axel106106
Joined 20th Jul, 2013 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Nice. I may not be a fan of AoT But I will read this story cuz it looks very interesting.
So far it looks amazing, just like when you first did it Axel. Keep up the good work and I hope to help you out more in the future.
I'll definitely be keeping tabs on how this progresses. If I had to give a comment so far, it's that I'm still not sure just how many of the Survey Corps are present (I'm at 8, but considering Jean and Ymir seemed to come out of nowhere...). Still, a fairly solid opening.
7609819 It's only 8. Sorry about how many their are.
I'll be switching POV's with the characters at some points. But at other times I'll mainly be focusing on Eren, Mikasa, and Armin.
Can't wait for the next chapter
Even though I don't watch it. It's really good so far. Good work m8
7609841 I would prefer if you kept the relationships to two people, unless you can give good setup and execution, -as well as good reasoning for a harem.
The only parts that I had problems with were the reporter parts. Don't write field reporters like if they were in the studio, they don't have a script and would be liable to act with emotion, like any other civilian at the scene.
The cops wouldn't work like that. Not talking about the guy who shot jaeger, but the police would set up a perimeter in front of any civilians rather than just stay on the road. Your crowd reactions need some work, just a bit more detail, there are always going to be those that run away from the crowd, freeze up and need to be pulled to safety.
The dialogue seems very forced, try to keep it simple and spend more time keeping the characters true to themselves.
The action at the end should have been better developed, no descriptions, simple actions, and no flow. You can put small descriptions of the object where Jaeger and the others went, just remember that you deceive it loosely, don't describe every single detail/location of each object. I really don't know what to say about the actions... well, the actions, as I said, were simple. Put some more meat in those areas, such as instead of
"As the girls along with the last of the students were picked up Celestia got into her car and drove home.
When she finally got back she walked in to see her wife Megan run up and hug her tightly. Celestia had called her earlier explaining the whole thing to her when she was at the hospital."
Try:
The girls were the last of the students to leave, with Rainbow dash being the last. As Celestia waved to them, she decided it was time for her to leave as well.
Trying to keep her mind of the envelope and its contents, she drove down the empty road, thoughts of her long lost son plaguing her mind.
"It was him! I know it!" Celestia proclaimed with conviction, but just as quickly deflated. Taking a more somber and tone,"right?". With a sorrowful glance towards the envelope on the passenger seat, she tried to keep the tears out of her eyes as she drove.
Celestia finally saw her home. Sighing with relief as she gladly took the chance to concentrate on something else. She grabbed the envelope, and had barely steeped out of her car when she was caught in a bone crushing hug. Celestia smiled as she returned Megan's hug. Megan knew what Celestia was going through, Celestial had called, trying to hold back sobs, and explained the situation to her. She had vowed to support her wife in any way possible.
NO HAREM
also know you should not read the manga
I already love this story. Drama, action, suspense, and most of all, amazingness!
Hopefully I can see more soon. You really do rock.
I'm liking this but are reigner, berlot, and annie titan shifters in this?
7612346 I honestly think a harem would ruin this story. I was just asking because I'm used to doing harem stories and wondered what everyone wanted.
I love the idea of Mikasa being very protective around Eren and jealous when any girl is around him. I can see her flipping shit when one of the popular girls asks him out.
38.media.tumblr.com/a1badbec6183d26f1afa3661c970ec55/tumblr_mqmsjhsN6D1ruv1gno1_500.gif
7613979
and I said no to the Manga because there's some people (like me) who are unable to read them for whatever reason and sometimes they spoil to that of the show
why the HELL would someone hire a guy named Quick Impulse with this kind of job?
THE FUCK???
THE DOUBLE-FUCK!?!?!?
I can relate to the father thing, but nonetheless*inhales deeply*THE TRIPLE-FUCK!!!!!!!!!
7611452 Thank you, your advice really helps out a lot.
I have to admit, you write very good. I need to take lessons from you.
7624776 Ditto, I'm with you in three part in this story that I've just readied.
7628401
I just found out what attack on titan was, now I have Wings of freedom, and I'm fuckin addicted to it.
More, please.
7608984
I just found out what it was a few days ago.
I have the PS4 game and shit.
You should go watch it, its very good.
Just wondering Axel, but should we be expecting an update any time soon?
Ohhh man this is gonna be good, at what point does this take place in in AoT
YES, HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!
7610818 you really should, it's amazing
I'd have to say that the story is good so far and hope to read more. The story has a pretty good premise and a great backstory for the characters and is a great read.
Now when you asked if you should read the manga, it's your decision. But the manga my have different stuff than what was shown in the anime.
😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
KO awesome chapter, well things went well Celestia is reunited with her son though not a good impression at first as for he and his group are going to join a very special class at Canterlot High.
8266363
He's married, but not to Pacifica. His wife will show up a little later. I rule 63ed one of the characters from gravity falls. *Hint hint*
8266855
Yes... Yes she is.
8266416
I may take long on writing chapters but I will never let my stories die!
Good chapter but this is not a grammar or spelling error.. Just.. There is too many spaces between each paragraph. It just looks weird to me. Still love the chapter.
awesome chapter dude!
8277706
Thank you!
8278059
and Pinkie said the're expressing their love for each other.
I especially liked the part where Mikasa talked Eren in the buff
8278059
and as for dipper I thought he would take on a Nathan Drake kind of thing. but the CIA thing is still cool.
I think that The Doctor would be a perfect fit for this verse
The Doctor would make a fantastic history teacher, as well as a secret guardian of the world of time and space. And if a student were to say they faced bigger and badder monsters, The Doctor will prove them wrong. After all, he is the "On coming Storm".
When do you plan on updating?
8266677
bring us the fucking doctor
8451183
I would love to but I have never seen the show.
If you can give me a rundown of his character, personality, and history/backstory then I would be happy to put him in there.
8451413
this should help you out tell me what you think after seeing it
this sums up what kind of man the doctor is and this trailer shows his sad fate
the war and the battles he fought to save them all his loss and his pain
8451413
also i need more of Second Chances for Death's Friends Deadpool is my spirit animal
8451413 i left you to videos that should give you some info on the doctor tell me what you think of the videos and the character
8451413
respond
8457354
That was awesome and epic!
I think I know someone who has seen the show and can fill in the blanks for me. If all goes well... This will happen.
8459482
I need more Second Chances for Death's Friends
I had a feeling that Eren would flip shit when Celestia would tell him she's his mother. Damn, wonder how he'll take this all in now.
Either way, this was a great chapter. I look forward to seeing the rest of it soon.
8459482
I would also recommend Negi Springfield and Koro Sensei. (Negima, Assassination Classroom)
1.bp.blogspot.com/-CV7SE-ZpSRM/T5_4THqk9AI/AAAAAAAADvo/4DCKESQ_YMs/s320/554182.jpg
i.pinimg.com/736x/ca/bb/84/cabb84abb86cc2f97e7d4982b01f442c--classroom-koro-sensei-fanart.jpg
They would be fantastic Teachers
Brony on bro!!
Where did you find the cover art?
SnK and MLP EG crossover!!!!!!!! Best fic ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brony on My Good Friend.