The Reclusive Lord of the Profaned Capital.
The Grand Betrayer.
The Last Giant.
Yhorm...
Yhorm The Giant has been treated as a menace ever since he first stood for the people that once called him monster. He took the mantle of Lord for wanting peace and prosperity for the Capital, but it only caused ruin. So much ruin, that it destroyed the Capital and charred all but stone. But that was a long, long time ago. Now Yhorm is dead. Slayed by the True Lord, Yhorm's Soul will be on a journey that no one expected.
This takes place in the Displaced-Verse! I saw that the trend of human + game costume + the merchant giving an item them = adventure has been... HIGHLY saturated. So I figured I would take this a step in another direction, with the character themselves going to Equestria. So Prepare for the long haul...
Now I kinda want to read Siegward in Equestria...
--Sweetie Belle
Well the bit with old Yhorm is excellent, and a clever subversion of the usual tropes. But why are we going with this super-AU Equestria? Took me a good several minutes to parse that whole bit with valkyries and witches and seraphim.
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Well for one, Valkyries are depicted as several things: The most common one was akin to an Angel, but I was going to use the Seraphim, (the Rank of Angel just under God himself) so i didn't want to be redundant. As for Wizards and Witches, I wanted to do make a way to integrate magic in the world than have them having telekinetic powers, like we see in EQG. I also threw in some not-to-many-seen tropes like having the Mane Six (with the exclusion of Twilight) be adventures that take quests from guild halls and such.
tl;dr
Valks have wings
Wizards/Witches have wands or staves
and the Seraphim are next to god-like beings, that if you look at depictions of them they six wings. Mine have two wings, but the more they reveal the more power is released, like a limiter of some kind. This will be further looked into at later chapters.
This is surprisingly good.
Do continue.
OOooooooh, rather than x human turning into char, its the original?
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Oh I figured all of that well enough, once I caught on to the fact that this was one of those non-standard Equestias. I was just wondering, why?
Hoping to see more
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Change of pace is all, the Displaced-World is too over saturated with pony and anthro
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Fair enough.
bloody hell this is amazing
Oh no, another Displaced sto-
Oh thank god it's a proper crossover.
Yeah probably won't be continuing this. Are the characters human? Anthro? Ponies? I genuinely can't tell. This seriously looks like Equestria-in-name-only. Trying to follow everything going on was just confusing.
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See
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The answer is obvious Twilight. They already know...or are washing their hands of it and leaving it to you...or are just vastly incompetent...alright maybe obvious is the wrong word.
Also was anyone else’s first thought of reading of a creepy peddler with a huge backpack that it was the Happy Mask Salesman?
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I was under the impression he was more akin to the Blackmarket Gun Seller from Resident Evil 4
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Yeah I didn’t think it was him after reading further, but weirdly the Happy Mask Salesman was the first thing that popped into my head from the opening statement. I was merely curious if anyone else is apparently also that hung up by the walking creepy pasta that Nintendo created.
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Eh, i started it all the way back in 2017, i was only 18 then can you blame me? Also:
Holy fucking ass crackers, Shakey read my story
Fuck. Yes. Yhorm is my all-time favorite character and boss of the entire Dark Souls series, and someone finally made a story on him. A spin on a Displaced story, no less. You have my full support. If you need anything, just ask.
Clears throat Anyway, by the looks of this, you just need to give this whole chapter a lot of polishing. Most of the sentences seem out of order, and there's little to no transition. Grammar's okay, few mistakes here and there but good enough.
I'd recommend putting aside some time to go over this chapter with a fine comb.
Great chapter keep up the great work
I need more
Moar please
More :D ?
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I'm working on the second chapter, 800 of the 5,000 words. This is gonna suck donkey balls...
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Yey!
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i love how you factored in the Displaced Merchant, but didn't make this a Displaced story
what kinda tarnishes this is the fact that you made it a humanized alt universe
i wanted to see Yhorm interact with ponies
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NEW
NEW
NEW
More please
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so uh
how's that update coming along, chief?
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It's coming, keep your horses in the stables.
I'm in the middle of moving out at the same time
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ah
better a late chapter than no new one at all
and the telling us is a good thing too
more please
I see Yhorm in a new light after almost getting the plat trophy for ds3.
I'm the big sad.
When is there going to be another chapter, I'm tired of waiting
This had such a good start! Please don't tell me it's dead!
so, this ever gonna update?