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This story is a sequel to Passion and Reason
There comes a point in your life when you finally become aware of the road you're walking down, and where that road takes you. Where you realize the whole way's been mapped out for you in advance, and you never questioned it before. The moment where you first have to ask if you're okay with that.
Spike and Applebloom just want to pull over for a bit and get wasted.
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Special thanks this time to Ferret, Scarlet and Aragon, who tolerated just how goddamn angsty I am, and put up with me writing this. They even helped! Yeah, I don't get it either, but I appreciate it (and them) more than anything.
The name of the story is Biblical, right? It never specifies the name of the fruit in scripture.
7993315
Yes.
Honestly, while I usually think "current day" Spike never really notices the problems that the fandom often does... that he doesn't have the presence of mind to notice, I think it really works with an older version of him who is unable to admit to everyone he's having issues, because he's acted happy about this for so long already.
I can actually easily see a version of him that... can't even really tell what he does want to do, because he recognizes that what's gone on so far was not his choice, and that it doesn't bring him inordinate joy... he basically can't tell what he wants, because he no longer trusts his basic instincts to show him what "he" wants instead of just doing what he knows people expect him to do.
I don't know if that's really very implied by this story, but it maybe sorta is.
I think this is one of the least happy versions of Spikebloom I've ever read... but also like... one that makes a whole lot more sense than other versions, with a lot of things that unite the two of them.
Maybe I believe their friendship more than their 'ship ship.
7993323
Absolutely the idea behind it.
I think a lot of things that people in small towns will understand here is that some of them have idolized their family, their amazing awesome heroes, for their whole lives. Their whole lives trying to be like them. And it's only when they get to their teenage years that they start being able to comprehend what that actually means. The moment you realize that can be the most terrifying moment in your life.
There's a side story to this that Sweetie and Scoots don't have that problem. Their motivations are external, their heroes mercurial. Both of them are terrified too, just over the idea they'll never be big enough, they'll never live up to the potential others see in them. And that's something they can't really get Applebloom to understand.
Applebloom and Spike? They're terrified that living up to the potential others see in them is all they'll do. And that's gotta conflict hard with the idea that, if they don't do it, then they're letting their heroes down, even if they're growing to resent them for it. And they hate that they feel that resentment. All they know is that they don't know what they want.
This is a story about being mature enough to know how you feel, but not to do anything about it.Because to learn from a mistake, you have to make it first.
This isn't a happy story. But I think it's a real one, and I think something good comes from it. I don't think either of them are going to regret this.
I need a story like this occasionally. Like emotional soul food; my heart feels heavy but I am completely satisfied.
7993397
I almost said that Applebloom and Applejack's "mentorship" is the opposite from Spike and Twilight... but they are only superficially.
They both figured out what they wanted at an early age, then got it very early on. And they see their younger sister/assistant as the same, already being where they want to be because that's how they were.
The difference is that with the Apples, Applejack sees Applebloom doing the exact same thing as her. But with Twilight, I doubt she sees Spike as doing the same thing as her, studying magic and... well princesshood. I doubt she thinks that's in the card for Spike.
Also different is that Celestia had a vision for what Twilight should do. Twilight would probably have been content being Celestia's student by her lonesome her whole life, and she was only pushed out of her comfort zone (and started to want different things) by Celestia, who had a different vision for her (both of who she is and what her position is.) And Twilight doesn't have that vision for Spike.
But they are united in that, even if Twilight was passionate about self-improvement and forward driven in that way, her desire to move out of the role she had or get a bigger one was never part of it. And that's very similar to AJ.
It's good
This was very heavy stuff. Not my usual choice, but exquisitely executed all around. An excellent dark counterpart to its prequel, with the same incredible understanding of the characters applied to much more angsty circumstances. Thank you for a long, dark night of two souls.
Thank you.
Very angsty, but very sincere.
Why are you so good at this?
