Trapped.

by Thunder.S.Strike

Shelter

It was on the day of the great storm. Ponys all across ponyville were Galloping for cover. Most managed to get to there houses, Thay locked the doors and barred thare windows. However, A small group were cut off from ponyville, They were trapped on the side of the mountains. WInds were high, And everypony could feel there Mouths start to freeze. The 7 of them Took shelter in the cave.

The three Fillys looked terrified as a tremendous roar filled the atmospherar and bolts of lightning set trees ablaze! Whist tha're older sisters tryed to comfort them, Two of the mare's decided to survay the cave system. The small orange filly acoompanying the group rushed after them. She was about as tall as youre knee, Was blank on her flank, But you'd never seen as pony move as quick as her. She asked, nervously, like a frightened filly would,

"C..can I come with you?"

to wich, the eldest mare just smiled and nodded. The three of them continued to trot om into the darkness of the cave,
Taking one of the candles with them.

The eldest pony had a Childish pink bow, which she wore with pride. She had Glaring blue eyes, And some white freckles that really stood out against her red fur. On one side, these were swept away by her mane. Her main well kept, and was Lavender in colour. Against this lavender colour, was a bright pink patch. and her hoove's were also bright pink.
Dr. lavender sunshine: "So kid, Whats you're name?" Asked the older mare.

"Sc..s.. scootaloo, Madm."

She said with a nervous look on her face, not supprising concidering shadows were dancing on the walls around her.
"Well, Scootaroo, My name is Dr. Sunshine." Said the older pony, In a stern, but compationate tone.

"And I'm Thunder Strike",

Said the younger pony, In a arrogent, and foolhardy voice.

Thunder Strike was a alicorn, who was born In chippingdale, She lived thare for a number years, Until going to the canterlot university. She was brash and foolhardy, but she ment well. She was turquoise in colour, With teal eyes. Her main consisted of two seperate coloured streeks, One a turquoise, the other a light gray.

"Look out!"

A shout echoed through the cave, then a thunderous crash. The three rushed back to see a very large bolder, blocking the enterance way. Afterwords, A long quiate and errie silence followed, whare only the sound of dripping water could be heared throughout the cave.

"Well, It's no good waiting around here"

said the white unicorn, trying to comfort the young-ones.

"Why don't yall take a look around, see if thare's a way out?"

Enquired the orange earth pony in a concerned manner, "We'll take care of the fillys.

"But applejack I wanna go with them!"

Protested young scootaloo.

"Yeah me too" Stated A small, yellow earth pony in a saddened protest.

"I know!" Shouted the young white unicorn!

"Cute Mark Crusaders Cave explorers!" They all shouted, syncronised with one another.

"You mind if we tag along, pardner?" Asked the orange pony.

"Please?" Asked the crusaders, with a sweet smile on there
faces.

The doctor rolled her eyes, and said "Any help would be appreciated..."

Well then, what are we waiting for, lets go!" Shouted thunder strike, who was already galloping deeper into the cave. The others began to trot after her, In silence, just the sound of hooves echoing around the cave.
There was much tension in the cave. Everpony was quiet, all you could hear was 7 sets of hooves over the floor. To break the ice, Applejack asked "So parrtner, where you from?"

"Canterlot" Said the doc. Immediately after, The two unicorns faces lit up. They started to ask all sorts of questions about What the city was like, Did you ever meet the princesses. But the older pony asked politely
"What is it like, growing up in the most desirable city of all of equestria?"

Lavender was silent, With a expression of anger on her face. This quickly snapped back to her normal face and asked

"Do you really want to know?"

The two unicorns nodded, smiling. To which the doc said

"Horrible"

an expression of shock appeared on both the unicorns faces.

"But let me explain, In canterlot, they don't get involved, there's no respect for one another, no common courtesy. That's why I hate canterlot, Thats why I left!"

The orange mare on he right burst out laughing. "Whats so funny?"

"Look at her!"

Lavender glimpsed over to her left, to see a look of shock horror on the unicorn's face. She too let out a little giggle, but quickly started to move on.

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Next week we'll release the next chapter give us your comments we'll read em all BTW if this goes well were thinking of making multiple fics like a series hope you guys enjoy byeeee.

Comments

[will1982]

Well, I hate to say this but...

Grammar is meh
Storyline is so-so
The sentences don't flow that well

Maybe you could get a proofreader or something?

But you show some promise. Maybe make the story more engaging and get a proofreader?