The battle of the Hoof ended 9 years ago. For some ponies, the scars are still fresh in the mind. As Threnody, a young heartmender working with the Followers of the Apocalypse will find, sometimes the hardest step is getting a Patient to speak.
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First!
Love it as always, really looking forward to seeing what happens with Blackjack since she's essentially... invincible.
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Invincible is a wrong word. She can be hurt, after all. Unkillable? Yes. Unstoppable? Possibly. Invincible? Not really, she already went through at least 2.5 bodies.
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Immortal was probably the better term. Or just really hard to permanently kill. She is the element of Perseverance after all.
And know you have reminded me why I was willing to download this as a .txt file and read it in class in February because anxiety Pegasus is super relatable especially the whole hatred of school.
I hope the wait for more won’t be another almost six months
...
Time for a crusade to wherever this foal abusing huckheap lives gentleman, to apply the proper treatment for being a cunt
A change in the breeze... Smells like... progress? Almost?
Glad that Thren's finally realizing she's a living person and not just a potato with heart magic.
Lots of little plot-y things woven amongst the conversations here. Not that the conversation is bad or unimportant; it's as fantastic as ever!
Balmy's insightfulness was really a surprise, but that was just the warmup for the real thing that caught me off guard. Cinnamon is still shifty as all get out, and it looks like Threnody is going to be able to get some much-needed support
which clearly means everything is going to go to Tartarus real soon now. I'm happy to see Thren slowly peeking out of her emotional shell, although it'll certainly be a while before she's comfortable there.Stable 9 seems almost like the emotional polar opposite of Threnody's group. Sure, they aren't without their own problems, but they seem to be handling it better. The paranoid side of me can't help but think that something sinister is hiding, but one could hope that they really are as good as they look.
Perhaps the Heartmenders could learn a thing or two from Rhiannon. Or maybe the Stable provides an environment that makes her style of heartmending/therapy possible, and it isn't something that would scale to the Wasteland at large.
In any case, I'm curious to see where things go from here.
Sounds reminiscent of that time Blackjack nearly offed herself before being found by Watcher. Wonder if that's a coincidence, or whether there's some deeper meaning behind it.
Great story keep it up
Hnnng, new chapter! Great conversation and character development, but I'm still on pins and needles about BJ
Great stuff, thanks!
Man I'd forgotten how much I love this. And Thren! Said Blackjack's issues had issues had fanclubs, girl you have issues, and your issues have issues. We got recent truama, deeply scarring past trauma, emotional abusive/neglectful mother issues, an eating disorder, and more. God damn you need help girl. I really hope you're not projecting too hard Heartshine.
Yes new chapter and a long weekend to enjoy it! ( I had to work on Monday so I get this Monday coming off)
Another enjoyable and interesting chapter; thanks for writing. :)
Overall a very good chapter. I liked the small reveals in it such as Balmy being a heartminder also. I also loved the cliffhanger ending.
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I could claim deep symbolism and make this sound like it wasn't an accident, but in truth I was thinking of what it'd be like to watch a storm roll in while sitting on Tillamook Head, a rock near my house that's out in the ocean. XD
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Well, that was a fun what-if while it lasted
Anyhow, it's certainly a good place for an ominous dream. Can't wait to see what's next!
Yes, thank you been so excited for this chapter.
You got me fucked up on that cliffhanger I look forward to the next chapter
I also hope this puts Threnody's relationship with Blackjack in perspective.
Okay, I'm going to say it: Blackjack's a shitty person. Now, that doesn't neccesarily mean she's a bad person, or even toxic, but she is highly dysfunctional, and whatever her intentions might be, she causes misery for everyone around her, for good and for largely ill.
I've likened her existence to being like if the destructive tendencies of Vash The Stampede knocked up the retardation of Lenny from Of Mice and Men and halfway through the drug using and beer swilling cooking God looked down and said "Yeah... gonna have a rough time of it, here's a mulligan" and He turned her into a pony.
