Woohoo! New story to nom on!

Also first!

I just had to do it. Refreshing the thread page every minute and a half has its advantages.

Why do I feel like this would be exactly the sort of thing Lyra would do?

I have a terrible feeling about this one. *Tracked*

Go, humans!

There's no heron in the moon! It's a shrew, a five-legged shrew, with a voice like whispering thunder!

........ CRAZY PILLS! SHE MUST BE TAKING CRAZY PILLS.

>I started a fire

Of all the days...

Dammit!  Stop writing better than I do.  It's very rude.

Ah, here it is! This is Variation 37, where everypony has an IQ over 200. Unfortunately, it also happens to be the starting point for extinction realities; every Variation beyond this is either in crisis or post-extinction.

Lyra and her madness! This is so awesome. Poor bonbon though xD

This is going to be a catastrophe. Anyone else want popcorn?

Your work never ceases to amaze me. I'm used to you bringing me tears, not laughter. Love this so far. It has some "Doctor Who" aura to it that's totally hilarious. Bon Bon gets all my pity and laughs though.

Btw in chapter one, think there's a missing '?' the couple times Bon Bon asks "What did you do?"

Can't wait to see where this goes.

It's the end of Equestria as we know it... And I feel fine.

"The accursed window-opener was springing closed and shut"

Should probably be opened.

Other than that, I see nothing wrong with this, it's awesome.

A masterpiece of cringeworthy hilarity!

First real Pony fic to make me laugh out loud multiple times throughout the chapter.  The house is on fire bit was awesome! Really excellent work and highly funny.  Hope the level of quality within the first chapter keeps up!

Ponyville was like: WTF did I just see?

And Twilight was like: I MUST RAGE!!!

And Bon-Bon was like: I'm too old for this shit.

Very nice.  Telescopes for stealing magic is clever.  It's a little implausible that the lewd photographs would still be there.  Knowing that it's possible to steal somepony's magic has implications that we probably shouldn't think about because they might break the poniverse.  "incredibly smart and unutterably lazy" is nice.  The meteor show conversation doesn't make much sense, because flying around in the air doesn't make a meteor shower any more dangerous than if you were standing still on the ground.  The line “Woo! Rainbow Dash!” would have been hilarious if spoken by a clueless comic-relief pony, but when said by Cloud Kicker, it's grim and dark and knocked me out of the story.

At some point it would be nice to see why Bon-Bon puts up with Lyra.

Well this story is just the best thing ever.

This was exquisite. Crazy, pyromantically incompetent Lyra is among the best Lyras. I'm definitely looking forward to more. And Rainbow Dash being forced to wear the Cone of Shame™.

This fic is utterly fantastic.  The humor is awesome, the writing is solid.  Simply superb all the way around.  Added to my favorites and email alert list and definitely checking out your author profile.

Mother of God, a new Thanqol story.

>>855804855804

At some point it would be nice to see why Bon-Bon puts up with Lyra.

Answer 2: Lyra is heir to the Harpsichord family fortune, and Bon-Bon is her undercover bodyguard.

Answer 3: Lyra has the negatives.

Take your pick!

This is awesome it's hilarious and it makes  a lot of sense i'm gonna add this to faves can't wait for the next chapter.

"I just forgot I left my house on fire."

Pure. Brilliance. The rest of the fic is pure brilliance as well, but this particular bit of pure brilliance caught my attention.

I love the tag picture!

Go on.

I just really hope you keep up the pretense of the humans being space-faring if you are actually plan on Lyra's version of history being true. Otherwise if the humans turn out to be the humans of today's level of technology it would be rather boring. Fantastic start to a story though!

I am not exaggerating in the slightest when I say that this story is one of the single most hilarious pieces of literature I have ever read, on this site or otherwise. (Douglas Adams included.)

All of my neighbors are now looking at me strangely because I have been laughing so loudly for so long.

And if you'll excuse me, I have to go change my clothes, and maybe my keyboard as well. It seems that I have gotten the lulz everywhere, and it is quite messy.

            ~Signed, InfiniteBrony

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

Love it! Must see more... But poor Twily!!!

I lost it at "All the colors are oppression." God damn.

This is funny shit man. But then I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, given that it comes from the writer of "You take the hundred miles on the left, I'll take the hundred miles on the right!".

the infamous tar pits of Reichenbach Falls

If I were you, after meticulously making sure to mention this landmark in every one of my stories... one day, I would write a Fetlock Holmes story.

