleg height, roll Boundless onto her back or side, and Starswirl's your great-aunt.
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Very good question, actually. There's a few different interpretations of how FoE's alicorns are meant to look, so I tried to keep the finer details vague on purpose. They're roughly the size of Celestia/NMM, and obviously they don't look normal, but aside from that they can be as monstrous (or not) as you like.
I'll have to keep that positioning advice in mind...
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Given this bunch's supposed origins, I'm sorely tempted to roll with a sort of 'slightly cuddlier Nightmare' look-sharply-delineated pinion structure, cat pupils & visibly pointy canines, but less pants-taintingly horrific than their wilder cousins' bristling dental arrays & general lack of grooming. Might also be fun to chuck in a scene where Boundless' kids have a close-shave run-in with said relations...
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Sure, I can see that. Though I didn't imagine them looking all that different to other alicorns - they're just a small group that split off and went their own way after the Goddess died. Boundless certainly falls into the 'slightly cuddlier' category (Auriga leans the other way and Corona is somewhere in the middle), but that's largely thanks to her demeanour and the magic of baby fat.
How they and Boundless' kids would wind up interacting with other alicorns is a very interesting question.
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As an utter neophyte when it comes to this setting, I was unclear whether or not there were other potential origins (e.g. random mutation, follow-up experiments, etc.), plus whether this Goddess cult was an 'official' feature (as opposed to a worldbuilding element on your part). Thanks for clearing that up. Perhaps the 'wild' alicorns deliberately file their teeth or something for extra Mad Max-style brigand looks.
Oh, so FO:E setting alicorns all descend from the Goddess' antics.
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It's fine - the FoE setting can be a giant mess at times, particularly to people that haven't immersed themselves in it for a while. The Goddess and her alicorns are essentially the Master and his super mutants from Fo1, with a few differences like the alicorns being exclusively female as opposed to genderless and sterile. Their overarching goal was to find a way to overcome the 'no dudes' problem and find a way to breed naturally, so obviously that means that they went full chaotic evil because writing nuanced factions is hard. And then they turned good because the heroes nuked their mum.
Needless to say, FoE's canon is strictly 'broad strokes' here.
The FILTHY STRIPES line made me chortle hehe.
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Broad strokes works both as general meta & from this story's particular character perspective-that healthy (albeit wisely unvoiced) skepticism re: his hosts' patron deity struck me as a fine bit of tongue-in-cheek personality. Congrats again for smoothly fleshing out even a small corner of such an, er, involved setting ('specially given this fic's central priority, which certainly sucked me right in).
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Wouldn't be Fallout without a little extreme nationalism, would it? ;)
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And thank you for the in-depth feedback. Glad you enjoyed it.
As a person
unhealthely obsessed withgenuinely interested in Unity Alicorns, i must say that this story is adorable and good!8116612
We need a sequel please!
Boundless is simply adorable
Another good chapter
I don't usually read stories written in second person, but this is a very nice exception.
Sugarcoating? That's an understatement...
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I am a timeless chorus. Join your voice with mine, and sing victory everlasting.
That scene is pure nightmare fuel
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Thanks for the feedback. I don't normally write in second person, so this story was a fun experiment.
Boundless was a willing convert to Unity, so her perspective might be a little biased. ;)
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I must confess I'm unfamiliar with Fallout Equestria. Unity alicorns?
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It's hard to answer your question without spoilering half of important events in Fallout Equestria.
In short, they are magically augmented supersoldiers. Like Supermutants from actual Fallout.
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Oh, Ubermensch.
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Sort of. Like 8669359 pointed out they're pretty much an analogue of Fallout's super mutants, minus the giant muscles and sterility (they have the Jurassic Park problem of being exclusively female instead).
They're certainly not a master race. For various reasons, Boundless and her sisters are actually much weaker than real alicorns like Celestia and Luna. In fact, they're even weaker than the unity alicorns that appear in FoE thanks to the death of the Goddess, and all their abilities rely on radiation as a fuel source. Without rads they're just gangly earth ponies with a few extra bits.
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Uberpferd, more likely
“Hook, line and sinker.” LOL
I don’t play Fallout so I have to ask: what did he mean by “wind up dead or worse.”?
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In Fallout, extreme radiation sickness doesn't always kill. Some people wind up mutating into "zombies" called ghouls, and the transformation can drive them insane or even feral. The same's true in FoE, except for the fact that ghouls don't just look like zombies - they're literally undead.
Being a mutant that feeds on radiation, Boundless isn't at risk from this. Regular ponies like the viewpoint character, though...
8696389
Yikes. Sounds like a fate worse than a slow, painful death.
Hopefully that trait gets passed down to her foals.
Well, they're presumably all over the place in the show. But to be fair, one in the distant future wouldn't know that, most likely.
