"Through darkened skies and malevolent eyes, my journey never dies"-Skaltrox Orthuris: Knight of Defiance
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During a particularly large gem haul with Rarity, Spike uncovers a mysterious gemstone that leaves him feeling very different the following day.
With Rarity gone to Canterlot for three days and Spike in charge of looking after the boutique, things become interesting for the dragon who now has a new look on life.
This is a Tf/tg story.
Teen tag is for a slight mention of a certain "private area".
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Seems like it could get interesting... but we will just see, won't we?
For some reason, I find myself unable to upvote this.
7995894 Sigh, fine I don't care. If you didn't like it you didn't like it, simple as that. You could of at least spared me having to read such a pointless comment.
love the story so far cant wait for more
7996038 Glad you like it. I'm working on the next one
Please, continue.
7995914 No, I mean I tried to upvote this story, but it stayed stuck with zero likes and zero dislikes.
I could have worded that better.
7996895 Oh sorry then
My bad
7996380 Oh I am, I'm working on the next now.
A bit too close to purple prose for me. Hum. I just got this intuition that sometimes adjectives do not necessarily describe. I mean, some flowery passages are nice, but it is easy to be long winded.
I'm not sure, but this sentence does not feel right. One thing for sure, that semicolon really wants to be a colon.
There are other minor things like missed comas. I'd suggest to stick to some convention when using parenthesis or dashes.
This would work best as a dependent clause. There's a typo too.
You see, it's pedantic, but one cannot enjoy purple-ish narrative with this kind of errors.
I might be reading wrong, but the narrator seems pretentious (more prominently in the first paragraphs), as if Spike himself was narrating about himself.
I like the idea, though. Do take this with a grain of salt.
7997599 I'm sorry but I have no idea what half of your comment is trying to say. I'm not an expert writer. It's not something I have a great passion about, I just like to put out my ideas into words and show others, I don't give a damn what you think. I don't really see anything in this chapter that doesn't make sense and I can't believe your questioning how I write the narration. Look, good for you if your an aspiring writer or whatever, just don't aggravate me about minor things like that, I'm just not in the mood.
7997797
Didn't meant to offend you. But it's okay, I guess, I told you should not take it seriously, because nobody knows the reason/intention behind the author's writing. You may go ahead and delete my comment, if you want, but I tell you, if you publish your story be prepared for far worse things than I said from others.
In that aspect I like Wikipedia: there is a policy where you must assume good faith in the first place. Really, I just point out relatively minor problems (in my opinion) which everyone makes (that's why there is editing) but oh well, have a good day.
7998300 Nah I'll leave it. Look I was just not in a good mood earlier, also I have dealt with worth before so I am used to it. At least your comment doesn't come off as bad or just plain there to aggravate. Believe me there is some real bad people out doing stuff like that on purpose
I look forward to more of this story. I used to have a crush on a girl and wonder what it would be like to be her and look out from her eyes and wear her clothes.
8005574 Ok first off, this chapter without editing is still pretty decent. There wasn't a great deal of editing in this chapter at all, a good 90% was all my work.
Secondly, Originality? Are you kidding me? Please tell me what you have to offer to make this story seem "Original" because as far as I can see, this is pretty damn original.
Look I don't care what you think about my work, if you keep reading it...then swell.I don't care about how you criticize people's work(which by the way seems to make people feel bad rather than help) , but if you can't read a single god damn story without pointing out a minor flaw, then you should be on this site at all.
Seriously I'm this close to blocking you now.
Well that just happened. I like the way this story is going. But I must ask, why would you decide to leave at a cliffhanger, now I will keep thinking about this story until you update. Lol. Good luck on the story, I hope you update soon.
8005684 Well I just felt like it needed a cliffhanger. That is how writers grab a reader's attention after all. Also thanks
8006009 Thank you. I appreciate helpful crticism, I'm also happy to hear anything you'd like to be added in to make this story a little more enjoyable to a wider audience
8006034 Fair enough. Glad you like it though
So what happen to the real Rarity?
8037347 She went to Canterlot. Did you even read it?
8038719 I known that!, what I mean is what happens to real rarity after spike into her?
8039183 ...Nothing. What, did you think I would turn the real Rarity ? No way would I even think about doing that.
8040038 ooook
8040038 its one of those.person leaves for a trip and someone pretends to be them until they get back....
Now your getting it pinkie!
don't mind me im just sitting here waiting for the next chapter
8537735
I honestly don't know when I'll get the time to write it. And yes that means I haven't started it yet so it makes it a bit harder for me to continue on.
But I'm glad you seem to enjoy it. It's Surprisingly one of my more liked stories
Moar
8538649 write more I love this story
8538649
Take your time but please continue it