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She never expected to see a golden chariot flying over Ponyville. She never expected just how much her life would change. She never expected Twilight Sparkle … and Twilight Sparkle most certainly never expected Pinkie Pie.
Oh, Donny's Boy, it's here, it's here! Your multichapter TwiPie is here! 
And I love how this works, with different pieces of the puzzle throughout the show's run. How we see things we've seen before from different eyes — Pinkie's perspective on "Winter Wrap-Up", Lyra and Bon-Bon's perspective on "Feeling Pinkie Keen" — and how we see new things, like what Pinkie was doing moments before being the first Ponyville pony Twilight meets. The collective perspective of Ponyville itself was an interesting touch, unusual but effective.
I look forward to seeing what other episodes this touches on; there are some obvious suspects, but I'm certain you will surprise me with others. I also can't wait to see what other perspectives we get a chance to view Twilight and Pinkie's relationship with.
"Caring so deeply about figuring out what makes Pinkie Pie tick that she’d play anthropologist."
Given the origin and meaning of that word, I have some trouble with it showing up in Equestria at all, but I used to fast-forward through The Wonder Years looking for anachronisms, so I'm not surprised that this jumped out at me.
Still, if that's the only complaint I can make about a story - and so far it is - I'm in for a good time, so up goes the thumb. And that bit about how Ponyville knows its own, even before the new arrivals do - that's just flat wonderful.
Eh. Not quite.
The device of singing is so overly used, but what makes it worth it is a reference to a real song, or even an original one. This one, perchance, just takes from WWU. It ruins some of the specialness.
And assuming that this is indeed after Winter Wrap Up, how could Pinkie miss Twilight singing? Hmm? If her voice was really that good, couldn't she have singled it out? And when Twi' climbed the cliff, wasn't Pinkie on the cliff below it?
And assuming this is after the gala, same issue. Pinkie was around with her near the end as well.
It's a good, cute story, but a few logic failures. Just like My Little Dashie. Nice try, but no.
...um, the part with the Winter Wrap-Up song is when Twilight sings the Winter Wrap-Up song. During the episode "Winter Wrap-Up." This story is jumping to different points in time, exploring Twilight and Pinkie's relationship from different points of view.
Well, perhaps Bon Bon picked up the word from Lyra.
As for whether it gets featured, honestly I stopped caring about making the feature box once getting there became as much a matter of following whatever fad was popular that week as it was quality writing.
It's a decent story with an interesting opening; curious to see where it goes from there.
I wonder if the references to Rainbow Dash is to set up a triangle later or just to show that she wanted to be friends and Rainbow is special for that to be best friends (hence the later episode dealing with it). Kind of depends on what kind of story this is going to be.
Nopony expects the Pieish Pinquisition! 
TwiPie is not one of my prime ships, but I really like what you're doing with the story. There's a similar... fragility... to both Pinkie and Twilight, a loneliness and difficulty to fit in that they share. I'm curious to see how this story will progress from here on!
You know the few paragraphs that had the explanation of how ponyville residents know their own and how they knew Twilight must be one of their own? That had me steadily laughing louder with each word until I was literally roaring with laughter, beating on the table, while reading it out loud. That was pure genius, thank you for coming up with that gem.
I was a little disappointed that it's just been following the cannon story so far, but it's the first chapter so I figure it's just setting the stage as it were. It also lost me when talking about Twilight not "understanding" at the party while staring at Pinky. What wasn't she understanding exactly? It goes to the whole Pinky sense thing after that, but I'm not sure if that's necessarily what it was referring to since chronological order got a little skewed in some places.
Sorry, but when I read the beginning I had this tune in my head.
As Pinkie left the Cakes house, she made her way to the edge of town. She was lost in thought.
There are few who'd deny, at what I do I am the best
For my talents are renowned far and wide
When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night
I excel without ever even trying
With the slightest little effort of my Pinkie charms
I have seen grown mares give out a squee
With the wave of my hoof, and a well-placed cry
I have swept the very bravest off their feet
Yet day after day, it's the same old crowd
And I've grown so weary of their mindless screaming
And I, Pie! The Party Queen
Have grown so tired of the same old thing
Oh somewhere deep, inside of these bones
An emptiness began to grow
There's someone out there far from my home
A longing that, I've never known
I'm the master of punch, and an angel of fetti
And I'll scare you right out of your pants
To a guy in Pontucky, I'm the life of the party
And I'm known throughout England and Prance
And since I am pink, I can blend in to the party
To recite Hephner Quotations
No animal or pony, can dance like I can
In the fury of my recitations
But who here would ever understand
That the party queen with her seductive grin
Would tire of her crown, if they only understood
She'd give it all up if she only could
Oh there's an empty place in my bones
That calls out for something unknown
The fame and praise come year after year
Does nothing for these empty tears
Pinkie walked back into town, not knowing of the surprise that awaited her the next day, on the day of the Summer Sun Celebration.