Again, Blackjack isn't neccesarily an evil or even a bad mare, but she is someone with a lot of issues, and I think that since Threnody has been around those who actually have her best interests first and foremost in regards to interacting with her, it should put a new light on her future handling and dealings with Blackjack
It's finally good to see Threnody interact with characters who aren't either ineffective in helping her (or outright do more harm than good). Balmy continues to be a pleasant character since he actually feels like a friend who makes an impact on Threnody's behavior in a positive manner. I didn't like it when he went through a whole TED Talk just to inform Threnody that she has depression. It felt like you (the author) just possessed his body and made him recount words from some psychology textbook.
Rhiannon has won me over as the only adult in the story I actually like. She is spot on when she called out Sandalwood and the other Heartmenders for basically using Threnody as a tool without any regard to how traumatized she could get. And I really enjoyed the discussions Rhiannon had with Thren after that. It's something that's been needed in this story for a long time.
I do admit that I'm weary of the last scene. But otherwise this has been a pretty nice chapter.
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Personally I like that sort of thing. As long as its not to preachy or overtly political/societal I enjoy these little insights into other peoples perspective. You must also remember that all work outside of fluff or porn espouse in some way and to some degree ones personal experiences or opinions
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My problem is nearly every other character Thren speaks to is like that, and it makes me feel like anytime a character speaks like that, they're the exact same character.
I still like Balmy though, mostly because he's the only one who does that that, again, has a positive impact on Threnody.
Everyone else who tries to do something like that have mostly no impact whatsoever on Threnody's behavior.
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Well, our good writer is a shrink, so that might shine through.
And we have seen what effect having these sort of people in her life has had on her. Threnody is beginning to come out of her shell and heal.
What concerns me though is Blackjack. Threnody want's to fix her, and there's no "fixing" Blackjack. She doesn't want to change, and therefore wont. She uses her trauma as an excuse, and is a destructive force of nature in of herself regardless. And Threnody's either going to put some distance, or will destroy herself dealing with her
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And element of Screw-up
Man, remember when this story was about Blackjack?
I'm kidding, of course. But for real, as compelling as Threnody's personal journey may be, and as much as it enhances the story as a whole, Blackjack's been in a coma for four chapters now, almost a year of real time, and I really hope she wakes up soon so we can get some answers as to what the fuck was going on between her and Bubblegum. I am anxious for answers, and that ominous countdown is not helping.
Yea new chapter
Boo for having to wait for another
Keep up the great work I love reading these
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She made a deal. The stars will not allow her to die.
I just discovered something... Disturbing.
finally read it.
awesome chapter again heartshine thank you :)
Therapy horse goes to therapy. The circle has been completed.
Threnody really needed someone like Rhiannon who listens to her and help her realize some important things about herself. Namely that she’s not Threnody the Heartmender but Threnody the Person.
She also pointed out something that bothered me for a while: The other Heartmenders basically took a child and had her act as therapist for traumatized ponies. That’s not something a 14-year old should do. And she probably was even younger when she started heartmending. She had to watch somepony committing suicide!
Even of an adult this is a pretty horrifying experience. And in this case it wasn’t an adult but a child with serious emotional scars who was pushed into a therapist position. It’s a miracle Threnody didn’t break down earlier.
Yes, the Wasteland is a harsh place and Heartmenders need to learn how to use their gift or they risk injuring themselves, but the way they currently handling things is horrible. They need to establish some sort of Padawan system, where young non-adult Heartmenders accompany older ones and learn from them. What they shouldn’t do is letting non-adult Heartmenders setting up their own praxis without any support or supervision from an adult Heartmender.
Overall, I'm starting to dislike the Heartmenders as an organization. (Sandalwood and Slate or still cool, though.) And I absolutely understand why Rhiannon didn’t tell them about Balmy. Having him stay and getting teached by Rhiannon is probably far better for him, than anything the other Heartmenders would do.
Speak about Balmy: He’s a real treasure. I like the chemistry between him and Threnody and hope they will become friends. The description of the scene with him and Threnody on the cloud was simply beautiful. Makes me wish I was a Pegasus.
