Epilogue
Sunlight. To say that Riven was surprised to see sunlight — or anything for that matter — would have been a great understatement. But that was really all she could see, for her vision was blurry and her eyelids felt heavy. After a bit of experimentation, she found her entire body unresponsive, and her face contorted with worry.
“Relax Riven, you’re safe.”
She knew that voice. Hearing it again gave her a modicum of peace, for last she recalled, its owner was in poor shape. “Twilight… Sparkle?” Riven’s mouth was no more cooperative and each word was slurred and whispered.
“Yes, it’s me. How are you feeling?” Riven heard hoof steps approach and a soft, slightly coarse sensation on her cheek. She was being nuzzled, a gesture she was initially quite apprehensive about. Now, any sensation that affirmed that she was truly alive brought happiness to her heart.
“I… don’t. Everything feels so distant.”
“You’re not yet used to your body. You will be. Cream said it would be rough for the first few weeks.”
Riven sighed in relief. She was alive. She had won the day and surely if she persevered, she would one day see Noxus again.
Your body…
“Twilight… what do you mean ‘not yet used to my body’?”
Silence. Riven could not see her guest, but she heard breathing and nervous shuffling.
“Twilight? What’s wrong? Why won’t you answer me?”
“R-Riven… promise you won’t be mad.”
Those words brought about a cold sweat. She had heard it before when that small town doctor she visited after her defection mentioned the scar tissue. Still, she wanted to know, and was willing to lie to hear what Twilight meant. “I promise.”
A soft hum alerted Riven that Twilight was using her magic to levitate something. After a moment, she spoke: “Can you open your eyes?”
Riven grunted and struggled to do so. Such a simple act was giving her a headache and making her extremely frustrated, but after several tense seconds, she managed to open her eyes wide...
... And saw a pony. A reflection in a mirror, to be precise. This pony had mocha-colored fur, off-white hair in a style very similar to her own, large red eyes, and rectangular marks under each. Commonly held belief was that this was make-up Riven applied, but in actuality they were two of several burns that marred her body following Singed’s chemical attack. Now, they appeared to be patterns in her fur.
Her fur. Riven was a pony, and suddenly she found the strength to operate her mouth, which released a scream so gut-wrenching and primal that Twilight couldn’t even cover her ears to shut it out.
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So yeah, that's it for The Second Exile. But there is a sequel in the works; Celestia knows I've left enough open to continue it several times over. Did you like it? Hate it? Please, tell me here! I love hearing from you guys.
it was good real good, and if the end of the previus chapter is any reference i'll love the sequel (Cho is my favorite chmp after all.)
P.S. from here on know that you are watched.
love it
1301676
:< Is Riven gonna stay dead? Riven isn't gonna stay dead, rite? Champs don't die forever!
:c Are you gonna bring back Riven? You're gonna, rite? :c Bring her back? Because ponies... And... And Riven...
Also, she forgot to use her E. D:
Serious review, though!
I loved that fight with Luna and The Nightmare. It was great, both literally and figuratively. And for quite possibly the first time in my life, I found a distinct lack of Slice-Of-Life to be quite saddening. The sentence structure was a little halting in some parts, but still good. I... Didn't like Riven's insecurities, but that's simply a matter of taste, nothing more. Overall, I felt justified giving it a Thumbs Up.
My personal desires for future endeavors? Needs more Riven and less... other champs. Not because I love Riven that much (even though I really do), but because I speculate that there's a lot that can be done with the character you've already established in Equestria that you haven't explored. How would the ponies react to Riven killing a Diamond Dog that tries to kidnap a little filly? How would Pinkie handle being asked for a hamburger after promising that she could get Riven whatever she wanted to eat?
So... What I'm saying is, if a little less subtlety is needed... Perhaps you should bring back Riven!
Word.
1301676
awsome.
So many "Oh dear"'s was uttered that day.
