Trying to come back from the dead. Harder than I thought though...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Interesting idea.
Happy Frieza Day!
Should be ‘’their’’ I think.
Already hooked on this story! Can’t find an asylum human fic that lasts more than 10k words so I have high hopes for this!
10598378
Indeed it should, I'll fix it no problem. Thanks for the help. Also I'm glad you enjoy it so far, I hope I can make the rest just as appealing for you.
I'm surprised their aren't more stories were the human turned pony ends up in an asylum.
I have been waiting for another good story with that setup for literal years, finally. It's nice to see an a guy turning up in Equestria an seen as a literal crazy person and be committed. Generally, I can not a fan of reincarnation or possessions, but I will admit that is might be necessary if you want the guy to really question if his entire existence was a fabrication of his damaged mind, with even if he rejects it I am sure there will have lingering doubts about it in the back of his mind . At the moment he hasn't scene magic from ponies so I don't think he will believe that that he had magical tempering just yet, but I am sure it will turn his world upside down. I wonder if the ponies cutie mark made him predisposed to got crazy or sudden bouts of irrational anger or frustrations. I wonder if the original pony soul mind is still barred inside or that it was long sense vacant. I would guess if he still have a cutie mark it might still mean that the original owner has clam to the body? At the moment it seems like he is a Earth Pony.
As for being committed to a mental hospital it would most likely be a massive detriment to his mental health with ponies that were abused had brain damaged or have mental illness, nervous break down, there could be a lot a funny moments, but you should take care as to not just saying they are funny because they are crazy all the time, they are people/ponies after all they do have and Trap will have to realize it. I wouldn't be surprised the cutie marks can be a big issue for ponies to be place in those asylum if they take a very negative interpretation of their meaning and their cutie mark with predilections for neurosis spiraled them into a break down, like Trouble Shoes, or the ponies of Our Town, I think Trap won't give a shit about those marks but I think it could a way for him to better cope with his stressful situation. I wonder if he will caught on early enough and try to act like a normal pony and just get stuck doing remedial classes and physical therapy, though I am sure he will screw it up somehow. Looking forward to seeing more of this story.
Also, if you are looking to commissions a cover art for your story you can look me up, I have a DeviantArt gallery here and a Youtube channel here.
I wish you good luck on your story
10598602
Hey, I’ve seen your art floating around a lot. It’s some really cool stuff.
As for the story I’m glad you’re enjoying it so far, and I hope you can keep enjoying it in the future. I’m going to admit, I’m kinda rusty with story writing, and some areas feel a bit clunky being put down, so if you have any constructive criticism feel free to add it. It really helps to improve.
Thanks for your wishes, have a great day.
10598677
There are a few Groups that offer Editors and proofreading. I myself found my Editor on the group Looking for Editor.
They are really helping me iron out my own writing issues.
Well this looks interesting so far
If you wish I could help you edit the story.
I don't think I've seen a HiE quite like yours before. Has me intrigued and wanting more. A question I have to ask is, not only did her get tossed across dimensions, but did he also get tossed backwards in time or did his consciousness get dumped into another pony's body?
10599616
Hey, I’m glad you enjoy the story. And it makes me feel really great to hear I’m doing something unique
To answer your question, well I’m not really sure what you mean by backwards in time relatively speaking, but if you mean the time period within the show, then I’d have to say, just before the changeling invasion. The canterlot one. Also, yes, the concept is that he found himself waking up in a pre-existing body.
I hope that helps, and I hope you enjoy more of the story.
10599096
Thanks for the heads up, I might check them out. It’s good to hear when other people are able to improve their writing skills, so it may be a good thing to check into.
10599634
What I mean is that it's clear he's been in a coma long enough to suffer serious muscle atrophy, when he crossed the dimensional boundaries, did his body not only get transformed into a pony, but got tossed backwards in time so that it grew up with its own thoughts and identity before his mind caught up to it or is his body stranded somewhere in the inter-dimensional medium, possibly atomized and his mind got deposited into a comatose and possibly brain dead pony?
10599652
Ah, that’s a good question. And a good theory... I’m kinda sad I didn’t think of that. No, I just went with the default ‘I’ve been soul dump into another body’ routine, but that other one probably would’ve been cooler.
Interesting story so far. I look forward to more.
The grey mush in his apartment was hospital gruel? I was thinking that it was actual brain matter from the fall that knocked him unconscious and his head somehow magically healed.
Why not have him try to find out what they dont know and telling them about it, like things such as steel or something?
Oh boy, the irony.
What was she gonna say?
What does that mean?
10620587
Lol I meant the last one as Someone accidentally stepping on his groin. Sorry if it wasn't very obvious
As for what she was going to say, let's just use our imagination
How does he know it was yesterday? And where did the clown part come from?
Arsehole?
Wait, so that’s his second time?
The doc is sus.
I honestly didn’t think about it that way until you mentioned it.
Nice to know
I think there’s an mlp episode of a character saying something similar.
What happened to his jaw?
Is this important?
Wait, what was she gonna say?
F*ck you, too.
A pair of what?
Wow, so whether he called the proper authorities or not he would have still ended up in an asylum either way.
That’s interesting to know.
So if saying ‘fuck you’ to the nurse caused her to gasp in real pain, does that mean he is a bard and cast Vicious Mockery by accident?
Glad to see the update. Really enjoyed the chapter
10620730
He was reacting to the wings I believe
10620730
Wait, really?
10620647
10620730
Testicles, guys, really? Testicles? XD
He just saw the wings.
Smooth Procedure is the first pegasus he encountered.
10621027
Because, I assumed that he saw something above his cutie mark and I didn’t know what.
10621129
Honest mistake, I can understand that. Good reading to you :)
10621262
Thank you
More pls
<3
I am loving this.... when is the next fix? *rocking back and forth like some sort of chapter junkie*
10632416
I’m glad you’re enjoying it so far! Unfortunately a new chapter won’t be out as soon as I’d like, though I’m hoping at least by the end of this week. I got sick last week and tried to put stuff down for some reason and ended up with practically gibberish so I’ll have to redo that lol sorry to make you wait
10633551
hehe no need to be sorry, take your time to recover, your health is far more important then your story
Looking forward to more:
Listen to this on loop while reading:
https://youtu.be/ljAyy-dhAz0
Finally got to reading the third chapter! Looks like he's making progress...
What he really needs is to expose them to human knowledge they wouldn't otherwise know. Given that his body has been... Inactive... For a long time, it would raise some doubts and possibly give him a tentative ally. So long as he could be sure the person he's talking to isn't one of those responsible for bringing him here, anyway...
"Graceful" and "flounder" in the same sentence. Colour me impressed.
Estas vivo? Porque dejaste de subir capitulos?