Strangly I still have mixed feelings about Rhiannon. She made several good points and almost everything she said about Threnody and the other Heartmenders makes perfect sense to me. Not to mention that she's exactly the kind of pony Threnody needs right now. So I should like her.
Yet I can’t because there’s still that part in the back of my mind that tells me that it’s just to convenient that Stable 9 happens to have the perfect Heartmender who’s not only the perfect therapist but also calls out all the other Heartmenders on their bullshit.
I know it’s weird to be bothered by that, but I can’t help it.
What’s also interesting, is that Threnody still tries to justify her mother’s behavior. Even after realizing what a terrible person she truly is. Which is understandable, because acknowledging something and accepting it are two different pairs of shoes.
Also this chapter confirms that Lilly wasn’t a such horrible pony until the moved to Junction City. Once she actually cared for Threnody and then something happened that turned her into a bitter mare. Maybe she wasn’t always a prostitute but was forced to be one after arriving in Junction City to fed herself and Threnody? That could've turned her into the monster she's today.
Makes the whole thing even more tragic, because If things had been different Lilly could’ve been a good mother. Of course, that doesn’t excuse anything she did, Having a crappy life is no excuse for mistreating your own daughter and I hope Threnody will eventually call her out on her behavior.
It was a long wait, but defiantly worth it. I enjoy these quieter chapters. Especially since it will be only a matter of time before the Family attacks the Stable and kills some of the inhabitants we grew close to.
Am I right in thinking that the reason Thren is more comfortable getting close to blackjack, is that BJ makes her ulterior motive known that she intends to sleep with her. And she can trust that's what she wants. But when it comes to friends who don't have any ulterior motive other than to be friends unconditionally, she's somehow associated that unconditional trust with the abuse she suffered from her mother and the mayor?
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Laughs in Evil Author
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And if her mother knew what it meant when she named her, well... Then this just got a lot more interesting.
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In the show we had ponies with names like Namby Pamby and Stinking Rich. So Threnody isn’t the first pony who received a very unfortunate name from her parents.
Then again, I always had the theory that her mother didn’t want to have children and felt that any plans she had for her future were ruined when she got pregnant. So she named her daugther Threnody, because with her birth Lilly had to bury her dreams.
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That is rather creepy.
This is... different... Poor anxiety pega needs help...
I've been wondering, what exactly does Threnody's voice sound like?
I've also been wondering what race Bright Light is... was that her name? I forget.
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Apparently that's near a place called Cape Meares. Cape Mares? Oh, what do I know? I'm Australian.
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You only just learned this? I found this out two years ago. Then again, I never heard the word used outside this fic I typed it in and was bewildered to see it was spelled correctly. Actually, same with Lacunae. Hell, I wouldn't know what a zinnia is without Omega Ruby... Maybe her mother can read a pony's destiny and give them a name? I headcanon that Threnody herself, Celestia, Luna, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Babs Seed, Starlight Glimmer, Nurse Redheart, Nurse Sweetheart, Nursery Rhyme, Cozy Glow, Pear Butter, Velvet Remedy, and Puppysmiles can also do this...
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Could she survive cancer angels and being crushed by giant Bowser?
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Much less a 14 year old who's been molested 720 times. If that completely destroys peoples' lives IRL I'm surprised she can still function. Jimmy Savile has only ~450 known cases, to give you an idea.
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It could be worse, I mean, I've seen ponies named Murderkill Deathgore, Quirky, Delicacy, Deepthroat Cockslut, Replica, Aaaaaaaaaaa, 💚, Apparently Shovel, Pun, Altus Bastion, Puppysmiles, Hush Now Quiet Now, Dlinnyy, and Spur.
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There are people in real life who went through horrible things. Yet they are still able to recover. Even if some mental scars will always remain.
Threnody is a pretty strong mare. That much is clear. She basically had to teach herself because her mother didn't care, was recruited by the Heartmenders and became a great therapist at a young age.
Also what happened to her is another reason why the system the Heartmenders have set up is pretty crappy.
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I quickly realised that Heartshine's system was a bit janky, and decided that it should probably be a minor plot point.