This was a well written, very real story. It could be any setting, any time, and these characters could be nearly any adolescent on the cusp of adulthood, because there's a lot of truth in the story without it having to hitch its proverbial wagon to My Little Pony. The story kind of tore my heart out, but just a little bit, because there was catharsis in there, somewhere between Spike helping Applebloom escape the clubhouse and them holding each other together in the cave. Your first choice in love, especially if that choice is also your first love, is rarely the right one for you. Its been my experience that those second choices are the ones that matter. You learn from the first, but you apply those lessons to the second.
Thank you!
This is a very good story, you've brought up a lot of good points that I have never thought about before and made their reactions very believable.
It might not seem like high praise, but you've made me rethink how I'm writing Spike in my own stuff.
7993397
I'm gonna come out here and say this.
I hate you.
I hate you like you wouldn't believe right now. Because you've put a name and a face and... a reality to what I personally face. Family business, small town, outside expectations, discontent, resentment, fear... and then you throw this line.
I hate you. Almost every time Applebloom opened her mouth, my voice was coming out.
People talk about how stories or stuff hits close to home. Your story invaded my home, and I came back to find its pictures where all of mine should be, and the jerk sleeping in my bed in my PJs.
This guy?
I hate you, I hate you too. Because this entire story, has put into words that I havent been able to speak or write out of shame, what I just cant bring myself to fully acknowledge. And while even the ghost of the thought has kept me up many a night, I am literally shaken to my core right now.
So yeah. Fantastic writing. Great story. But I hate you.
...I need a bottle of brandy.
Holy shit this is amazing. I mean it was great when they were hanging out, seeing their great chemistry figure out their issues, but as soon as someone approached the treehouse and the bomb dropped, it went up a level.
I mean...fuck, that "I'm sorry" line from Spike, handling that imminent mental crisis that drops on her like a pro, the whirlwind of emotions she feels and the way they almost collapse into the little cave for a really tense moment for their friendship, all of that just hit a note. Not the bomb, haven't had that happen to me (yet ?), but not far off.
So yeah, amazing. Gonna read this again. Have all my praise !
A solid story....hard as life.
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Hrm.
Has any ever told you that you're really good at what you do?
Because you are.
You want to make people laugh?
Tears of joy all 'round.
Want to make them cry?
Cries of woe resonate throughout your audience.
Or perhaps you're trying to give them a grounded view.
Or smack them in the face with life.
Or just be an asshole.
You're really, really good at what you do.
I don't think any other story on fimfic hits as hard as this. If so, I haven't read them.
While I don't have the background as some of the other reviewers, I could feel the raw emotions flowing through this.
And it fucking terrified me.
It's also a bit heavy knowing that spike is stone cold sober.
May I ask if this is coming from personal experience and if so, did you overcome them?
Thank you for writing another fantastic story. I almost don't want you to continue this universe, but of course I want more.
Also, I'm curious. At the beginning you placed the idea that maybe scoots and sweetie Belle thought Apple Bloom and spike were filling around. Why include them at the beginning?
Well goddamned if that wasn't the best Spike and Applebloom—separate or together—that I've ever read. The angst, the character insight, the not quite family resentment, and full-bore double heartbreak. I need a cigarette.
Man, I read this on the train from my hometown into the city where I work cause I thought "slice of life, yeah a little lighthearted read in the morning"
I was not expecting this to hit me this hard. It's too real.
This was an amazing read and pushed all the emotional buttons like it's predecessor. Your writing in this and in Mare in the Moon always leaves us wanting more of it.
Are there any plans on continuing The Demesne of the Reluctant Twilight Sparkle or is that on permahold?
7996102
I've got plans for one more chapter... just gotta get around to it now that I know what to do.
... roll credits, Spike and Apple Bloom's vocals up and over:
You do realize that the title for this story is kind of sparking a different idea in my mind than the one you probably intended, right?
Wow! That's how you start some deep friendship romance, right there!
Awesome job to all those involved in making this story.
Really want another sequel from that!
Hmm. I think that might be the most melancholy fimfic I've ever read. But it was also very sweet. I'd really like to see this as a series.
