- Member Since 23rd Dec, 2014
- offline last seen Jul 7th, 2023
MysteriousJerk
I like reading and writing sexytime stories, but don't tell anyone!
MysteriousJerk
Joined 23rd Dec, 2014 ·
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This was a great read and all I can say is you need to write more.
7540780 Don't worry, it's coming.
.
.
.
Pun only intended if it made you laugh.
Man i thought this was going to be an OC pony but now im really, really... like really off put that its fluttershy. I would like to imagin a gold coated pegasus with frosted white tipped feathers and dark colored mane. Obvously i cant have that now. This setting would have been nice for if she brought friends over then we could imagin fucking a new aroused stranger instead of what ever archetype the other five are.
You onow what im saying?
7541259 You know what's funny about that sentiment? I was never into Fluttershy clop and I never thought I would be since she's one of those characters whose nature makes it difficult to think about that way, but all it took was one little .gif file and this whole story was spawned. I wrote half of this the night after I saw it.
Besides, you can still picture your special snowflake OC for this chapter if that's what will get you off lol
7541706 fair enough its just what i pictured when you said dark maned pegasus and immidatly thought "hmmm none of the main six have dark a dark colored mane and are a pegasus... thats cool." But then you start getting those contextual hints and your like, "...its fluttershy. *meep goes the booner*"
7541750 Gonna have to show me where you see her described as having a dark mane...
This has rubbed my curiosity.
No pun intended.
well this has my attention. And I am certainly awaiting the next chapter. ^^
giggity.
Developing relationships and potential plot seem interesting so far. I'd actually consider this worth reading without the sex were it not so integral to the premise and character development. As is, any titillating elements are just an added bonus. Also, gotta say I rather liked the language stuff. It was an unexpected and pleasant surprise to actually see a fic depict a language barrier and go into more detail than just noting an inability to understand one another. Based on what you've shown already it seems you are at least attempting to make the language consistent with itself, which leaves me looking forward to potentially being able to come back later and translate previously unknown lines with vocabulary and grammar learned later in the story.
7549902 Well said, and thank you for the feedback. I hadn't intended the equine language to be nearly as prominent as it is here, but mayhap I'll try to use a few of the untranslated words in the upcoming chapters.
dat descriprion. I'm on it!
That vocabulary though. . .
7551147 hah, thanks ^_^
Welp, looks like I'll have to cum back for more...
More!
7557767 Soon!
Welp, I guess I'm not as gay as I thought...
7549902 I agree. I shall be keeping an eye on this one.
7559081 Flattery will get you everywhere
67.media.tumblr.com/e0cbe59c050b39a621cb814b35011e56/tumblr_inline_n736qbYQ6P1qie1ls.png
So this is mildly glorious.
... Any chance of a translation key for Equish to English, at some point?
7562009 I read that in the most fabulous voice ever. If you watch Critical Role to the point where you've seen Gilmore appear, you know exactly the voice I read that in.
7572507 The language isn't quite important enough to the story for that. Its main role is to lend a touch of realism and cover certain plot points or hint at other plot points until You become fluent, which doesn't take long when one is utterly immersed in another language. Context clues are provided so you can translate yourself, anyway
7574568 I understand, and I kind of enjoy the way you use it.
I'm mostly speaking for whenever the story ends or when the POV character does become fluent, at which point the plot-relevance of not entirely knowing the language is lost - at that point it might be good to provide a sort of mini-dictionary so we can translate easier, but keep the foreign language thing going for immersion's sake.
this hits a lot of high notes for me, the whole "being used/trained" but in a gentle fashion is quite sexy. fluttershy i feel is a good character to use for this kind of story bias though cause she is one of my favorite ponies and i find stories that can work her into a sexy setting to be amazing. The whole language barrier thing, and the idea that the pov isn't familiar with the world gives it cool scifi kinda of vibe. I love his internal thinking I like trying to imagine being in that mindset as the lack of stimulation leaves fluttershy as the only reference for "sexy" he has until he likes it.
7576460 Glad you like it so far! Thank you for the feedback
One of the best stories I've ever read.
Can't wait for more, this was unique
(In a good Way)
7579263 Oh, I don't deserve such praise, but thank you :D
Your name sounds like a Naughty-type Pokemon
7579982
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
We demand more!
7584092 And you shall have it! But tread lightly fellow pervert, for the future is uncertain and hardly what you bargain for.
Will you be putting up any chapters from Fluttershy's P.O.V.? From only his, she comes off as... well... sort of a really terrible person, even (or especially?) taking into account that she thinks he's just another animal. Although how she still does when he's demonstrated that he can learn language is beyond me.
Even leaving aside the sex (which would be better categorized as bestiality rather than xenophilia; xenophilia is the fetish towards the foreign and alien. While he is both, she thinks he's an animal. If she knew him as another sapient species, then she'd be a xenophile), her treatment of him would qualify as animal abuse. Chained up in the basement and denied basic socialization if he rejects her advances? Anyone who chained up their dog and left it alone down there for days--even if they fed it--would get their animal confiscated. And she doesn't seem to have supplied anything to occupy him; any pet owner can attest to the fact that even animals need to entertain themselves.
And giving him a pure vegan diet--yeah, ponies are herbivorous, but she takes care of a wide variety of animals, including some carnivores. She should recognize from his teeth that he's omnivorous.
Does anypony else know about him down there? If Fluttershy has that sort of fetishistic attraction to non-equine bodies, has she been taking advantage of the other animals she "takes care of"? Is Angel Bunny a sex slave?
7628601 The answers too all of these questions and issues will be dealt with in upcoming chapters. Kind of. Since this is supposed to be from your point of view, certain things are left ambiguous so that you can fill in your own canon. Whatever is sexiest for you is what you can assume is true.
7628601 Also, xenophiliacs come in a spectrum of preferences, sexually or socially or both. Some of them are turned on by entirely inhuman physiologies, while some simply prefer skin colors not their own and can't be turned on by anything too similar to their own.
So, no that little Angel Bunny asshole is not a sex slave.
Niiice
7797634 Thanks. More to come, slowly but surely.
7799293 Don't jinx it
Yay. Been waiting for this and it was worth the wait. I enjoyed the ever expanding of the language and the words in the native language and hiding the translation in English. Keep it up and enjoy both the sexual and other bits as well. Should be fun to see what you got plan with what seems to be discord coming in the next chapter.
WOO Updates!
this is the opposite of a problem.
7909153 Would you still think so if you came from a world that ostracized people who thought that way and didn't know you liked it?
7909193
I'm sure I'd convince myself that in my retelling of events, if I ever got home, she have been some humanoid alien with yellow skin and pink hair. What happens in the aliens basement can stay in the aliens basement.
My guess Discord had a claw in our arrival and hes jusg having fun seeing us dance to his friends will.
7912343 If only it were so simple.
Interesting. I'd like to see the dynamic between Fluttershy and Twilight once or after it's clear that Fluttershy has essentially sexually enslaved a sentient being.
I hope the human gets justice and Fluttershy is charged and prosecuted for what she's done.
7913971 Here's a hint: Applejack
7914740 Multiple endings have crossed my mind.
You've definitely captured my attention with this.
Good writing! Good setup. Good story!
7917947 Oh, well thank you