This is Equestria
This is Equestria. It's twelve days North of Hopeless and a few degrees South of Freezing to Death. It's located solidly on the Meridian of Misery. Sounds 'charming' right? Kinda makes you wonder what kinda folks our forbearers were and what kind of trails they were going through, but I digress. Welcome to Equestria and despite the names of certain areas, it's actually a nice place to live and grow up.
We've got all sorts of activities, fishing, hiking, camping, beautiful landscapes and gorgeous views of the sunset. Yet at the same time, the Meridian of Misery didn't get its name for nothing. It isn't exactly a place for the faint of heart. Things can get pretty harsh around here, especially in the winter. First thing you should know is that Equestria isn't a continent like you might think. It's a archipelago of islands with a bigger one in the center that serves as a 'capital'. That's where I live and it's where our story begins.
The day started out like any other day......
✴✴✴✴✴✴✴
I yawned and stretched as I got out of bed. I folded my woolen blanket and then got ready for the day. First thing I did was wash my face in the basin, the cool water sending a slight shiver down my spine. I then pulled on a light brown tunic and fastened it with a belt before pulling on my fur vest then putting my mane up in my trademark bow. The ribbon was the first thing I bought from the traveling traders and to this day I was proud of it and wore it every day.
One glance at my sister's bed told me that she was already awake and likely out working with my brother. They always get up early to work on the farm. After breakfast with Granny and my chores, I ran out to find that my suspicions were correct. There out tending the fields was an orange earthpony mare with a blonde mane a red wool tunic with a belt, a vest and red wool cap. Working alongside her was a large red stallion with the start of a beard the same color as his mane and tail wearing a green wool tunic, belt and a vest as well.
"Applejack! Big Mac!" I called out as I galloped towards them.
"Morning Applebloom!" Applejack called out in reply as I skidded to a halt in front of her.
"Morning!" I replied cheerfully. "I finished my chores so can I go hang out with my friends?"
Applejack frowned a bit. "Don't ya have an apprenticeship ta get to?" The orange earthpony asked. "You should be heading to the forge right about now."
I pouted and gave AJ my best pleading eyes. "But it'd only be for a little while and I'm sure Anvil will mind too much." I pleaded with my sister. "Sides' there ain't much work ta be done right now, so there ain't much need for me ta be there."
"There may not be much work fer you ta do, but you ain't there ta just work." Applejack countered firmly. "Yer there ta learn how ta be a blacksmith and y'all can't do much learning if you ain't there."
At this point, Big Mac put a hoof on AJ's shoulder. "Ah think we should let her hang out with her friends fer a bit." He said gently. He had a deep rumbling voice that sounded like thunder even when he was speaking quietly. He wasn't much of a talker, but when he did speak, folks tended that listen. Especially when he was shouting. Anyways, my face brightened at my brother's support while Applejack scowled but neither of us said anything as he continued.
"Applebloom's been working very hard lately and she deserves a little break." He said. "And I'm sure Anvil will agree. She's just a filly ya know. She should spend some time having some fun with her friends. Remember you and yer friends used ta get into all sorts of trouble when you were her age."
Applejack blushed and I giggled. AJ was silent for a bit before finally capitulating with a sigh. "Fine, y'all can hang out but on one condition." She said before I could cheer. "You need ta go talk to Anvil first before you can go hang out with her friends and if he says it's okay, you can go hang out."
"Okay." I agreed with a nod before galloping down the hill.
✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴
After getting Anvil's approval, I rushed out to find my friends. Now your probably wondering why I'm a blacksmith apprentice instead of working the farm with my family. Well, I've always been more mechanically minded and I'm good at fixing all sort of things. From fixing up the house like my brother to figuring out how to put together mechanical devices. Nothing really complicated or electrical, but good enough for us.
That's how I earned my cutiemark. My cutiemark is the picture of a stone hammer over a pair of red hot gears that look like they were freshly forged. I only just earned earlier this year and when I did, my siblings arranged for me ta be the apprentice to the local blacksmith. I think it helped that my brother and Anvil are old buddies. Anyways, I pushed my thoughts aside when I saw that I was approaching one of my friend's house.
