DarkRyu
Joined 23rd Jan, 2012 ·
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Cute derpy sex.
I like it.
interesting, Derpy love that pony so much....Is it wrong I wanna kill Matt and replace him with myself
7921337 hmmmmm...... I don't think so.
7921292 Eeyup
Well... it was sweet, short and really vanilla. Nothing bad to say really. A quick clop to fap to.
A lot cuter than I was expecting. Here's a like and a favorite.
Short, sweet and kinda cute actually. Kudos
It was cute! Cute clop is rare these days! This needs a sequel... or a bigger story... or hell longer! Derpy is just too cute sometimes for her own good!
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Super cute fic!
Either needs a progression or a sequel. Alittle too small to stand alone. But good quality and good room to build upon.
AND THEN THEY FUCKED!
XD regardless this was cute
very good
felt like a clop chapter from a slice of life vignette
top shelf stuff
This is sounding like it needs another chapter, but I won't complain if you won't make another. c:
7922343
agreed I would like another chapter but it would not change in quality if you left it as is.
....Why did i have to decide to watch a random family guy scene before reading this...i can only imagine and hear the main character as peter griffin...*shivers*....
But beyond that great story :D
When I read the description I thought this was going to be a trollfic, but after reading it I see that it is a very cute clop story. Well done.
Okay this
nearly killed me from how cute it was. I'm just glad she didn't whip a pony pout, that would have been deadly for sure.
Also I think she should have hugged Matt after he opened the door. It just feels like something out little muffin mare would do.
Really like the situation here. I often wonder how a dude would react to being in Equestria alone and having "urges".
My thought is always that either the guy will just have to abandon sex and become abstinent or just mate with one of Equestria's populace.
7921337
I think you might need to seek counseling. Or at least wait until you're a few years older to be on this site with Mature turned on.
7923239 yeah bruh i'm having fun here and i'm probably older than you, I'm allowed to have fun aren't , especially with this bullshit of a schedule I currently have reading the fics when ever i can brings me joy on the writers imaginations, as a artist by profession i'm allowed one thing to bring me joy i choose making weird comments when needed and reading awesome fics.
understand youngun
7923239 Wat?
Jesus fuck
The capitalization around dialogue is almost 100% incorrect, and when the characters speak, they make me think I'm reading a story for ten year olds. Then there's the lack of chemistry between Derpy and Matt. I suggest having someone go through this for you so they can point out where things sound too simple or are just wrong.
I always figured Fluttershy for Ponyville's main source of sympathy sex, but I guess Derpy makes sense too!
7921337
Yes. Very wrong. Infact, that is one of the most strange comments I've ever seen. Go back to 4chan.
Well... This was f*cking adorable! I hope it ends with the two becoming a couple, because that would just stop my damned heart!
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/073/459/1285425704843.gif
Seriously though, this was a great read.
200th like.
Nice story btw. Didn't make me pop a boner,though it was cute. Best way to describe my experience reading this?
I'm more sexually confused than a pubescent kid.
7921337 Excuse me while I get a straight jacket.
I would like a sequel.
Dude, need a sequel series. This is epic. You are a great writer.
About as original as a cheesy 1990s porn flick but meh, points for cuteness.
If you do a sequel, try to add a plot to it and link me, I don't mind OC human and pony ships but I had hoped there would be more meat to this fic than "lost my pants, lets bang".
When your partner (casually) implies they had sex before like it's nothing and you're still a virgin
Lol not bad short and sweet.
Despite people urging for it I dunno if a sequel would be a good idea.
I mean I loved the story for it's simple cute and sexy satisfaction - it's hard not to love Derpy's innocence - but I've seen a lot of stories run themselves into the ground because they were popular and thus tacked more on to the end to keep the ball rolling. In the end the stories often changed from cute one-shots to sprawling books of padding that don't really do anything fresh from most other pony fanfics. That said I've seen a few that became adventuring epics too.
I guess this is my roundabout way of saying to do which you want. Not what the public is rallying for you to do. As long as it comes from your heart it'll be art you can be proud of.
