After his staff of security officers come down with the billygoat flu, Iron Will desperately seeks replacements. With only a few hours before his seminar, he reluctantly hires four fillies to assist. Iron Will is skeptical, but he doesn't have much of a choice.
But does he really have anything to worry about? After all, it's just an assertiveness seminar. His new hires will just have to check tickets. Security is easy, isn't it? Nothing bad will happen.
Right?
Isn't this the CMC we're talking about?
Thanks to Biker_Dash and ValorlordV5 for editing.
Now Featured on Equestria Daily!
Rated Teen for raunchy humor, language, and four fillies abusing their authority.
Chapters (2)
This fanfic is just to funny!
But! Its so adroable, the cutie mark crusaders are always so adroable! and funny~ 
Its so awesome seeing you write Babs in another fanfic that is not SR or SAA and TR. Very interesting.
Babs is a badass pony but you know who else is badass? You!
I Love You Darling
and keep the good writing my sweet love 
Oh and btw, so cute shipping hints of "AppleSeed" and "ScootaBelle"
two of my fav ships 
aaaaannnddd I ship you and me ofc, Love ya 
And away we go!
And it's a good one so far!
~Skeeter The Lurker
I will read this in its entirety later. Until then...
sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-calm-and-fuck-the-police-1.png
This entire story, I was unable to determine if Babs' accent was supposed to be New Yorkish or ebonics.
I'm not entirely sure whether that's a bad thing.
3046651 READ IT NOW BIOTCH!!!
3046722 It's a Manehatten accent, and there is only ONE writer I have seen to pull it off correctly.
(Babs, you're a genius!)
oh man, this looks kick ass... I am busy writing my story, but when I finish it, I will totally be downloading this.
3046754
That being said, the first person to write an engaging MLP fanfiction entirely in Ebonics will get all of my internets.
BABS!
3046774 just threw down the challenge! You NEED to DO EET!!!
DO EET NOW!
3046774 Seriously, that idea is SO full of win, and if she does it, she wins all of my internets as well
Only halfway through, and already I'm frightened.
3045932 dear christ so many emoticons
Just by reading the description, I can tell I'm in for a world of laughs.
u wot m8
3045932 3046035
3046633
Thanks, Skeeter!
3046651
Buck da police.
Hope you like the story!
3046754
Heh, thanks! I try.
3046771
Thanks! I hope you like it!
3046774 3046822 3046824
You know, I might just do this someday.
3047759
Wait until the second chapter!
3047788
Bro, be nice to my girlyfriend.
3048274
You better believe it!
3048996
Sweetie's been taking lessons from Pinkie about walls...
3049025
3046722
It's a combination of both, really. My own personal take on the Manehatten accent.
3049550
Interesting,
3049546 but there are so many
In order for you to pass, you will need 250 Awesome points to proceed.
+20 Fucking funny as all hell
+10 Sweetie Broke the 4th wall (something added to the list of characters that I saw do it... Discord, Vinyl Scratch, Pinkie Pie ... really? I can't believe something like Pinkie breaking the wall exists
)
-10 You never showed a scene where she is learning how to do it, or at least partially explain it (comments don't count as that was rather obvious)
So you now have 20 points... You need 230 points to contin... I mean pass.
You get +50 points for this sentence right here, but what was that word he wouldn't say... and if my mind is taking me where I think it is, I have two, very important questions... "They are removable now? What happened to make the old one stop working?
+90 Points! But where the hell would Scootaloo learn about that sort of thing with Sweetie
Does the internet exist in Equestria? Are they at the age to learn about it in school? Why doesn't Babs Seed have an Emoticon?
+90 Points! You made my dad yell at me for laughing too loud while he was watching classic Dr. Who
You successfully reached 250 points! (unless my math is off in which case you probably didn't) This story was easily worth it's hype I put on it in my head. I built up enough expectation to be thoroughly disappointed should it suck. I didn't much like Scootaloo being a Butt Monkey of misfortune
but it wasn't enough to dock points as the Scootabelle ship easily cancelled that nastiness out. As long as one of them don't die in their shipped story, you can make any story with the Crusaders better with that ship.
I wish you made Babs or Scootaloo like Cartman, but that's just me. This story was hysterical... Sweetie was the only one who really didn't abuse her power willingly or with as much of a smile on her face as the others. She was peer pressured into it, making her the only innocent one. I was kinda sad that it ended, but that doesn't really have anything to do with this.
Good job and hope the next comedy you decide to grace us with is just as funny. Though if it isn't I will sic something bad on you... probably a combination of Angry Pie and Sad Pie... or a vegetarian Pinkamina "Cupcake" Diane Pie...
3050613
But be nice!
3050824
Yay! I'm glad I passed!
As for what Iron Will was gonna say, it kinda rhymes (not exactly) with "pillow". That's the only clue I'll give you.
The Internet doesn't exist in this form of Equestria! Sex ed, maybe. I always have seen the CMC is around ten to twelve years old, even though they are probably younger. But if I'm correct about their ages, they would be starting to learn about that stuff.
ScootaBelle is indeed an awesome CMC ship. Sorry, but Scootaloo as a Butt Monkey is just kinda funny to me.
I'm happy to be forgiven though!
I guess Babs is kinda channeling Cartman! Maybe I should do a "Eric Cartman In Equestria" story at some point.
Thanks again, I hope my next comedy is just as funny!
Haha. Great chapter! All I can imagine is Babs with a sheriff badge that says "you tried".
3051516 but
Goddamnit. I want one now.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Read that. Lost it.
I love you, you know that?
~Skeeter The Lurker
3051936
Like this?
data.whicdn.com/images/53924393/32628_thumb.jpg
3053506
Bro.
Don't make me spam you. 
3054555
Sweet, sweet diabetes.
3054572
Love you too, Lurker The Skeeting.
3054893
Huh... That's as badass as Bowser The Lurker...
Niiiiice!
~Skeeter The Lurker
I love the name of the Festival.
3063933
It's a truly American affair.
Hahhaa!!! I couldn't stop laughing the whole time. Love it!
3071085
Haha thanks! Glad you liked it!
She knows...
3171597
She does!
Didn't even give her a chance to pay a fine or go to jail.
3171697
Scootaloo is worst cop.
3171704
Heh. Great story by the way, loved the references, loved everything about it.
3171718
Glad you liked it! Thanks for the favorite too!
Finally got to read this one... twas hysterical! :D
3248415
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!
Second fourth wall break was less funny than the first.
3391703
Noted. I'll have to remember to save future ones to one (hopefully) hilarious one. Thanks!
Still not sure what Mayor Mare was doing down there.
3391772
Just coming by to check on stuff. Unfortunately, a wild Scootaloo appeared!
Actually, it was a triple negative, which conveys the precise meaning of the thought. Babs fails Grammar Nazi forever.
3595332
Babs is worst Grammar Nazi.
I think you misused the word 'pithy'. Pithy means having substance, or point.
3919834
Thanks, I'll fix that.
Should not have read this in school...
Teacher: WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?!
This has 'glorious disaster' written all over it.
I pity the fool, Iron Will.
This can only end in tears.