I knocked on the door and when it opened, I was greeted by my friend's older sister, a white unicorn with a purple mane covered by a white kerchief and wearing a blue linen underdress with a white wool hangerock all fastened with a belt and brooches and decorated with glass beads.
"Hey miss Rarity." I greeted. "Is Sweetie Bell home?"
Rarity nodded. "She is. Would you like to come in?" The older pony offered and I took her up on her offer. Inside Sweetie Bell was standing at a vertical loom with a partially woven piece of cloth. She wore a dress similar to her sister's, but her underdress was a lighter blue than her sister's and her hangerock was light pink like her mane with amber beads strung between her brooches. She also covered her mane with a white kerchief and though I couldn't see it, I knew what Sweetie's cutiemark looked like. An embroidered musical note with a needle. I honestly thought it looked neat, like someone had embroidered it on her flank.
As I approached, Sweetie turned from her work to me. "Applebloom? What brings you around here?" She asked.
"I wanted to hang out with my friends, so I was wondering if you were free." I explained. "I already talked to Anvil and he's okay with it. So, you up for it?"
Sweetie Bell gave it some thought then turned to Rarity with her begging eyes. Now while I can attest to how effective my own puppy dog pouts and begging eyes, Sweetie is the true master of the pleading pout and puppy dog eyes. I'm not sure how she does it, but she can make herself look so adorable it's heartbreaking. Rarity held strong, but she didn't stand a chance against Sweetie Bell especially when I added my own efforts to the cause. Finally she capitulated.
"Very well, you may spend a few hours with your friends." She sighed. "I'm sure I can finish this up, just remember to stay out out trouble and come back as soon as possible. There's still work to be done."
"Oh thank you thank you big sis!" Sweetie cried as she threw herself at Rarity and gave her a hug. "And I promise I'll come back as soon as I can."
"Be sure you do." Rarity said with a smile. "It will be quite dull here without your sweet voice."
Sweetie blushed at her sister's compliment. Ten minutes later we were out the door and on our way to our third friend's place. Sweetie Bell had removed her kerchief as she'd only been wearing it to keep her mane from getting caught. Now that she wasn't wearing her kerchief, her pink and purple curls now fell around her face and down her neck. Sweetie had been the first of our group to earn her cutiemark and when she did, her sister took her on as an apprentice.
Then earlier this this year I earned my cutiemark mark leaving Scootaloo then only one in our group that still had a blank flank. So in order to not hurt her feelings, Sweets and I took to covering our own cutiemarks by wearing clothes. I know that it wasn't that big of a sacrifice since folks mostly wore clothes due to the chill that hovered in the air but half the time, fillies and colts our age went around without clothes especially when they'd just earned their cutiemark. But when Sweetie earned her cutiemark, all three of us promised each other that we wouldn't flaunt our cutiemarks until we all earned them.
Scootaloo lived near the docks because her parents were fishers and during this time of year, they would be out at sea for days evens weeks on fishing expeditions. Due to this, Scootaloo was very good at taking care of herself. When she didn't answer her door, we found her at the docks with a fishing pole. The orange pegasus filly was wearing her own brown tunic with a belt and a lightweight leather vest and a wool cap.
Now right about now, your probably thinking 'ponies wearing leather and furs? Aren't you a little disgusted since your herbivores?' Well you'd be right if we were strictly herbivorous and to some extent we are. Ponies are built to be an herbivorous species, but we are still capable of eating and digesting meat when we need to (one of the quirks of being a magical pony species I guess) and our environment isn't capable of supporting a strictly herbivorous diet, especially in winter.
There's a reason why we're a few degrees North of Freezing to Death. Winters are cold and harsh where food can be scarce, especially vegetation. I know there have been a couple winters where I had to skip a few meals. My older siblings however have skipped more meals than I have. Usually to make sure I have food. Anyways, my sister says that eating meat started out as a nessesity for during lean times back when our ancestors first came to these islands. But gradually over time our bodies evolved to take meat as sustenance.
