This story is a sequel to General "Spikewall" Dragon
It's that time of the year again, but instead of having another reenactment of the Equestrian Civil War, Princess Luna has another idea...and it involves not only the population of Ponyville, but a giant, continent-shaped island and tens of thousands of ponies...
Spike wants revenge on Twilight, but he's not the only one looking to settle a score...
Fluttershy doesn't want to be there, but nopony cares...
The author rips off of the Academy Award-winning Patton multiple times, but its not the only legendary World War 2 film he appropriates for his own needs...
Comedy sequel to my surprise hit, "General Spikewall Dragon". It is not necessary to have read that story to enjoy this one, but it may illuminate some tensions present herein.
Rated Teen for mild language and mild alcohol references.
Enjoy!
EDIT: Hit featured box 7/21/16! Thank you all so much!
Oh jesus yes.
Timing this to see how fast it hits the feature box.
BWAHAHA!
I can't. There's just so much stuff. Also, take all my everything because all the yes'.
Oh my lord it's here! It's finally here!!! But to bad that I can't read it till tomorrow. Don't worry though. It's on the top of my priorities list...just under any story updates I receive. Can't get behind on those guys.
Loved it. Loved it. LOVED IT.
*Reads author's note at beginning*
Lets see here: Spike, Pinkie, Twi, and Starlight are pretty obvious.
Rarity as Goering? Perfect in every way.
Poor Fluttersh..er Flutterlini
Dashin was well...awesome. The mental breakdown brought out a lot of lols.
Lyra: Eisenhower
Bon Bon: Montgomery
Roseluck: Gerd von Rundstedt
Big Mac: Friedrich Paulus
Filthy Rich: Felix Steiner
Applejack: Zhukov
Trixie: Yamamoto (whose appearance I might add was fantastic).
Ember: Colonel George Taylor
Those are the ones off the top of my head. I'll admit I had to look up Ritter von Epp on Wikipedia.
gif-finder.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Charlton-Heston-Crazy-laughing.gif
But they made the farthest inland advance
, took on an entire Germane airborne division at Oatorna and came out on top, did much to keep the convoy routes clear of Sparklitz's U-boats, and liberated the Witherlands.
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/hitlerparody/images/8/88/Hitler_trollface_close-up.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130331180607
As a proud Canadian...I resent that!
oh yesuh! Very Honorabu!
How long till Trixiemoto comes out?
7410342 That's the end of the story for now...
Just like in the prequel, Trixie's sneak attack is how I wrap things up.
You had me at Patton.
Oh, dis gon be good!!
So very much win in this story! Best General played by Best Pony (Muffins!), and so many absolutnichtDeutschzusammengesetzteWörteraus that my giggle muscles may not recover for days!
Not even going to start on the cast of characters; the allied ones are pretty obvious but I'm not that good with the German side and only got about half of them. As for the movies, I'm thinking Patton of course, probably Saving Private Ryan (the opening sequence showing the landing on Omaha beach) and probably The Battle of the Bulge (don't recall Bastogne being explicitly shown in Patton).
You've won the internet (again!) -- well done! Have a fave and a thumbs up!
No Stalliongrad Red Square charge? Aww...
Well, I guess Spike deserves to have a long, painful injury after all the crap he pulled. Jokes aside, am I the only one who thought the guys who won were kinda the biggest *ssholes in this? Including Luna?
7410556 Thank you very much!
You got Patton, but the other two were wrong. Excellent educated guesses though!
Scootaloo is John Steele. I'm somewhat surprised that there wasn't any mention of Goebbels.
Got the films down, even though I'm not as much of a film buff, (though one of my favorite films is Tora Tora Tora), most of the generals to but I'm more of a navy lover myself. Recognized some references but not gonna hunt them down.
Though Trixie seems to be adding a wee bit to much joy for her role given the person she's representing being a bit more reluctant to get involved, as well as recognizing the opportunities missed in the plan...
Whelp, you've got Patton,
The Longest Day
And 'DownFall'
Those are the three I recognized and I haven't even seen DownFall except for the Hitler rant.
