Greed, Lust, Wrath, Pride, Envy, Gluttony, and Sloth, the seven dragon's sins that Spike has to hold tight inside the back of his mind each day of his life in order to grow up as the best and most reliable dragon this world could have.
Unfortunately for him, his own expertise at keeping those sins at bay make it impossible for his friends to notice his daily struggles. That is until the day Rainbow Dash teased the dragon enough to pop a genius idea into the chaotic mind of Discord.
Note: Thanks to B_25 for his suggestions. I hope to improve my "showing" skills as the times goes on
Chapters (1)
8259773
It was a countermeasure against Pinkie's talk
This fic is full of disappointment.
8259814
Well, spike's face on the cover can't argue against your comment. mind to being more precise? I would like to know why it disappointed you
Maybe I was too harsh, but like bonez said, this really doesn't need mature tag, and description not helping either
8259858
mmm, then I'll change the rate. The synopsis by the other hand could take me some time to improve if I decide to change it.
So,
Rainbow Dash, the pony that loves to nap, received Sloth;
Pinkie Pie, the hyperactive party pony, received Lust;
Applejack, the fit hard-working farmer, received Gluttony;
Twilight Sparkle, the modest and neurotic, got Envy;
Fluttershy, the timid pegasus; received Pride;
Starlight Glimmer, the most powerful unicorn in Equestria; has Greed;
and Rarity, the drama queen, acquires Anger.
Is anyone as worried as I am right now?
Were there grammatical mistakes? Yes. Was some of the dialogue mildly awkward and worth improving? Yes. Was it overall funny and enjoyable?
YES!
8260278
I'm happy to know that you enjoyed it. English is not my first language so I'm using the fan fics as a method to improve my grammar little by little (and also to release some of the ideas that creep inside my mind from time to time)
Ever saw Trinity Seven?
8260328
i watched three episodes of the anime. I lost the track after uni and work got the best of me.
Nice start... I want to see it devolve ^^
Seriously though, that was hilarious. Part of me wishes for a part two, but it's a good stopping point and hilarious story nonetheless.
This needs a continuation!!
You can't set this up and just finish like that!
This has so much potential!!
8260179 Would you feel better if..........Pinkamena Diane Pie gets anger.............while making cupcakes with a knife?
Rarity gets Gluttony
Fluttershy gets Lust
Twilight Sparkle gets Greed
AppleJack gets Sloth
Starlight Glimmer gets Envy
Rainbow Dash gets Pride
8262106
at first, I wanted to give lust to Fluttershy, but then I recalled that discord was her best friend, making it unkind to him to toss a dangerous sin inside her.
BTW, everyone knows that giving Anger to Diane it's a bad idea
Great chapter. Anger is Wrath
Pride, Greed Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Sloth and Wrath
8262318
and I thought something was missing while writing the sins out. thanks
This was good, but could have been better with some grammar corrections and editing.
7/10!
8263788
I'll do my best to improve in the future
8264376
No problem. If your going to continue, may want to look for an editor. Sometimes we are our own worse enemy.
P.S. Love the picks for the Sins. Especially, Pinkie and Starlight.
My friends and I did a rather silly skype call reading of this story, and although it's unpolished, it amused us greatly.
8294120
.
Glad to hear you both enjoyed it
Also, I have some free time on my schedule, I would use that time to correct some things here on my own before asking for the help of an editor.
Feels incomplete.
8355260
i agree
I enjoyed this, it sounds like an interesting premise, would probably work well in a full story instead of a one-shot if done right. Well done Mr/Mrs Sejox, well done.
8381452
8355260
8379686
I will try to make something greater from this in the future. But to be honest, this started as a silly idea that grew into something bigger enough to change into an interesting one. Since I'm already making a series I saw more fit to make a one shot comedy out of it to peace my mind out for the meantime.
As soon as I read this bit, I thought Spike's mind must be saying 'Oh no!' in the same was as TFS Vegeta did when Super Android 13 grabbed him.
8450079
Lol good choice. I was thinking in the "oh nonononono!" from that episode of family guy in which The clebeland's house is falling appart while he takes a shower
8450162
Or the ever popular:
Yeah it’s not like a dragon suck as spike could kill you anytime he wants but hey whatever
8462269
that comment of yours made me recall the stories of old in which normal people lived among mighty creatures. Like the hypogrif, or the trents for example. depending on the story humans will live peacefully around them even though those creatures could kill'em with a single swipe of their "hands".
8462287
Huh neat
HAHAHAHAHA!
Fucking brilliant.
8484006
Senpai has enjoyed my work.
Today has been a good day.
8484036
Amma stalk ya now.
Great, trust a god to buck everything up. I loved this story, I feel like it needs another chapter, and more prideful Flutters. I like Pride is the more dangerous of the sins, since everyone has it but that's just me. Very great chapter, loved it.
OK. I demand a sequel!!! In which Starlight reveals her feelings towards Spike.
Interesting.