Granny says that because of our natural magic, we can adjust to environments and living conditions pretty quickly. So yes, ponies can and do eat meat. Mostly fish, but chicken, pig, and whatever wild animals we can catch aren't off the menu. Plus it would just be wasteful if we didn't use the furs and other parts so out of respect for the lives that we take, we use every part of the animal. That's not to say fruits and vegetables are off the table. We're still herbivores and we still need to take in some form of vegetation. But the land is harsh and even though we can grow food, we just can't grow enough to completely support ourselves on an herbivorous diet. But I'm getting off track.
Anyways, when we told Scoots what we were doing, she immediately agreed. And so with our little group complete, we rushed back into the village.
"So, what do we want to do first?" Scoots asked.
"Well I figured we could go into the forest for a little hike." Applebloom suggested. "It's a nice day out and with how hard Sweets and I have been working, I figured we could relax a bit and get some fresh air. We might go to the lake and go swimming."
"Sounds cool." Scootaloo said. "Well then what are we waiting for, let's go!"
✴✴✴✴✴✴
Our forests are very beautiful and refreshing. Great towering pines that exude a fresh scent and large hills\mountains to climb. Despite all its flaws and dangers, Equestria is a great place to grow up with lots of wide open spaces to explore and play. When were younger, we used to play in these woods all the time so we pretty much know this place like the back of our hooves. So it came as a surprise when we saw the wrecked trees.
Right in front of us was a line of broken trees like something plowed through them. Something huge. And judging by the damage, it was pretty fresh like it'd been done recently. For a moment we stood there with our mouths agape at the damage. Then Scootaloo grinned and went to follow the trail.
"Scoots!" I hissed in alarm. "What the hay are you doing!?"
"I'm going to see what made this trail." The pegasus replied.
"Are you crazy!" Sweetie Bell cried in alarm. "Whatever is at the end is probably huge! What if it's hungry?"
Scootaloo paused and turned to look at us. "Oh come on, where's your sense of adventure?" She said. "Remember when we were younger, we used to go on all sorts of adventures."
"Relatively harmless adventures." I replied. "And none that involved chasing a huge monster!"
"Still, aren't you at least a little curious about what did this?" Scootaloo countered. "C'mon, let's check out just for old times sake. I might even earn my cutiemark. Besides, what's the worst that could happen."
I gave my friend my flattest look. "I could think of hundreds or worst case scenarios, more than half of them ending in digestion." I said drily then sighed. "Fine, we'll go with you even if only to keep you out of trouble. But if we do this, we're going to be careful. I'm not too keen to end up as some creature's snack.
"Me neither." Sweetie Bell chimed.
"Fair enough, now can we go?" Scootaloo said before taking off with Sweets and I trailing behind. As I examined the damage, I was able to safely guess what happened. From the looks of it, something big fell from the sky and crashed in the forest. This narrowed down the list of possible creatures to more airborne creatures. Unfortunately, a pegasus wasn't on the list as there was no pegasus this big or capable of taking this much punishment.
Soon we reached the part of the trail where whatever this thing was hit the ground, digging furrows in the dirt and eventually digging itself a trench. Just over a small dip, we spotted it.
"A dragon!!!?!" Sweetie hissed in alarm as she ducked behind a rock. "It's a dragon!!!"
"Really!!" Scootaloo said excitedly as she peeked over. With a swift yank, we pulled her back behind our hiding place.
"Don't draw attention to us." I hissed as quietly as possible. "We don't know if it's a friendly dragon or not!"
"Don't be such scardy cats." Scoots replied as she yanked her vest from our grasp. "Besides, it doesn't look like it's awake." Then before we could stop her, she stepped out from behind our rock. We flinched back and shielded ourselves from the inevitable, but all that greeted us was silence.
"You two can come out now. It's not even conscious." Scootaloo's voice suddenly said. I slowly removed my hooves from my head and trotted towards my friend even slower.
"If we die, I swear to Celestia I'll haunt to the end of days." I growled at her and Scoots scoffed as she trotted towards the dragon.
"How would that even work, I'd be a ghost too." She replied and I glared at her.
"I don't know, but by Luna I'll find a way." I swore. Sweetie Bell didn't say a word, just followed me quietly. Like Scoots had said, the dragon was indeed out cold and sprawled out on it's side with one wing sticking up. As I looked over the dragon, I had to admit it looked beautiful. Its body, clearly designed to fly at top speeds, was sleek and aerodynamic with wicked looking claws and short teeth designed for fish eating. The whole creature covered in black scales.
