Okay, one more chapter to go in Act 1, and I promise, the next chapter, and hopefully the rest of the story, will be less dark.

Good chapter.  It's really a shame this hasn't gotten more attention, because it's really well-written so far. Keep up the good work!

>>850280850280

You are most kind to say so, sir.  I've still got 8 chapters left, so maybe a few more people will wander in during the program. ^_^

not bad so far, looking forward to the next chapters

Welp, there we have it.  It might not be good enough for EqD, but I'm proud of it, nevertheless.

I'm sorry to have kept the few of you waiting while I dallied with the prereaders, but I'm glad you're still around!

I'll be back with another story, just as soon as I can think of one.

notbad.jpg

a little fast paced though.

Growling...? Please don't do this to me!

Definitely enjoyed it and have to agree with CantThinkofaGoodName, it was a little fast paced and some of the scenes could have been a little more drawn out and detailed but I really liked the story and wish it had gotten into EQD... I feel like it deserves it. Looking forward to your next piece!

Well done.  I enjoyed this greatly.

Probably Dream Theater's greatest album next to Scenes From a Memory, but aside from that, i loved the story.  Everything about it was enjoyable.

Speaking of Scenes from a memory, are you planning on doing a fic for that too?

>>15526981552698

You?  You just made my month at least.  I have been waiting SO long for someone to get the references!

I had toyed with the idea, honestly.  It's a bit easy to crib off the album's story, but it's something I'm keeping in my back pocket.

I'm also thinking of going back and completely re-doing this story in the future.  I might make it my "one year as a writer" anniversary project, because it really does need some polish and re-direction.

>>15528481552848

I see

If you do make a Scenes from a memory fic i wish you luck . As for you re- doing this story i wish ya luck on that too!

Another thing kinda off topic, i thought it was funny how the album pic was of a newtons cradle and how my pic is pretty much the same thing. Never noticed that honestly .

Anyway I think you deserve a watch.

Oh noes

Interesting...

Defiantly has potential so far

KEEP

IT

UP

“Like stamp collecting?  Or that thing you do with yarn and needles?”

“Crochet.”

“Bless you.”

I cracked at that point

Nice cliffhanger

Very interesting plot; i am enjoying this

Good work

Very very good

Clap Clap Clap

She winked at him in a way that made him shiver.  “Yes.  Our house, if you take my meaning,” she said, walking off down the road towards their home.

Dusk glanced around a bit and trotted eagerly after her.

Innuendo Alert

But seriously, that was a great piece of work. Well done, my man,. Well done.

I came for all the Dream Theater references.... But stayed because this is a brilliant story! Good job :3

Also, I like the theme you wrote for Dusk!

I don't get why this doesn't have more attention/views. It's very well written, I was on the edge of my seat for almost every bit of it.

Well done!

I love this story. MAKE A SEQEAL. Have some mustaches as a reward.

How do I put mustaches down????????????????????????????  I am new. Meep.

Here we go.

How I felt:

Beginning:

Shortly after:

Middle:

End:

I'm not flipping kidding. MMAAKKEE AA SSEEQQUUEELL

The pure raw energy from that song brings into fruit who dusk is, and how he feels. honestly i am amazed by what you have done, my good man don't you ever stop being fabulous! (and i am also a fanatic of ze extreme sports as it were, mainly rock-climbing and hopefully skydiving, and yes i read that interview blog post thingie)