These two fics very much espouse something I believe, vehemently: love is a choice, and love is work. Infatuation can lead to love, but it isn't.
On a less fundamental level, I just also love seeing relationships evolve
Anyway, this was a lovely story and a worthy sequel to one of my favorite Twinkie fics of all time!
Have an upvote and a fave. I've had similar conversations with myself while drunk and you summed it up pretty much perfectly with this.
Goddamn this broke my heart. You made me feel things I haven't even revisited since they happened almost a decade ago.
A broken heart for a Favorite and a Follow.
Fair trade.
This story is great because it addresses real life issues while also captures the characters from the show perfectly. Apple Bloom has ambitions. Unlike Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle who idolize their older sister figures, Apple Bloom never really seems to want to be exactly like Applejack. In some ways she takes more after Twilight with her ambitions and the pressure she puts in herself to succeed. This story really captures that aspect of her personality well.
Well.
I'm not sure what to make of this.
It was really good, definitely. Superb, in fact. (Have a like and favorite!)
But...
Everyone else has already commented something meaningful one way or another. I'm not sure what I'd be able to contribute. Maybe I'm not smart enough, or maybe I just don't feel enough.
I'm not sure this was supposed to make me feel somber. Because it kind of did, but it also kind of didn't. It reminded me, for some odd reason, of "Hills Like White Elephants." I feel like there's a lot more to this story beyond what is presented, but I don't think I have the skillset to truly find that deeper meaning.
In that sense, I guess I truly am a big idiot.
But I'm a big idiot who liked this story, so that has to count for something.
Surprisingly, though, medicine and poison both commonly taste bitter. And they're both taken to accomplish some manner of a goal. They don't start off good, and some don't end up good either. Life is like that, I guess. You'll never know until you try. You won't make the distinction between medicine and poison unless you consume one or the other and understand that probably one of them is going to help--or not.
But the risk is there, as is the choice.
Perhaps that's just as important as the distinction, then? Who knows.
They say that love is poison, and also that love heals. Maybe it does both.
Just wanted to say that this story is fantastic, and I always enjoy your writing :)
This was a brilliant change from the usually fluffy stories I read and a surprisingly sombre one at that, given the prequel to this story. In a way, this twisted relationship they consider themselves to have intrigues me more than Pinkie and Twilights because it's so sad to see these characters broken but with something under the surface that could rise. They think they're bad for each other but under a different sky they could have been great. And still could be. This was a beautiful piece and as short as it was, you kept me hooked with every word.
Also, I think I ship them now and I'm worried there won't be a story featuring them that will live up to this one
Guess I need to get hunting.
Damn. This hits some deep places for me. Nicely done.
This has been remarkable, splendid, painful and touching.
Thank you for having written it.
Wow.
This is superb.
It's every bit as engaging and deftly told as Passion and Reason, with Spike and Apple Bloom coming across here every bit as strongly and well as Twilight and Pinkie did in the previous one, and their patter and interaction is a delight. But there's much more poignancy and melancholy here, and it's entirely to its benefit. The introspection is genuine, the appearance of Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle is a quiet heartbreak all of its own, and for all the anguish Spike and Apple Bloom go through in this, their final scene together's all the more earned and heartwarming.
Sharp, sweet, and damn, does it sting the heart. Exceedingly good work.
After the discussion in #writing-chat at night, I was inspired to re-read this (and I hadn't already upvoted it? What the hell?) and I just so love this line:
Because it's SO relatable for a lot of people, on this deep, primal, existential level. That concept so terrified me that I fled halfway around to world to get away from it (among other reasons).
I love the byplay between Spike and Applebloom as well. They're so honest and candid and wounded to each other.
The ending is perfectly bittersweet. I want it to work, but I'm afraid that they're doing things for the wrong reasons. Then, I'm reminded of Twilight's epiphany in Passion and Reason (that I happen to agree with):
...and I'm hopeful for them.
Hell, I think I'm doing the things I don't want to be doing for the rest of my life, and didn't know it could be put so calm and simply... great story, Numbers.