A guy who writes about fat horse, among other things. If that's not your thing, no one's stopping you from looking someplace else.
Winter is near, and the Apple family has been left with a huge collection of apples, pies, fritters, cider and all sorts that haven't been sold or dealt with. And it's all about to go bad.
Applejack won't stand for that, so she's determined to find a way to make use of all her hard work...
Another WG story I wrote a good while ago, this time of apple horse. Enjoy!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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7583413 Here's hoping!
I enjoyed this story quite a bit. But there were a few bits with the writing that stuck out to me.
Issues: Comma splice. You're using "shuddered" as a synonym of "said", but it isn't. And telling us Applejack used a colourful colloquialism is redundant, since we just read what AJ said. To fix, you could replace with:
Another bit: Both times that you focus on AJ's cutie mark stretching, you mention that the fading would heal over time. I don't think that repetition is necessary. I think you could get away with reassuring the readers that the mark will heal just after the last mention of it stretching.
I hope that's not too overbearing. Thanks for writing and publishing this.
EDIT: And I just now noticed you wrote this "a good while ago". Oh well.
7584098 In hindsight, I probably should have done some edits before I uploaded this here
I've learned from back then, don't worry
But thanks all the same!
"Applejack what are you doing? you can't eat all those fucking apples!"
7847466 "F**K YOU I CAN'T EAT ALL THESE APPLES!!"
Short but sweet. You're a promising writer.
8296912
Thanks very much!
if it took rd several weeks of eating fritters filled with twilight's weight gain magic to get huge in https://www.fimfiction.net/story/346908/1/grounded/eat-yourself-at-home, how'd aj get so big in a single night?