Wigglejigglesquiggle
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I hope Somber knows about this...
Permissions aside, it's very well written, and rather sentimental. I had a smile on my face after this.
fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/130/3/d/fo_e_ph_blackjack_for_dusty_by_rhodarein-d4z8j0a.png
Then I remembered that Blackjack is going to kill everyone in the Stable with chlorine gas.
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/nope_s.gif
Figures, though. Some readers see the word "clop" and immediately thumbs-down it, without even looking at it.
806361
Of course they do.
Some see FoE and thumb down too...
> 4168x5000PNG
>Wonder why the netbook suddenly grinds to a halt and network goes at snail pace.
EVIL EVIL EVIL.
BAD WINTERSTORM, BAD PONY. NO MUFFIN.
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Somber knows about this, and was kind enough to look at an early version to make sure that I had Blackjack and Glory more or less in character. Mech Station also allowed me to use his art for the cover image.
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I expected a little negativity. The story is a little niche, after all, but seems to be doing okay so far. Thanks for reading.
Bravo sir. Bravo. That was absolutely fantastic. I loved every minute of it. I highly enjoyed Blackjack and Glory's characterizations, they were spot on.
Sir, I think you have just created the "Mare Worth Fighting For" version for PH, and I applaud you for it. Tossed you an upvote to balance out the haters.
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I'm flattered. Thank you.
Absolutely beautiful and boner inducing. well done.
Bahahhaha.
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I aim to please. In more than one sense of the word, if possible.
Thank you.
this came up at a perfect time! i was just about to start chapter 23, guess i can read this first
You wrote: "The air was dry and thick, but refreshingly ‘normal’ after weeks spent outside in Hoofington’s constant drizzle."
I hate to pick, but the air in 99 is described as "hot and dank" when BJ comes back in after getting used to the outside. It's not dry at all.
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Well spotted! Thank you.
Although, that particular description comes right as BJ bursts ino the atrium, which is... 'unusually messy' at the time. This story takes place a few hours later, after things have been cleared up a little. I expect that the vent systems would have had time to compensate by then. I'll have another look at PH to see if I can find a description of 99's usual atmosphere and edit as needed.
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I think it was specifically noted as being very humid in the old Chapter 1, before the rewrite, because the air reprocessors aren't working well. Probably the same place where it talked about the lights always being in night mode.
A few more corrections:
"Then there was the dye that... ugh."
Is she referring to some dye she used when she was impersonating Marmalade? Could you extend that phrase a little to make it more clear what you're talking about?
"sly, knowledgeable looks" should be "sly, knowing looks".
"My pants" should be "looser".
809177
Oh, the old Chapter 1. ...eh. Makes sense. I'll amend.
The dye is from her disguise, yes. I didn't go into detail for the sake of keeping the grimdark down, but I'll try and clarify that a little.
Good call on the "looks".
Dohoho.
Do another from after they discover the joys of BDSM!
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I've considered the possibility. Thing is, if I wanted to keep it in line with PH (though I'm not strictly required to do so...) the only opportunity they'd have to do that would be after BJ's birthday. 35.5, maybe? Things would get complicated. We'll see!
Right, so what I can say about this was that 1: Read when woozy, so like with PH, I only got most parts of it xP Can start with saying it had a good athmosphere, fit IC and theme quite well. 2: Hesistated a bit when the "wing over horn" thing, but it thankfully didn't go further there. 3: Liked the mention of arousal, wasn't "wet", nor "engorged", something in between. 4: Really liked her mindset and the discussion of the two. 5: Found it quite cute that Glory was bad at it, which she should be if going with logic... unlike a certain somepony xD 6: Again, really like the discussion, such as the "wrong end" and the like. 7: However have to comment, that you do know "spreading her legs" would do very little, their genitals are on their hindquarters anyhow, and they follow the spine, not the legs. And apart from washing, I don't see how she could keep herself clean back there, or at least would be very hard. Even for a unicorn, at least without a mirror... or one heck of a dexterity ;P
8: Don't too much see the point of psudo mounting, but guess it can make sense for those into that. And just a small comment since it was mentioned before: do pay attention to that girls get erections, not just produce more lubricant. And a small side note: many girls likes to be touched on the side of the vulva before being touched on it. Oh, and gentle labia tugging also is good for getting extra ready. Oh, and also: "slit" usually indicates a flaccid vulva to my knowledge, the "closed line" you see when looking at an unaroused and unspread girl. And while Glory making sounds would be cliche, it is not uncommon heh.