Holy fuck that dialogue.
Very. . . Eh?
I have a feeling this was more than 'sympathy sex'.
at first when i looked at the title i was like " well this does'nt look so bad" 20 minutes later surprised look ativaded
at first when i looked at the title i was like " well this does'nt look so bad" 20 minutes later surprised look ativaded
Whoa whoa whoa, when I started reading this, I didn't expect to see 2nd person. You need to add the tag, because some of us get like... mega-triggered by this style of writing.
Also, if I was to have a second criticism, it'd be that the dialogue is really... bland? Forced? Unnatural? It just seems really flat in the beginning. It gets better, that's for sure, but nonetheless.
Overall, the end made up for the beginning, and it was, as many have said; cute. I'm always a sucker for cute, especially when sex is involved.
I would actually like a longer Mayor Mare X human story, where she isn't acting that flirty and in control and actually cute and a little bit nervous. I somehow like the idea of her being a bit insecure because of her age or a bit unfullfilled with her job and how her personal life went because of that. Does some story like that already exist?
Good good, the only thing that could have this messed up for me would have been her having a certain personality again. This looks like a nice Prequel.
Would you care to turn this into a bigger story? Mostly concerning her relationship and them trying to find more friends or something?
Only to be sure I'm not thinking about some to complicated adventure or bad guy appears story.
I think even just a more happy story with Derpy being her usual self, a bit clumsy and weird, but not really that stupid would do too.
Oh god somehow this month I always end up getting some ideas and suddenly I forget half of it because I don't concentrate enough or something, at least I don't have that stress anymore, so maybe it is getting better again now.
It was a nice story, not to weird or complicated.
7921935 Yes a bigger story please I agree, but this time I kind of want one that is mostly working on some social prolems, maybe Derpy or both of them being not the cooles and most liked guys in town, Derpy for what she explained herself if I don't get confused with a different story right now.
Oh and I want the sequel to start there, not having a timeskip that avoids all the good stuff.
7927639
Yes I agree with this agreeing with what I said
Derpy is a character that is sadly underused and horribly portrayed in some stories. This story captures what I love about her, a fun loving, friendly and sweet pony with some insecurities about her eyes but otherwise a strong mare deep down.
7927665 Exactly.
).
Do you remember those stories where she is a super mother and one of the most strong willed ponys you have ever seen, like a warrior facing their rival and fighting to death? Well I like that personality too, at least if the relationship with her daugther is the main part of the story, but I see her more like...what you said (
Derpy just have to be cute and her acting a bit clutzy doesn't means I want to think less of her or whatever complains I had seen so far anywhere else when this was talked about.
7927699
Super mom is best Derpy portrayal. Shipping and Handling is one of the best Derpy portrayals on the site. Shipping and Handling
In a planned reboot of one of my stories she is a mother figure for Scootaloo and even is pretty badass overall. She can easily be a badass fighting monsters and demons and my Steam profile pic captures that portrayal. I hate stories where she is slow or stupid with a passion. Turnabout Storm managed to parody the stupid Ditzy story by having her as one of the funniest trolls of all time.
Mother fics are my known weakness, but strong roles, badass, surprise smart roles are the best portrayals of Derpy. Her eyes are only a front and Derpy should be one of the strongest and capable mares of Ponyville.
In case it isn't obvious, she is Best Background Pony for me.
7927718
I don't want to appear like I would only agree with everything you say, but I have to admit I love her mother role in several storys, but I also enjoy a more stupid, cute and clutzy Derpy.
I guess it depens on what the story is about. I really love adoption stories, stories where someone has a disability or is mentally ill, long story short psychological stuff.
So yes I like both, a really awesome and strong willed Derpy, but I can enjoy her being in a weaker position too. It just depens on how they write it, you can write everything somehow good and mess everything up pretty easy as well.