Gah, finally got around to reading the chapter, something always kept coming up...
Anyway, another great chapter^^ I'm happy to see that Threnody is finally getting some therapy, or more importantly, she's, um, "allowing" the therapy to work, I suppose? You know what I mean, that she's listening to what Rhiannon and Balmy are saying and thinking it over. Dear Goddesses that pony needed some therapy!
(You know, since reading this story I've been thinking how often in stories the characters should have therapy. In Steven Universe Future, for example, almost all throughout that epilogue series, I was thinking: "Go get therapy. Go get therapy. Send him to therapy!" And it goes without saying that there really should be some school therapist or counselor in Hogwarts Oh, and lets not even start on anime! Like, I got five on the top of my head where they'd need therapy!)
Also I figured out Balmy was a heartmended at the start of the chapter. Threnody, you need to pick up your game
There's something I've been meaning to ask about in the previous chapter, but I never got around to it. Namely... so Bubblegum beats up a mare into a 9 days worth of coma, and not only he isn't locked up, but also allowed to attend school? I mean, I get that he is a kid, and that he nearly killed Blackjack due to combination of drugs and whatever exactly affected them all in that forest (plus all the pent-up and yet unexplained rage he has towards her; side note, what a winning combo), but I'd think they'd at least try to keep him away from other kids (hell, I think in real world they would keep him away from other kids on the account of drugs, but, you know, apples and post-apocaliptic oranges). Unless they I am greatly underestimating the magic of that forest and how it affects ponies and how much Stable 0 ponies understand this (or I forgot and/or missed something in earlier chapters), about the only way this makes sense to me is that Threnody and the others hadn't said in Stable 9 that Bubblegum was the one who beat up Blackjack, which would be another confusing matter to me actually.
In any case, though, I'm anxious to see where the story goes next, and finally get some answers regarding Bubblegum's problem with Blackjack (and a few other, less important for now answers ;p). Oh, and to see my favorite/second favorite (kinda torn between her and Glory, actually) finally wake up. On that note, is that scene at the end just a dream or a form of telepathy?
Came here initially for the connection to PH. Stuck around for the Thren. The more I watch her as a character, the more I think I’m starting to understand what others that have been through hell and back go through. And the more I want to just give her a hug or just sit and listen. It’s a combination of intriguing and heart-wrenching to think there are folks who are this every day.
That...is exactly what I needed today. Yesterday I caught myself complaining about some really trivial stuff that just rubbed me the wrong way at the wrong time. Read this and it stared bugging me. Had to go apologize to the person I’d complained to before I left. I’ve got enough good in my life that complaining just suddenly seemed petty.
So, I don't think I've commented on this fic before, but after realizing that Blackjack was basically the worst part of the fic, after she was put into a coma the quality of the work has improved immensely, as she was the cause of most of its... let's say "problems", with the Heartmender organization being another. The fact that you're finally addressing these issues and through a character that gives a damn about Thren in a competent and sane way is... Well, refreshing as all hell, and I now have 3 characters to root for instead of just poor Threnody, thanks to this chapter. Although, if I'm honest... You may have to remove Blackjack from the work entirely; I've compared Speak being based on Project Horizons to building on a nuclear waste dump, and Blackjack is the literary equivalent of a Glowing One at this point.
But, to conclude: Heartshine, you've made a great and truly lovable protagonist that is until today the main reason I kept reading your story, so please let her have a better life; that T-minus has me really concerned that Rhiannon is on borrowed time, please prove me wrong.
Wow this chapter was deep and it makes you really feel sorry for Threnody. As I keep reading new chapters I get a feeling she wouldn't mind being treated like a foal with maybe limited physical touch even tho she craves to be have physical contact with others. Keep up the hard working and amazing job with this chapter.
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As I've, she's the destructive tendencies of Vash the Stampede knocking up the retardation of Lenny from mice and men.
in short, you can't fix Blackjack.
but here's the thing... she'd never do this
As flawed as Blackjack is, and she is, to put it as our church ladies would say, a complicated soul, she's genuinely not malicious or cruel. Nothing she does come from a place of ego or mean spiritedness, she's just a destructive ID, and part of the problem comes not merely from her but from ponies, and readers, who expect anything better.
