BlockHead Jones
Joined 1st Mar, 2012 ·
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good job dude i like the touch with the music you added. haven't heard some of the songs before
. 9/10 for 1 or two misspelled words
gifsforum.com/images/gif/dis%20gon%20be%20good/grand/this_gon_b_gud_gif.gif
That is all
Haven't read it yet, but if the mane six are R63, you need an Alt. Universe tag as well.
1145237
I see... thanks for the tip
928491
Agree /)
1145263 (\
sorry i wasn't much help on this, my comp crashed w/o warning, and it's hard to proof via ipod.
1145289
its fine... my friend that goes to school with me did the proofing
1145311 yeah, it's just a blow to my pride and reputation, you know? plus i feel terrible for letting someone down.
10/10. Great concept, grammar was very nice.
Adding Lacy was a good touch as well.
in the pic, for OC's, i recognize lance and shadow breeze, but whos the one in the middle?
I LOVE IT HERE HAVE A R63 PONY!!!!
cdn.derpiboo.ru/thumbs/1223/677/2012/07/25/05_05_13_274_55782__safe_big_macintosh_rule_63_artist_freefraq
Umm, WTF are Lance and Shadow Breeze doing here?
there my friends and they came for the ride>>1145712
1145793denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw7547-71676__UNOPT__safe_ponified_image-macro_futurama_fry.png
Anyway, sucks for them!
Nice!!!
Only got two real complaints.
1) With a few exceptions (dates, proper names), you need to write out your numbers. For example, 16 apples is wrong. R2-D2, C-3PO, M16, F15, and August 6th, 1944 are fine.
2) Transitions. One moment, the narrator fainted, and the next he (she) re-awakens seeming without any time passing.
Other than that, keep on keeping on.
Lance? As in kickass222urmom lance? Lol dis gun be gud
okay i see with the first one but the fainting and time passing part... you see ive fainted before and it literaly felt like i was down one moment and awake the next even though two hours has already passed... so you see it the fainting and waking up are in fact okay... but thank you for your concern 1146281
1146281 Huh. I was always taught that you write it out if it's less than ten, not ALL numbers... Wonder if there's different rules based on region or something... (Not saying who's right or wrong, cause I don't know.)
hey.. no worry.... its all good>>1146561
gifsforum.com/images/gif/dis%20gon%20be%20good/grand/this_gon_b_gud_gif.gif lol cant wait till next chapter
o.o
O.O
o.o
=.=
-.-
O.O
o.o
And that was me falling asleep while reading this story but trying to stay awake BECAUSE I WANT MOAR!
so.... its good no¿>>1146936
1147033
These sentences always confuse me...um...yes?
1146561
Personally, I sometimes break my rule for anything over four digits, and occasionally for three digit numbers (specifically, anything with the word seventy)
1146471
I see where you're coming from (says the guy who's never fainted), but it's a little jarring to read. Hell, a line break would've been perfect for that situation.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Sweetie_happy.png The 'Do Want' levels are at maximum efficiency!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy_invert.png Moar.
Divert all power to do want capacitors!
Capacitors Charged at 50%
I hate waiting...
Good concept, but a large amount of this is just music links and lyrics. Nothing really happens this chapter, due to so much of the chapter consisting of links. Most of the characterization is done by clothing. All in all, I didn't really like your execution.
On the other hoof I would love for this to happen to me.
Why is this rated mature? Are future chapters going to be clop or not?
1149938
yes... future chapters will have sex in them
All I have to say is ........... WOW! This is awesome
thanks>>1152559
XD MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR DAMN I MOAR gifsforum.com/images/gif/dis%20gon%20be%20good/grand/this_gon_b_gud_gif.gif dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Sweetie_Belle.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Scootaloo.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Applebloom.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Derpy_Hooves.png
Wow - this is a first.
I have never had my posts deleted by the author for being slightly critical. That really disappoints me, for obvious reasons.
I'm also pretty surprised, that post was mostly positive, just pointed out a couple of logical holes.
sorry about that my siter got on to my account and deleted yours sorry about that>>1155048
1155912 if that's the case then I recommend you try to find some of those deleted posts. There was at least one more that was posted at the same time as my last one and was still here about an hour ago. It had some amazingly astute observations and helpful advice.
I also recommend you prevent the removal of negative posts... A story without criticism is one that no one cares about enough to criticise.
ill be taking that into account>>1155937
awesome
Any news on an update?
1276785
it will be soon
... Hate to say it, but the spelling is still kinda bad. For instance, site should be sight. There were a few others, as well as WTF moments for word choice, order, and punctuation, but whatever. I'm having a hard time taking this fic seriously, so... Yeah. I'm prejudiced, what can I say?
HHHHNNNNNNNNGGGGGG
It's too funny! It hurts! Keep up the good work
Also first!
1370560
well this is for fun and I'll be leaving soon enough
1370560
hey well I'll be leaving soon, plus its your choice for reading it... sorry if you don't like it, its not my problem... this is for fun
1370565
hey thanks, you know more funny will come XD
... im confuzzled i keep looking at the cover pic ad it took me forever to figure out who was who. also are they just going to leave their stuff in the woods.
1370637
aha... we have a smart person here.... getting the stuff is an adventure in itself... soon I say... soon