Every Rainbow has an End

by MinervaHoot

Into the Forest

"It's a good thing you ran into Fluttershy," Twilight told Scootaloo while stroking the orange filly's mane, "Any later and who knows what could've happened."
Scootaloo nodded sadly. Her round purple eyes were flooded with tears.
"I feel really miserable," sobbed Scootaloo, "I feel like it's all my fault."
"Oh, but it isn't, right Twilight?" assured Fluttershy.
"Indeed it is not. Do not trouble your mind with such thoughts," Zecora said, trying her best to comfort Scoots.
The zebra sorcerer had been called for by Fluttershy's animal friends. Zecora hurried as fast as she could to Twilight's library home. The zebra had bandaged Rainbow Dash and was feeding the injured pegasus a brew she had cooked up.
Rainbow Dash was barely conscious and could barely speak. The stump that was once her wing was tightly bandaged. The cloth that was bandaged around the stump was soaked in red. Her other wing was obviously useless, as it was now twisted in 180 degrees. The cyan mare had also fractured some bones.
After discussing a bit, Twilight and Zecora came to an agreement.
"Well, Scootaloo, Rainbow may have a chance to live," Twilight said calmly to the filly, " but Zecora has forgotten a special plant needed to make Rainbow heal. If you can retrieve it, Dash will be up in no time!"
"But take heed young one," Zecora added ominiously, " if not brought in an hour, the deed may not be done."
Scootaloo inquired what this plant was and where to find it.
"It's called the Everfree Rose and can be found in the heart of Everfree forest," added Twilight, "very few have it. They say it looks like a regular rose, but instead of red and pink, it is colored in dark blue with small white dots."
"I'll get it!" Scootaloo shrieked excitedly, " Sweetie Belle and Applebloom can come too, right?"
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"The heart of Everfree?" squeaked Sweetie, " You must be insane."
Only Sweetie Belle was allowed to go. Applebloom was in a family reunion somewhere in Appleloosa.
The two brave fillies cantered through the town. It had stopped raining and was now only a slight drizzle. Pretty soon, they were face-to-face with the forest.
"Um, fillies first?" squeaked Scoots.
"Come on Scootaloo," shrieked Sweetie,"You asked me to join you, so join you I did. We might even get our cutie marks!"
"Cutie Mark Crusaders Explorers. Yeah, it does have a ring to it!"

Comments

[Öthnæar]

Alright... I'm not gonna pick it apart. Much.

There were several spelling mistakes and a few grammar mistakes that I caught (such as using to instead of too occasionally), so just keep that in mind. Another thing I would recommend is to use a variety of sentence structures. It kinda felt like reading a children's book.

I'm not gonna critique you any more than that because I am not an expert writer either and would feel like a hypocrite if I did critique you more. So now on to words of encouragement.

You're doing pretty well for your first fic. Whatever people say, don't stop writing. That's how you get better. I'll definitely watch this fic to see how it plays out.

[01019928383]

i- i have that cover as my desktop background! xD lol anyways interesting concept

[Namechanger]

1125287 Agreed.

MinervaHoot, I appreciate the fanfic you have written, but the grammer really takes you out. I mean, I have been writing for about a year, so I can consider some good tips. Most fanfics dont include parentheses in their stories telling the reader information.

I.E. "Scoots" (her nickname)". I'm sure most eople would know who Scootaloo is, or else they wouldnt be here

Also, space those paragraphs man! Spaces after commas! Enter after a qoute, etc.!

Anywho, it's a good story, but if I watch it, I probably won't get around to see it.

Still, keep writing, pay attention in english class (like myself), and don't give up!

[Yellotion]

Umm...It feels rushed a bit. Like there's not enough detail. Grammar is another thing you need to work on. For a first fic, pretty good but it would definitely benefit from an editor going through it with a fine toothed comb to make it the best it can be.
Now for some good points:
The concept is good and I may be following this but I'm already reading so many others, I may not get around to it.

[Enceledus]

dayum this is good

[MinervaHoot]

Thanks for the feedback everypony! I'll edit the spelling, grammar, and the rest. At first I didn't expect it to get comments or anything, so i'm rather happy right now. I better get the English straight before I begin my other project.

[Lazaro Sol]

1126709 WHY, why did you put a smiling emoticon on such a sad story!

[2022cstephens]