I will happily await the sequel!
now the cover art makes more sense :P
1301812
I intend to explore more of Riven's character and just how different she is compared to the ponies, but I'm trying to steer clear of most of the tropes commonly associated with HiE fiction. Killing a diamond dog that has kidnapped the CMC, for instance, has been done. I mean, that scenario exactly. Several times.
Great fic, can't wait for the sequel, inspired to play League now. Good work, mate.
Great work. Riven is a great character (not sure how this happened given the rest of the League of Legends fluff) and it will be interesting to see how she handles her new situation. The ponies are just so drastically different from the people she grew up with in Noxious, and will likely make her guilt feel sharper in contrast to her own dark past.
Also, Riven really should have used my typical tank build for her.
The elements had more than enough kick to bring Noc down on their own, so all she needed to do was not die as she distracted Noc.
1303147
If I was using in-game logic, I would have just said she had Guardian Angel on and I could have avoided half of this fic.
cant wait for the sequel
MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR
1303152 True, although I rarely bother with Guardian Angel. Once you have Merc Treads, Warmongs, Atmas, Maw, and Thornmail/Force of Nature/Frozen Mallet it takes the entire enemy team to bring you down in a reasonable amount of time so the rez does not really help. I once brought down an Inhibitor with no help while tanking two enemy champions the whole time and made it out alive for the simple reason that I refused to die no matter what they did. I just walked up, ulted, and spent the next 30 seconds or so pounding on it before walking away with them trying to kill me all the way to the river.
1303238
I prefer my Riven to be a bit more glass cannon-y than that, but I see the merits of your build, for sure.
1303276 I have tried doing that, but it always seems like the rest of my team is usually doing that and someone needs to charge headfirst into the enemy team, so I wind up needing to go heavy on defensive items to survive initiating.
That said, the glass canon routine did work great for me one game, but that was more the result of me getting first blood when they screwed up an invade and me repeatedly ganking them because I was ahead as the jungler. They wound up surrendering at 20, but I was already starting to die so I was probably going to have to add at least some defense at that point anyways.
1303276 First question I have. Is the sequel already released?
Your work on this fimsiction was great. I liked it that far and I want to read moar
Now THERE's a suspenseful ending. Not only did things come out in a tense end that led to very real consequences for every character in some way, but it left us hanging for what comes next. So many questions left unanswered that leaves you at the edge of your chair with anticipation: How bad are Twilight's injuries? How did Riven end up as a pony (
Yay!) ? What's going to happen next in the Gryphon lands or will Cho'Gath migrate to the ponies? Did Luna get her confidence back after facing her inner demon (literally) ? In this way, the ending to this first tale of Equestria's newest inhabitant was a success.
On the other hand, I would say that it felt very abrupt in the endings arrival and delivery though. The first half of the chapter was without real urgency with the elements assembling, which is important but considering this was half the chapter and the following:Twilight is enduring pain before Nightmare/Nocturne attempts to flee and then mutual KO's Riven before finally being scattered by the elements. takes place over the span of 3, possibly 4, paragraphs, it just felt like the Climax was understated after all the build up. Also, even though half the chapter was the elements gathering, there was no real imagery about the magic being unleashed. Just, "It happened and Nocturnes scraps are hopefully gone for good."
Thanks for writing this up cunning_linguist, I'll be eagerly awaiting what comes next!
Edit: Forgot to mention this, but the death scene for Riven was masterfully done. Very touching and within character. The fact that she alluded to what she wanted to say but died right before actually getting to say the final words can be seen as cliche but it felt just right with how you did it. Bravo~
1352733
Thanks for your lengthy and thoughtful comment Genjen, as always. Though no one has yet to mention the most suspenseful part of my fic; the one I worked the hardest for and created the most build-up for:
What is the name of Apple Bloom's bow?
1352835
You're more than welcome. Also, I apologize for forgetting about Applebloom's bow. But you see, the suspense was so great I had to block the trauma out and forget about it in order to survive. Possibly this was the case for others as well.
As a side note, I'm eternally grateful that you ended this at chapter 11. I was starting to worry that the comment/outcome I stated back in chapter 3 would come into effect. You sir saved me from the ol' ball and chain as it were.