One of the themes of the story, namely Project Horizons, being
That said, Blackjack is still a toxic person, as it currently stands, and is using her circumstances and past as an excuse. She's at her best in a protective role, but never as the alpha, if that makes sense, so things in this story might be the best way to handle her. Lord knows letting her stew hasn't done fuck all.
Also the Heartmenders need to stop employing ponies who wank off to misery and sending fucking children out into the rancid fecal compacted deathclaw asshole that is the Wasteland. Of course they actually think talking about her feelings and showing blots while aforementioned weirdo rubs one out behind two way looking glass listening to Blackjack litany of body horror shows the whole organization needs a thorough dumbfuck fumigation
Don’t respond
Just ignore it.
Don’t make this the hill you die on.
It’s just someone with another opinion on the Internet. People are allowed to disagree with you. No need to argue.
I genuinely like Blackjack!
Oh, goddamit! Why can't you shut up?
Yes everyone – including the author - says she’s horrible and sometimes acts downright predatory, but I can’t help but like her. She’s such a loveable broken mess of conflicting emotions. I defiantly would be sad, if she was written out of the story completely. Especially since the premiss of Speaks was “Blackjack goes to therapy!”
Ok a more accurate summary right now would be “Blackjack’s therapist goes to therapy while also trying to stop racist Unicorn mobsters from doing evil stuff.” but still, you get my point.
Plot twist: Cinnamon is the only Heartmender who's aware of how fucked up things are and the only reasons she's sheming to take control is because she wants to fix them. So she's actually a good guy.
A good guy who attempted to murder a child. But hey, nopony's perfect, right?
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I know, we all agreed at the last meeting my opinions are correct!
Well... I can't say I like here... but I can say I enjoy her. Its like following that one friend you had in school because they'd do something funny like eating a bug or sticking a fork in a light socket.
People keep saying that, and its dumb.
More like "Blackjack is enabled by a bunch of quacks."
The whole of the Heartmender need to be barred from further interaction with any patient and forbidden from using their abilities at all until they have recieved some actual fucking training from an actual fucking therapist.
Hell, they should be barred for life just because of their abilities.
Also someone like this should be Blackjacks shrink
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No seriously, I like her because underneath all the lechery and the acting like she doesn’t take things serious is a surpassingly deep character.
Remember when Thren asked Blackjack for firearm lessons? Instead of saying something like: “You want to shoot things? That’s cool! Here’s a Balefire egg launcher. Let’s find some Raiders to blow up!” she actually made sure that Threnody understood that a gun is a dangerous tool and teached her proper gun safety.
She may sometimes act like an idiot, but if things get serious she pretty competent and you can thrust her to watch your back.
Don’t think it’s going to happen either.
To be fair, it’s not like they can really stop her. After all she can teleport. Sure they probably could look her up in some high-security prison but that’s not a solution if you want to heal her mind.
Besides as Threnody said once: “Heartmending only works if the pony wants to change” And up until Threnody showed up Blackjack didn’t want help. She was content with treating herself like shit and drinking herself to death. Makes it pretty hard for any therapist to help her. Thren only succeed because she
is the main character, someone formed a special connection with Blackjack. And even then Blackjack stills tries her hardest to avoid talk about her demons and pretends everything is fine.Because if there’s one thing, the Equestrian Wasteland has in abundance it’s well-trained, well-educated therapists.
You have to work with what you have. Most Heartmenders didn’t receive any proper training because the war destroyed the government, most of the pre-war infrastructure and civilization in general. The Heartmenders who didn’t die because of Megaspells or the shock of feeling the sudden deaths of hundreds of ponies were to business survive the post-apocalypse. Tracking down and teaching new Heartmenders was probably low on their priority list.