And again, they're more than wet, puffy and hot as well. And do keep in mine their anatomy, it'd be quite hard to "grind them together when located on their flanks. On a random side note, the spots for the most pleasure in most womens vulva's,(can vary as said) are 1: Clitoris. 2: Prostate (g-spot) 3: Vagina and labia. And huh, can say it's not that common to have thick/sticky female sexual fluids, but some females do, was a kinda neat touch. Along with BJ being able to have a mental orgasm, doens't seem much like something she'd have, but as said, personality and whatnot doesn't really matter in these cases hehe. Found it a bit confused that she'd ask if she was good, going with how BJ did about all the sexual work, but thena gain, Glory did do a little in the start, and they talked. I have to ask though: Did Glory even know about Midnight? Also, can mention female ejaculation mainly just happens from g-spot stimulation (which is sensitive to pressure, not friction), one can practice to squirt without that though. (it's Kattlarv btw ;P)
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Thanks for for the 'in-depth'
feedback, Katt.
1, 4, 5, 6: Thank you.
7: Spreading wouldn't do much, but... well. Glory. As far as we know, 22 was her first time, so she's naive. As for keeping clean, I'll just file that under 'how do earth ponies change diapers?' Ponies do a lot of humanlike things, even though they might not completely make sense from a realistic point of view. Sponge on a stick and a bit of contortion, maybe? Then again, ponies are a lot more flexible than their real life counterparts anyway.
8: The pseudo-mounting was mostly an excuse for BJ to suddenly touch Glory's scars. If I write more clop, it might be more conventional. Or perhaps not. We'll have to see!
I'll keep your advice on anatomy in mind.
'Slit' may not have been the best choice of word. Good point there. I'll consider changing that.
Glory was noisy because she was implied to be noisy in Ch. 30. And because I thought it was funny.
BJ didnt have a mental orgasm; she was naughty and started rubbing herself.
Glory asked if she was good because she's insecure.
Actually, good point about Midnight. BJ never actually got together with her, and Glory may not have been aware that BJ had the hots for her. I'll look into revising that line.
Thank you!
Update: I've made a couple of edits regarding anatomy and Midnight.
834514 Glad it wasn't too nestled to be understood xD (and I totally forgot to make number after... 8 was it?)
7: For what we know, it was her first time. She could have winked to BJ though
(mares can "wink" with their genitals to show sexual arousal.) And while I can get that, this is like... several days into the wasteland. Clean(ish) water you drink, what you wash in, if able to, would be slightly radioactive water. While I don't see it as impossible, and she likely did was every now and then when able, I don't think she'd be too tempted to rub radioactive water over her genitals on a daily basis 
But yeah, I'm sure she could clean there something hehe.
8: You could simply have had that she wanted to rub her flank, and if BJ would've been more "not a smart pony", she could've given her a playful slap/spank without thinking of it. But on second thought, psudo mounting can technically make sense, at least especially if toys were a common thing hehe. Oh, and speaking of anatomy, I like that you kept it to a "grey area" what color and shape their genitals were.
I personally prefer anatomically logical "candy vag", but no mention of it can be neat to. But that's just me.
And ah, so she was... I think. I got bad check on these things hehe.
but yeah, I can see her doing that now after having some sleep hehe.
And imo, it was partially mental, since BJ got more and more worked up by working on Glory, getting moister and more loose until she was really hard (from what I recall) and began to rub herself with her tail... granted, I can admit if you are very pent up and aroused, you can pop quite fast once you start, so in hindsight, she could quite easily get off that fast
As for "being good", first I have to say I actually thought she asked if she tasted good
And nice to hear that spot check was of use hehe. I am honestly unsure if BJ ever told Glory about Midnight, but yeah, she never managed to get under her tail.