You know, before reading this, I'd never even heard of League of Legends, but even so, this was an awesome story.
When is the second part coming out?
1523807
soon.jpg
"soon" is an abstrackt meaning...atleast tell a number of weeks/months/years ?
1544665
Well, definitely not years...
1749412
There are ten other chapters, y'know.
1759301
Too many authors are needlessly overt about it. I prefer Metal Gear Pinkie.
805843
The like of all likes... a CHUCK NORRIS LIKE!!!
1816459
Pink pony is best multilingual pony.
1834269
Pegasus was an individual winged horse from Greek mythology. Only MLP made them a race, so the plural is up for interpretation. But you may be right and it really is written down with an A somewhere.
Hahaha.
Funny.
Do you think Riven would really scream? She has seen some terrible stuff, I thought something along the lines of "Well, fuck" would seem more appropriate.
2234722 oh yeah
Ult
"All alone"
"Darkness!"
"aahahahaha"
Had to read all of this. And then play a game as Riven- with a skin; that I won. And carried.
1981123
I do. Riven in the game comes across as moe because she's soft spoken, but she also has multiple battle cries, laughs, and tells crappy jokes. In fact, I'd say Riven is more emotional than most champions, but hides it like a good soldier ought too.
2234540
Stop standing still.
2240922
I'll take credit for that, if you don't mind. *yoink!*
2234722>>2234848
"The time for talk..." *sunglasses* "... Is over."
2241371
I only play Ahri, Diana, Soraka, Zyra, and Sona. Most of them aren't even really human.
2241424 i play xerath, mundo singed nautilus and fiddlesticks
don't really think singed and mundo can be classified as humans anymore considering what they have done to others and themselves so the closes thing i play to a human is nautlius and xerath which reminds me that is was all to long ago i read this. damn that is a good read
2241371
Reminds me, EU or US server?
Meaning 'ss' or 'mia'?
2241731
US, but I've drifted from LoL a bit since I began this story. I play more SMITE now.
2241971
Oh well, I tend to play on EU West, my friend- who is british got me playing LoL so I play with him.
2241675
I think you have it backward, Singed and Mundo seem the most human out of that list. Nautilus is as walking dive suit and Xerath is made up of energy.
2243113 they may be most human in body but in mind?
Not so much
2243550
In mind, Nautilus for sure, not so sure on Xerath.
2243566 well I think you to would get kind of obsessed with archiving the goal of eternal power if you accidentally killed the love of your life in the ritual to archive it. Also after that he was trapped for god knows how long and then forced to fight to have someone free you.
Pretty sure that it's hard to make friends when you are nothing but electricity. So yeah, I think he acts like a human that has been through all that
Well that was interesting read. Don't remember her, must have been playing before she was in the game.
One thing, I would prefer she remained human thou. Much more interesting situations taht way.
Wow, this fic...only two words to describe it. Great Success. It seems a tad bit too fast, but all in all, epic. Starting up the sequal.
Alright, so I haven't played LoL at all. Anything I need to know about it, or should I just start playing. I can't really play it because of my Acer Aspire, though.
EDIT (After 30 weeks): Finally got to play LoL and the game is actually better then expected, even if I sucked super bad.
Hi friends! Sorry about the late replies; I've become more invested in the sequel and as such, the comments on this story have slipped. I'll make a concerted effort to not let that happen too often.
2301189
You're a jerk and a hack.
2415463
Kiiiiiiinda late for that...
2476010
Yeah, I know. If I had to give myself one criticism it would be that I rush things. My pacing sucks, but it's usually justified in my head as that I want people to have a relatively quick read. I enjoy big elaborate fics too but sometimes you just want something fast to pass an hour or two.
2497420
Last hit.
I'm interested. How bout Shyvana?
Typically, I have no love for Noxian Champions.
This story has made Riven the exception.
Good work. Now I'm off to the sequel.
Write on,
Legion