After a fateful incident involving her wings, Rainbow Dash must accept her loss of flight and possibly, her own life. Now more than ever, she needs the support of her friends. Meanwhile, Scootaloo is desperately searching for a way to extend her friend's life. The clock is ticking away rapidly. Will she succeed?
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Okay everypony, this is my first fanfic here, so it wont be as good as all the other fictions here. All the entire story just came outta me. So plz enjoy... or dont. Entirely up to you! :D
..::MinervaHoot::..
Chapters (2)
Alright... I'm not gonna pick it apart. Much.
There were several spelling mistakes and a few grammar mistakes that I caught (such as using to instead of too occasionally), so just keep that in mind. Another thing I would recommend is to use a variety of sentence structures. It kinda felt like reading a children's book.
I'm not gonna critique you any more than that because I am not an expert writer either and would feel like a hypocrite if I did critique you more.
So now on to words of encouragement.
You're doing pretty well for your first fic. Whatever people say, don't stop writing. That's how you get better. I'll definitely watch this fic to see how it plays out.
i- i have that cover as my desktop background! xD lol anyways interesting concept
1125287 Agreed.
MinervaHoot, I appreciate the fanfic you have written, but the grammer really takes you out. I mean, I have been writing for about a year, so I can consider some good tips. Most fanfics dont include parentheses in their stories telling the reader information.
I.E. "Scoots" (her nickname)". I'm sure most eople would know who Scootaloo is, or else they wouldnt be here
Also, space those paragraphs man! Spaces after commas! Enter after a qoute, etc.!
Anywho, it's a good story, but if I watch it, I probably won't get around to see it.
Still, keep writing, pay attention in english class (like myself), and don't give up!
Umm...It feels rushed a bit. Like there's not enough detail. Grammar is another thing you need to work on. For a first fic, pretty good but it would definitely benefit from an editor going through it with a fine toothed comb to make it the best it can be.
Now for some good points:
The concept is good and I may be following this but I'm already reading so many others, I may not get around to it.
dayum this is good
Thanks for the feedback everypony!
I'll edit the spelling, grammar, and the rest. At first I didn't expect it to get comments or anything, so i'm rather happy right now. I better get the English straight before I begin my other project.
I have One word for this story: dark
1126709 WHY, why did you put a smiling emoticon on such a sad story!