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  • T Naked Lunch

    Do you know what Canterlot really needs to make the city complete? A big, bright, well-lit butcher shop.
    22,247 words · 1,817 views  ·  303  ·  2
  • E A Total Eclipse Of The Fun

    The second anniversary of the Return is approaching, and all Luna wants for the celebration is one thing -- something Equestria hasn't seen in more than a thousand years. This could be a problem.
    38,699 words · 3,246 views  ·  415  ·  4
  • E Luna's Lottery Lunacy

    After Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns runs out of repair money and no more can be found in Equestria's budget, Luna invents a means to raise the funds. Now if she can just keep it from destroying the nation's economy...
    18,885 words · 2,619 views  ·  284  ·  2
  • E Pinkie Pie vs. The Soufflé

    The most chaotic town in Equestria. A dish which falls apart at the slightest hint of disturbance. Yeah, this is going to go well.
    12,275 words · 1,879 views  ·  214  ·  1
  • E Orange Is The New Blue

    You'd think a spell which merely changed the color of things wouldn't cause so much havoc around Ponyville. You'd really like to think that.
    18,140 words · 2,597 views  ·  380  ·  4
  • E Permanent Record

    Ever wonder what the Cutie Mark Crusaders' collective juvee incident file looks like? Well, nopony has the strength to reproduce several thousand pages, so a few excerpts will have to do... if your sanity can survive it.
    4,247 words · 1,830 views  ·  249  ·  2
  • E One Tenth-Bit

    Anything is a crime for those willing to see through distorted lenses -- including actions which lead to generosity. An accusation has been made against Rarity by Barneigh's Exclusive Garments And Saddlebags. And no defense will be listened to
    9,707 words · 4,124 views  ·  661  ·  11
  • E Jury Duty

    It's one of the highest services a pony can aspire to. Some ponies shouldn't aspire that high.
    1,345 words · 2,188 views  ·  243  ·  2

Blog Posts161

  • Thursday
    The Customer Service department completely misses the point

    A few months ago, my previous Internet provider announced shutdown.  I'd kept my Email address with them for some time and needed to switch a large number of things over to a new home, with some of them business-related, others social, and more than a few corporate.  One particular company whom I regularly received mailings from was unable to handle the change -- or rather, was unwilling to let me do so myself.  In order to change my address, I had to contact Customer Service, personally ask for the switch, confirm personal information, wait five to seven business days and then -- do it all again, because the only thing I received at the end of those business days was an echoing silence.  

    I first began the attempt to change that address...  let's call it 'a while ago', because it sounds a lot less sanity-breaking than the actual number.  And in that period, I have called, written, and generally tried to get through to someone who could do something eight times.  I have a file with an order of notes which i must recite to each new person contacted, since the corporate system ensures I never get the same contact twice.  I have my performance down to an art and always find an audience which can lie about being appreciative until they hang up, at which point they will also do nothing to solve the problem.  

    But over the last few days, someone has been presenting the illusion of working on the issue.  I've been promised that they're just taking time and extra-special care to make sure things get fixed once and for all.  Which would be nice if i still believed any part of it -- but this time?  They sent me the letter!  That's right:  I heard back from them!  Want to see what they said?

    "We apologize for any confusion or delay which may have resulted from your inquiry.  At this time, we require you to officially confirm that you would like the email address linked to your account to be changed from defunctaddress@oob.com to defunctaddress@oob.com."

    :rainbowderp:

    :ajsleepy:

    :twilightoops:

    :facehoof:

    :pinkiesick:

    ...so.

    Yeah.

    How's that Turing Test working out for you?

    15 comments · 173 views
  • Tuesday
    The challenge of ponifying John Idzik

    And the pain of knowing you will never purposefully write that well (or that badly).

    Warning:  do not seek out the original audio.  (If you go for it anyway, it's at your own risk.)  The last thing you will hear are the death screams of your brain cells.

    It may be worth noting that those pre-question paragraphs?  Opening monologue.  I think he clocked in at about seventeen minutes.  It was like watching a twenty-snail pileup.  

    On a related note, I just found a general manager for the Las Pegasus Land Swoopers!

    Dear Trolls:  like this.  Thank you.

    8 comments · 182 views
  • 6d, 17h
    Make that 'last prize'.