"So what kinda dragon do you think it is?" Scootaloo finally asked.
"I don't know." I said as I continued to look over the strange new dragon. "I've never seen this dragon before."
"Seriously!? Does that mean that this could be like a new species of dragon?" Scoots asked with a hint of excitement glittering in her eyes.
"Probably not." Sweetie Bell finally worked up the courage to speak. "I mean just because we haven't seen it before doesn't mean someone else hasn't. It's a big world and there are tons of dragons out there. For all we know, this could be a species that's known elsewhere."
Scootaloo frowned at our unicorn friend. "You just had to go and steal my thunder." She grumbled and I chuckled. It felt kinda like old times before Sweets and I got our cutiemarks.
Then at that moment there was a groan that didn't come from any of us. We froze stiff as all around died in our throats then we slowly turned towards the source of the groan. The dragon's eyelids were twitching at it pulled a leg out from underneath it's body to rub it's head. We quickly clustered together and watched in silence as the dragon moan and groan as it woke. When it's eye snapped open, we saw it had bright emerald eyes with a large black pupil. It then staggered to its feet in a way that made us wince. Then as it was massaging it's head, Sweetie Bell spoke up.
"Uh, um excuse me." She called quietly and the dragon snapped it's head towards us. "Are you okay?"
Silence fell like a heavy blanket over the atmosphere as both parties stared at each other waiting for either side to make the first move. Then, the dragon let out a roar. In hindsight, he was probably screaming because he then began roaring even louder but at the time we were too caught up in our own screaming\running to notice.
✴✴✴✴Dragon's POV✴✴✴✴
What the *******. As I lay flat on my back, I thought about had just occurred and after getting that out of my system, I could now think more clearly. I woke up to a massive, throbbing headache and various other aches and pains all over my body but the more pressing issue was my head injury and I sincerely hoped I didn't have a concussion. However, concussions became the least of my worries very quickly.
As I was rubbing my head to both ease the pain and examine the damage (thankfully there was no blood) it quickly became apparent that something was wrong. My hand and my head felt different than what I was used to and I was pretty my body didn't normally move that way. A quick examination of my hand revealed claws and black scales instead of human fingers and skin. My jaw (which now felt bigger than it was supposed to) dropped.
A look over my body revealed what I'd been dreading. Sleek black body, huge black wings and a flat skull with a wide mouth. I was a Night Fury. And then as if thing weren't crazy enough, the universe decided to throw me a curve ball in the form of three, pastel, TALKING ponies. Judging by their voices they were pretty young but that barely registered as I was still in shock and staring at these three impossibilities. And as I was staring, I noticed that only one of the fillies was 'normal' and I use the term very very loosely.
One filly had a horn on her head, denoting her as a unicorn and the other had wings indicating a pegasus. It was the straw to break the camel's back. That was it, I was done. Kaput. Fried. So I did the first thing that came to mind. I screamed. Only it came out as a roar which freaked me out even more leading to a much louder 'roar'. I almost didn't notice when the fillies let out their own screams and ran off. I was too busy experiencing a mental breakdown.
I don't really remember what happened exactly only that I went tearing through the forest screaming all the way. I didn't calm down until I ended up falling a great distance and smacked my face in a faceplant. Once I was relatively 'calm' I took a few deep breaths then surveyed my surroundings. I'd ended up in a ravine almost identical to the one Toothless ended up in in the first movie. There was even a small pond and tree roots providing shelter.
For a time I just lay there coming to terms with what happened. At one point I cried for five minutes straight when I thought about how I wouldn't be able to see Saskia again. Eventually I reached the conclusion that nothing gets done when you're just sitting on your but feeling sorry for yourself. A cursory glance told me that I wouldn't be able to climb up so that left me only one option. I spread my wings and grinned. Time to test these babies out.
With a single flap, I was airborne. I was flying on my own power and the little boy in me couldn't help but whoop and cheer in excitement at the thought of flying through the sky. If there was one good trade-off from this mess, this would be it. I could almost feel the air right now when suddenly I was dropping like a stone and ended up in the pond. I looked around in confusion then my gaze landed on my tail and I blanked out for a moment.
