runningtoastgirl77
Joined 18th Jun, 2015 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Stratocaster · 20k words · 189 4 · 4.5k views
- Pinkamena666 · 77k words · 208 27 · 3k views
- RandomChance · 11k words · 491 41 · 9.4k views
- Pinkamena666 · 101k words · 541 64 · 13k views
- BlueBastard · 185k words · 377 9 · 6.1k views
- Weapons_X · 457k words · 1,179 111 · 19k views
- Timeless Lord Slayer · 5k words · 108 11 · 3k views
Featured In6
Stats
Page generated in 0.079 seconds
Total duration
895 users online
1,132,570 hits today, 1,892,089 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
The story is great overall! But can you leave spaces in between paragraphs please? It would make the story easier to read.
7957444 Oh, sure! I normally do that but my word I typed it on must have auto-formatted it for me and I forgot.
I'll edit it now ^-^ also, thanks! :D
Are we dealing with necromancers? because I know this one guy that has like two swords made of dragon bone, and he can kinda like shout off a cliff.
The story is great, looking forward to reading it more. One thing that pisses me off though and shows a lazy writer (not saying you're lazy) is when writers don't show how the infection started, but that they write "I walked out or woke up and saw the dead" it's a lazy man's approach to just writing a little longer paragraph. That's why I like Undead Equestria because the writer showed that the zombie pony and another pony fell into the well infecting the town's water supply and that's how it spread. You don't have to show how each ponies infected, but for the initial infection, I would write like:
"the old mare collapsed in the middle of the party, Autumn backed away from the now gathering crowd. She looked around for Rose or Stitch, but couldn't find either pony. She looked back at the old pegasus mare that had wandered into the crowd and watched Stitch walk over, with an obviously drunk Starburst in tow. He bent over the mare only for the mare to reach up and bite him. She watched as three other ponies joined the crowd and attacked random ponies. She watched Primrose run into the washroom and lock the door behind her. Other ponies pounded on the door, but she wouldn't let them in. Autumn ran away from the park and back towards her home with two ponies demon ponies in tow..."
but not saying this is how you have to write this is just how I like to see writing done and it makes it seem like the writer actually cared about the write. Sorry about ranting but it's my opinion and I just wanted to throw it out there.
7961474 oh, that actually was a complaint I got in Equestria Undead. .. I tried to make it a little more obvious what it was. The infection process doesn't work the same really ( if a corpse falls in the water supply it probably wouldn't infect everypony) even getting bitten or covered in zombie blood wouldn't "infect" them and turn them into zombies. Its more like if you die the magic will bring them back to life and turn them into mindless undead... maybe.... So, to put it strait, it was necromancy! That wouldn't be a spoiler really. Who CASTED the necromancy spell though... well, thats another thing... ;)
7962794 I just hate fanfics that don't really explain the main idea of their story, but I'll let you slide this time
7962807 the first chapter and the begining of chapter 2 (even though it's not out yet) are more like set up. The end of chapter two should hopefully help explain what direction the story is going. ^-^ because it DOES have a begining and a roadmap to the destination, but its also about what happens along the way ^-^ the clear route its going should be obvious by the next chapter
Keep up the good work you just earned yourself a fan
Intresting so far
Great story so far
Well good job to the dad he tried to protect his kid to the end anyway good writing so far
You deserve much more views and likes this is amazing so far
8018429 oh, thank you so much!
I didn't see your comments until now! I really appreciate it!!
Hey guys! Please note this story is being completely reworked. Once I start putting up the new story in the Equestria Undead/Revived Universe, this story will be deleted HOWEVER I will merge the two of them together in the original equestria Undead. For updates, you can follow my da where I will post updates, previews of character concepts, and even more! Thankyou for your support.