Seriously. Why?
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Estee
Joined 4th May, 2013 ·
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"Twi, that was your gardener."
"I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking! I just saw the name Lawn Trimmer and instinct took over!"
You know, I've actually seen David Schwimmer in things and I still had to look him up. I feel almost guilty now.
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I am so sorry for not having thought of that one before you did.
But honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. Have you ever seen a typical landscaping bill? 100% chance that pony was evil.
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Well, at least she hasn't vaped Edge Strimmer yet.
You see, one day, Discord met Arnold Rimmer.
Discord was very annoyed, and... Yeah, that happened.
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Star Swirl agrees: he was in league with the plants.
"I am Perpetual Winner!"
"Go back to your own continuity, Cloud Kicker."
In any case, a very entertaining little interlude, especially given how the Brinner Brigade technically qualifies. Thanks for it.
Just before closing up shop for the day, one more challenger walks in -- a strange biped dressed as a clown.
"HOIL! See your doom before you and tremble! Freundlavin!"
Twilight replies, "Okay, who are you?"
"I'm Whipporwill Wimmer! Freundlavin!"
For out of nowhere, a small black dog-like thing, also bipedal, wearing a light blue sweater and a backwards red baseball cap with a matching red nose strolls in. "Don't worry, Princess Purple. I got this," it says with a slight Australian accent. It then proceeds to pull a dynamite plunger from a small brown sack in its hand, then depresses it, blowing Whipporwill Wimmer to kingdom come as he screams, HOOOOOOIIIIIIIIILLLL!"
The dog-child-thing doffs its cap to Twilight and AJ, then goes back to wherever it came from.
Twi and AJ turn to each other and simultaneously say, "We're done."
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Just in time, too. If he hadn't been stopped, he would have invited them to a private screening of The Day The Clown Cried.
I think you've discovered a level of doneness never before seen by ponykind.
David Schwimmer!
Seriously, the guy's pretty cool. Imagine David Schwimmer actually voicing a villain in S7.
Also, to paraphrase AnimatedJames, after Starlight Glimmer and Sunset Shimmer, the next villain will be named Seafood Dinner.
"Behold your doom, for I am Freudian Slip!"
Twilight Sparkle sighed and rested a hoof against her forehead. "I'm sorry. That's pathetic. I'm going to have to ass you to leav--"
"Ah, HA!" crowed the stallion moments before the Beam of Rainbow Magic blotted him from existence.
"Don't say it," warned Applejack, holding a hoof over Pinkie Pie's mouth.
"What?" asked Rainbow Dash, hovering so the flecks of combusted stallion would not get into her mane. "That he made an ash out of himself?"
"Hey Twi, I've got the mail!"
"Thanks Spike. Anything important?"
"We've got an invitation to a potluck dinner, a flyer accusing us of being heathen sinners, and Celestia writes that the political situation in Canterlot is at a volatile simmer..."
"I'm just going to stay in bed."
You wrote all of that for the Schwimmer joke, didn't you
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Nah. I actually wrote all of that because so many people keep telling me I write Twilight as underpowered and don't let her use magic to solve every last one of her problems. BEHOLD!
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*!MAGIC BLAST!*
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Speaking as someone who was a gardener (briefly):
That is entirely correct.
Someone once asked me why I would become a gardener. And I pointed out that gardening is actually mostly about killing stuff and/or cutting it to bits. How many other profession have legal access to that many murderously sharp and destructive implements?
Co-incidence?
No. No it is not.
It could be worse.
The new rhyming pony could be voiced by BRIAN BLESSED! A man SO LOUD EVEN THE DEAF CAN HEAR HIM!
(Actually, I want to see BRIAN BLESSED! in an episode, pared off against Princess Luna.)
And then Albert Wesker showed up...and all hell actually broke loose...
7828809 He could play Discord's older, slightly madder, brother.
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GORDON'S ALIVE!
You forgot one!
Twi,"Who are you,*sigh*
Green hooded menace,"I am the HEDGE TRIMMER"
Twi,"...and whut do yu du¿"
HT,"I trim all your hedges so low that everypony can see into your backyards and see all the lewd fetishes you get up to..."