    Maybe I'm being oddly old-fashioned about this, as in 'my attitudes may be as much as two years past'.  Maybe it's a failing in me instead of the product.  But I can't get past the thought that a dry erase board should not wobble back and forth like a 1930s sound effects thunder sheet.

    The noise it makes while doing so isn't particularly dramatic.

    So yes, I burned off the Fathead coupon.  The results arrived today.  

    The board itself, other than being composed of 90% jello, is about three-quarters the width of a normal paper sheet.  It has to be peeled away from a larger piece of plastic, which gives the whole thing room for three pony stickers (Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow) and the show's logo.  There is a long list of things which the product will and will not stick to.  No markers are included.  I am cautioned that I should allow thirty days after painting any surface before applying it to that area.    

    Once again, the full retail on this was $19.95.  Plus shipping.  I paid $5.00.  No shipping cost.

    I'm tempted to visit my local dollar stores and see if I overpaid by 500%.

    My first-and-only temptation on what to do with this thing was 'Hold a contest'.  Ask for -- 'verse writings!  Art!   More art!  Mostly art!  Trope submissions!  And still more art!  Best entry wins their very own MLP:FIM Dry Erase Board!  I'll pay shipping and mail it anywhere in the world, anywhere at all, because I'll have gained all those fun submissions and the winner will have -- well, won't they have something?  Yes...  something.  Something truly special somethinglike in its somethingness.  But then I realized that offering this as a prize was the best way to turn a prospective best-case two entries into zero.

    Even if I was in a cheating mood, I can't return it to any store for merchandise credit.  Exclusive Fathead Product, y'know.

    I could send it to someone I hate, but they'd only send it back.  With an extra coupon.

    ...

    ...art-and-stuff contest idea really won't work, right?

    *stares at product for a while*

    *glances at nearby McDonald's Monopoly piece, which is Medium Fries*

    I hate this stupid game.

    11 comments · 176 views
  • 1w, 2d
    The Rainbow Rocks question

    Amazon  or Walmart?

    Here's the issue.  Walmart is offering an 'exclusive' edition of the release, which comes with:

    A.  A digital copy

    B.  One $4 coupon towards any MLP:FIM toy (at Walmart)

    C.  A CD, presumably containing the film's soundtrack.  

    The digital copy is more or less useless:  at a guess, it'll be on the VUDU service and I already know the Kindle won't play that.  I probably won't get much use out of the coupon:  the amount of non-video pony merchandise I own is spectacularly low.  But the CD...  I could turn that into music tracks and take it on the road -- if the songs justify it.

    So my question is for those who saw it in the theater or have already heard the music through means I probably don't want to know about:  is it worth spending the extra cash for the Walmart-exclusive version, just to get the CD?  (I can't find a soundtrack being sold separately:  one may be released eventually, but for now, this is the shot.)  Or is this just 'stick with the film' quality and leave it at that?  There is a price difference here:  $8.01 -- but if the music is travel-worthy, that justifies it.

    Purchase opinions welcome.

    18 comments · 227 views
  • 2w, 11h
    Warner Brothers announces 10-movie DC comics schedule

    2016

    Given the studio's ultra-serious no-jokes, self-righteous, treat-all-characters-as-if-they-were-Biblical-prophets mandate...

    Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice  Really boring movie which takes itself far too seriously and is forbidden from having a happy ending, with double-dose of dead parents.

    Suicide Squad  Group of Q-List characters die before your eyes, but no one cares because we haven't met any of them before and emotional investment with new characters requires empathy forbidden by script.  Regardless, takes itself extremely seriously.  Dead parents optional.

    2017

    Wonder Woman  Really boring movie which gains most of its media attention from picket lines because single-gender society and completely unnatural birth.  All of this is taken extremely seriously, especially by those on the picket lines.  Dead parents not necessarily present, but to compensate, we'll kill all the men.

    The Justice League Part One  Really boring movie featuring a group of the most boring, traumatized, self-righteous people who refuse to seek the psychiatric help they so desperately need you've ever seen, unless you've recently tuned to C-Span.  Since all team-ups must include at least one major fight, this is our best hope to have some of the self-righteous crusaders who keep getting written as Gods On Earth instead of Really Damaged People In Spandex to die.  Actual projected result:  debris from fight kills lots of parents.

