"Through darkened skies and malevolent eyes, my journey never dies"-Skaltrox Orthuris: Knight of Defiance
Marble pie is known to be the quiet one of the Pie bunch. But that doesn't stop her from wanting to visit her big sister in ponyville. As they come by Sweet Apple Acres, Pinkie begins to chat up Applejack. Until they are unexpectedly summoned by the cutie map. While Pinkie and AJ are gone, Marble is left in the reliable hooves of Big Macintosh.
This was a request by Calcen
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Why is this story marked as "completed"? you make me sad...
7873666 It's a one shot. But if I find anything else to write about then I'll make another chapter (but only 1) I'm also up for a suggestion on what else to write for it.
7873675 My dude, I'd say the next chapter is them on an actual date. That sounds like it could be really cool!
This was a nice read, there's a lack of commas and periods though. Also some capitalization errors and spelling mistakes. Also, there were some phrases that could've been worded better. Also instead of using #s to start another thing, you could use write 'hr' in between brackets (minus quotation marks.) Maybe you can consider getting an editor? He/she would be able to check and fix any mistakes before you post something. I think you did a good job with these characters though, as you're not too familiar with them.
You still get an upvote for a good story.
Also, I hope I didn't insult you with my comment. Just trying to be helpful. (I usually fail at that.
)
7873697 Thanks for the feedback. I do actually have a an editor. I may just swing this by them and see if they can get it fixed.
7873688 Maybe
7873739
Aww...that was cute! I liked this fic! Helped me get over my recent breakup
7873774 Glad I could help with that
Cute. Not too long, not too short. Says what needs to be said and does what needs to be done. I like it!
I knew you're gonna make an excellent story :)
7874396 Well after some small dilemma's to start the story and then finding things for Mac and Marble to do, I just powered through and managed to bring up this. Glad you like it.
That was such a cute story.
This was cute.
But the title "Hardened" Apple generated some dirty expectations.
7879528 Yeah I was wondering when someone got that. It's not meant to imply a mature side of the story. Its really meant to be situated with the chapter title "the soft rock" In which Mac is a tough apple and Marble is a soft rock, when you would actually see those two things switched around.
7879543
That word play is far more obtuse than the... ratings-inappropriate interpretation.
7879596 Look I just came up with the name on the spot and didn't really intend it to be set as mature. Because as you can clearly see, it doesn't contain mature themes.
i only read the title and my mind is going places i dont want it to go. i can only imagine how this story doesnt have a mature rating