• Member Since 24th Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen May 16th, 2022

Saris Daddy


Romani ite domum

E
Source

From this day to the ending of the world,
But We in it shall be remembered-
We few, We happy few, We band of sisters;
For She to-day that sheds her blood with me
Shall be my Sister; be She ne'er so vile

General Applebloom adressing the troops.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 5 )

So... if Angel didn't steal the Zap Apple cookies, what happened to them?

9312715
They were still in the stove. when angel collected his cookies.
Granny Smith told the appleborms that their cookies were almost ready and they just assumed that the cookies were theirs.
So when they saw an happy angel hopping away with a bag of cookies they just assumed.

This has been a rather short amusing read, though some errors and inconsistencies in capitalization bothered me a little while reading through it. Also, I don’t think you suck that much at writing action scenes. Just remember to still include some details, but keep the sentences short, and you should be fine.

9610898
Thank you

I'm sorry for the capitalization errors I'm struggling with that cuz in my native language we tend to capitalise every noun and sometimes I just start throwing grammar rules together or disregard them all. ^^`

I thank you for your input and I will try to do better in my next story (I will someday also go over this story and fix every mistake i can find.)

9619437
You’re welcome, glad I could help!

I see, you are German, right? I have to say, your grammar is still really good for a non-native English speaker :pinkiesmile: As for the capitalization, we are all blind to our own mistakes, so getting another pair of unbiased eyes may help you a lot.

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