>>838387 You're trying to apply logic to a crowd song. It doesn't matter where Pinkie is physically, when the song is going on everypony knows how it is being sung and what part of the song they are in. It's a magic all its own. Suspend your disbelief a little, you do it for the show don't you?
Heeeeeeello and welcome, everyone. This is my first crack at writing a multi-chaptered TwiPie story, so I guess we'll see how it goes!
Thanks so much for the comments and kind words. It's always nerve-wracking posting a new story, and I'm very pleased that many of you seem to like what I've got so far.
HA. A thermonuclear disaster of AWESOMENESS, you mean. 
Shipping is magic, Obs! Do not fight it! (Hee.)
Heh, thanks for the vote of confidence ... but, it's funny, every single time someone has said that about one of my stories, that story has never been featured. It's almost like a jinx.
Thanks, Krizak! Especially good to hear your thoughts on the puzzle pieces aspect of the story and the shifting perspectives--it's kinda something new I'm playing around with.
I didn't mean to ruin the specialness of "Winter Wrap-Up" but had been hoping to add some extra perspective to it. I'm sorry if the main effect, though, was to ruin that very lovely musical number from the show. (And as a few others have mentioned, this scene in the story is actually set during that musical number--which is, as best I can determine, the first time Twilight sings in the show.)
And yes, I doubt it will get featured, as well. But that's okay.
Oh, I'm so glad you liked that part! I almost took it out, and now I'm happy I left it in. And there will be much of the story that deviates from the canon episodes in later chapters, I promise.
I like that you're following the series to show the development of their relationship. I also really liked that you're using different perspectives, too. I am curious though, to see how closely you stick to canon and whether or not your gonna wander away from it as the story goes on.
Overall, enjoyable read.
It's decent. A little disjointed and not always easy to place what's happening if you haven't seen the episodes in question recently (okay, most of them gave me no real trouble but I had to actually google dialogue to place "griffon a brush off" so I could figure out what Twilight was wrong about) but your characterization and dialogue are pretty good.
New Donny's Boy multi-chapter story?! Be still, my heart!
Also, Bon-Bon is totally a metaphor for this fandom, isn't she? Haha. Not looking at anyone in particular... 
Seriously, I am looking forward to this one. I am a big fan of your longer stories. Always have been. And this one is looking promising so far. Keep up the great work, and I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter!
I think the first thing that hit me about this one was that Pinkie Pie knows, with no self delusion, that most of the ponies at her party don't like her - or at least, they don't really want anything to do with her. The fact she knows that and still keeps trying says a lot, to me; she's throwing parties, and she wants people to like her, but she doesn't throw parties because she wants people to like her. That's probably obvious, but I still love it: She wants them to be happy no matter what, but she really, really wants them to be happy with her. It made me think about the start of A Friend In Deed, where she knows all there is to know about everybody - all I can picture now is her learning all these things, memorising them, caring about these people - and everyone just shunning her. Except Rarity. Rarity is awesome. And that's both horrible and amazing. Well done, sir.
The second thing I notice is you teasing me with RainbowPie that won't happen. Why do you insist on hurting me with your wonderful, wonderful stories, Donny's Boy? Is it because you hate me? Me, specifically? It is, isn't it?
Seriously though, the RainbowPie hints were excellent. And they made me very sad. 
I also like Pinkie's reaction to Twilight and Spike. 'Yep. Feels important - friend time!' It's very Pinkie, and it's also kind of adorable and sad. Well done. I think my favourite part of this chapter might be the musing about Twi being destined for Ponyville, because it's so clearly true - Ponyville is a town of mad, mad, mad ponies. Awesome ponies. But mad ponies. And I can totally see them being able to peg the ones who'll stay. Heck, I bet Pinkie does it for them - she didn't rush to go greet Trixie, or the Flim Flam brothers, or any of the other one off ponies. Clearly, the welcome wagon is to be used only on permanent residents.