And in it, nothing would happen there. At all. There would be no mention of tar, pits, or any falls, especially not the Reichenbach.

>>856284856284 I dunno, Two's Company, Three's A Crowd sorta rivals it! I mean, it does have the line "See? Not only was she born with a stick up her rump, sometimes, she takes it out and hits me with it!"

Twilight stared at the ruin in horror.

And then, almost as an afterthought, everything caught fire. All at once. Like somepony had thrown a switch and now her house was on fire.

OH GOD

THIS IS HOW I DIE

Too much lolz

Words cannot describe the hilarity and awsomeness of this!

>>856937856937

Have I got news for you! http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/04/story-study-in-rainbows.html

>>855913855913

One of these is eerily close to the truth, and it's not the one you think.

>>858685858685

Well damn, there goes my evening. But a) you fucked it up- I can see the falls right there in a chapter title! And b) why is this not on FiMFiction? Now I'm going to have to Google your ass or something, just to make sure I haven't missed anything else.

(I swear when I'm excited. Shit balls damn, this is a lot of new and interesting fic. Sorry. Kind of.)

>>858709858709

I'm sorry, past year me wasn't planning on having to win this argument!

I should really have FIM'd this by now. I'll get to the transferrin' today.

Huh. So Twilight Sparkle is... Mycroft? Interesting.

Or... perhaps... not?

... God damn. Now I'm going to have to design "I believe in Rarity the Unicorn" posters.

Excellent, just excellent. It's like you took the original MLP: FIM universe and turned the zaniness level up to 11. Everypony is insane in some way and there are even more random eldritch horrors and random comedy sequences. Keep up the good work.

>>858695858695

Aw man. On one hand, one of my wild guesses turned out to accidentally be correct! But on another, now I'm gonna stay up all night wondering which one.

yo dawg i heard you like rainbow dashes skeleton... i got nothing

>>860146860146 Based on a true story.

>>860150860150 meanwhile in new Vegas :3

I'd like this story, but I left all my green thumbs in my favorite house that's on fire.

Seriously, though, I like the smooth and fast paced humor .

Non-English nitpick: Assuming the meaning you're going for is "terrible/frightful power," you should say "potentia terribilis"; "terribalis" isn't a word.

>>858685858685

Who was the third pegasus in the cave?

This takes comical genius to an absolute high...

But I must wonder...

How is Lyra not in an asylum?

Oh well. ONWARDS WITH THE HALARITY!!

So short ;_;

>>875256875256 I'm doing my best to fix that D:

>>875270875270

I know! But I mean this chapter specifically, because I was like "yay update, who needs sleep anyway", and then it was nowhere near enough words

Well, there goes the neighborhood

Wow the conversation between Trustworthy McLegitimate, Lyra and Bonbon was the most hilarious thing I've read in a good while, it actually had me in tears.

o/~ Call upon the Tar Ponies when you're in distress!

I love this story, the chaos reminds me of my childhood. Normality was something that was never around at all, at any given point. Ah, good times.

I don't even, what is this!? It's just BAH never mind I don't want to know.

Trustworthy McLegitimate is best pony. It's 3:30 am, I'm so very tired, but I had to read this and I regret NOTHING! This has been the funniest chapter to date! I about lost it at the "shoo be doo" part! This story is one of the funniest I've read to date, I actually find myself laughing out loud several times while reading this. Keep up the great work!

lol pony stake anyone lolol

Dammit, it's >>838089838089! I hate that guy, he's always writing better than me!

Also, I think I've read enough to know that you got a lot of your sense of humor from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

For some reason, every time I read Trustworthy's lines, I hear Yes Man's voice.

This was the best chapter yet! I can't wait to see where all the plot twists go.

>>840934840934 Nein, she's not asking, she's flasking (Flat + Asking), which mrans that there is no '?' at the end.

The last panel of this comic page is a good show of what I mean. It's got a more angry under-tone, though, in Bon-bon's case.

>>860150860150 It woulda been funnier if Dash came up behind everypony wearing the Funnel of Shame, or whatever.

>>875674875674 I'm saving for that moment.

Oh, and I drew a quick outline of what I imagine Trustworthy McLegitimate to look like. It's not great, but maybe it'll help ya'll out.