Rhiannon was lucky, because she grew up in a stable where she didn’t have to worry about food or getting murderraped by Raiders. She may even have been tutored by an older Heartmender. Same can probably be said about the few lucky ones who were born as members of the Enclave, the Steel Rangers or a similar faction. As for the rest? They had to figure out things on their own with no guidance.
So what I’m saying is that they had to start from the scratch and the closets things to a real therapist is Heartshine (the ghoul). And up until the founding of The Followers, their resources were pretty limited. And all things considered they’re probably doing a good job considering the odds and have helped a lot of ponies. Point in case: Princess Charm in the first chapter.
The problem is that we don’t see most of their successes because the story is about them failing to help Blackjack until Thren comes along. Doesn’t justify them basically throwing Thenody into the cold-water by having her deal with suicidal ponies or wasting time and resources by throwing Heartmenders at Blackjack in hope of fixing her. But I seriously doubt that they are as incompetent as you think. Like it or not ,they are the closest thing to a real therapist that exists in the Wasteland and banning them isn’t going to help anypony.
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Kinda sounds like you have a rather deep emotional attachment to her. Fair enough I suppose, and I'm fully willing to admit I'm biased. And it should also be of note I don't think she's a poorly written character at all.
She's just no Guts is all
Like I said, Blackjack thrives as part of a group and as its protector. Just don't make her the alpha and you're golden.
No. Wrong. One hundred percent. I'm sorry mate, not trying to pick on you, but you are entirely incorrect on this.
Psychological trauma is just as, if not more so, devastating for ponies and while one might have a Velvet at hoof one should seek out a Fluttershy as soon as possible. An actual professional. And sadly this sort of thing can't be relegated to an Auto doc.
This here proves my point
The Heartmenders are unable, for whatever reason, to emotionally distance themselves from their patient and allow such a volatile and destructive personality like Blackjack to remain after showing said unwillingness when aforementioned desperately scarce resources could have been used in a just as desperate pony elsewhere, and the fact they let her fucking rapist with twenty feet of her shows them more concerned with whatever poorly thought out personal ideology they have over the well being of their charge.
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I respectfully disagree.
You’re comparison doesn’t make sense. Neither Velvet nor Fluttershy are trained psychologists So both are equally well/badly prepared to deal with mental traumas.
Like it or not but Heartmenders are the closest thing to actual professionals we have. They have the natural ability to feel the emotions of others – which is very helpful – and as of recently they began organizing themselves and taking younger Heartmenders in for proper training. That’s the best you can get in the Wasteland.
What’s your alternative? Wait for the NCR to reopen schools for therapists so that they first batch of therapists are available in five to ten years? That’s not going to help ponies who have mental traumas right now. You can't tell a suicidal pony to "come back in five years once we have properly trained ponies with certification".
I agree with you about them wasting a lot of resources on Blackjack. Something Sandalwood herself pointed out. Currently there are three Heartmenders on permeant Blackjack duty who can’t help other patients. There’s no doubt that she receives special treatment due to her status.
But not every single Heartmender lacked the necessary emotionally distance.
That’s at least four of them who remain professional and eventually decided for one reason or another that they couldn't help Blackjack. A few of them even said more less directly "Screw here! This is a lost cause!"
Do the other Heartmenders actually knew what happened?
Notice how she always talks about ponies who wanted to help her and not Heartmenders. They way Threnody describes the events it sounds like some ponies approached Threnody directly and asked her or her mother to help the major.
It’s very likely that nobody except Thren, her mother and the concerned ponies actually know that the major is a pedophile. The other Heartmenders probably don’t even know that the mayor was a patient of Threnody. Or if they know, they probably don’t know the reason for it. You can’t blame them for nothing interfering when they didn’t even knew about it in the first place.
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I love your debate, please keep going. I just wanted to point out that I may or may not have made it so that 240+ years of sort of running a gang/sort of trying to run the Wasteland's one and only non-profit appears to have had an affect on my ghoulified alter-ego. For plot reason.
... actually is it a self-insert if she's a character that was inserted into PH first by Somber with my consent, but I figured that she actually knew what she was doing better than Velvet as far as running the Followers?