• Member Since 23rd Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Apr 12th, 2018

Broneyofnoel


T

Fluttershy and Twilight are killed by Celestia in order to retrieve the souls of ponies, that Fluttershy has killed, this is book two!

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 52 )

This somehow seems somewhat based off of Sucker Punch. Is it?

Interesting story idea, though.

46207 Nope, not really, but have you read book one? :trollestia:

"She finally took them all out... But for what worth?" - Sgt. Allan K. Johnson..

Yeah.. what is the worth of killing her friends though... I wonder...:ajsleepy:

What is this I don't even. I think I just accidentally all over the computer. :facehoof:

omg..omg..omg and i thought the first book would be all action, and this would be adventure, but no......
I DEMAND MOAR

WHOO fluttershy has still got her badassery! Awesome!
:twilightoops: Fluttershy you killed him!

:yay: Silly twilight you cant kill whats already dead.. ^_^

Rule #2 of fiction writing:
SHOW, DON'T TELL the story!

What's rule #1...not sure really, probably has to do with Mary Sue/Gary Stu fics...you used canon characters so that probably doesn't apply here...

If you want to improve, add more descriptions. Don't tell the reader what happens, show them! Describe it!

LOLZ

"Well im awake. Lets go Kill some dead things and bring back the dead people I killed." LOLZ love that XD

epic, now continue....CONTINUE!!!

Cool story bra.

COOL!
Can't wait to read it!:pinkiehappy:

First to comment,Yay!:raritywink:

48595 Actually, you were comment 11, but I like the optimism

...
wow that was amazing.....
THROW THE EXPLOSIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
keep it up, i want to know what happens on their next journey, if there are going to be any accidental mishaps, or tragedies, and whatnot

Love how twilight pays the people and Fluttershy just kills them XD ROFL. keep up the awesome story works

48595 Oh Well, I'm about to read the story.I loved the first book!Great job on it!:pinkiehappy:

I actually commented on a chapter and it said 0 comments so thats why I thought I was first.:fluttercry:

48738 You were still first on the chapter!!! :pinkiehappy:

Oooooooooh Romance:twilightblush:

Are any romance stories on this site straight anymore? Were they ever to start with?

I don't mind them being gay, but that sems to be about 99% of the romance novels, lesbian ponies.

Again, I don't mean to sound hateful, but that's my opinion.


That aside, I love the story. The above comment wasn't necessarily directed at you, but for the enitre site as a whole. :rainbowkiss:

This story and the ones before it are in my top ten favorite pony fanfics. :rainbowkiss:

49624 Yeah, tell me about it, I wasn't going to do it, but Romance fics are popular. and it is not like it's going to be a clopfic

ooooooooooooooooh romance, and the next chapter in a day or two? AMAZING

49654

Glad you understand and not hate my guts. :rainbowkiss:

And thank you, a clopfic absolutely does not belong here.

We seem to think alike in some aspects. :pinkiecrazy:

:D oooh that was quick......
very nice, a writer dedicated to his story and posts like chapters once a day or somethin, you sir, are a genious in making this story up, i say, whats going to happen next?

50193 You'll see tomorrow

oooh wow, that was intense, with the bank robbing and all, cant wait for the next one

51072 Fluttershy is a badflank, what would you expect? :pinkiehappy:

Evil flutershy is evil ^^. :yay: Love seeing villains for a cause XD. Lets see I think she has done all the major super villain things.. OH OH! shes gotta try to take over the world! that's th last... oh wait.. she DID do that when she helped overthrow nightmare moon..

Oh dam.. whats left? Is there no super villain task left?
1. she robbed a bank
2. she killed the heroes
3. She helped take over the world (or atleast part of it anyway)

51116
OH she also
4. Killed a small child
5. Attempted to kill a powerful CEO.

EDIT: 2 is typo she TRIED to kill the heroes.

51116 Well, she's changed through this story, she's saving the souls, there will be surprises

A Nine Millimeter? :rainbowlaugh:

The only thing that will make explode is sensetive explosives, for a living being, it will just make a cute hole.:rainbowkiss:

51238 that fires a point 500 that will atleast blow a hole that i could stick my hand throuh if nothing else

51579 I changed the gun since his somment

51618

You do not know how happy you made me by not exchanging that 9mm for a Desert Eagle.

BTW, a taste of what the Smith and Wesson .500 cartrige will do:

Watermelon? What Watermelon?

51852 I just searched most powerful handgun on Google

the smith and wesson 500 for when you absolutely positively have to buck up every ponies day accept no substitute

will you write another story? this is really good and id hate to see it end even though it feels a bit rushed and is short its still an amazing read.

53069 This is the second story in the series, have you read the first?

ooooooooooooooh cant wait for book 3 :D

As much as the plot is interesting, I think it needs more... heart. Every good story has a heart, meaning it stirs up emotions in the reader. This story seems to lack it and feels rushed.
My advice is to work on the heart of the story and add details to slow down the pace.
Don't worry though, I still like the story!:pinkiesmile:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

54364 You liked Damion didn't you

well i must say, dont be sorry for making it short, be happy, you give us entertainment, and most of all, a story we can really connect to and think of for a really long time...

I was dead on like evil fluttershy in the war killing and all of that but I couldent get them back :ajsleepy::ajsleepy::pinkiesad2::pinkiesad2::pinkiesad2::pinkiesad2::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry:

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
story 3? OMG
i cant wiat to see what the DEMON has in store :D :D :D :D :D

messege me a link when you get it up



>> for the night mistress

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