As for Trixie, I'm hoping for something from Tora! Tora! Tora!
Still, this was extremely funny, and I actually did learn a thing or two. Bravo!
What did Apple Jack write though. I can't figure it out.
The fun has been scaled to 1:100
^This scene.
OO OO, are you guna do nam next?!
After or if you do the (insert pony pun of the pacific here) theater next that is.
7410631 I tried to avoid the more heinous war criminals
“This is going to make the Civil War from last year look like a game of cops and robbers played by paraplegic foals inside a ball pit!”
Not even a full segment in-character and you managed to make me cry with this. This blindsided the Hell outta me.
7410750 Thank you!
7410650 You got all the films!
As for what AJ wrote, I'm leaving it up to an enterprising individual to find out...
I came here for the sole purpose of seeing the "Magnificent Bastard" moment. It was glorious.
Kinda bummed you left out that "General Dragon" speech, but there wasn't much there that you could have changed.
Full speech: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x156uvg_patton-s-opening-speech-to-the-troops-george-c-scott_shortfilms
Oh, that ending! Just you wait, Trixie. General Dragon is going to kick that sorry flank of yours. Or should we now call him General MacDragon? (AKA, a take on General MacArthur)
Needs a sequel to cover the way in the pacific.
This is superb, although I'm rather surprised that you didn't have fun with POW camp films...
Google translate is your friend:
APPLEHAK IS BEST to get him !
DIE FOR MOTČERLAND Komrades !
POTATOES ARE MORE VORTČ TCAN UOUR LIFE !
ALL HAIL KOMRAD Dasin !
NOT ONE ČOOFSTEP BAHKVARDS !
SUGARKUBES OF TCE VORLD , UNITE !
Extra Translated:
APPLEJACK IS BEST PONY
DIE FOR MOTHERLAND COMRADES
POTATOES ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR LIFE(?)
ALL HAIL COMRADE DASHIN
NOT ONE HOOFSTEP BACKWARDS
SUGERCUBES OF THE WORLD UNITE
(Why was Serbian thrown in? Do you like the kebab removal squad or something?)
I enjoyed this story and thought it was hilarious (Especially that Hitler's Downfall reference) but I do wonder how the nuclear bombings of the pony versions of Hiroshima and Nagasaki will be done (However I do get the feeling Rainbow Dash will be the "Pilot" of one of the "bombers"). In addition I do wonder what war reenactment will happen after WW2 (I have a feeling to will be Korea or Vietnam however I will throw WW1 in there just in case).
I thought Trixie will start Vietnam, but Pacific front still seems like fun.
Here we go:
Watermelon-Rhind River: The Rhine
Spurlin: Berlin
Pinkwin Ponkwell: Erwin Rommel
Twil Sparklitz: Karl Donitz
Franz Flitter Von Epp: Wilhelm Ritter von Leeb
Neighvaria: Austria?
Germaneigh: Germany
Macintosh Applus: Friedrich Paulus (Big Mac can't catch a break, can he?)