The whole Twilight reflecting scene is great, not just because it gives us some insight into Twilight but because - to my mind, at least - it draws a lot of parallels between them. It shows us that deep down, her biggest fear - even beyond not being seen as smart all the time, which made me giggle - is disappointing and hurting the ponies she loves. And those are, I think, the same things Pinkie Pie fears more than any other. Pinkie Pie is afraid of it because she's never really had friends, and she's scared the ones she has will leave her. Twilight...is scared of pretty much the same thing. Do correct me if I'm wrong, though - just how I read it. I like it. A lot.
"Pith helmets are totally romantic." had me laughing for about five minutes. I don't even know why. It was just hysterical - the whole scene was funny, but that's what made it for me. Love it.
And that last section? ...
....
....
It was perfect and amazing and I'm not sorry for a second that this isn't RainbowPie.
But don't tell anyone.
The last section was amazing though - I have to admit, I never really considered how much our dear Pink Pony would empathize with the song, and the meaning behind it. You pulled it off perfectly, and my hat is off to you good sir.
I look forward to more.
Well now, things are moving into uncharted territory and it's looking awesome. I like how you made the inner group dynamics a little turbulent between some characters. It really made them feel alive and like you can identify with them as people more. Also, that whole train ride back from Canterlot where Twilight cries? That was some seriously powerful stuff right there. Especially with how you described it's significance from Spikes point of view. An inspired approach to that scene. 
Only criticism I can think of is that the Bachelor party scene didn't feel as fleshed out as the rest of it. As in, why were they having it in Ponyville? Aside from the start you only talked about the gals, so I'm left wondering if Shining Armor was even there? I figured it was a mechanic to get the group out drinking but it still left me confused after that delivery.
Drunk Twi is.......rather funny to try and picture in my mind's eye as well as try to give the dialog her voice as she talks in fluent Drunkenese as one would put it.
Also the chapter was quite good even if I have to keep remembering that the things do jump from situation to situation at times, perfectly fine mind you just need to change gears in my head from my normal thought processes when I read this. Fun though since hey change is good ^w^, keep up the good work.
Oh and I praaaayyyyy that Twi doesn't completely forget what happened and a bunch of drama comes of this due to her trying to rationalize what she did away as her only being drunk.......I don't know if I could handle seeing Pinkie get sad like that T^T. Well that and I'm pretty sure Dash would try to give Twi's face the most painful make over ever if it happened.....emphasis on try though cause not sure if she would go through with it or be able to do so.
Wholly unexpected, but entirely appropriate: Dash reading Twilight the Equestrian equivalent of the Riot Act.
I remember, many years ago, having somehow persuaded those around me that I was some sort of capital-B Brain. And yet somehow I earned at least my share, maybe more, of "Are you really that … that stupid?" Because, you know, there were times when I was.
Switching POV's this time? I like it! Also looks like you're deviating from the usual ship fic construction a little here, which I am also enjoying. Something fresh with a good group dynamic. Very nice.
Keep up the good work, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
You're one of the few authors that can pull off drunk without being annoying- I dunno what it is. Could be because she sounds so real, and not so forced drunk. Her way of thinking and stuff were still there, and it made it cute and funny. I can't explain it.
Good job! I'm- curious to see what will happen now.
That was a lot better than the first chapter. And I'm not just saying that because of all the extra relationship stuff. The timeskips felt better handled and the scenes weren't so short, which allowed for more to happen in each one, leaving less choppiness. It just felt like there was a lot more character development here, probably because it's several times the first chapter's length, but I think also due to better writing.
EDIT: Actually word count says it's only a little longer, though less of that is used in reproducing song from the show, so it really must be the writing.
Howdy, and thanks for the comments, everyone! I'm really glad to hear that, overall, folks think that the story seems to be going well.
I'm glad the train scene came across well! The party was, in fact, set in Ponyville and didn't have Shining Armor there--I had the idea that it was just a regular party, as Spike seemed to have no idea whatsoever what a bachelor party actually was. Sorry that wasn't clear!
Actually, I meant it the way I wrote it--Twilight was then talking about the wedding and how it hurt her. I'm sorry I didn't make that part clearer, that she wasn't talking about Pinkie and the parasprites anymore. Whoops. 
I know that feel. Oh, do I know that feel ... I may have been identifying with Twilight rather a bit in the final scene of this chapter. Ahem.
Oh, good to hear it wasn't annoying! I was a touch worried I was overdoing it.