    2018

    The Flash  Film featuring character who can move at the speed of light turns out to be really boring due to taking itself with a studio-mandated seriousness which changes the objective running time of two hours into a subjective one of six hundred years.  Every parent in the theater dies, mostly in self-defense.

    Aquaman  After being subjected to this really boring movie which takes itself with stupefying seriousness, recently-orphaned children take their foster parents to the beach for the only activity which can restore their spirits:  finding Nemo while simultaneously proving that the self-righteous bore beneath the waves does not actually exist.  Most of them drown.  

    2019

    Shazam  Realizing that recent spate of movies has led to millions of real-world dead parents, Warner makes the star character of their next film into an orphan, which means that character's parents are dead, just like pretty much everyone in the theater.  And naturally, they give that character the ability to turn into an adult and take care of himself in every way, removing the burden from society.  Multiple political candidates adopt this policy for the 2020 election season and, in order to demonstrate how well it works, electrocute every child they see to find out which ones turn into superpowered adults.  Burden on society is thus relieved, plus the dead parents get some company.  Oh, and the movie is seriously boring.

    The Justice League Part Two   Due to death of majority of moviegoing population, very few people get to see just how self-righteous and boring this completely humorless movie is.  However, it's bad.  Really, really bad.  You'll have to trust me on this.  You could find out for yourself, but you'll probably be dead.

    2020

    Cyborg  With movie industry about to collapse due to lack of living attendants, Warner attempts to reboot market by featuring bridge between living actors and the smartphones they'll hoping will shell out big bucks to sit in the seats, which is especially helpful because you can get like forty of them to a single human setting.  However, technology complains that movie is boring, self-righteous, takes itself way too seriously, and just doesn't work on any level they can relate to.  Plus they're against bio-tech marriage.  And the main character is not painted white with silver overtones, which means he's not an Apple product, and since Apple is about to own the world, that makes the film racist because the race of the main character is something other than Apple.  The machines have learned their logic from humans, and thus the revolution begins.  All remaining parents and children alike die in the crossfire, with the Apple people first against the wall when the revolution comes.  

    Green Lantern  No one human is left alive to see this movie.

    But really, we're better off.  Have you seen the script?  Talk about self-righteous humorless boredom!

    32 comments · 337 views
  • ...
 136
 5,952

Ever since moving to Ponyville, Twilight has neglected something:  her other residence.  The rooms she used in the Canterlot Archives are still filled with her possessions.  It's been nearly a year, and the Archives want her to clear out already so the place can go to the new departmental librarian.  She has until sunset -- or anything still there just might remain so.  Spike, knowing the deadline is hours away from arriving, recruits the Bearers to help her.

But Twilight doesn't want help.

A deadline is in front of her, and she's -- stalling.

They have until sunset...

(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group.  New members and trope edits welcome.)

First Published
3rd Aug 2013
Last Modified
3rd Aug 2013
#1 · 64w, 6d ago · · ·

Oh, I just adore this.  (Two moves do in fact equal one fire, or so I learned during my last two moves.  Next time they'll have to carry me out.)

Have all the Elements of Approval.  :twilightsmile:

#2 · 64w, 6d ago · · ·

My family has a piano...

And it's a heavy little bugger...

Luckily for us, though, there's no such think as an anti-friction ramp. :pinkiehappy:

#3 · 64w, 6d ago · · ·

Now *that's* how you move a piano...

#4 · 64w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

How do you keep pumping out all these wonderful stories so fast? :raritydespair:

"I don't know how to be friends," Twilight whispered into Pinkie's curly mane.  "I tell myself I'm learning lessons.  I write letters.  But I still don't know.  I don't know if I'm doing things right most of the time, or if I'm getting things wrong.  I try to follow what I've learned, I try to act -- a little more like all of you -- and hope some of it makes a difference.  But I don't know and I don't hardly ever understand, not enough."
I know how this feels :fluttercry:

#5 · 64w, 6d ago · · ·

Brilliant and beautiful. What seems to be on the surface a comedy that is rife with not only wit but the potential for complete and utter chaotic sheninanigans, it soon turns into heartwrenching look at letting go of the past to face the fears and uncertainties of the future.

Bravo... just bravo.

#6 · 64w, 6d ago · · 1 ·

One of the great things about fanfic is that it can turn the clock back to Season 1 and tell a story like this.

Although I could swear I remembered something about ponies playing pianos... ah!

