• Member Since 19th Dec, 2015
  • offline last seen Oct 7th, 2022

Crono411


I'm going to finish this FoE fic!

Comments ( 8 )

I didn't expect that ending... I was thinking this was going to be a "doctor slips and kills a pacient", but it was a lot better than that.

Find yourself an editor to go through and patch up the minor rough spots you've got, and you'll have a wonderful little fic. The Dialogue and narrative is written nicely, all I think you need to work on is adding commas where needed and just basic editing stuff

g8 story m8 i r8 8/8

7647875 Thanks! I recently bought a few books for helping out my writing. You should have seen what it looked like before lol. Well you can see it in my other story, but don't do that. Yeah, sentence structure and when I need commons are my weakest points and the more I learn the more confusing it gets. Too many exceptions to every rule!

:pinkiegasp:
:raritycry:
You are one sick, twisted person, ya know that?
I love it. The bit with the stabby bit was a little meh, but the forced resuscitation brought it back around.
It's unfortunately too short for me to really have much more to say, but you did a pretty good job. I would second the 'get an editor' notion, though I would also encourage you to keep working at the grammar until you can do it yourself. Really, though, you've done something right if the grammar is all I have to complain about.

7648491 I'll take that all as a compliment. Where does one find one of these "Editors". My Grammer is on par with my friends but I doubt they want to read it.

This reminded me of scream vs. Friday the 13th, and while i do not usually find such horror my thing, this one reminds me terribly of those films.

I do believe grammar could be improved, but beyond that it's not that bad.

I like it.

7648510

I'll take that all as a compliment.

Good, 'cause it was meant to be one. :heart:

My Grammer is on par with my friends but I doubt they want to read it.

You can always ask, right? :twilightsmile:

If that doesn't work, there are several groups on the site dedicated to helping out with stuff like that. Haven't used any of them myself, but you might consider giving them a try.

Looking for Editors
The Proofreader Group
School for New Writers

wow that's dark. take a thumb from me, if you would kind sir

I've spend time around emergency services personnel so all I'll say is hm.

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