No.
No no no no no no no no no oh please no.
I kept going like that in denial, but the fact remained. I was missing a tail fin. I vital part of myself that was needed for flying was missing and to make matters worse I was stuck in the bottom of a ravine that required FLIGHT to get out. A small part of my brain reasoned that it must've gotten torn off in the fall but I was a bit busy cursing my luck.
'Oh @#%$ what did I do to deserve this?!!' That was the first time I threw a plasma ball.
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Alright another HTTYD story! There aren't enough of these
7663945 Indeed.
Nice start, keeping an eye on this one.
FYI, equines can eat meat, no magic needed. Admittedly, that's in our world, where they can be trained to eat it, especially in higher elevations where vegetation is scarce...
This was my idea! Haven't read it yet, but in my version hes a mute that has to prove himself to a frightened populous.
more
66.media.tumblr.com/ae0bb48ad56c4044cba3cd94ad032252/tumblr_mqo5oqBDfP1rokwrho1_500.jpg
65.media.tumblr.com/1f83319d434194f53bb009e955cb91d7/tumblr_noq6qhoRAg1rokwrho1_500.jpg
if you ever need a proofreader, PM me.
This sounds like a displaced story, go check out their group.
thumbs up and add story to tracking.
Welp, I'm hooked! Activating tracking beacon!
awesome story detected adding to everything (also made a new library for it)
7664351 Oh boy. The look of that mare's gryphon butler. Based on pure speculation, I'm guessing he isn't use to seeing ponies eat that much meat. Probably isn't use to see a gryphon eat that much as well. That is alot of food regardless of where it originated.
HTTYX crossover?
Instant favorite.
Please please please Random, let it be GOOD displaced story, with only "displaced" element as a convenient starting point.
And without crossovers with this whole universe. That will be golden.
\added to "read it later". Will read in a couple of days/
;)
7664720 Well, then there's also
7664842 Not all writers are going to write the same.
As for the writer: The story is fine, though an editor is needed. You have several mistakes that can be easily corrected.
For example:
This suggests Anvil will in fact mind if Applebloom takes a day off from her apprenticeship.
Replace with 'won't'.
Good story to this point, just needs some polish and refinement in your character development.
Will there be a romance tag?
I thought it will be much more liberal crossover.
Kinda sad, that he has the same fate as his original counterpart. And I can shoot a guess that Ab will ride him. Or Scoots for a plot twist, because of her mark situation.
Still - its fine, enjoyable even. And as it was already mentioned - you should invest in an editor.
Killed my 20 minutes already. Keep it up.
7665073 Where would I find an editor?
This is Equestria
This is Equestria
eh, magical healing
7665105 don't be so uncultured!! Displaced is still going strong. :P
Well to be honest the idea is good, the harsh winter and torn tailfin not so much.
The reason? Is its overused and it clearly says your trying way to hard to follow HTTYD in the MLP universe and making ''toothless'' the same like in the movie, flightless and cant speak OR your not creative and we cannot expect too much from you (sorry but its true if this is the case)
The idea as i said would have worked if lets say he and his wife woke up together and ended up with a REAL nightfury egg.
And being that the male nightfury watched maybe a few episodes or vaguely knew MLP would have been a good starting point. That would maybe open up a route how to tackle the situation as he and his wife could still communicate.
trying to find a shelter for the night ect and basics for survival.
Then maybe try and interact with Fluttershy as shes the only with the animal sense to speak to for help and maybe a translation spell later on from Twilight to speak to others other than Fluttershy.
and move on from here as this ''intro'' could be 4-5 chapters if well executed with sneaking around, foraging/hunting fish, maybe a fight with the timberwolves and having to use the plasma bolt to survive and learning maybe of nightfury saliva having regenerative properties.
The ideas are endless you just have to pick....
what do the asterisks mean? they seem too long to be cuss words, so...
7665385 Yeah, pretty much. I don't write swear words, but this seemed like a situation where someone might want to let out a few cuss words. So I chose to indicate that he was cussing and let you use your imagination.
7665385 just checking!
It's featured!