Yeah, the chapter's longer, but it's not tons longer. It's good to know that the time skips and various scenes worked better here than in the first chapter.
Why?
Why did you improve so much? is what i mean
the first chapter was ok, the second one was pretty good, but this? I cann't even say how much i liked this chapter. Bravo
the only thing i didn't like is the Rarijack and the Rainbowshy
Why?
Why do authors always try to ship each of the mane 6 with each other? is what i wonder
> Why do authors always try to ship each of the mane 6 with each other? is what i wonder
Readers already care about the mane six, at least a very large percent of them care a lot more about the mane six than any other characters, especially OCs.
If you want to ship an already well loved character with a character considerably less well loved, you need to make your audience love them just as much. Otherwise why do I care about the story? If it's just a random introduction into romance, it's not too interesting. Make me love the pony first!
That's my guess at least 
As someone with a certain habit for being kicked in the head, I gotta admit, Rainbow sure must reaaaaly like Shy, haha.
Nice chapter! I found the path it looks like you were taking Twi's parents down interesting. It's a role I'm not sure I've ever seen them play!
Okay.
There are a lot of things to love about the TwiPie here. A lot of things. But you know what? The TwiPie can wait a minute, because that FlutterDash needs to be mentioned and there's less of it to talk about. Why does it need to be mentioned? Because it is glorious. I absolutely love the idea that Pinkie and Dash would go through this incredibly elaborate plan that involves Dashie being deliberately kicked in the head by the strongest pony around just to get Dash and Shy some alone time. And maybe so that Dash can be gushed over a bit - I can't help thinking that was also part of Dash's plan. Though that, of course, was the part she didn't tell Pinkie.
It fits perfectly, I think, and even though it breaks my heart forever I love that Pinkie helped Dash with her ridiculously circuitous plan - even though she loved Dashie once and still does because I have to believe that, she's perfectly happy to help her win someone else, without a hint of regret. A lot of that is because she has Twi now, I bet - but I also suspect she'd have done it anyway because their happiness is more important to her than her own.
And yet it was Applejack who stole the scene for me. Her "Yep. Mighty low down and dirty of me." had me in hysterics.
I love this. I love the overarching theme, the characterisation of everypony who appears, and the relationship building between Twi and Pinkie - it feels very real and natural, and I'm enjoying every minute of it. But most of all, today? I love your Applejack.
Awesome work as always DB.
like >>891115 said
i accept each shipping if it's well executed, but many times the authors write a good story about a shipping and then just include other ones. And mostly that happens with the mane 6 and this is where it is the worst. Why(no i won't do it again)? if you causally mention that bonbon and Lyra are together, or Octavia and Vinyl then it is no big deal. There is no cannon and they are mostly build by fannon and fannon says they are together, but the mane 6? they are developed in cannon so everytime something happens what is not cannon we wonder 'wait how did that happen?'
Okay it was implied that RD has a crush on Fluttershy because of the BYF-competition , but what about Applejack and Rarity(who if i may add had a crush on a Blueblood in cannon).
At last here it is much better as some other works (where it suddenly goes 'Oh by the way dear readers Rarity and Applejack are together'
), but still this is a beautiful story which gives us a lot of emotions, and the Rarijack and the Rainbowshy take something away from that(at last in my opinion).
If I'm understanding your... interesting take on asking questions and using language, you want to know why mention them all in the same story? Sometimes efficiency. Sometimes preference. In my own case it was because I was very interested in utilizing a love-polyhedron as they do in anime and manga (because at the time I was trying to evoke something akin to all the yuri manga and anime I had been viewing. Mostly Kashimashi, Strawberry Panic! and The Last Uniform.) So rather than a true focal character (Like Nagisa in SP! or Beniko in TLU) I showed cross-purpose affection. Twilight loves Pinkie but Pinkie seems ambivalent while actually loving her as well, but Rarity loves Twilight, and Spike loves Rarity but Fluttershy loves Rarity and Rainbow Dash is sort of uninvolved with anyone though Applejack loves her, but Gilda is still insanely jealous, and Twilight ultimately thinks Rainbow Dash is trying to steal Pinkie from her. So, the ship of the six was necessary so that the web would actually be complete. Plus there were background ships, still are. And I developed or resolved them. I wrote of Braeburn marry Little Strongheart, which was mentioned. I did an extended tale about Colgate and Berry Punch.
It's not a very good answer but it's the one I have.