*chainsaw starting and revving noises*
*blood spatters all over with the sounds of screaming ringing in all ponies ears*
Pinkie,"Nopone sees what Cheesie and I get up to in the backyard!"
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/1/3/798746__safe_pinkie+pie_animated_dark_chainsaw_stick+figure_artist-colon-yunguy1_doors.gif
derpicdn.net/img/2014/2/3/541982/large.png
I AM VERY CONFUSED
I am... News Skimmer!
I glance at the news every day, and use what little information I have gained to twist any argument to my favor! Cower before my selective ignorance!
What hath mine eyes beheld?
What is this madness??
And why, for the love of Celestia, does every villain like to have 'immer' at the end of their name?!
Ya know with all of the bewareing going on I was half expecting the box ghost to make an appearance... BEWARE!!!!!
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I can't help think that Discord would approve of Rimmer in some strange way, in the same manner that he might approve of the non predictable nature of meteorite strikes...
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We could already have had Brian Blessed. But sadly the voice actor for Dragon Lord Torch was miscast.
3.bp.blogspot.com/_lpL870wV2A4/S6EHFXYuZfI/AAAAAAAAEnk/kvWg1ftTeoM/s320/blessed3.jpg
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/0/01/Torch_holds_the_bloodstone_scepter_S6E5.png/revision/latest?cb=20160417191836
Wow, never seen a fic written purely in dialogue. Also is it me or is twilight a bit dark here?
I mean she practically killed all of them! Besides the last one I think, I hope so...
This is actually done surprisingly well for a dialogue only fic! I'm impressed!
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If you like dialogue-only stories, I have another one.
7830287 It's the work of Progressively Grimmer.
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Rimmer might be unpredictable to watch, but he’s quite predictable to interact with Discord in particular… :)
As to Twilight killing them all, I point to Too Many Pinkies. There is also a fic (ICR the title) that says Alicorns come in pairs, 1 good, 1 evil. So, Luna & Celestia. Cadance & Chrysalis. Now, Twilight & Flurry Heart. Which one is evil: The one that mind controlled a whole town because she was late with a report, or the one that broke the Crystal Heart & blew holes in the palace just because?
You forgot one, Nose Hair Trimmer!
I think you can guess what he does...
7831584 he bakes really good Quiche
7831177 so instead of Demon King Piccolo & Kami, we have Super Kami Guru and Slug
I'm surprised Seafood Dinner didn't show up
Dude, I thought it was just me
Interestingly enough, their (as in those in the show) reflect a somewhat similar meaning to Twilight Sparkle as well.
Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer are both related to the sky, specifically during the transition to night.
Those were just getting steadily dimmer.
7829737 so you were a news source during the 2016 presidential election?
I AM *insert celestial body orientation here* *insert light-related synonym here*!
7832474 you must be thinking of my brother, IQ Dimmer.
You forgot Pinkie Pie's half-cousin twice removed Maniacal Grinner
WHERE
THE OAKING SAP
WAS SEAFOOD DINNER
"Tremble in fear before me, for I am... Dunh-dun-DUHHNN ... the nefarious Weed Wacker!
*!SUPER-MEGA-KICK!*
"Applejack! Athe only thing this poor sod could hurt is grass!"
AJ bats an ear. " Ah know, sugarcube. But he verbalized his own sound effects. Y'all know Ah cain't stand that!"
Twilight nods.
"Yeah. I know just how you feel. For me it's the type of pony who is a–"
"–Sentence Finisher!"
*!KABOOM-SPLATTER!*
"Haaaaaiii."
"Well, you see, um, I, ahem, totally am going to, you know, defeat you."
[youtube=vjdpLEtvmRA]
I was a fan of Red Dwarf growing up so I liked Glass Rimmer.
I kind of miss him (Sees Rimmer Experience Video)
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I NEVER WANT TO SEE OF HEAR FROM THAT SCUM SUCKING LYING WEASEL MINDED SMEG HEAD!!!IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!
Only true fans can laugh as hard as I do every time I see it.
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Did somebody say Red Dwarf?
[youtube=WiBYFkABr7Y]
"BEHOLD! For I am THE DOWNVOTER! That's right I'm the one that goes and downvotes stories simply because I can! Fear me!"
"Twilight" Ain't ya gonna do something?"
"Ah, you know you can't feed the trolls."