Rarmann Goerrity: Herman Goering
Field Marshal von Rosestedt: Field Marshal von Rundstedt
Flithyrich Steiner: Colonel Steiner (not much here)
Neightalia: Italy / poss. Hetalia joke
Bunnyto Flutterlini: Benito Mussolini
Cowardland: France
General George S. Dragon: General George S. Pattonn
Starmar Gladley: Omar Bradely
Poniet Union: Soviet Union
Rainbosef Dasin: Josef Stalin
Plotland: Poland
Prance: France
That wall the Crystal Empire students built: Maginot Line
Sanschlosslandkorps: Afrika Korps
Tuneasya: Tunisa
Bontgomery: Montgomery
El Almane: El Alamein
Kisserine Pass: Kasserine Pass
General Apply Jackov: General Georgy Zhukov
Moss-Cow: Moscow
Fleetfloot Von Bock: Fedor von Bock
Sibearia: Siberia
Great Bitian: Great Britian
St. Sleetursburg: St. Petersburg (Leningrad)
reincarnation of commander Hurricane: reincarnation of Hannibal
Stalliongrad: Stalingrad
Wilhelm "KarottenKopf" Strass: Wilhelm "Deathshead" Strass (Wolfenstein)
Eurclope: Europe
Seesawly: Sicily
Renaming Tank T-34, nice
General Lysenhower: General Eisenhower
Palomino: Palermo
Messinup: Messina
Unnamed meeting: Tehran conference
Cowlais: Calais
Caneighdians: Canadians
General Squekson: General Simpson
Operation: Garden Market: Operation: Market Garden (Lazy man)
Bag-o-stone: Bastogne
General "Muffind" McDerpliffe: General "Nuts" McAuliffe
General Hayberger: General Heinrich Freinherr von Luttwitz
Triximoto: Yamamoto
Unknowns: Colonel Ember, Fridolin von Cloud und Kicker
References: The Downfall rant, many Patton references, and probably Scootaloo's scene but I'm not sure
Other people have translated the German and the Russian/Serbian, and this comment is long as is
7411074 Those are actually all the closest one can get to phonetic english written in cyrilic script
This was even more hilarious than the original.
I would have liked to see Twilight's full "Downfall" moment not just the tease.
More please!
So sequel, Yes? No? Mabey?
Still, Spike seemed more competent and less insane in the prequel. Is it because this time he was channeling Patton?
In any case, I loved when he bitchslapped three ponies at once
I would love to have more of this series of stories
All I need now, is the Pacific theater. But who would the young General become, who indeed...
PS. I hope you don't forget about the Japanese invasion of the Aleutian islands. A lot of people not from Alaska forget that the Japanese actually invaded US soil. And how badly the government handled those islands. I mean, sending in desert trained infantry to take bairn, and often frozen, islands, is a bit of a mistake. They even failed on air support with the bombs freezing, and therefore not deploying.
It'l be fun to read some of that, in ponifed reenactment style. Well, your ponifed, reenactment style.
You know, you mentioned at the beginning that you hoped that the sequel wouldn't ruin the franchise.
Sadly, while I wouldn't say this ruined anything, if I were to give the original a B in comedy, I'd give this one a C.
It took me a while to figure out why I laughed at this one so much less than the first one, and it struck me that the juxstaposition of mundanity and absurdity was far sharper in Spikewall over this one. In that one, half the hilarity was the contrast between those who were taking it seriously, and those who weren't. This time around, everyone was kind of taking it seriously off the bat, and it took a huge edge off the humor. One of the best moments in Spikewall for me was Spikewall's death, when he wished to rest in the trees... only for him to literally want to rest in the trees now that he was out of the game. This story didn't have any hilarious character breaks like that.
Also, in that one, by establishing right in the beginning that Spike had gone "off script" it gave the audience some investment in the outcome. Maybe the rebels could have won, which also could have been played for a ton of laughs. Heck, this one could have been saved by a twist ending like that, if everything proceeded according to plan, then you had Twilight basically discover the nuke or build a Ratte, then go full on "mare in the high castle" and have a blast with it.
In summary, this story just didn't quite have the absurdity or stakes of the original, and it decidedly suffers for it.
P.S. I know the Ratte would have been about as useful as the Yamato, but it would have been hilarious to at least see.
I am actually delighted to see this.
So far I've had such a shitty day and an even shittier night so to see this, a glorious sequel to a marvelous story of defeat, it down right put a tear in my eye and a thousand mile wide grin on my face.
Thank you for writing this.
7413440 I'm so glad to hear that! It's comments like that that make writing these all worth it!
I really enjoyed this. But for me the first one was way better. Then again I was lost on basically half of this stuff so I did not understand a lot of it. But it was still funny. Except for Fluttershy hanging upside down on a hook.
Good job 8/10.
-BFBL
Not really one for history, but I love this!
And, great news! We have more to come!
That last part.. Pfft.
make.a. DAMN.SEQUEL!!!
You really overusing the words 'pee' and 'urine'. I like it!!!!
That ending hype!
Tenouttaten.