In a Love Triangle(or other forms) it is more okay because it is a Element for Drama, but truth to be told that doesn't sound like a Story I would read, to complex and, because of that, to easy to screw up.
now to your answers:
Efficiency is nice and all, but it takes away Quality.
Preference:
a Twinkie ship? i like. A Rarijack? i like. A Rainbowshy? i like. All three together? I don't really like
The Rainbowshy isn't even bad, actually it is relatively good. But it still takes away something from the Emotions from the Twinkie(the Rarijack isn't big enough to do that yet). Make it different stories(even if they are in the same Universe) and i would probably read all of them (and probably would like the references to each other), because then they don't take away from each other.
Yay! Chapter update! Another great chapter my friend! Not my favorite pairing but still a great story so far! Just one question, im trying to get my facts straight. Applejack owed pinkie for breaking the pinkiepromise right? And then Pinkie made even with Dash for the whole drunken Twilight scenario, meaning Dash faked it, correct? Thats all i cant get straight
Small quibble: Stories are generally, by nature, complicated in some sense if done right. If that's a problem then I don't know what to say.
Also, I reject the bald assertion that including a second ship, necessarily, reduces the emotions available for the other ships. And even if they are not developed, they can work as background ships. Or can be explored in side-tales. Mt favorite example of this is the story "Green" which is at heart a Flarity, but also takes the time to show and develop Appledash and Twinkie. And does it well.
Hello, all you fine, lovely people! As always, thank you very much for reading and for the feedback!
I can't speak for any other authors but myself, but I don't think authors "always" do this. It's fairly common, but it's not universal. And it's actually only something I've done once, in a short piece for a story anthology--in that case, I paired up all of the Mane Six (into AppleShy, RariPie, and TwiDash) so that I could compare and contrast the various couples and their couple dynamics with one another.
I do have lots of secondary ships lurking around in all of my multi-chapter shippy stories, usually including at least one that involves a Mane Six pony or two. Why do I do that? Mostly, it's for no other reason than it entertains me to do so. In this story, it's also because Pinkie helping Dash win 'Shy echoes previous events in the story. A full circle kinda thing.
I also don't feel that it takes anything away from the TwiPie story but, rather, enhances it--but obviously that's just my opinion. I'm sorry it doesn't work for you.
Thanks! I like narrative experimentation, and it's always interesting to see if I've been able to make it work or not. Heh.
Oh, thank you! I'm really happy to hear that you like it.
Glad you seemed to like the bit with Twi's folks! I think it probably will be a somewhat different depiction of them, but hopefully not a bad one.
Considering how much you're not keen on Applejack, that's a very high compliment indeed. I'm glad you liked my AJ. 
Thanks! I think you've got it ... just to clarify, when you're asking if Dash "faked it," do you mean Dash's scene with Twilight or Dash's scene with AJ?
You wanna know a secret? C'mere. Closer. Closer ... Okay, that's close enough! Here is the secret: At least a good fifty to seventy-five percent of this story is taken from the TMP writing prompts. I've been writing submissions for those prompts with an eye towards writing one long, cohesive TwiPie story for some time now, and at the very end of the story I'll include an author's note that lists which chapters include which prompts.
TwiPie is a good ship, yarrr! And thanks for the compliment on my writing--I'm glad that the pranking scene came across as funny as I hoped it would.
Aww, thanks!
You write Rarity so well.
Perhaps you're just a natural at it, or perhaps Seeking Beauty gave you excellent training, but Rarity completely steals the show the chapter. You never need to resort to anything but the very edges of telling us what she feels, but we know in intimate detail almost every thought that crosses her mind, why she does everything she does.
And her last line is perfect.
I can't say I LIKE the direction the story had headed, but who likes watching character they care about go through hell?
We put characters through hell so they can show us what they are made of. 
Show us something.
Okay. Serious question. Was it Twilight's parents that set the engagement? And if so, why has Celestia not smote them to ashes?
Cause they could very well be accused of endangering Equestria by stripping the Element of Magic of her magic, even by accident.Seriously though. Good chapter. I hated it, cause I hate seeing crappy situations like that, but still, good chapter.
Sure, saving the world twice, uncovering a third plot so it could be stopped, defeating a ursa minnor, and helpping get a dragon to leave is not noteworthy to any noble. No it has to be eather a well know position in Canterlot or marry into royalty to be worthy in Canterlot. This is why I hate the nobility.
(forgive the bad spelling...
)
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Arranged marriages suck don't they? Great chapter 
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