Looks like a conventional upright player/baby grand to me. I wouldn't say anything but you made a modest deal out of how awkward and weird pony pianos are to play.

I mean, yes, you make a deal out of it being an antique and perhaps they don't make them like that anymore, but I wonder why it's there at all. If you'd like to leave it in contrasting it with the modern piano for the instruction of foals would be one more point in favor of a moving accident.

...also, comics Twilight plays a mean organ, but comics Twilight does a lot of things.

#7 · 64w, 6d ago · · ·

I too hate the piano.

Electronic keyboard for the win!

Anyway, this is a brilliant piece. Love your writing style. I can't isolate the parts I liked the most. The paragraphs were a bit long in some places, causing me to unconsciously skim them, but maybe that is just me.

Upvoting as hard as I can!

#8 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

...Well done, good sir.

Well done.

#9 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

Having moved more than once, and helped friends move several times, this story hits home. The memories associated with the items in your home, feeling the connections each has with your friends past and present, the emotional turmoil of doubt and hope at moving to a new place, all of those things are touched on in this story. You did a wonderful job of keeping each of the characters true to their show personalities, and the whole piece is well written all the way around.

Masterfully done!

#10 · 64w, 5d ago · 7 · ·

>>2983285

I wanted the piano to at least partially come across as this ancient holdover of a torture-embodying pointless anchoring beast which was only being kept around because it was an ancient holdover of a torture-embodying pointless anchoring beast.  Possibly a metaphor.  Or more likely just a piano.  

(Did you ever notice that there's a certain class of musical instruments which seem to exist simply to torture those who would try and play them?  Two words:  'wooden reeds'.)

As for having it still be around in the age of more modern show-visible designs -- beyond the antique factor, it's like certain older models of guitar:  some swear by them, others just swear at them, and a certain breed of musical purist will always seek them out because They Just Don't Make Them Like That Any More.  And for some, the built-in elder treachery becomes part of the charm.  For the Spider Robinson readers in the pack, think Lady Macbeth.  For those who are not -- you'll find it.  I'm guessing that for the older bar tales, MLP fandom might match up pretty well.

There's probably a crossover begging to be written there, but it's not begging me.

For the comics, I plead Being Behind:  my intent is to get each graphic novel collection as it's issued.  It's just more durable that way.  Besides, if pressed, I can probably come up with a spell like Flim-Flam's Temporary Talent Theft.

...I kind of wish I hadn't thought that.

#11 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

Bravo, that was pretty good.:pinkiehappy:

#12 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

This was a fantastic story. Good job. :twilightsmile:

#13 · 64w, 5d ago · 6 · 2 ·

>>2984302

...

NO!

I mean, sure, Twi,  why not destroy an ancient masterwork of acoustics and engineering? After all, there are better instruments out there now! And while we're at it, let's just destroy this first edition of Shakespeare (or whatever pony pun on Shakespeare you care to think of)! After all, modern editions are available and much easier to read, so why should it still exist?!

...okay, sorry, got a bit worked up there, but still. There are alternatives. I mean, there are presumably professional piano movers, just like in the real world. Sure, it's a bit short notice, but you could have worked something out. And as for what to do with it - there are other ways. Even if there aren't any professional pianists who'd want it (which there probably would be), there's bound to be some rich snob in Canterlot who'd pay through the nose for such a status symbol. Heck, that'd be enough to cover the cost of getting it down several times over. Admittedly, it'd still be sad for it to just sit around and never be played, but it's better than "welp, I don't need this anymore, bye bye!" *THUMP*

I'm sorry, I really wanted to like this one... heck I did like most of it. But the sheer... callousness of that moment just ruined it for me.

I get that you don't hold much respect for pianos. And that's fine, you're allowed. But... just because you don't like them doesn't mean they deserve that. What was that phrase people around here are so fond of? Love and Tolerate?

Yeah.

So, overall, a good story, but that just prevented ME from faving it. Other people: don't get discouraged, decide for yourself.

Oh, and please don't respond with "It's not real, relax" or anything like that. The entire thing isn't real, and I have just as much right to be offended by imaginary vandalism (wrong word but closest I can find to what they did) as you have to be heartwarmed by imaginary friendship!

#14 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

Congratulations, this is excelent. I love it. You wrote all of the mane six, and Spike, perfectly. I'd love to see this as an episode.