If I was Piloting that ship I would be so ticked off at her for doing that.

>>875633875633

I kinda thought she was doing that the second time she asked, but not the first time. I have right to question my favorite author though. Thanqol is perfection personified (ponified?)

>>875907875907

Not quite sure what RFID means, but you should totally question Thanqol. Thanqol actually thrives off questions, needs 'em to survive quite honestly. You have to believe me on that, I'm part of the (land-based) McLegitimate line. Just try to think of as many questions as physically possible and then ask a few more.

>>876200876200

That was supposed to be 'right' (darn phone autocorrect). And I only say so because I am a lesser bring than this master lol

>>875270875270 ... I think I just got horny. Dunno why. *Goes to scratch head, is suddenly a unicorn*

... Well, I guess that explains it. *Shrugs and looks for something else to read while his cousin pinches himself in the background*

Oh wow I should have known better than to think Lyra might actually be right. Trustworthy McLegitimate is way better than some human. God, I don't think I've ever hurt this much from laughing before. From the moment I read "Don't worry. I have plenty of houses!" I knew you had a masterful understanding of humor and it has just not stopped.

So, random comments on this chapter: Trustworthy is too adorable for an eldritch alien horror; The treatment of Rainbow's death was hilarious; yes Horse Power is best name; Sweet Blueblood is here this can only help, I can't wait to see what level he's taken to.

Ooh, I can't wait to see how this new hilarious catastrophe plays out. In the meantime, please, accept this cookie.

THAT'S ABOUT RIGHT!

McLegitimates description reminded oddly of the alien from what little I've read of War of the Worlds.  Did you mean to do that.

>>880106880106 I had War of the Worlds open in front of me as I wrote his description!

did you just write tikisnakes into a fanfic?

I'll admit, everyone in fanfic (or at least this chapter) is OOC in some way, but it's hilarious OOC. (That goes double for Shining Armor here)

So this is... different.

Interesting thought: The Royal Guard is the only organization we've seen in the show that might be either an army or a police force, aside from the hospital security ponies who were pretty obviously a private organization.

Martial law means that the army takes on law enforcement duties.

So does that term even mean anything in Equestria?

>>880285880285 Sweet!  Now that I think of it, a lot of this story reminds me of War of the Worlds: the expert and the skeptic. Also, you made that crash scene quite similar with the tar and fire.  

Great new image by the way.

I have no idea what's going on. Half of Ponyville got the Idiot Ball, random sea– erm, tar ponies out of nowhere, my favorite villain duo got a creepy ally, and we got a new Rainbow Dash. Pardon: Rainbow Miriam Dash.

Proceed.

I freely admit I completely lost it at "Trustworthy McLegitimate". Laughed for at least three minutes straight.

Well, that explains... at least one thing. I think.

Mostly it just raises further questions, though. Which is cool too.

I type this on my iPhone, because I couldnt sleep before reading this. Each chapter gets better and better. For some reason I see those hats "Applejack" is giving out like the brain slugs from Futurama. Keep up the great work!

Every time this updates it makes less and less sense! I love it! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Glad I'm not the only one thinking brain slugs!

Also, Cone of Shame is best pony.

Wait, what, huh? I'm so confused right now, yet I'm happier then when i arrived. It's true, I guess ignorance is bliss.

>>887321887321 Hermes would walk in, but he is too busy dealing with Bender.

I have no idea what's going on!

>>887575887575

Cone of shame?

Image: http://www.drunktiki.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/death-star-cone-of-shame-373x500.jpg

Cone of Awesome.

Wow, this is just getting crazier by the nanosecond.

"A swarm of hats. A plague of hats."

My very first thought upon reading the above:

"So a Team Fortress 2 match has started?"

Think I liked this a bit better before the insanity spread throughout Ponyville.  Seemed more funny when everything was just a theory for Lyra.  Still a funny story though but I enjoyed the initial chapters a bit more.

i read all chapters but only now im getting why that alien description is so familiar...

Walks away from PC and starts singing

*brains, brains, I won't lie! I eat their brains til they're Zombified....*

Gah I can't tell if Trustworthy McLegitimate is a bad guy...stallion...tar monster, or not So much lols though it's awesome

The plot thickens... and thickens... and thickens some more. I think it's about the consistency of molasses now. And still funny. An oven is where Blueblood belongs, if you ask me.

That twist!