And kai
good to hear. I doubt I'll find them, (feel free to mention what was changed xD) but glad to be of assistance. Do keep in mind a said, I'm only 85 % accurate in some cases, and I as said have a few "PoV's" that are quite angled to me. And that quite a few people don't know what I'm talking about at times hehe.
809589
Well, there was Chapter 30, where Blackjack is introduced by Glory into blindfolds, ballgags and hoofcuffs...
Regarding this story though, wow. I would have thought writing in Blackjack perspective difficult, but you captured both her and Glory completely. Project Horizons is one of my favourite stories, period, and you just made it even better.
I remember being glad when Blackjack and Glory started screwing eachother, finally the double-entendre that is her name "Morning Glory" had some kind of relevance.
846357
Oh, I'd like to do something along the lines of 30.5 at some point, but Somber more or less spelled out the whole thing in the main story, so I'd just be elaborating on what's already there.
I was sorely tempted to make a 'BJ' or 'morning glory' pun, but I couldn't get one in without ruining the mood or being silly. So here's one now:
BJ helps Morning Glory with her morning glory by giving her a glorious BJ.
I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
Something happened to Blackjack which wasn't terrible..and appears to have no down side....
ERROR 404 - RESPONSE NOT FOUND.
(In all seriousness: I liked it, it was good to see this scene expanded on!)
Yay, a clop Blackjack x Glory fic!
I'm sad, though. Only because I read up to chapter 70...
I won't spoil anything, but it broke my heart ;-;
Man oh man, this was a well done chapter, and I enjoyed it.
You wrote these two spot on brosef, nicely done!
This needs more views Dx
Nice job!
6465957 You're telling everyone to like with the more views!? Tell that to a starting point of the clop with "A Mare Worth Fighting For"!
...Oh shit suddenly, I'm wondering if both BJ and LP ever screw with their respective marefriends together aka Glory and Homage... Someone make this a thing!
6466530 I don't entirely understand the first part of your comment xD
Hmm... IDK dude, IDK.
6466557 I was sleepy on that part so I was writing random junk xD
I want my wet fantasy to come true! Wait, mine? Uh... ignore that last part please!
6466587
This needs some formatting, lines before paragraphs, or indents. As is, it is very difficult to read.
Cute, though it doesn't quite match the Project Horizons ending. Rampage showed Glory how to do something we are not quite sure of and P-21 gave her a lesson or two as well.
More enter hits could be used between just about every paragraph to improve the readability. Right now it is a giant wall of text with some chips in it.
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I second the wall of text motion. I liked the story, but I had a slight issue of reading it. Wigglejigglesquiggle, may you please put one line of whitespace in between paragraphs to be easier to read? It is nearly a wall of text save for some indentation for paragraphs but is quite glaring to read right now.
Fuck me sideways, that was adorable. One of the few clopfics I've ever legitimately enjoyed. But fuck's sake, space your paragraphs! D:
This is so fucking cute and romantic it fells like my heart burst into butterflies!
This story made me very happy, and also a bit sad at the end... I found this mini story a bit too late. I have already finished Horizons.. and knowing what comes later... -sighs- but this was still alot of fun to read, and seeing Blackjack and Glory have an adorable moment is always great. Character wise you did a great job on them ^_^.
Thanks for writing this, I just wish id found it a bit earlier.
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6774991
Fixed the paragraph spacing. The original GDoc version had proper spacing and indents and everything, but I guess those got lost in transition and I just didn't notice.
Better late than never?
8049960
Yep, thank you for that.
8049960
Thank you. I didn't notice the before and after spacing but this side story was just as great as the first time I read it.
I only wondered on one quote from it, which seemed odd. However it is stellar in its current form besides that.
the acrid reek of gunpowder Not acid, right?
8402362
Well spotted. Fixed it now.
very well done bravo.
I really love to get some worldbulding. It even fits very well into stable 99.
Basics. Smelled is the past tense of smell in both North American and British English. Smelt is also used as the past tense of smell in British English. Brits use smelled and smelt interchangeably, but speakers in North America rarely use smelt. Smelt also has meanings unrelated to smelling.
You british?
Blackjack: Says everything is going right
Me: https://youtu.be/ATyZqhSBCfM
10745792
Whatever your joke was, it died along with that video.
10876846
The joke is everything goes to absolute shit after this point in the story.