One day while Rainbow Dash was enjoying her day in ponyville, she noticed that Twilight has a certain kind of ice cream that she probably have made herself. But when Rainbow Dash ask her for some, she has to do a few things for Twilight in order to get it.
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Hmmmm story name: "Rainbow Dash wants ice cream"
....
Reading this story!
Edit:
Brilliant! That ending was absolutely fantastic! XD
OH YEAH!
Hmm, I guess I liked it, but umm...
You know what? I'm just going to like this and move on. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png
Why so many thumbs down if the comments are positive? I HATE when this happens...
funny story
i just read a funny story
and dat ending
945843 I know right
I thought it was doing pretty good untill...
suddenly kool-aid,
Twi plus shotgun plus koolade man = hell yes
plus: Rainbow Dalmation FTW i say this cuz
1. thats hilarious and
2. i have had halloweens that were relevant (as a kid of course, im no furry)
really messed up on the past/present tense
all in all this story looks as if its written by a child (and i mean that in the nicest of ways) and it has the same charm 3/5 and a like
1020581 I try my best. But sometimes I just keep thinking I'm not doing it hard enough
1025189
im not a great writer either but maybe i can offer some suggestions;
try reading more RD oriented fics, you know the really professional fausticorn ones, because i think youre biggest flaw would be making RD way too OOC
I mean i know she loves ice cream, but i dont think she would willingly get in a dalmation suit unless she REALLY wanted that ice cream, which was not clearly evidenced
Twi was pretty IC for the most part, not counting the random ending, I could very well believe that she would read to little foals like that, and that she would know a minitar that ran a raspberry farm (although AJ and Carrot Top might not approve)
its still pretty funny though, just try to get a proofer or a better one than you may have, and im sure the story will pick right up, because this is an awesome premise for people that hate clop and ship fics, very light hearted, and with great potential for a sequel/ ch. 2 (maybe involving AJ and CT competing for the raspberry secret from lil' steve)
1025612 I don't really have a prof reader, but I am in desperate need of one right about now. And thanks by the way, I will take what you said in mind.