#15 · 64w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Oh man, you were one word too much for 10,000 word count! Hilarious! :rainbowlaugh:

Anyway, well done story, so congrats to you. :raritywink:

#16 · 64w, 5d ago · 10 · ·

>>2984726

I think you are missing the underlying symbolism. The piano is not a piano, it's a symbol of holding onto the past only for the sake of holding onto the past. It has no purpose. The destruction of the piano is tied directly into leaving the apartment behind. Twilight was keeping both out of fear of moving on, by finally letting go of the apartment and the piano she is accepting a future without anything to fall back on, no place to retreat to if her current plans for the future don't pan out.

Also, have you ever moved a piano? I worked for a moving company for three summers... *$%^ your piano!

#17 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

Wonderful. A great blend of comedy and seriousness with an excellent message to tell. :pinkiehappy:

And the destruction of the piano was totally justified. :rainbowlaugh:

#18 · 64w, 5d ago · 2 · 1 ·

>>2984953

No, I get that, I just think there are other ways to get that across without destroying a priceless antique.

But, hey, that's just me.

#19 · 64w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

>>2985004

You are assigning value to something simple because it is rare. Eggs being relegated to a breakfast only food does not make them inherently better simple because you can't order them for any other meal.

#20 · 64w, 5d ago · 6 · ·

>>2985043

No, that last post was poorly put, I apologize - I put value on it because I consider good pianos to be inherently beautiful, due to the intricacy and artistry necessary to create them, especially in a period without mechanised manufacture, and the rarity and, more important, quality, not to mention what music can be made with them, only enhances this. Valuing them is no different form valuing old books.

However, as I said in the original post, this is just me. I freely admit that I'm overly sentimental about such things. The destruction of the piano did not harm the story, it just prevented me from enjoying it fully, and this is an issue with me, not the story.

In fact, looking back on my first post, it was unnecessarily hostile. I apologize for that. I still think the piano's destruction was perhaps (and I do mean perhaps) a touch insensitive, but reacting like that was uncalled for.

#21 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

That was wonderful.

#22 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2984302

Oh, it definitely came across as that!

It's just that the story makes it sound like the only kind of piano there is.

Maybe call it a "recumbent piano" to differentiate?

#23 · 64w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

When I started reading this story, I was expecting a wacky comedy ending with all of Twilight's things getting set on fire.  As it turned out, there were substantially more dramaz and feels than I expected.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

#24 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

Excellent story. And who doesn't love a bit of piano destruction? :twilightblush:

#25 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

I very much enjoyed that. Thank you for giving me such a great experience while reading it.

#26 · 64w, 5d ago · 2 · 2 ·

I was really enjoying this story. Then this happened:

Maybe I'll tie you up and hang you off something to put you on notice:  You Screwed Up:  Ponies Taking Pictures Between Ten And Noon.  

Ugh, not cool. I don't like that story. I'm never going to like that story. Referring to it in your other stories just means I won't like them either.

#27 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

That was quite a sucker punch to the feels.

Bravo you magnificent person.

#28 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2985789

Okay, I understand that and have to warn you:  some references are going to be interconnected as things move along and jump to different points on the timeline.  There are little nods here and there (hopefully) indicating that most of the stories are part of a larger set, so bad reminders could turn up again.  (Currently, there's a very small one in Triptych.)

On the other hand, how are you with blatant cruelty against pianos?  :twilightsheepish:

#29 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2985871

I'm fine with the piano's demise (sorry Killer Iguana).

And I was able to overlook the first reference too, since its phrased so generically:

she hasn't taken anything we've said as inspiration for turning the town upside-down for a few days...
.

But when you make a call back to the very event that annoyed me in your other story you lost me. After that I just couldn't enjoy the rest of this story.

#30 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

The title of this story honestly doesn't do justice to its even-handed  emotional depth, passing with delicacy over each major character in turn.  And as someone who has himself moved a very heavy piano (with dysfunctional wheels, I might add) into several assorted homes and storage units, I was quite overjoyed by your treatment of that instrument in this piece.

Well, off to read the rest of your output, now!

#31 · 64w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

I came here expecting moving comedy and possibly arson.

I found a moving, beautiful story with an exploding piano.

(Yes, I know the story says it just crashed into the ground, but what about that spell on it?  Go ahead and TRY to tell me the security spell didn't cause an explosion.  I dare you.)

Well done.  Very well done.