7927805
Yeah I guess i see your point. It depends on how the story is written. I don't like too much darker stuff, I do like happier things, but it all depends on how good the summery is, how well written the story is, and what mood I am in. I don't like torture stuff, but a good psychological horror story is pretty good. I just prefer her smart because it is really easy to make her stupid, and I don't like easy stuff (Diamond Tiara being a bully/villain/Blueblood being a dick, and Sparity and Shining/Cadance cause of the canon crush and marriage respectfully) it doesn't mean I won't read it, but just senseless stupidity based on looks alone just bother me.
So I tend to lean toward the stronger portrayal... but I am not opposed to the other portrayal, I just tend to like the more strong willed. It all depends on how well the story is written.. so like you said. I also can't stand most Lyra portrayals for very similar reasons. It is easy to make her a Bon-Bon and human slut because 99% of Lyra stories involve those, and irony of ironies I actually do incorporate LyraBon later in my story (which is not actually published or written yet... as I am actually rebooting said story) but it really irks me.
7927822
You think so much like me
I hate Sparity because well yes how easy it is and I dont think that they made an idiot out of Spike and made him look like a Baby didn't helped me to like it.
Shining and Cadance (Prince Charming and I forgot which name I had for her.) I can enjoy Cadance in a few stories though. I don't always enjoy it however if she can use her power like well actually saying " hey you back pony, go over to that pink one and marry her she is the perfect one, you can thank me later".
I liked that one story more, where they missunderstood her talent and she could only predict which ponys had a really great potential to be best friends or soulmates and the ponys thought they were supposed to fall in love or something.
It is the same with Luna. I mostly have nothing against her visiting a ponys dream, but I don't want her to visit if the pony (main char) doesn't wants it. I even hate it if she thinks she has the right to do it anyway or that she can visit the dream of a human against his will even if he is not even from their world. I don't like it if they do some or pretty serious stuff against the characters free will.
What you said sounds like you don't enjoy the shippings in games as well, I mean where they just let the main char marry or having a crush on his old friend.
This sounds a bit like the same thing that happens with Vinyl and Octavia, okay maybe not the same but Vinyl is always forced to act the same, being sex crazed and focused on Octavias body and having sex with her on the first date, not being able to play it cool or something like that. The same goes for some Rainbow stories.
I understand your problem with Lyra, I like Bon Bon a bit more, I think I read most stories with Lyra because of Bon Bon in the first place.
7927879
I like Cadance, I like Shining, I just don't like them together. I like Spike, I sorta like Rarity, but I would just rather ship her with Dash (I like Dash and ship her with anypony, but Twilight is the best.. it makes me think of the color purple, and not cause she is lavender, but I view ships as colors... I like the color scheme in my head for TwiDash)
I don't like Blueblood, but it is really absurdly simple to make him a dick. Like criminally easy. Diamond Tiara is 99% of the time portrayed as a bully. I like her better as more of tsundre, but even that is kinda stretching my tolerence of the portrayal.. and would just rather her be good. I liked this way before canon did it.
I just don't like Sparity, I like Spike better with Twilight or Sweetie... hell anypony is better than Rarity. If a story comes out with a good portrayal of Sparity, I will read it, there was a good one back in the day I read, but I just don't like the ship. Just cause I don't like something or opposed to something doesn't mean I won't read it.
Gilda is the same, I like her as a nicer character, but Tsundere is better.
I am a huge shipping slut and love my ships. But I just can't stand canon ships. LyraBon in the show is nice, makes me yell at the screen for them to just fuck and get it out of the way, but fandom LyraBon is kinda more annoying. I love Octavia more than Vinyl, but their ship is 10x more tolerable than LyraBon (probably cause it hasn't been in canon all that well except for the pandering episode.
Cute and hot, but a bit fast paced.
"9/10 Would read further if extended." -IGN
Good fic, but it hit one of my serious pet peeves: the HiE exposition dump. You could have cut out most of the first two paragraphs without losing much of anything. It's an exposition dump, and the only thing that the reader needs to know is that Michael is close to derpy, and that he's sexually frustrated. If this is a one-shot, why does the reader care that he works for mayor mare, or that he fell from the sky for no apparent reason?
Just a pet peeve of mine that pops up a lot. Beyond that, a solid, short and sweet one-shot.