8729578
That was a little poke at the original FoE. Main six symbols were everywhere, but especially apples. Even the grenades were shaped like apples. I figured the average wasteland pony would find it odd to see references to a near-extinct fruit all over the place.
8730250 Seems about right.
I don't know if you know me, but you almost certainly have, since you're also old guard, but I know you.
I've heard of you.
I've seen what you've done.
And I'm coming for you. Coming for more.
Seriously though, jokes aside, there isn't much to give a review on due to the length and nature of the story. I know the origins and somehow never got around to reading it back when I should've. Sorry. Well, I'm making up for that now.
One thing I will say is that I'm aware that certain things were never touched on in the original FoE, like alicorn eating habits. Personally, I don't agree that the alicorns would eat the things you recommend, but I'm not saying that to attack you or to tell you that you're wrong. I just don't agree.
Fanon will be fanon and I understand why you made your choices.
With that out of the way?
Fuck me. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Why the fuck didn't I listen to the other old guards who told me to read this? I kept putting it off purely because of I don't even know why.
I'm loving it. I'm ESPECIALLY loving the way you and I agree on the way alicorns behave post-Unity... with how the loss of Unity emotionally hurt and sometimes even broke them. The bond they had together, broken, now mending anew in a different fashion. How some have become desperate for the more intimate attention whilst others become hardened and cold to outsiders.
It really does feel like you went down the same line of thought and looked at how people would actually respond to losing something like that - and that's the biggest thing I love to see. Treating alicorns not as monsters, but as normal people, even if mutated.
Then there's the pregnancy fetish stuff. Oft. OOFT.
10/10 so far.
>Your alicorns can't handle industrial run off
Even more reason to like you & this fic
>Hit through the lung, can't recover but regeneration keeps her alive
Well fuck me, we really do think alike. I wrote that Selene (my purple), got hit to the throat and while still alive because of being in a radzone, wasn't able to heal without external help. Fuck. Now I'm loving it even more.
I may have a bias towards blue alicorns, but fuck, I like Corona. She's cute.
I agree. Alicorns make the perfect pillows.
And after all of the distractions, chapter 2 is done. God. I'm enjoying this all too much.
I really, really wish I'd read this sooner. Fucking superb work.
Alicorns done well. Very rare to see it happen it seems, but I love it.
>Overtalkative blue alicorn
Oh, I absolutely love her now
Oh god, all the things I would (want to) do to a poor, poor alicorn stuck in a doorway.
OOooooh, there's something I've not delved into. Of course, greens can speak *into* minds as well as read them.
Well, there's an idea you've just given me.
Fuck, that smut scene was nicely done. Not quite as raunchy as I would've gone, but then, it is pregnancy time so I can't blame you for not going full on.
Oh, I loved this. Oh how I loved this. VERY worth the read. Fuck fuck fuck, again, as the king of alicorns, I should've fucking got to it sooner.
Top fucking marks, you get the royal Kip Pls seal of approval.
100 Alicorns out of 10
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Glad you enjoyed the story! Thanks very much for all the feedback.
Making Boundless and her sisters come across as distinct people with feelings and history was probably the biggest challenge in writing this, especially after moving past the "eh, I'll just write a couple thousand words of porn" stage, so I'm really happy to have struck a chord there. Of course, it's nice that you enjoyed the porn too. ;)
On the eating habits, I think that's something I could have made clearer. They don't just eat rads - they need regular food too, which is why they're carrying around canned food as well as gems and such. Radiation fuels their growth, healing and magic but doesn't nourish them. Boundless needs lots of rads for her foals and Auriga chugs IMP because she's
an edgelordworking through a few emotional issues, but that's not the whole of their diet. Something to consider in case I write more with them (which I ought to, but >lazy).And yeah, I've been around for a while. Prefer to remain more or less anon, but I pop in and out of the FoE community every so often. RIP /foe/.
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/foe/ was revived recently, which is actually the very reason I'm back at all. I went looking out of pure nostalgia even though I'd known it'd died at some point. I got lucky to find it alive, given a new lease, and was... highly encouraged to return.
Now you clarify that, I can get behind you completely. My three girls just go soak up some rads elsewhere in the city, so fair enough. And yes, expectant mothers definitely need to keep on top form.
If you go looking for it, I derped on the tag this last thread, so look for 'monsters'.
Again though, just wanted to say I can't believe I kept getting a certain someone recommend I come read the pastebin (at the time) and I was just like "Eeeh, I'll put it on my to-do list."
Very thoroughly enjoyed it, and again, because I do mean it so much, I'm ecstatic that you've looked at them not as horrific beings of hate and destruction, mutants never to be known for anything other than death - but as actual ponies who each want to feel grounded and normal in their own, different ways. Absolutely spot on.