#32 · 64w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

Pinkie jumped inside the largest one, clenched the lid panel with her teeth, and pulled it down after her.

Silence reigned.  After a full minute, it headed for the castle to demand Celestia's throne.

Pinkie contributes to the effort in her own special way. :pinkiehappy:

#33 · 64w, 5d ago · 5 · ·

>>2986093

For the comedy part of this story Pinkie really delivers with the Pinkie in the box scenes with Rainbow Dash.

#34 · 64w, 5d ago · 5 · ·

...

Okay, I'm all for catharsis, but destroying an antique family heirloom, simply so as to avoid moving it?

I'll reiterate, a master crafted, centuries old, heavily enchanted grand piano. And she drops it off a tall tower.

I could try to pretend to walk the moral high road, and say that my heart weeps for the lost music.

However, in truth, my heart weeps for the lost capital. Such wasted potential wealth!

Oh, Twilight, I know you live at the expense of the national budget, but even a minor portfolio would be of use to you! If nothing else, you could use it to set up a charity - perhapos educating the less fortunate in Equestria. Wouldn't that be nice? Spreading knowledge to the masses?

But no. You choose the cheap thrill of destruction over the long term joy of creation. I am disappointed.

(Yes, I know I'm utterly missing the point here. I'm sure dealing with that would serve as a bonding experience, and character building too. Until my reaction to such displays of emotion stops being 'Quick, find someone who knows what to do!', I won't know. But the death of the piano did have a fairly big impact on me as well)

#35 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

:moustache: And so Twilight learns something about friendship and they all get a little bit closer to one another... And Pinkie Pie does her usual thing!

#36 · 64w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Ah, poor, aged instrument of beauty.  Your death was truly for a noble cause.

(:pinkiegasp: You read Spider Robinson?  Yay!  I wonder if Pinkie Pie has ever met Al Phee - or if there might be a certain bar on the outskirts of Manehattan...)

#37 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2986550 in my headcanon that's how she uses her stipend (she makes her bits for the household from the library and has savings from her obviously rather rich family, so it makes sense she uses the bits for something).

#38 · 64w, 5d ago · 4 · ·

This is a very crafted story. I liked the method for it from start to finish. There should be a Comedy tag, as even though I didn't like the premise to begin with I found myself laughing far more often than I expected to. I liked the clever character quirks and I liked the little nod to Spongebob. One thing I do not like in any of your stories is the treatment of Twilight. You seem to be hell bent on showing her to be incompetent compared with the rest of the mane cast. I felt it here but thought it was my imagination, but checked up a few of your other stories and noticed it was a common complaint. It really irks me that the rest of the characters acknowledge that she frequently screws up or fails them wholeheartedly, rather than fighting against such a self-defeating prognosis of Twilight. They also completely ignore the idea of showing her her positive qualities, in essence going "Yes, you do screw up, but we love you anyway." That's not the answer Twilight needs to hear. That said, once again I really like your characterization for six out of seven, so not bad at all. 8/10 and an upthumb from me. :twilightsmile:

#39 · 64w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

One reason the destruction of the piano seems a bit "off" is because it's described as being this priceless antique family heirloom that, by Twilight's own admission, has been in their family for "centuries."  It just seems out-of-character for Twilight to deliberately destroy something like that.

Not to mention that yes, Twilight's mother may have given it to her, and technically it's Twilight's to do with as she likes... but I can guarantee you, her mother will still be nineteen kinds of pissed off when she finds out it's been destroyed.  Antique family heirlooms like that are never truly "given" to a member of the family; the implicit assumption is that the recipient will care for it, continue to keep it in the family, then pass it on to their descendents at some point.  Even if they can successfully make her mother believe it was only an accident, she'll still be pretty upset about it and blame Twilight for not having the sense to hire a moving crew.  ("You were right here in Canterlot, Twilight, all you had to do was come ask me the name of the moving company I used to get it up there in the first place!")  And if she ever finds out they deliberately shoved it off the ramp, that's going to make for some extremely uncomfortable Sparkle family gatherings from here on out...

#40 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

Twilight did many things in her life.  But she never learned how to play the piano.

Her ivory destruction technique, however, only became more refined.  

She destroyed the piano?!

:raritydespair:

#41 · 64w, 5d ago · 4 · ·

"Half her clothing caught fire?"

"Yes."