So, I saw this story in the featured box, thought "huh, that's an interesting concept." and moved on. Displaced are very hard to do correctly since most of the fandom has something against it in one way or another, they've really just earned a bad reputation. That's not to say there aren't good ones, I recently read a story called A Moon in a Box, where Luna was Displaced in the human world. Not necessarily original, but very well executed.
Anyway, I come here, to the acutal story because it was brought to my attention again from my friend General Skullcoat, who also threw a review on here. And I want to branch off something he said, really the general execution and how it usually is the bane of Displaced fics (in my opinion, at least). Here's something I said on a thread about a particularly bad Displaced fic.
I'm interested in the idea, but then most of the story is plaqued with unnescesary info. I don't need to know about the character's sexual life unless this is going to be lemon, it's acting as a filler instead of character development and therefore ruining a concept that should be focused on and exploited because it is original. I shouldn't be continuing to see "moving on" and stuff like that because even the character himself knows that he's rambling.
Tl;dr (again)
Interesting concept, execution is meh.
How is this featured? Idk...
Anyway, it was okay I guess? Displaced fics just aren't my cup of tea I guess, they seem too cut and dry for my tastes.
7665083 Make an author note asking for help.
Here's a few group that could help you:
School for New Writers
The Proofreader Group
Authors helping Authors
Looking for Editors
add more chapters. Has potential to be amazing, but avoid too much cliche. tread lightly but tread my dude
is this displaced or is this a crossover of the actually elements of httyd?
7666074 Maybe a combination of the two.
Any schedule or update plan?
7666267 No actually I don't have a formal plan or schedule. Right now though I'm looking into getting an editor as a number of people have made it abundantly clear that I need one.
Congratulations on the feature!!
7666357 Thank you. I honestly didn't expect it to be featured, especially since I just published it last night.
Nice story!
If you need an editor, I'm available. PM me.
7666338 your mistakes aren't that bad, maybe a 'Hiccup' here and there.
7666427 You are welcome!
So, I saw this in the featured box, and I haven't even read it yet, but the synopsis was too perfect to pass up. First on the list for tomorrow! (It's bedtime, toodles)
7666451 BUDAM TSS
If Applebloom, not "I", is suggesting things, then who's doing the narration?
It's a little odd to see the speech and narration in a Point-of-View bit be quite so jarringly different; you write AB's lines pretty well, but she seems to have a wholly different vocabulary in the narration.
Also, not too sure how you'll get the night fury out of that situation. Hiccup was at least born into a setting where dragons were not just heard of but practically commonplace (albeit very violent); in this MLP AU, it sounds like dragons are pretty rare, which would make it even harder for AB to recognize the injury and design a replacement tailfin, even if the dragon can get precise enough motor control to help.
Plus, there's a handful of minor errors (their/they're, using \ instead of the more common /, and missing a few commas, off the top of my head) which aren't particularly harmful, but are all the more noticeable in combination with the other points.
I dunno, maybe I've just set my expectations too high; I rarely read "human+gift in Equestria" stories.
7666556 Ah but remember that this world has one thing that the Vikings in the movie didn't. Pegasi. I'd be very surprised if a pegasus like Scootaloo didn't at least know the basics of flight.
Where... Where's Saskia?
Some questionable choices, childlike and awkward phrases, and odd dialogue... Something tells me this is one of your first fanfics...
Though it's not bad and the story is an interesting premise. Don't quite like the fact that it's so far a carbon copy of How to Train Your Dragon just with ponies, or how hard it is to tell if they are anthro or not, but overall it's still fairly well written. I will continue to read and critique!
At this point I think people are upvoting wildly just for the story concept (or are diehard Displaced fans trying to boost a story in their sphere) and not doing enough to help the author grow as a writer.
7666621 We'll see her soon, don't worry.
You said South earlier, if they were North of Freezing to Death, there would be no hope for them, right?
reactionface.info/sites/default/files/imagecache/Node_Page/images/1316650001572.png
Oh boy, it just keeps happening.
Props to you for that bit about herbivores also eating meat though, even if it wasn't completely accurate in how it was explained. I haven't seen a more realistic approach to herbivore diets in fanfics for a bit now.