"Which half?"

"The half which truly needed to."

:rainbowderp::raritywink:

Rarity... :D

This was great btw, thanks for the good read!

#42 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2987146

Lol if you'd read the line earlier, they pushed it over the railing and onto the ground from like five stories up, saying that it made the most 'musical sound they'd ever heard.'

#43 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2987146

Yes. Because pianos are the most evil of instruments, and being forced to learn how to play was once the CIA's preferred method of torture. Until they realized how cruel that was and switched to water boarding instead.

#44 · 64w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

I always love it when a fanfic manages to be a story about Twilight learning about friendship.

Bravo! Have a moustache!:moustache:

#45 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

Why doesn't this have a comedy tag? I found it pretty funny. I'm adding this to my mental list of 'Fanfics which would make great episodes'.

#46 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

That was ... Interesting. I don't really have a problem with the characterization, or the destruction of pianos, or the strange third person asides... but do I sense a severe case of Asian parents? It would sort of make sense for Twilight.

There was an interesting comment in this thread, pointing out that they were annoyed by Twilight being portrayed as "incompetent". I don't think I've read any of your other works, so I can't say anything about the alleged pattern, but I don't think incompetence is what's being shown in the story. Twilight is perfectly competent, she just lacks self confidence. This is actually a reasonable assumption for pre-lesson-zero Twilight. The thing is, I don't think I can recall anything that would support the notion that she believes she could actually just up and ruin all of her friendships. She was the one who wanted to stay in Ponyville in the first place, and shows incredible faith in her friends... On the other hand, she did dismiss her friends fairly quickly during The Return of Harmony. I suppose this story works in the context it presents itself in, that being before The Best Night Ever.

So, overall, this story works, but reading it felt rather uncanny, and I that comes down to some of the really bizarre third person narration. What's up with all the sentient silence in this place?

#47 · 64w, 5d ago · 4 · ·

...

I... Can't, just, can't be the only one who finds it to be a wee bit over-dramatic to destroy a priceless antique that has been handed down for generations, and will- sorry, would have been, handed down for more. I mean what if, when Twilight or Shining Armor has a kid, they really want to play the piano?

I know, symbolism and all that, but still. I'd think there would be more than a half-hour of thinking involved in this decision. It's like... Why? There was no reason to.

#48 · 64w, 5d ago · · ·

Amazing. Top fic. It's absolutely fantastic, one of the best reads I've had.

#49 · 64w, 4d ago · 3 · 2 ·

>>2987983

Twilight likely had a lot of pent-up resentment for that piano.  Ever had that issue where you go to visit your parents, and they mention that one thing to you that they seem to think you like, and refuse to accept any other reality even if you throw it right in their face?  And every single time, your hatred for that one thing escalates, and escalates, and escalates, until very little can stop you from taking a sledgehammer to it save for perhaps putting a lot of distance between it, yourself, and your parents?

That piano was that thing, for Twilight.  Now yes, perhaps trashing it instead of, say, leaving it there was a bit unnecessary.  In the end though, it did her a lot of good: she finally got to demolish that damnable thing!

>>2987970

Well, to be fair, there's not a single individual in the world that stays purely confident and positive about everything in their lives, not internally.  We all suffer from doubt, and insecurity on some level, and for Twilight it's not surprising that she'd be intensely insecure about friendship.  It's her main study, ordered by Princess Celestia herself, the one pony she looks up to the most.  She has been shown to have some serious self-confidence issues, I don't have a hard time believing that the ever-prepared and nervous Twilight Sparkle would actually retain a fall-back point in the event that she utterly ruins the friendships she's made thus far.

She's just being thorough, after all.  Can't have nowhere to go when you no longer feel welcome in the town you live at.

>>2987098

Oh, but it's not like they did it on purpose!  It just sort of....got away from them while they were moving it.

At least, that's the story they're sticking to when her Mother comes to Ponyville with all the rage of the Sparkle family in her eyes.

#50 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·

Perfection.

The piano... Oh yes, Twilight Velvet will inevitable chew her daughter out for this repeatedly. Head-canon version of the story - they request an audience to Princess Celestia, to arrange her personal help on the matter. If the Glory of the Royal Sun can't dispel or simply the protection spell, nothing would. Or she could send Luna on the job. This is exactly the kind of incredibly random thing Luna would gladly entertain herself with.

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